the daisy chain, or aspirations-第64章

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letter　of　hers　showed　me　what　a　comfort　it　would　be　to　papa　to　have
her　here。〃

〃Perhaps　she　will　come。〃

〃No；　Uncle　Arnott　has　too　much　to　do。　　It　was　a　pretty　story
altogether。　　He　was　an　officer　at　Edinburgh；　and　fell　in　love　with
Aunt　Flora；　but　my　grandfather　Mackenzie　thought　him　too　poor　to
marry　her；　and　it　was　all　broken　off；　and　they　tried　to　think　no　more
of　it。　　But　grandpapa　died；　and　she　came　to　live　here；　and　somehow
Mr。　Arnott　turned　up　again；　quartered　at　Whitford；　and　papa　talked
over　my　Uncle　Mackenzie；　and　helped　themand　Mr。　Arnott　thought　the
best　way　would　be　to　go　out　to　the　colonies。　　They　went　when　New
Zealand　was　very　new；　and　a　very　funny　life　they　had！　　Once　they　had
their　house　burned　in　Heki's　rebellionand　Aunt　Flora　saw　a　Maori
walking　about　in　her　best　Sunday　bonnet；　but；　in　general；　everything
has　gone　on　very　well；　and　he　has　a　great　farm；　besides　an　office
under　government。〃

〃Oh；　so　he　went　out　as　a　settler！　　I　was　in　hopes　it　was　as　a
missionary。〃

〃I　fancy　Aunt　Flora　has　done　a　good　deal　that　may　be　called
missionary　work；〃　said　Ethel；　〃teaching　the　Maori　women　and　girls。
They　call　her　mother；　and　she　has　quite　a　doctor's　shop　for　them；　and
tries　hard　to　teach　them　to　take　proper　care　of　their　poor　little
children　when　they　are　ill；　and　she　cuts　out　clothes　for　the　whole
pah；　that　is；　the　village。〃

〃And　are　they　Christians？〃

〃Oh！　to　be　sure　they　are　now！　　They　meet　in　the　pah　for　prayers　every
morning　and　eveningthey　used　to　have　a　hoe　struck　against　a　bit　of
metal　for　a　signal；　and　when　papa　heard　of　it；　he　gave　them　a　bell；
and　they　were　so　delighted。　　Now　there　comes　a　clergyman　every　fourth
Sunday；　and；　on　the　others；　Uncle　Arnott　reads　part　of　the　service　to
the　English　near；　and　the　Maori　teacher　to　his　people。〃

Meta　asked　ravenously　for　more　details；　and　when　she　had　pretty　well
exhausted　Ethel's　stock；　she　said；　〃How　nice　it　must　be！　　Ethel；　did
you　ever　read　the　'Faithful　Little　Girl？'〃

〃Yes；　it　was　one　of　Margaret's　old　Sunday　books。　　I　often　recollected
it　before　I　was　allowed　to　begin　Cocksmoor。〃

〃I'm　afraid　I　am　very　like　Lucilla！〃　said　Meta。

〃What？　　In　wishing　to　be　a　boy；　that　you　might　be　a　missionary？〃　said
Ethel。　　〃Not　in　being　quite　so　cross　at　home？〃　she　added；　laughing。

〃I　am　not　cross；　because　I　have　no　opportunity；〃　said　Meta。

〃No　opportunity。　　Oh；　Meta；　if　people　wish　to　be　cross；　it　is　easy
enough　to　find　grounds　for　it。　　There　is　always　the　moon　to　cry　for。〃

〃Really　and　truly；〃　said　Meta　thoughtfully；　〃I　never　do　meet　with　any
reasonable　trial　of　temper；　and　I　am　often　afraid　it　cannot　be　right
or　safe　to　live　so　entirely　at　ease；　and　without　contradictions。〃

〃Well；　but；〃　said　Ethel；　〃it　is　the　state　of　life　in　which　you　are
placed。〃

〃Yes；　but　are　we　meant　never　to　have　vexations？〃

〃I　thought　you　had　them；〃　said　Ethel。　　〃Margaret　told　me　about　your
maid。　　That　would　have　worried　some　people；　and　made　them　horridly
cross。〃

〃Oh；　no　rational　person；〃　cried　Meta。　　〃It　was　so　nice　to　think　of
her　being　with　the　poor　mother；　and　I　was　quite　interested　in
managing　for　myself；　besides；　you　know；　it　was　just　a　proof　how　one
learns　to　be　selfish；　that　it　had　never　occurred　to　me　that　I　ought
to　spare　her。〃

〃And　your　school　childrenyou　were　in　some　trouble　about　them？〃

〃Oh；　that　is　pleasure。〃

〃I　thought　you　had　a　class　you　did　not　like？〃

〃I　like　them　nowthey　are　such　steady　plodding　girls；　so　much　in
earnest；　and　one；　that　has　been　neglected；　is　so　pleased　and　touched
by　kindness。　　I　would　not　give　them　up　for　anything　nowthey　are
just　fit　for　my　capacity。〃

〃Do　you　mean　that　nothing　ever　goes　wrong　with　you；　or　that　you　do
not　mind　anythingwhich？〃

〃Nothing　goes　wrong　enough　with　me　to　give　me　a　handsome　excuse　for
minding　it。〃

〃Then　it　must　be　all　your　good　temper。〃

〃I　don't　think　so；〃　said　Meta；　〃it　is　that　nothing　is　ever
disagreeable　to　me。〃

〃Stay；〃　said　Ethel；　〃if　the　ill…temper　was　in　you；　you　would　only　be
the　crosser　for　being　indulgedat　least；　so　books　say。　　And　I　am
sure　myself　that　it　is　not　whether　things　are　disagreeable　or　not；
but　whether　one's　will　is　with　them；　that　signifies。〃

〃I　don't　quite　understand。〃

〃WhyI　have　seen　the　boys　do　for　play；　and　done　myself；　what　would
have　been　a　horrid　hardship　if　one　had　been　made　to　do　it。　　I　never
liked　any　lessons　as　well　as　those　I　did　without　being　obliged；　and
always；　when　there　is　a　thing　I　hate　very　much　in　itself；　I　can　get
up　an　interest　in　it；　by　resolving　that　I　will　do　it　well；　or　fast；
or　somethingif　I　can　stick　my　will　to　it；　it　is　like　a　lever；　and
it　is　done。　　Now；　I　think　it　must　be　the　same　with　you；　only　your
will　is　more　easily　set　at　it　than　mine。〃

〃What　makes　me　uncomfortable　is；　that　I　feel　as　if　I　never　followed
anything　but　my　will。〃

Ethel　screwed　up　her　face；　as　if　the　eyes　of　her　mind　were　pursuing
some　thought　almost　beyond　her。　　〃If　our　will　and　our　duty　run　the
same；〃　she　said；　〃that　can't　be　wrong。　　The　better　people　are；　the
more　they　'love　what　He　commands；'　you　know。　　In　heaven　they　have　no
will　but　His。〃

〃Oh！　but　Ethel；〃　cried　Meta；　distressed；　〃that　is　putting　it　too
high。　　Won't　you　understand　what　I　mean？　　We　have　learned　so　much
lately　about　self…denial；　and　crossing　one's　own　inclinations；　and
enduring　hardness。　　And　here　I　live　with　two　dear　kind　people；　who
only　try　to　keep　every　little　annoyance　from　my　path。　　I　can't　wish
for　a　thing　without　getting　itI　am　waited　on　all　day　long；　and　I
feel　like　one　of　the　women　that　are　at　easeone　of　the　careless
daughters。〃

〃I　think　still　papa　would　say　it　was　your　happy　contented　temper　that
made　you　find　no　vexation。〃

〃But　that　sort　of　temper　is　not　goodness。　　I　was　born　with　it；　I
never　did　mind　anything；　not　even　being　punished；　they　say；　unless　I
knew　papa　was　grieved；　which　always　did　make　me　unhappy　enough。　　I
laughed；　and　went　to　play　most　saucily；　whatever　they　did　to　me。　　If
I　had　striven　for　the　temper；　it　would　be　worth　having；　but　it　is　my
nature。　　And　Ethel；〃　she　added；　in　a　low　voice；　as　the　tears　came
into　her　eyes；　〃don't　you　remember　last　Sunday？　　I　felt　myself　so
vain　and　petted　a　thing！　as　if　I　had　no　share　in　the　Cup　of
suffering；　and　did　not　deserve　to　call　myself　a　memberit　seemed
ungrateful。〃

Ethel　felt　ashamed；　as　she　heard　of　warmer　feelings　than　her　own　had
been；　expressed　in　that　lowered　trembling　voice；　and　she　sought　for
the　answer　that　would　only　come　to　her　mind　in　sense；　not　at　first　in
words。　　〃Discipline；〃　said　she；　〃would　not　that　show　the　willingness
to　have　the　part？　　Taking　the　right　times　for　refusing　oneself　some
pleasant　thing。〃

〃Would　not　that　be　only　making　up　something　for　oneself？〃　said　Meta。

〃No；　the　Church　orders　it。　　It　is　in　the　Prayer…book；〃　said　Ethel。
〃I　mean　one　can　do　little　secret　thingsnot　read　storybooks　on　those
days；　or　keep　some　tiresome　sort　of　work　for　them。　　It　is　very
trumpery；　but　it　keeps　the　remembrance；　and　it　is　not　so　much　as　if
one　did　not　heed。〃

〃I'll　think；〃　said　Meta；　sighing。　　〃If　only　I　felt　myself　at　work；
not　to　please　myself；　but　to　be　of　use。　　Ha！〃　she　cried；　springing
up；　〃I　do　believe　I　see　Dr。　May　coming！〃

〃Let　us　run　and　meet　him；〃　said　Ethel。

They　did　so；　and　he　called　out　his　wishes　of　many　happy　returns　of
blithe　days　to　the　little　birthday　queen；　then　added；　〃You　both　look
grave；　thoughhave　they　deserted　you？〃

〃No；　papa；　we　have　been　having　a　talk；〃　said　Ethel。　　〃May　I　tell　him；
Meta？　　I　want　to　know　what　he　says。〃

Meta　had　not　bargained　for　this；　but　she　was　very　much　in　earnest；
and　there　was　nothing　formidable　in　Dr。　May；　so　she　assented。

〃Meta　is　longing　to　be　at　workshe　thinks　she　is　of　no　use；〃　said
Ethel；　〃she　says　she　never　does　anything　but　please　herself。〃

〃Pleasing　oneself　is　not　the　same　as　trying　to　please　oneself；〃　said
Dr。　May　kindly。

〃And　she　thinks　it　cannot　be　safe　or　right；〃　added　Ethel；　〃to　live
that　happy　bright　life；　as　if　people　without　care　or　trouble　could
not　be　living　as　Christians　are　meant　to　live。　　Is　that　it；　Meta？〃

〃Yes；　I　think　it　is；〃　said　Meta。　　〃I　seem　to　be　only　put　here　to　be
made　much　of！〃

〃What　did　David　say；　Meta？〃　returned　Dr。　May。


　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃My　Shepherd　is　the　living　Lord；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Nothing　therefore　I　need；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　In　pastures　fair；　near　pleasant　streams；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　He　setteth　me　to　feed。〃


〃Then　you　think；〃　said　Meta；　much　touched；　〃that　I　ought　to　look　on
this　as　'the　pastures　fair；'　and　be　thankful。　　I　hope　I　was　not
unthankful。〃

〃Oh；　no；〃　said　Ethel。　　〃It　was　the　wish　to　bear　hardness；　and　be　a
good　soldier；　was　it　not？〃

〃Ah！　my　dear；〃　he　said；　〃the　rugged　path　and　dark　valley　will　come　in
His　own　fit　time。　　Depend　upon　it；　the　good　Shepherd　is　giving　you
what　is　best　for　you　in　the　green　meadow；　and　if　you　lay　hold　on　His
rod　and　staff　in　your　sunny　days〃　He　stopped　short；　and　turned　to
his　daughter。　　〃Ethel；　they　sang　that　psalm　the　first　Sunday　I
brought　your　mamma　home！〃

Meta　was　much　affected；　and　began　to　put　together　what　the　father　and
daughter　had　said。　　Perhaps　the　little　modes　of　secret　discipline；　of
which　Ethel　had　spoken；　might　be　the　true　means　of　clasping　the
staffperhaps　she　had　been　impatient；　and　wanting　in　humility　in
craving　for　the　strife；　when　her　armour　was　scarce　put　on。

Dr。　May　spoke　once　again。　　〃Don't　let　any　one　long　for　external
trial。　　The　offering　of　a　free　heart　is　the　thing。　　To　offer　praise
is　the　great　object　of　all　creatures　in　heaven　and　earth。　　If　the
happier　we　are；　the　more　we　praise；　then　all　is　well。〃

But　the　serious　discussion　was　suddenly　broken　off。

Others　had　seen　Dr。　May's　approach；　and　Harry　and　Mary　rushed　down　in
dismay　at　their　story　having；　as　they　thought；　been　forestalled。
However；　they　had　it　all　to　themselves；　and　the　doctor　took　up　the
subject　as　keenly　as　could　have　been　hoped；　but　the　poor　boy　being
still　fast　asleep；　after；　probably；　much　fatigue；　he　would　not　then
waken　him　to　examine　him；　but　came　and　sat　down　in　the　semicircle；
formed　by　a　terraced　bank　of　soft　turf；　where　Mrs。　Larpent；　Mrs。
Wilmot；　Richard；　and　Flora；　had　for　some　time　taken　up　their　abode。
Meta　brought　him　the　choice　little　basket　of　fruit　which　she　had
saved　for　him；　and　all　delighted　in　having　him　there；　evidently
enjoying　the　rest　and　sport　very　much；　as　he　reposed　on　the　fragrant
slope；　eating　grapes；　and　making　inquiries　as　to　the　antiquities
lately　discovered。

Norman　gave　an　exceedingly　droll　account　of　the　great　Roman　Emperor；
Tiberius　V。V。；　and　Meta　correcting　it；　there　was　a　regular　gay
skirmish　of　words；　which　entertained　every　one　extremelyabove　all；
Meta's　indignation　when　the　charge　was　brought　home　to　her　of　having
declared　the　〃old　Duke〃　exactly　like　in　turns　to　Domitian　and
Tiberiushis　features　quite　forbidding。

This　lasted　till　the　younger　ones；　who　had　been　playing　and　rioting
till　they　were　tired；　came　up；　and　throwing　themselves　down　on　the
grass；　Blanche　petitioned　for　something　that　every　one　could　play　at。

Meta　proposed　what　she　called　the　story　play。　　One　was　to　be　sent　out
of　earshot；　and　the　rest　to　agree　upon　a　word；　which　was　then　to　be
guessed　b