the daisy chain, or aspirations-第25章

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to　talk　over　of　the　school　doings　of　this　week；　and　there　was　nearly
as　much　laughing　as　in　days　past。　　Ethel　wondered　whether　any　one　but
herself　observed　that　the　voice　most　seldom　heard　was　Norman's。

The　promised　call　was　made　by　Dr。　Hoxton；　and　Mr。　Everard；　an　old
friend；　and　after　their　departure　Dr。　May　came　to　Margaret's　room
with　fresh　accounts；　corroborating　what　Harry　had　said　of　the　clear
knowledge　and　brilliant　talent　that　Norman　had　displayed；　to　a　degree
that　surprised　his　masters；　almost　as　much　as　the　examiners。　　The
copy　of　verses　Dr。　May　brought　with　him；　and　construed　them　to
Margaret；　commenting　all　the　way　on　their　ease；　and　the　fullness　of
thought；　certainly　remarkable　in　a　boy　of　sixteen。

They　were　then　resigned　to　Ethel's　keeping；　and　she　could　not　help
imparting　her　admiration　to　their　author；　with　some　apology　for
vexing　him　again。

〃I　don't　want　to　be　cross；〃　said　Norman；　whom　these　words　roused　to　a
sense　that　he　had　been　churlish　last　night；　〃but　I　cannot　help　it。　　I
wish　people　would　not　make　such　a　fuss　about　it。〃

〃I　don't　think　you　can　be　well；　Norman。〃

〃Nonsense。　　There's　nothing　the　matter　with　me。〃

〃But　I　don't　understand　your　not　caring　at　all；　and　not　being　the
least　pleased。〃

〃It　only　makes　it　worse；〃　said　Norman；　〃I　only　feel　as　if　I　wanted　to
be　out　of　the　way。　　My　only　comfortable　time　yesterday　was　on　that
bench　in　the　cool　quiet　cloister。　　I　don't　think　I　could　have　got
through　without　that；　when　they　left　me　in　peace；　till　Cheviot　and
Harry　came　to　rout　me　up；　and　I　knew　it　was　all　coming。〃

〃Ah！　you　have　overworked　yourself；　but　it　was　for　something。　　You
have　given　papa　such　pleasure　and　comfort；　as　you　can't　help　being
glad　of。　　That　is　very　different　from　us　foolish　young　ones　and　our
trumpeting。〃

〃What　comfort　can　it　be？　　I've　not　been　the　smallest　use　all　this
time。　　When　he　was　ill；　I　left　him　to　Ernescliffe；　and　lay　on　the
floor　like　an　ass；　and　if　he　were　to　ask　me　to　touch　his　arm；　I
should　be　as　bad　again。　　A　fine　thing　for　me　to　have　talked　all　that
arrogant　stuff　about　Richard！　　I　hate　the　thought　of　it；　and；　as　if
to　make　arrows　and　barbs　of　it；　here's　Richard　making　as　much　of　this
as　if　it　was　a　double　first　class！　　He　afraid　to　be　compared　with　me；
indeed！〃

〃Norman；　indeed；　this　is　going　too　far。　　We　can't　be　as　useful　as　the
elder　ones；　and　when　you　know　how　papa　was　vexed　about　Richard；　you
must　be　glad　to　have　pleased　him。〃

〃If　I　were　he；　it　would　only　make　me　miss　her　more。　　I　believe　he
only　makes　much　of　me　that　he　may　not　disappoint　me。〃

〃I　don't　think　so。　　He　is　really　glad；　and　the　more　because　she　would
have　been　so　pleased。　　He　said　it　would　have　been　a　happy　day　for
her；　and　there　was　more　of　the　glad　look　than　the　sorry　one。　　It　was
the　glistening　look　that　comes　when　he　is　watching　baby；　or　hearing
Margaret　say　pretty　things　to　her。　　You　see　it　is　the　first　bright
morning　we　have　had。〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Norman；　〃perhaps　it　was；　but　I　don't　know。　　I　thought
half　of　it　was　din。〃

〃Oh；　Norman！〃

〃And　another　thing；　Ethel；　I　don't　feel　as　if　I　had　fairly　earned　it。
Forder　or　Cheviot　ought　to　have　had　it。　　They　are　both　more　really
good　scholars　than　I　am；　and　have　always　been　above　me。　　There　was
nothing　I　really　knew　better；　except　those　historical　questions　that
no　one　reckoned　on；　and　not　living　at　home　with　their　sisters　and
books；　they　had　no　such　chance；　and　it　is　very　hard　on　them；　and　I
don't　like　it。〃

〃Well；　but　you　really　and　truly　beat　them　in　everything。〃

〃Ay；　by　chance。　　There　were　lots　of　places　in　construing；　where　I
should　have　broken　down　if　I　had　happened　to　be　set　on　in　them；　it
was　only　a　wonder　I　did　not　in　that　chorus；　for　I　had　only　looked　at
it　twice；　but　Everard　asked　me　nothing　but　what　I　knew；　and　now　and
then　I　get　into　a　funny　state；　when　nothing　is　too　hard　for　me；　and
that　was　how　it　was　yesterday　evening。　　Generally；　I　feel　as　dull　as
a　post；〃　said　Norman；　yawning　and　stretching；　〃I　could　not　make　a
nonsense　hexameter　this　minute；　if　I　was　to　die　for　it。〃

〃A　sort　of　Berserkar　fury！〃　said　Ethel；　〃like　that　night　you　did　the
coral…worm　verses。　　It's　very　odd。　　Are　you　sure　you　are　well；　dear
Norman？〃

To　which　he　answered；　with　displeasure；　that　he　was　as　well　as
possible；　ordered　her　not　to　go　and　make　any　more　fuss；　and　left　her
hastily。　　She　was　unhappy；　and　far　from　satisfied；　she　had　never
known　his　temper　so　much　affected；　and　was　much　puzzled；　but　she　was
too　much　afraid　of　vexing　him；　to　impart　her　perplexity　even　to
Margaret。　　However；　the　next　day；　Sunday；　as　she　was　reading　to
Margaret　after　church；　her　father　came　in；　and　the　first　thing　he
said　was；　〃I　want　to　know　what　you　think　of　Norman。〃

〃How　do　you　mean？〃　said　Margaret；　〃in　health　or　spirits？〃

〃Both；〃　said　Dr。　May。　　〃Poor　boy！　he　has　never　held　up　his　head　since
October；　and；　at　his　age；　that　is　hardly　natural。　　He　goes　moping
about；　has　lost　flesh　and　appetite；　and　looks　altogether　out　of
older；　shooting　up　like　a　Maypole　too。〃

〃Mind　and　body；〃　said　Margaret；　while　Ethel　gazed　intently　at　her
father；　wondering　whether　she　ought　to　speak；　for　Margaret　did　not
know　half　what　she　did；　nothing　about　the　bad　nights；　nor　what　he
called　the　〃funny　state。〃

〃Yes；　both。　　I　fancied　it　was　only　his　rapid　growth；　and　the
excitement　of　this　examination；　and　that　it　would　go　off；　but　I　think
there's　more　amiss。　　He　was　lounging　about　doing　nothing；　when　the
girls　were　gone　to　school　after　dinner；　and　I　asked　him　to　walk　down
with　me　to　the　Almshouses。　　He　did　not　seem　very　willing；　but　he
went；　and　presently；　as　I　had　hold　of　his　arm；　I　felt　him　shivering；
and　saw　him　turn　as　pale　as　a　sheet。　　As　soon　as　I　noticed　it；　he
flushed　crimson；　and　would　not　hear　of　turning　back；　stoutly
protesting　he　was　quite　well；　but　I　saw　his　hand　was　quivering　even
when　I　got　into　church。　　Why；　Ethel；　you　have　turned　as　red　as　he
did。〃

〃Then　he　has　done　it！〃　exclaimed　Ethel；　in　a　smothered　voice。

〃What　do　you　mean？　　Speak；　Ethel。〃

〃He　has　gone　past　itthe　place；〃　whispered　she。

The　doctor　made　a　sound　of　sorrowful　assent；　as　if　much　struck；　then
said；　〃you　don't　mean　he　has　never　been　there　since？〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Ethel；　〃he　has　always　gone　round　Randall's　alley　or　the
garden；　he　has　said　nothing；　but　has　contrived　to　avoid　it。〃

〃Well；〃　said　Dr。　May；　after　a　pause；　〃I　hoped　none　of　us　knew　the
exact　spot。〃

〃We　don't；　he　never　told　us；　but　he　was　there。〃

〃Was　he？〃　exclaimed　her　father；　〃I　had　no　notion　of　that。　　How　came
he　there？〃

〃He　went　on　with　Mr。　Ernescliffe；　and　saw　it　all；〃　said　Ethel；　as　her
father　drew　out　her　words；　apparently　with　his　eye；　〃and　then　came　up
to　my　room　so　faint　that　he　was　obliged　to　lie　on　the　floor　ever　so
long。〃

〃Fainthow　long　did　it　last？〃　said　her　father；　examining　her　without
apparent　emotion；　as　if　it　had　been　an　indifferent　patient。

〃I　don't　know；　things　seemed　so　long　that　evening。　　Till　after　dark
at　least；　and　it　came　on　in　the　morningno；　the　Monday。　　I　believe
it　was　your　armfor　talking　of　going　to　see　you　always　brought　it
on；　till　Mr。　Ward　gave　him　a　dose　of　brandy…and…water；　and　that
stopped　it。〃

〃I　wish　I　had　known　this　before。　　Derangement　of　the　nervous　system；
no　doubta　susceptible　boy　like　thatI　wonder　what　sort　of　nights
he　has　been　having。〃

〃Terrible　ones；〃　said　Ethel；　〃I　don't　think　he　ever　sleeps　quietly
till　morning；　he　has　dreams；　and　he　groans　and　talks　in　his　sleep；
Harry　can　tell　you　all　that。〃

〃Bless　me！〃　cried　Dr。　May；　in　some　anger；　〃what　have　you　all　been
thinking　about　to　keep　this　to　yourselves　all　this　time？〃

〃He　could　not　bear　to　have　it　mentioned；〃　said　Ethel　timidly；　〃and　I
didn't　know　that　it　signified　so　much；　does　it？〃

〃It　signifies　so　much；　that　I　had　rather　have　given　a　thousand　pounds
than　have　let　him　go　on　all　this　time；　to　be　overworked　at　school；
and　wound　up　to　that　examination！〃

〃Oh；　dear！　I　am　sorry！〃　said　Ethel；　in　great　dismay。　　〃If　you　had　but
been　at　home　when　Cheviot　wanted　Harry　to　have　sent　for　youbecause
he　did　not　think　him　fit　for　it！〃　　And　Ethel　was　much　relieved　by
pouring　out　all　she　knew；　though　her　alarm　was　by　no　means　lessened
by　the　effect　it　produced　on　her　father；　especially　when　he　heard　of
the　〃funny　state。〃

〃A　fine　state　of　things；〃　he　said；　〃I　wonder　it　has　not　brought　on　a
tremendous　illness　by　this　time。　　A　boy　of　that　sensitive　temperament
meeting　with　such　a　shocknever　looked　afterthe　quietest　and　most
knocked　down　of　all；　and　therefore　the　most　neglectedhis　whole
system　disorderedand　then　driven　to　school　to　be　harassed　and
overworked；　if　we　had　wanted　to　occasion　brain　fever　we　could　not
have　gone　a　better　way　to　set　about　it。　　I　should　not　wonder　if
health　and　nerves　were　damaged　for　life！〃

〃Oh！　papa；　papa！〃　cried　Ethel；　in　extreme　distress；　〃what　shall　I　do！
I　wish　I　had　told　you；　but〃

〃I'm　not　blaming　you；　Ethel；　you　knew　no　better；　but　it　has　been
grievous　neglect。　　It　is　plain　enough　there　is　no　one　to　see　after
you；〃　said　the　doctor；　with　a　low　groan。

〃We　may　be　taking　it　in　time；〃　said　Margaret's　soft　voice〃it　is
very　well　it　has　gone　on　no　longer。〃

〃Three　months　is　long　enough；〃　said　Dr。　May。

〃I　suppose；〃　continued　Margaret；　〃it　will　be　better　not　to　let　dear
Norman　know　we　are　uneasy　about　him。〃

〃No；　no；　certainly　not。　　Don't　say　a　word　of　this　to　him。　　I　shall
find　Harry；　and　ask　about　these　disturbed　nights；　and　then　watch　him；
trusting　it　may　not　have　gone　too　far；　but　there　must　be　dreadful
excitability　of　brain！〃

He　went　away；　leaving　Margaret　to　comfort　Ethel　as　well　as　she　could；
by　showing　her　that　he　had　not　said　the　mischief　was　done；　putting
her　in　mind　that　he　was　wont　to　speak　strongly；　and　trying　to　make
her　thankful　that　her　brother　would　now　have　such　care　as　might　avert
all　evil　results。

〃But；　oh；〃　said　Ethel；　〃his　success　has　been　dearly　purchased！〃




CHAPTER　XII。



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃It　hath　do　me　mochil　woe。〃
〃Yea　hath　it？　　Use；〃　quod　he；　〃this　medicine；
　Every　daie　this　Maie　or　that　thou　dine；
　Go　lokin　in　upon　the　freshe　daisie；
　And　though　thou　be　for　woe　in　poinct　to　die；
　That　shall　full　gretly　lessen　thee　of　thy　pine。〃
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　CHAUCER。


That　night　Norman　started　from；　what　was　not　so　much　sleep；　as　a
trance　of　oppression　and　suffering；　and　beheld　his　father's　face
watching　him　attentively。

〃Papa！　　What's　the　matter？〃　said　he；　starting　up。　　〃Is　any　one　ill？〃

〃No；　no　one；　lie　down　again；〃　said　Dr。　May；　possessing　himself　of　a
hand；　with　a　burning　spot　in　the　palm；　and　a　throbbing　pulse。

〃But　what　made　you　come　here？　　Have　I　disturbed　any　one？　　Have　I　been
talking？〃

〃Only　mumbling　a　little；　but　you　looked　very　uncomfortable。〃

〃But　I'm　not　illwhat　are　you　feeling　my　pulse　for？〃　said　Norman
uneasily。

〃To　see　whether　that　restless　sleep　has　quickened　it。〃

Norman　scarcely　let　his　father　count　for　a　moment；　before　he　asked；
〃What　o'clock　is　it？〃

〃A　little　after　twelve。〃

〃What　does　make　you　stay　up　so　late；　papa？〃

〃I　often　do　when　my　arm　seems　likely　to　keep　me　awake。　　Richard　has
done　all　I　want。〃

〃Pray　don't　stay　here　in　the　cold；〃　sa