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the daisy chain, or aspirations-第28章

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find himself; a tall schoolboy; watched and soothed with motherly
tenderness and affection; with complete comprehension of his
feelings; and delicate care of them。  His father's solicitude and
sympathy were round him day and night; and this; in the midst of so
much toil; pain; grief; and anxiety of his own; that Norman might
well feel overwhelmed with the swelling; inexpressible feelings of
grateful affection。

How could his father know exactly what he would likesay the very
things he was thinkingsee that his depression was not wilful
repiningfind exactly what best soothed him!  He wondered; but he
could not have said so to any one; only his eye brightened; and; as
his sisters remarked; he never seemed half so uncomfortable when papa
was in the room。  Indeed; the certainty that his father felt the
sorrow as acutely as himself; was one reason of his opening to him。
He could not feel that his brothers and sisters did so; for;
outwardly; their habits were unaltered; their spirits not lowered;
their relish for things around much the same as before; and this had
given Norman a sense of isolation。  With his father it was different。
Norman knew he could never appreciate what the bereavement was to
himhe saw its traces in almost every word and look; and yet
perceived that something sustained and consoled him; though not in
the way of forgetfulness。  Now and then Norman caught at what gave
this comfort; and it might be hoped he would do so increasingly;
though; on this Christmas Day; Margaret felt very sad about him; as
she watched him sitting over the fire; cowering with chilliness and
headache; while every one was gone to church; and saw that the
reading of the service with her had been more of a trouble than a
solace。

She tried to think it bodily ailment; and strove hard not to pine for
her mother; to comfort them both; and say the fond words of
refreshing cheering pity that would have made all light to bear。
Margaret's home Christmas was so spent in caring for brother; father;
and children; that she had hardly time to dwell on the sad change
that had befallen herself。

Christmas was a season that none of them knew well how to meet:
Blanche was overheard saying to Mary that she wished it would not
come; and Mary; shaking her head; and answering that she was afraid
that was naughty; but it was very tiresome to have no fun。  Margaret
did her best upstairs; and Richard downstairs; by the help of prints
and hymns; to make the children think of the true joy of Christmas;
and in the evening their father gathered them round; and told them
the stories of the Shepherds and of the Wise Men; till Mary and
Blanche agreed; as they went up to bed; that it had been a very happy
evening。

The next day Harry discomfited the schoolroom by bursting in with the
news that 〃Louisa and Fanny Anderson were bearing down on the front
door。〃  Ethel and Flora were obliged to appear in the drawing…room;
where they were greeted by two girls; rather older than themselves。
A whole shower of inquiries for Dr。 May; for Margaret; and for the
dear little baby; were first poured out; then came hopes that Norman
was well; as they had not seen him at church yesterday。

〃Thank you; he was kept at home by a bad headache; but it is better
to…day。〃

〃We came to congratulate you on his successwe could not help it
it must have been such a pleasure to you。〃

〃That it was!〃 exclaimed Ethel; pleased at participation in her
rejoicing。  〃We were so surprised。〃

Flora gave a glance of warning; but Ethel's short…sighted eyes were
beyond the range of correspondence; and Miss Anderson continued。  〃It
must have been a delightful surprise。  We could hardly believe it
when Harvey came in and told us。  Every one thought Forder was sure;
but they all were put out by the questions of general information
those were all Mr。 Everard's doing。〃

〃Mr。 Everard was very much struck with Norman's knowledge and
scholarship too;〃 said Flora。

〃So every one says。  It was all Mr。 Everard's doing。  Miss Harrison
told mamma; but; for my part; I am very glad for the sake of
Stoneborough; I like a town boy to be at the head。〃

〃Norman was sorry for Forder and Cheviot;〃 began Ethel。  Flora tried
to stop her; but Louisa Anderson caught at what she said; and looked
eagerly for more。  〃He felt;〃 said she; only thinking of exalting her
generous brother; 〃as if it was hardly right; when they are so much
his seniors; that he could scarcely enjoy it。〃

〃Ah! that is just what people say;〃 replied Louisa。  〃But it must be
very gratifying to you; and it makes him certain of the Randal
scholarship too; I suppose。  It is a great thing for him!  He must
have worked very hard。〃

〃Yes; that he has;〃 said Flora; 〃he is so fond of study; and that
goes halfway。〃

〃So is dear Harvey。  How earnest he is over his books!  Mamma
sometimes says; 'Now Harvey; dear; you'll be quite stupified; you'll
be ill; I really shall get Dr。 May to forbid you。'  I suppose Norman
is very busy too; it is quite the fashion for boys not to be idle
now。〃

〃Poor Norman can't help it;〃 said Ethel piteously。  〃Papa will not
hear of his doing any Latin or Greek these whole holidays。〃

〃He thinks he will come to it better again for entire rest;〃 said
Flora; launching another look at her sister; which again fell short。

A great deal of polite inquiry whether they were uneasy about him
followed; mixed with a little boasting of dear Harvey's diligence。

〃By…the…bye; Ethel; it is you that are the great patroness of the
wild Cocksmoor childrenare not you?〃

Ethel coloured; and mumbled; and Flora answered for her; 〃Richard and
Ethel have been there once or twice。  You know our under nursery…maid
is a Cocksmoor girl。〃

〃Well; mamma said she could not think how Miss May could take one
from thence。  The whole place is full of thieves; and do you know;
Bessie Boulder has lost her gold pencil…case。〃

〃Has she?〃 said Flora。

〃And she had it on Sunday when she was teaching her class。〃

〃Oh!〃 cried Ethel vehemently; 〃surely she does not suspect any of
those poor children!〃

〃I only know such a thing never happened at school before;〃 said
Fanny; 〃and I shall never take anything valuable there again。〃

〃But is she sure she lost it at school?〃

〃Oh; yes; quite certain。  She will not accuse any one; but it is not
comfortable。  And how those children do behave at church!〃

〃Poor things! they have been sadly neglected;〃 said Flora。

〃They are quite spoiling the rest; and they are such figures!  Why
don't you; at least; make them cut their hair?  You know it is the
rule of the school。〃

〃I know; but half the girls in the first class wear it long。〃

〃Oh; yes; but those are the superior people; that one would not be
strict with; and they dress it so nicely too。  Now these are like
little savages。〃

〃Richard thinks it might drive them away to insist at first;〃 said
Ethel; 〃we will try to bring it about in time。〃

〃Well; Mrs。 Ledwich is nearly resolved to insist; so you had better
be warned; Ethel。  She cannot suffer such untidiness and rags to
spoil the appearance of the school; and; I assure you; it is quite
unpleasant to the teachers。〃

〃I wish they would give them all to me!〃 said Ethel。  〃But I do hope
Mrs。 Ledwich will have patience with them; for they are only to be
gained gently。〃

The visitors took their leave; and the two sisters began exclaiming
Ethel at their dislike of her proteges; and Flora at what they had
said of Norman。  〃And you; Ethel; how could you go and tell them we
were surprised; and Norman thought it was hard on the other boys?
They'll have it all over the town that he got it unjustly; and knows
it; as they say already it was partiality of Mr。 Everard's。〃

〃Oh; no; no; they never can be so bad!〃 cried Ethel; 〃they must have
understood better that it was his noble humility and generosity。〃

〃They understand anything noble!  No; indeed!  They think every one
like their own beautiful brother!  I knew what they came for all the
time; they wanted to know whether Norman was able to work these
holidays; and you told them the very thing they wanted to hear。  How
they will rejoice with that Harvey; and make sure of the Randall!〃

〃Oh; no; no!〃 cried Ethel; 〃Norman must get that!〃

〃I don't think he will;〃 said Flora; 〃losing all this time; while
they are working。  It cannot be helped; of course; but it is a great
pity。〃

〃I almost wish he had not been put up at all; if it is to end in this
way;〃 said Ethel。  〃It is very provoking; and to have them triumphing
as they will!  There's no bearing it!〃

〃Norman; certainly; is not at all well; poor fellow;〃 said Flora;
〃and I suppose he wants rest; but I wish papa would let him do what
he can。  It would be much better for him than moping about as he is
always doing now; and the disappointment of losing his place will be
grievous; though now he fancies he does not care for it。〃

〃I wonder when he will ever care for anything again。  All I read and
tell him only seems to tease him; though he tries to thank me。〃

〃There is a strange apathy about him;〃 said Flora; 〃but I believe it
is chiefly for want of exertion。  I should like to rouse him if papa
would let me; I know I could; by telling him how these Andersons are
reckoning on his getting down。  If he does; I shall be ready to run
away; that I may never meet any one here again。〃

Ethel was very unhappy till she was able to pour all this trouble out
to Margaret; and worked herself almost into crying about Norman's
being passed by 〃that Harvey;〃 and his sisters exulting; and papa
being vexed; and Norman losing time and not caring。

〃There you are wrong;〃 said Margaret; 〃Norman did care very much; and
it was not till he had seen clearly that it was a matter of duty to
do as papa thought right; and not agitate his mind about his chances
of keeping up; that he could bear to give up his work;〃 and she told
Ethel a little of what had passed。

Ethel was much struck。  〃But oh; Margaret; it is very hard; just to
have him put up for the sake of being put down; and pleasing the
Andersons!〃

〃Dear Ethel; why should you mind so much about the Andersons?  May
they not care about their brother as we do for ours?〃

〃Such a brother to care about!〃 said Ethel。

〃But I suppose they may like him the best;〃 said Margaret; smiling。

〃I suppose they do;〃 said Ethel grudgingly; 〃but still I cannot bear
to see Norman doing nothing; and I know Harvey Anderson will beat
him。〃

〃Surely you had rather he did nothing than made himself ill!〃

〃To be sure; but I wish it wasn't so。〃

〃Yes; but; Ethel; whose doing is his getting into this state?〃

Ethel looked grave。  〃It was wrong of me;〃 said she; 〃but then papa
is not sure that Greek would hurt him。〃

〃Not sure; but he thinks it not wise to run the risk。  But; Ethel;
dear; why are you so bent on his being dux at all costs?〃

〃It would be horrid if he was not。〃

〃Don't you remember you used to say that outward praise or honour was
not to be cared for as long as one did one's duty; and that it might
be a temptation?〃

〃Yes; I know I did;〃 said Ethel; faltering; 〃but that was for
oneself。〃

〃It is harder; I think; to feel so about tho

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