the daisy chain, or aspirations-第69章

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conscience；　anxious　to　do　right；　and　desirous　to　yield　to　the　opinion
that　nobody　could；　or　would　give。　　While　Alan　begged　for　a　positive
engagement；　Margaret　scrupled　to　exchange　promises　that　she　might
never　be　able　to　fulfil；　and　both　agreed　to　leave　all　to　her　father；
who；　in　every　way；　ought　to　have　the　best　ability　to　judge　whether
there　was　unreasonable　presumption　in　such　a　betrothal；　but　this　very
ability　only　served　to　perplex　the　poor　doctor　more　and　more。　　It　is
far　easier　for　a　man　to　decide　when　he　sees　only　one　bearing　of　a
case；　than　when；　like　Dr。　May；　he　not　only　sees　them；　but　is　rent　by
them　in　his　inmost　heart。　　Sympathising　in　turn　with　each　lover；
bitterly　accusing　his　own　carelessness　as　the　cause　of　all　their
troubles；　his　doubts　contending　with　his　hopes；　his　conviction
clashing　with　Sir　Matthew　Fleet's　opinion；　his　conscientious
sincerity　and　delicacy　conflicting　with　his　affection　and　eagerness；
he　was　perfectly　incapable　of　coming　to　a　decision；　and　suffered　so
cruelly；　that　Margaret　was　doubly　distressed　for　his　sake；　and　Alan
felt　himself　guilty　of　having　rendered　everybody　miserable。

Dr。　May　could　not　conceal　his　trouble；　and　rendered　Ethel　almost　as
unhappy　as　himself；　after　each　conversation　with　her；　though　her
hopes　usually　sprang　up　again；　and　she　had　a　happy　conviction　that
this　was　only　the　second　volume　of　the　novel。　　Flora　was　not　often
called　into　his　councils；　confidence　never　came　spontaneously　from
Dr。　May　to　her；　there　was　something　that　did　not　draw　it　forth
towards　her；　whether　it　resided　in　that　half…sarcastic　corner　of　her
steady　blue　eye；　or　in　the　grave　common…sense　of　her　gentle　voice。
Her　view　of　the　case　was　known　to　be　that　there　was　no　need　for　so
much　perplexitywhy　should　not　Alan　be　the　best　judge　of　his　own
happiness？　　If　Margaret　were　to　be　delicate　for　life；　it　would　be
better　to　have　such　a　home　to　look　to；　and　she　soothed　and　comforted
Margaret；　and　talked　in　a　strain　of　unmixed　hope　and　anticipation
that　often　drew　a　smile　from　her　sister；　though　she　feared　to　trust
to　it。

Flora's　tact　and　consideration　in　keeping　the　children　away　when　the
lovers　could　best　be　alone；　and　letting　them　in　when　the　discussion
was　becoming　useless　and　harassing；　her　cheerful　smiles；　her　evening
music　that　covered　all　sounds；　her　removal　of　all　extra　annoyances；
were　invaluable；　and　Margaret　appreciated　them；　as；　indeed；　Flora
took　care　that　she　should。

Margaret　begged　to　know　her　eldest　brother's　judgment；　but　had　great
difficulty　in　dragging　it　out。　　Diffidently　as　it　was　proposed；　it
was　clear　and　decided。　　He　thought　that　his　father　had　better　send
Sir　Matthew　Fleet　a　statement　of　Margaret's　present　condition；　and
abide　by　his　answer　as　to　whether　her　progress　warranted　the　hope　of
her　restoration。

Never　was　Richard　more　surprised　than　by　the　gratitude　with　which　his
suggestion　was　hailed；　simple　as　it　was；　so　that　it　seemed　obvious
that　others　should　have　already　thought　of　it。　　After　the　tossings　of
uncertainty；　it　was　a　positive　relief　to　refer　the　question　to　some
external　voice；　and　only　Ethel　and　Norman　expressed　strong　dislike　to
Sir　Matthew　becoming　the　arbiter　of　Margaret's　fate；　and　were
scarcely　pacified　by　Dr。　May's　assurance　that　he　had　not　revealed　the
occasion　of　his　inquiry。　　The　letter　was　sent；　and　repose　returned；
but　hearts　beat　high　on　the　morning　when　the　answer　was　expected。

Dr。　May　watched　the　moment　when　his　daughter　was　alone；　carried　the
letter　to　her；　and　kissing　her；　said；　with　an　oppressed　voice；　〃I
give　you　joy；　my　dear。〃

She　read　with　suspended　breath　and　palpitating　heart。　　Sir　Matthew
thought　her　improvement　sure；　though　slow；　and　had　barely　a　doubt
that；　in　a　year；　she　would　have　regained　her　full　strength　and
activity。

〃You　will　show　it　to　Alan；〃　said　Dr。　May；　as　Margaret　lifted　her　eyes
to　his　face　inquiringly。

〃Will　not　you？〃　she　said。

〃I　cannot；〃　he　answered。　　〃I　wish　I　was　more　helpful　to　you；　my
child；〃　he　added　wistfully；　〃but　you　will　rest　on　him；　and　be　happy
together　while　he　stays；　will　you　not？〃

〃Indeed　I　will；　dear　papa。〃

Mr。　Ernescliffe　was　with　her　as　the　doctor　quitted　her。　　She　held　the
letter　to　him；　〃But；〃　she　said　slowly；　〃I　see　that　papa　does　not
believe　it。〃

〃You　promised　to　abide　by　it！〃　he　exclaimed；　between　entreaty　and
authority。

〃I　do；　if　you　choose　so　to　risk　your　hopes。〃

〃But；〃　cried　he；　as　he　glanced　hastily　over　the　letter；　〃there　can　be
no　doubt！　　These　words　are　as　certain　as　language　can　make　them。　　Why
will　you　not　trust　them？〃

〃I　see　that　papa　does　not。〃

〃Despondency　and　self…reproach　made　him　morbidly　anxious。　　Believe
so；　my　Margaret！　　You　know　he　is　no　surgeon！〃

〃His　education　included　that　line；〃　said　Margaret。　　〃I　believe　he　has
all　but　the　manual　dexterity。　　However；　I　would　fain　have　faith　in
Sir　Matthew；〃　she　added；　smiling；　〃and　perhaps　I　am　only　swayed　by
the　habit　of　thinking　that　papa　must　know　best。〃

〃He　does　in　indifferent　cases；　but　it　is　an　old　axiom；　that　a　medical
man　should　not　prescribe　for　his　own　family；　above　all；　in　such　a
case；　where　it　is　but　reasonable　to　believe　an　unprejudiced　stranger；
who　alone　is　cool　enough　to　be　relied　on。　　I　absolutely　depend　on
him！〃

Margaret　absolutely　depended　on　the　bright　cheerful　look　of
conviction。　　〃Yes；〃　she　said；　〃we　will　try　to　make　papa　take　pleasure
in　the　prospect。　　Perhaps　I　could　do　more　if　I　made　the　attempt。〃

〃I　am　sure　you　could；　if　you　would　let　me　give　you　more　support。　　If
I　were　but　going　to　remain　with　you！〃

〃Don't　let　us　be　discontented；〃　said　Margaret；　smiling；　〃when　so　much
more　has　been　granted　than　I　dare　to　hope。　　Be　it　as　it　may；　let　us
be　happy　in　what　we　have。〃

〃It　makes　you　happy？〃　said　he；　archly　reading　her　face　to　draw　out
the　avowal；　but　he　only　made　her　hide　it；　with　a　mute　caress　of　the
hand　that　held　hers。　　She　was　glad　enough　to　rest　in　the　present；　now
that　everything　concurred　to　satisfy　her　conscience　in　so　doing；　and
come　what　might；　the　days　now　spent　together　would　be　a　possession　of
joy　for　ever。

Captain　Gordon　contrived　to　afford　his　lieutenant　another　fortnight's
leave；　perhaps　because　he　was　in　dread　of　losing　him　altogether；　for
Alan　had　some　doubts；　and　many　longings　to　remain。　　Had　it　been
possible　to　marry　at　once；　he　would　have　quitted　the　navy
immediately；　and　he　would　have　given　worlds　to　linger　beside
Margaret's　couch；　and　claim　her　the　first　moment　possible；　believing
his　care　more　availing　than　all。　　He　was；　however；　so　pledged　to
Captain　Gordon；　that；　without　strong　cause；　he　would　not　have　been
justified　in　withdrawing；　besides；　Harry　was　under　his　charge；　and
Dr。　May　and　Margaret　both　thought；　with　the　captain；　that　an　active
life　would　be　a　better　occupation　for　him　than　watching　her。　　He
would　never　be　able　to　settle　down　at　his　new　home　comfortably
without　her；　and　he　would　be　more　in　the　way　of　duty　while　pursuing
his　profession；　so　Margaret　nerved　herself　against　using　her
influence　to　detain　him；　and　he　thanked　her　for　it。

Though　hope　and　affection　could　not　an　once　repair　an　injured　spine；
they　had　wonderful　powers　in　inciting　Margaret　to　new　efforts。　　Alan
was　as　tender　and　ready　of　hand　as　Richard；　and　more　clever　and
enterprising；　and　her　unfailing　trust　in　him　prevented　all　alarms　and
misgivings；　so　that　wonders　were　effected；　and　her　father　beheld　her
standing　with　so　little　support；　looking　so　healthful　and　so　blithe；
that　his　forebodings　melted　away；　and　he　talked　joyously　of　the
future。

The　great　achievement　was　taking　her　round　the　garden。　　She　could　not
bear　the　motion　of　wheels；　but　Alan　adopted　the　hammock　principle；
and；　with　the　aid　of　Richard　and　his　crony；　the　carpenter；　produced　a
machine　in　which　no　other　power　on　earth　could　have　prevailed　on　her
to　trust　herself；　but　in　which　she　was　carried　round　the　garden　so
successfully；　that　there　was　even　a　talk　of　next　Sunday；　and　of　the
Minster。

It　was　safely　accomplished；　and　tired　as　she　was；　Margaret　felt；　as
she　whispered　to　Alan；　that　he　had　now　crowned　all　the　joy　that　he
had　brought　to　her。

Ethel　used　to　watch　them；　and　think　how　beautiful　their　countenances
were；　and　talk　them　over　with　her　father；　who　was　quite　happy　about
them　now。　　She　gave　assistance；　which　Alan　never　once　called　unhandy；
to　all　his　contrivances；　and　often　floundered　in　upon　his　conferences
with　Margaret；　in　a　way　that　would　have　been　very　provoking；　if　she
had　not　always　blushed　and　looked　so　excessively　discomfited；　and
they　had　only　to　laugh　and　reassure　her。

Alan　was　struck　by　finding　that　the　casual　words　spoken　on　the　way
from　Cocksmoor　had　been　so　strenuously　acted　on；　and　he　brought　on
himself　a　whole　torrent　of　Ethel's　confused　narratives；　which　Richard
and　Flora　would　fain　have　checked；　but　Margaret　let　them　continue；　as
she　saw　him　a　willing　listener；　and　was　grateful　to　him　for
comprehending　the　ardent　girl。

He　declared　himself　to　have　a　share　in　the　matter；　reminding　Ethel　of
her　appeal　to　him　to　bind　himself　to　the　service　of　Cocksmoor。　　He
sent　a　sovereign　at　once；　to　aid　in　a　case　of　the　sudden　death　of　a
pig；　and　when　securely　established　in　his　brotherly　right；　he　begged
Ethel　to　let　him　know　what　would　help　her　most。　　She　stood　colouring；
twisting　her　hands；　and　wondering　what　to　say；　whereupon　he　relieved
her　by　a　proposal　to　leave　an　order　for　ten　pounds；　to　be　yearly　paid
into　her　hands；　as　a　fixed　income　for　her　school。

A　thousand　a　year　could　hardly　have　been　so　much　to　Ethel。　　〃Thank
you！　　Oh；　this　is　charming！　　We　could　set　up　a　regular　school！
Cherry　Elwood　is　the　very　woman！　　Alan；　you　have　made　our　fortune！
Oh；　Margaret；　Margaret！　　I　must　go　and　tell　Ritchie　and　Mary！　　This
is　the　first　real　step　to　our　church　and　all！〃

〃May　I　do　it？〃　said　Alan；　turning　to　Margaret；　as　Ethel　frantically
burst　out　of　the　room；　〃perhaps　I　should　have　asked　leave？〃

〃I　was　going　to　thank　you；〃　said　Margaret。　　〃It　is　the　very　kindest
thing　you　could　have　done　by　dear　Ethel！　the　greatest　comfort　to　us。
She　will　be　at　peace　now；　when　anything　hinders　her　from　going　to
Cocksmoor。〃

〃I　wonder；〃　said　Alan；　musing；　〃whether　we　shall　ever　be　able　to　help
her　more　substantially。　　I　cannot　do　anything　hastily；　for　you　know
Maplewood　is　still　in　the　hands　of　the　executors；　and　I　cannot　tell
what　claims　there　may　be　upon　me；　but　by…and…by；　when　I　return；　if　I
find　no　other　pressing　duty；　might　not　a　church　at　Cocksmoor　be　a
thankoffering　for　all　I　have　found　here？〃

〃Oh；　Alan；　what　joy　it　would　be！〃

〃It　is　a　long　way　off；〃　he　said　sadly；　〃and　perhaps　her　force　of
perseverance　will　have　prevailed　alone。〃

〃I　suppose　I　must　not　tell　her；　even　as　a　vision。〃

〃It　is　too　uncertain；　I　do　not　know　the　wants　of　the　Maplewood
people；　and　I　must　provide　for　Hector。　　I　would　not　let　these　vague
dreams　interfere　with　her　resolute　work；　but；　Margaret；　what　a　vision
it　is！　　I　can　see　you　laying　the　first　stone　on　that　fine　heathy
brow。〃

〃Oh；　your　godchild　should　lay　the　first　stone！〃

〃She　shall；　and　you　shall　lead　her。　　And　there　shall　be　Ethel's　sharp
face　full　of　indescribable　things　as　she　marshals　her　children；　and
Richard　shall