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第44章

the daisy chain, or aspirations-第44章

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〃Suppose;〃 Ethel had once said to him; 〃that when you are a
clergyman; you could be Curate of Cocksmoor; when there is a church
there。〃

〃When?〃 said Richard; smiling at the presumption of the scheme; and
yet it formed itself into a sort of definite hope。  Perhaps they
might persuade Mr。 Ramsden to take him as a curate with a view to
Cocksmoor; and this prospect; vague as it was; gave an object and
hope to his studies。  Every one thought the delay of his examination
favourable to him; and he now read with a determination to succeed。
Dr。 May had offered to let him read with Mr。 Harrison but Richard
thought he was getting on pretty well; with the help Norman gave him;
for it appeared that ever since Norman's return from London;; he had
been assisting Richard; who was not above being taught by a younger
brother; while; on the other hand; Norman; much struck by his
humility; would not for the world have published that he was fit to
act as his elder's tutor。

One evening; when the two boys came in from school; Tom gave a great
start; and; pulling Mary by the sleeve; whispered; 〃How came that
book here?〃

〃It is Mr。 Harrison's。〃

〃Yes; I know; but how came it here?〃

〃Richard borrowed it to look out something; and Ethel brought it
down。〃

A little reassured; Tom took up an exciting story…book; and ensconced
himself by the fire; but his agonies were great during the ensuing
conversation。

〃Norman;〃 Ethel was exclaiming in delight; 〃do you know this book?〃

〃Smith?  Yes; it is in the school library。〃

〃There's everything in it that one wants; I do believe。  Here is such
an account of ancient galleysI never knew how they managed their
banks of rowers beforeoh! and the Greek houseslook at the
pictures too。〃

〃Some of them are the same as Mr。 Rivers's gems;〃 said Norman;
standing behind her; and turning the leaves; in search of a
favourite。

〃Oh! what did I see? is that ink?〃 said Flora; from the opposite side
of the table。

〃Yes; didn't you hear?〃 said Ethel。  〃Mr。 Harrison told Ritchie when
he borrowed it; that unluckily one day this spring he left it in
school; and some of the boys must have upset an inkstand over it;
but; though he asked them all round; each denied it。  How I should
hate for such things to happen! and it was a prize…book too。〃

While Ethel spoke she opened the marked page; to show the extent of
the calamity; and as she did so Mary exclaimed; 〃Dear me! how funny!
why; how did Harry's blotting…paper get in there?〃

Tom shrank into nothing; set his teeth; and pinched his fingers;
ready to wish they were on Mary's throat; more especially as the
words made some sensation。  Richard and Margaret exchanged looks; and
their father; who had been reading; sharply raised his eyes and said;
〃Harry's blotting…paper!  How do you know that; Mary?〃

〃It is Harry's;〃 said she; all unconscious; 〃because of that anchor
up in one corner; and the Union Jack in the other。  Don't you see;
Ethel?〃

〃Yes;〃 said Ethel; 〃nobody drew that but Harry。〃

〃Ay; and there are his buttons;〃 said Mary; much amused and delighted
with these relics of her beloved Harry。  〃Don't you remember one day
last holidays; papa desired Harry to write and ask Mr。 Ernescliffe
what clothes he ought to have for the naval school; and all the time
he was writing the letter; he was drawing sailors' buttons on his
blotting…paper。  I wonder how ever it got into Mr。 Harrison's book!〃

Poor Mary's honest wits did not jump to a conclusion quite so fast as
other people's; and she little knew what she was doing when; as a
great discovery; she exclaimed; 〃I know!  Harry gave his paper…case
to Tom。  That's the way it got to school!〃

〃Tom!〃 exclaimed his father; suddenly and angrily; 〃where are you
going?〃

〃To bed;〃 muttered the miserable Tom; twisting his hands。  A dead
silence of consternation fell on all the room。  Mary gazed from one
to the other; mystified at the effect of her words; frightened at her
father's loud voice; and at Tom's trembling confusion。  The stillness
lasted for some moments; and was first broken by Flora; as if she had
caught at a probability。  〃Some one might have used the first
blotting…paper that came to hand。〃

〃Come here; Tom;〃 said the doctor; in a voice not loud; but trembling
with anxiety; then laying his hand on his shoulder; 〃Look in my
face。〃  Tom hung his head; and his father put his hand under his
chin; and raised the pale terrified face。  〃Don't be afraid to tell
us the meaning of this。  If any of your friends have done it; we will
keep your secret。  Look up; and speak out。  How did your blotting…
paper come there?〃

Tom had been attempting his former system of silent sullenness; but
there was anger at Mary; and fear of his father to agitate him; and
in his impatient despair at thus being held and questioned; he burst
out into a violent fit of crying。

〃I can't have you roaring here to distress Margaret;〃 said Dr。 May。
〃Come into the study with me。〃

But Tom; who seemed fairly out of himself; would not stir; and a
screaming and kicking scene took place; before he was carried into
the study by his brothers; and there left with his father。  Mary;
meantime; dreadfully alarmed; and perceiving that; in some way; she
was the cause; had thrown herself upon Margaret; sobbing
inconsolably; as she begged to know what was the matter; and why papa
was angry with Tomhad she made him so?

Margaret caressed and soothed her to the best of her ability; trying
to persuade her that; if Tom had done wrong; it was better for him it
should be known; and assuring her that no one could think her unkind;
nor a tell…tale; then dismissing her to bed; and Mary was not
unwilling to go; for she could not bear to meet Tom again; only
begging in a whisper to Ethel; 〃that; if dear Tom had not done it;
she would come and tell her。〃

〃I am afraid there is no hope of that!〃 sighed Ethel; as the door
closed on Mary。

〃After all;〃 said Flora; 〃he has not said anything。  If he has only
done it; and not confessed; that is not so badit is only the usual
fashion of boys。〃

〃Has he been asked?  Did he deny it?〃 said Ethel; looking in Norman's
face; as if she hardly ventured to put the question; and she only
received sorrowful signs as answers。  At the same moment Dr。 May
called him。  No one spoke。  Margaret rested her head on the sofa; and
looked very mournful; Richard stood by the fire without moving limb
or feature; Flora worked fast; and Ethel leaned back on an arm…chair;
biting the end of a paper…knife。

The doctor and Norman came back together。  〃I have sent him up to
bed;〃 said Dr。 May。  〃I must take him to Harrison to…morrow morning。
It is a terrible business!〃

〃Has he confessed it?〃 said Margaret。

〃I can hardly call such a thing a confessionI wormed it out bit by
bitI could not tell whether he was telling truth or not; till I
called Norman in。〃

〃But he has not said anything more untrue〃

〃Yes; he has though!〃 said Dr。 May indignantly。  〃He said Ned
Anderson put the paper there; and had been taking up the ink with it…
…'twas his doingthen when I came to cross…examine him I found that
though Anderson did take up the ink; it was Tom himself who knocked
it downI never heard anything like itI never could have believed
it!〃

〃It must all be Ned Anderson's doing!〃 cried Flora。  〃They are enough
to spoil anybody。〃

〃I am afraid they have done him a great deal of harm;〃 said Norman。

〃And what have you been about all the time?〃 exclaimed the doctor;
too keenly grieved to be just。  〃I should have thought that with you
at the head of the school; the child might have been kept out of
mischief; but there have you been going your own way; and leaving him
to be ruined by the very worst set of boys!〃

Norman's colour rose with the extreme pain this unjust accusation
caused him; and his voice; though low; was not without irritation; 〃I
have tried。  I have not done as much as I ought; perhaps; but〃

〃No; I think not; indeed!〃 interrupted his father。  〃Sending a boy
there; brought up as he had been; without the least tendency to
deceit〃

Here no one could see Norman's burning cheeks; and brow bent
downwards in the effort to keep back an indignant reply; without
bursting out in exculpation; and Richard looked up; while the three
sisters all at once began; 〃Oh; no; no; papa〃and left Margaret to
finish〃Poor little Tom had not always been quite sincere。〃

〃Indeed! and why was I left to send him to school without knowing it?
The place of all others to foster deceit。〃

〃It was my fault; papa;〃 said Margaret。

〃And mine;〃 put in Richard; and she continued; 〃Ethel told us we were
very wrong; and I wish we had followed her advice。  It was by far the
best; but we were afraid of vexing you。〃

〃Every one seems to have been combined to hide what they ought not!〃
said Dr。 May; though speaking to her much more softly than to Norman;
to whom he turned angrily again。  〃Pray; how came you not to identify
this paper?〃

〃I did not know it;〃 said Norman; speaking with difficulty。  〃He
ought never to have been sent to school;〃 said the doctor〃that
tendency was the very worst beginning。〃

〃It was a great pity; I was very wrong;〃 said Margaret; in great
concern。

〃I did not mean to blame you; my dear;〃 said her father
affectionately。  〃I know you only meant to act for the best; but
〃and he put his hand over his face; and then came the sighing groan;
which pained Margaret ten thousand times more than reproaches; and
which; in an instant; dispersed all the indignation burning within
Norman; though the pain remained at his father's thinking him guilty
of neglect; but he did not like; at that moment; to speak in self…
justification。

After a short space; Dr。 May desired to hear what were the deceptions
to which Margaret had alluded; and made Norman tell what he knew of
the affair of the blotted book。  Ethel spoke hopefully when she had
heard it。  〃Well; do you know; I think be will do better now。  You
see; Edward made him conceal it; and he has been going on with it on
his mind; and in that boy's power ever since; but now it is cleared
up and confessed; he will begin afresh and do better。  Don't you
think so; Norman? don't you; papa?〃

〃I should have more hope if I had seen anything like confession or
repentance;〃 said Dr。 May; 〃but that provoked me more than allI
could only perceive that he was sorry to be found out; and afraid of
punishment。〃

〃Perhaps; when he has recovered the first fright; he will come to his
better self;〃 said Margaret; for she guessed; what indeed was the
case; that the doctor's anger on this first shock of the discovery of
the fault he most abhorred had been so great; that a fearful cowering
spirit would be completely overwhelmed; and; as there had been no
sorrow shown for the fault; there had been none of that softening and
relenting that won so much love and confidence。

Every one felt that talking only made them more unhappy; they tried
to return to their occupations; and so passed the time till night。
Then; as Richard was carrying Margaret upstairs; Norman lingered to
say; 〃Papa; I am very sorry you should think I neglected Tom。  I dare
say I might have done better for him; 

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