the daisy chain, or aspirations-第26章

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〃I　often　do　when　my　arm　seems　likely　to　keep　me　awake。　　Richard　has
done　all　I　want。〃

〃Pray　don't　stay　here　in　the　cold；〃　said　Norman；　with　feverish
impatience；　as　he　turned　upwards　the　cool　side　of　his　pillow。
〃Good…night！〃

〃No　hurry；〃　said　his　father；　still　watching　him。

〃There's　nothing　the　matter；〃　repeated　the　boy。

〃Do　you　often　have　such　unquiet　nights？〃

〃Oh；　it　does　not　signify。　　Good…night；〃　and　he　tried　to　look　settled
and　comfortable。

〃Norman；〃　said　his　father；　in　a　voice　betraying　much　grief；　〃it　will
not　do　to　go　on　in　this　way。　　If　your　mother　was　here；　you　would　not
close　yourself　against　her。〃

Norman　interrupted　him　in　a　voice　strangled　with　sobs：　〃It　is　no　good
saying　itI　thought　it　would　only　make　it　worse　for　you；　but　that's
it。　　I　cannot　bear　the　being　without　her。〃

Dr。　May　was　glad　to　see　that　a　gush　of　tears　followed　this
exclamation；　as　Norman　hid　his　face　under　the　coverings。

〃My　poor　boy；〃　said　he；　hardly　able　to　speak；　〃only　One　can　comfort
you　truly；　but　you　must　not　turn　from　me；　you　must　let　me　do　what　I
can　for　you；　though　it　is　not　the　same。〃

〃I　thought　it　would　grieve　you　more；〃　said　Norman；　turning　his　face
towards　him　again。

〃What；　to　find　my　children；　feeling　with　me；　and　knowing　what　they
have　lost？　　Surely　not；　Norman。〃

〃And　it　is　of　no　use；〃　added　Norman；　hiding　his　face　again；　〃no　one
can　comfort〃

〃There　you　are　wrong；〃　said　Dr。　May；　with　deep　feeling；　〃there　is
much　comfort　in　everything；　in　everybody；　in　kindness；　in　all　around；
if　one　can　only　open　one's　mind　to　it。　　But　I　did　not　come　to　keep
you　awake　with　such　talk：　I　saw　you　were　not　quite　well；　so　I　came　up
to　see　about　you；　and　now；　Norman；　you　will　not　refuse　to　own　that
something　is　the　matter。〃

〃I　did　not　know　it；〃　said　Norman；　〃I　really　believe　I　am　well；　if　I
could　get　rid　of　these　horrible　nights。　　I　either　lie　awake；　tumbling
and　tossing；　or　I　get　all　sorts　of　unbearable　dreams。〃

〃Ay；　when　I　asked　master　Harry　about　you；　all　the　answer　I　could　get
was；　that　he　was　quite　used　to　it；　and　did　not　mind　it　at　all。　　As　if
I　asked　for　his　sake！　　How　fast　that　boy　sleepshe　is　fit　for　a
midshipman's　berth！〃

〃But　do　you　think　there　is　anything　amiss　with　me？〃

〃I　shall　know　more　about　that　to…morrow　morning。　　Come　to　my　room　as
soon　as　you　are　up；　unless　I　come　to　you。　　Now；　I　have　something　to
read　before　I　go　to　bed；　and　I　may　as　well　try　if　it　will　put　you　to
sleep。〃

Norman's　last　sight　that　night　was　of　the　outline　of　his　father's
profile；　and　he　was　scarcely　awake　the　next　morning　before　Dr。　May
was　there　again。

Unwilling　as　he　had　been　to　give　way；　it　was　a　relief　to　relinquish
the　struggle　to　think　himself　well；　and　to　venture　to　lounge　and
dawdle；　rest　his　heavy　head；　and　stretch　his　inert　limbs　without　fear
of　remark。　　His　father　found　him　after　breakfast　lying　on　the　sofa　in
the　drawing…room　with　a　Greek　play　by　his　side；　telling　Ethel　what
words　to　look　out。

〃At　it　again！〃　exclaimed　Dr。　May。　　〃Carry　it　away；　Ethel。　　I　will
have　no　Latin　or　Greek　touched　these　holidays。〃

〃You　know；〃　said　Norman；　〃if　I　don't　sap；　I　shall　have　no　chance　of
keeping　up。〃

〃You'll　keep　nowhere　if　you　don't　rest。〃

〃It　is　only　Euripides；　and　I　can't　do　anything　else；〃　said　Norman
languidly。

〃Very　likely；　I　don't　care。　　You　have　to　get　well　first　of　all；　and
the　Greek　will　take　care　of　itself。　　Go　up　to　Margaret。　　I　put　you　in
her　keeping；　while　I　am　gone　to　Whitford。　　After　that；　I　dare　say
Richard　will　be　very　glad　to　have　a　holiday；　and　let　you　drive　me　to
Abbotstoke。〃

Norman　rose；　and　wearily　walked　upstairs；　while　his　sister　lingered
to　excuse　herself。　　〃Papa；　I　did　not　think　Euripides　would　hurt　him
he　knows　it　all　so　well；　and　he　said　he　could　not　read　anything
else。〃

〃Just　so；　Ethel。　　Poor　fellow；　he　has　not　spirits　or　energy　for
anything：　his　mind　was　forced　into　those　classicalities　when　it
wanted　rest；　and　now　it　has　not　spring　enough　to　turn　back　again。〃

〃Do　you　think　him　so　very　ill？〃

〃Not　exactly；　but　there's　low　fever　hanging　about　him；　and　we　must
look　after　him　well；　and　I　hope　we　may　get　him　right。　　I　have　told
Margaret　about　him；　I　can't　stop　any　longer　now。〃

Norman　found　the　baby　in　his　sister's　room；　and　this　was　just　what
suited　him。　　The　Daisy　showed　a　marked　preference　for　her　brothers；
and　to　find　her　so　merry　and　good　with　him；　pleased　and　flattered　him
far　more　than　his　victory　at　school。　　He　carried　her　about；　danced
her；　whistled　to　her；　and　made　her　admire　her　pretty　blue　eyes　in　the
glass　more　successfully；　till　nurse　carried　her　off。　　But　perhaps　he
had　been　sent　up　rather　too　soon；　for　as　he　sat　in　the　great　chair　by
the　fire；　he　was　teased　by　the　constant　coming　and　going；　all　the
petty　cares　of　a　large　household　transacted　by　Margaretorders　to
butcher　and　cookHarry　racing　in　to　ask　to　take　Tom　to　the　river
Tom；　who　was　to　go　when　his　lesson　was　done；　coming　perpetually　to
try　to　repeat　the　same　unhappy　bit　of　'As　in　Proesenti'；　each　time　in
a　worse　whine。

〃How　can　you　bear　it；　Margaret？〃　said　Norman；　as　she　finally
dismissed　Tom；　and　laid　down　her　account…book；　taking　up　some
delicate　fancy　work。　　〃Mercy；　here's　another；〃　as　enter　a　message
about　lamp　oil；　in　the　midst　of　which　Mary　burst　in　to　beg　Margaret
to　get　Miss　Winter　to　let　her　go　to　the　river　with　Harry　and　Tom。

〃No；　indeed；　Mary；　I　could　not　think　of　such　a　thing。　　You　had　better
go　back　to　your　lessons；　and　don't　be　silly；〃　as　she　looked　much
disposed　to　cry。

〃No　one　but　a　Tom…boy　would　dream　of　it；〃　added　Norman；　and　Mary
departed　disconsolate；　while　Margaret　gave　a　sigh　of　weariness；　and
said；　as　she　returned　to　her　work；　〃There；　I　believe　I　have　done。
I　hope　I　was　not　cross　with　poor　Mary；　but　it　was　rather　too　much　to
ask。〃

〃I　can't　think　how　you　can　help　being　cross　to　every　one；〃　said
Norman；　as　he　took　away　the　books　she　had　done　with。

〃I　am　afraid　I　am；〃　said　Margaret　sadly。　　〃It　does　get　trying　at
times。〃

〃I　should　think　so！　　This　eternal　worrying　must　be　more　than　any　one
can　bear；　always　lying　there　too。〃

〃It　is　only　now　and　then　that　it　grows　tiresome；〃　said　Margaret。
〃I　am　too　happy　to　be　of　some　use；　and　it　is　too　bad　to　repine；　but
sometimes　a　feeling　comes　of　its　being　always　the　same；　as　if　a
little　change　would　be　such　a　treat。〃

〃Aren't　you　very　tired　of　lying　in　bed？〃

〃Yes；　very；　sometimes。　　I　fancy；　but　it　is　only　fancy；　that　I　could
move　better　if　I　was　up　and　dressed。　　It　has　seemed　more　so　lately；
since　I　have　been　stronger。〃

〃When　do　you　think　they　will　let　you　get　up？〃

〃There's　the　question。　　I　believe　papa　thinks　I　might　be　lifted　to
the　sofa　nowand　oh！　how　I　long　for　itbut　then　Mr。　Ward　does　not
approve　of　my　sitting　up；　even　as　I　am　doing　now；　and　wants　to　keep
me　flat。　　Papa　thinks　that　of　no　use；　and　likely　to　hurt　my　general
health；　and　I　believe　the　end　of　it　will　be　that　he　will　ask　Sir
Matthew　Fleet's　opinion。〃

〃Is　that　the　man　he　calls　Mat？〃

〃Yes；　you　know　they　went　through　the　university　together；　and　were　at
Edinburgh　and　Paris；　but　they　have　never　met　since　he　set　up　in
London；　and　grew　so　famous。　　I　believe　it　would　be　a　great　treat　to
papa　to　have　him；　and　it　would　be　a　good　thing　for　papa　too；　I　don't
think　his　arm　is　going　on　righthe　does　not　trust　to　Mr。　Ward's
treatment；　and　I　am　sure　some　one　else　ought　to　see　it。〃

〃Did　you　know；　Margaret；　that　he　sits　up　quite　late；　because　he
cannot　sleep　for　it？〃

〃Yes；　I　hear　him　moving　about；　but　don't　tell　him　so；　I　would　not
have　him　guess　for　the　world；　that　it　kept　me　awake。〃

〃And　does　it？〃

〃Why；　if　I　think　he　is　awake　and　in　pain　I　cannot　settle　myself　to
sleep；　but　that　is　no　matter；　having　no　exercise；　of　course　I　don't
sleep　so　much。　　But　I　am　very　anxious　about　himhe　looks　so　thin；
and　gets　so　faggedand　no　wonder。〃

〃Ah！　　Mr。　Everard　told　me　he　was　quite　shocked　to　see　him；　and　would
hardly　have　known　him；〃　and　Norman　groaned　from　the　bottom　of　his
heart。

〃Well；　I　shall　hope　much　from　Sir　Matthew's　taking　him　in　hand；〃　said
Margaret　cheerfully；　〃he　will　mind　him；　though　he　will　not　Mr。　Ward。〃

〃I　wish　the　holidays　were　over！〃　said　Norman；　with　a　yawn；　as
expressive　as　a　sigh。

〃That's　not　civil；　on　the　third　day；〃　said　Margaret；　smiling；　〃when
I　am　so　glad　to　have　you　to　look　after　me；　so　as　to　set　Flora　at
liberty。〃

〃What；　can　I　do　you　any　good？〃　said　Norman；　with　a　shade　of　his
former　alacrity。

〃To　be　sure　you　can；　a　great　deal。　　Better　not　come　near　me
otherwise；　for　I　make　every　one　into　a　slave。　　I　want　my　morning
reading　nowthat　book　on　Advent；　there。〃

〃Shall　I　read　it　to　you？〃

〃Thank　you；　that's　nice；　and　I　shall　get　on　with　baby's　frock。〃

Norman　read；　but；　ere　long；　took　to　yawning；　Margaret　begged　for　the
book；　which　he　willingly　resigned；　saying；　however；　that　he　liked　it；
only　he　was　stupid。　　She　read　on　aloud；　till　she　heard　a　succession
of　heavy　breathings；　and　saw　him　fast　asleep；　and　so　he　continued
till　waked　by　his　father's　coming　home。

Richard　and　Ethel　were　glad　of　a　walk；　for　Margaret　had　found　them　a
pleasant　errand。　　Their　Cocksmoor　children　could　not　go　home　to
dinner　between　service　and　afternoon　school；　and　Margaret　had　desired
the　cook　to　serve　them　up　some　broth　in　the　back　kitchen；　to　which
the　brother　and　sister　were　now　to　invite　them。　　Mary　was　allowed　to
take　her　boots　to　Rebekah　Watts；　since　Margaret　held　that　goodness
had　better　be　profitable；　at　least　at　the　outset；　and　Harry　and　Tom
joined　the　party。

Norman；　meantime；　was　driving　his　fathera　holiday　preferment　highly
valued　in　the　days　when　Dr。　May　used　only　to　assume　the　reins；　when
his　spirited　horses　showed　too　much　consciousness　that　they　had　a
young　hand　over　them；　or　when　the　old　hack　took　a　fit　of　laziness。
Now；　Norman　needed　Richard's　assurance　that　the　bay　was　steady；　so
far　was　he　from　being　troubled　with　his　ancient　desire；　that　the
steed　would　rear　right　up　on　his　hind　legs。

He　could　neither　talk　nor　listen　till　he　was　clear　out　of　the　town；
and　found　himself　master　of　the　animal；　and　even　then　the　words　were
few；　and　chiefly　spoken　by　Dr。　May；　until　after　going　along　about
three　miles　of　the　turnpike　road；　he　desired　Norman　to　turn　down　a
cross…country　lane。

〃Where　does　this　lead？〃

〃It　comes　out　at　Abbotstoke；　but　I　have　to　go　to　an　outlying　farm。〃

〃Papa；〃　said　Norman；　after　a　few　minutes；　〃I　wish　you　would　let　me　do
my　Greek。〃

〃Is　that　what　you　have　been　pondering　all　this　time？　　What；　may　not
the　bonus　Homerus　slumber　sometimes？〃

〃It　is　not　Homer；　it　is　Euripides。　　I　do　assure　you；　papa；　it　is　no
trouble；　and　I　get　much　worse　without　it。〃

〃Well；　stop　here；　the　road　grows　so　bad　that　we　will　walk；　and　let
the　boy　lead　the　horse　to　meet　us　at　Woodcote。〃

Norman　followed　his　father　down　a　steep　narrow　lane；　little　better
than　a　stony　water…course；　and　began　to　repeat；　〃If　you　would　but　let
me　do　my　work！　　I've　got　nothing　else　to　do；　and　now　they　have　put　me
up；　I　should　not　like　not　to　keep　my　place。〃

〃Very　likely；　buthollohow　swelled　this　is！〃　said　Dr。　May；　as　they
came　to　the　bottom　of　the　valley；　where　a　stream　rushed　along；
coloured　with　a　turbid　creamy　yellow