the daisy chain, or aspirations-第72章
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〃And; to tell the truth;〃 said the doctor; lingering; 〃for my own
part; I don't care a rush for it!〃 and he dashed off to his work;
while Ethel stood laughing。
〃Papa was so very kind;〃 said Norman tremulously; when Ethel followed
him to his room; to congratulate him on having gained his father's
assent; of which he had been more in doubt than she。
〃And you see he quite approves of the scheme for Tom; except for
thinking it disrespect to Bishop Whichcote。 He said he only hoped
Tom was worthy of it。〃
〃Tom!〃 cried Norman。 〃Take my word for it; Ethel; Tom will surprise
you all。 He will beat us all to nothing; I know!〃
〃If only he can be cured of〃
〃He will;〃 said Norman; 〃when once he has outgrown his frights; and
that he may do at Mr。 Wilmot's; apart from those fellows。 When I go
up for this scholarship; you must look after his lessons; and see if
you are not surprised at his construing!〃
〃When you go。 It will be in a month!〃
〃He has told no one; I hope。〃
〃No; but I hardly think he will bear not telling Margaret。〃
〃WellI hate a thing being out of one's own keeping。 I should not
so much dislike Margaret's knowing; but I won't have Flora knowmind
that; Ethel;〃 he said; with disproportionate vehemence。
〃I only hope Flora will not be vexed。 But oh; dear! how nice
it will be when you have it; telling Meta Rivers; and all!〃
〃And this is a fine way of getting it; standing talking here。 Not
that I shallyou little know what public schools can do! But that
is no reason against trying。〃
〃Good…night; then。 Only one thing more。 You mean that; till further
orders; Margaret should not know?〃
〃Of course;〃 said Norman impatiently。 〃She won't take any of Flora's
silly affronts; and; what is more; she would not care half so much as
before Alan Ernescliffe came。〃
〃Oh; Norman; Norman! I'm sure〃
〃Why; it is what they always say。 Everybody can't be first; and
Ernescliffe has the biggest half of her; I can see。〃
〃I am sure I did not;〃 said Ethel; in a mortified voice。〃
〃Why; of course; it always comes of people having lovers。〃
〃Then I am sure I won't!〃 exclaimed Ethel。
Norman went into a fit of laughing。
〃You may laugh; Norman; but I will never let papa or any of you be
second to any one!〃 she cried vehemently。
A brotherly home…truth followed: 〃Nobody asked you; sir; she said!〃
was muttered by Norman; still laughing heartily。
〃I know;〃 said Ethel; not in the least offended; 〃I am very ugly; and
very awkward; but I don't care。 There never can be anybody in all
the world that I shall like half as well as papa; and I am glad no
one is ever likely to make me care less for him and Cocksmoor。〃
〃Stay till you are tried;〃 said Norman。
Ethel squeezed up her eyes; curled up her nose; showed her teeth in a
horrible grimace; and made a sort of snarl: 〃Yah! That's the face I
shall make at them!〃 and then; with another good…night; ran to her
own room。
Norman was; to a certain extent; right with regard to Margarether
thoughts and interest had been chiefly engrossed by Alan Ernescliffe;
and so far drawn away from her own family; that when the Alcestis was
absolutely gone beyond all reach of letters for the present; Margaret
could not help feeling somewhat of a void; and as if the home
concerns were not so entire an occupation for her mind as formerly。
She would fain have thrown herself into them again; but she became
conscious that there was a difference。 She was still the object of
her father's intense tenderness and solicitude; indeed she could not
be otherwise; but it came over her sometimes that she was less
necessary to him than in the first year。 He was not conscious of any
change; and; indeed; it hardly amounted to a change; and yet
Margaret; lying inactive and thoughtful; began to observe that the
fullness of his confidence was passing to Ethel。 Now and then it
would appear that he fancied he had told Margaret little matters;
when he had really told them to Ethel; and it was Ethel who would
linger with him in the drawing…room after the others had gone up at
night; or who would be late at the morning's reading; and disarm Miss
Winter; by pleading that papa had been talking to her。 The secret
they shared together was; of course; the origin of much of this; but
also Ethel was now more entirely the doctor's own than Margaret could
be after her engagement; and there was a likeness of mind between the
father and daughter that could not but develop more in this year;
than in all Ethel's life; when she had made the most rapid progress。
Perhaps; too; the doctor looked on Margaret rather as the authority
and mistress of his house; while Ethel was more of a playfellow; and
thus; without either having the least suspicion that the one sister
was taking the place of the other; and without any actual neglect of
Margaret; Ethel was his chief companion。
〃How excited and anxious Norman looks!〃 said Margaret; one day; when
he had rushed in at the dinner…hour; asking for his father; and; when
he could not find him; shouting out for Ethel。 〃I hope there is
nothing amiss。 He has looked thin and worn for some time; and yet
his work at school is very easy to him。〃
〃I wish there maybe nothing wrong there again;〃 said Flora。 〃There!
there's the front door banging! He is off! Ethel!〃 stepping to
the door; and calling in her sister; who came from the street door;
her hair blowing about with the wind。 〃What did Norman want?〃
〃Only to know whether papa had left a note for Dr。 Hoxton;〃 said
Ethel; looking very confused and very merry。
〃That was not all;〃 said Flora。 〃Now don't be absurd; EthelI hate
mysteries。〃
〃Last time I had a secret you would not believe it;〃 said Ethel;
laughing。
〃Come!〃 exclaimed Flora; 〃why cannot you tell us at once what is
going on?〃
〃Because I was desired not;〃 said Ethel。 〃You will hear it soon
enough;〃 and she capered a little。
〃Let her alone; Flora;〃 said Margaret。 〃I see there is nothing
wrong。〃
〃If she is desired to be silent; there is nothing to be said;〃
replied Flora; sitting down again; while Ethel ran away to guard her
secret。
〃Absurd!〃 muttered Flora。 〃I cannot imagine why Ethel is always
making mysteries!〃
〃She cannot help other people having confidence in her;〃 said
Margaret gently。
〃She need not be so important; then;〃 said Flora〃always having
private conferences with papa! I do not think it is at all fair on
the rest。〃
〃Ethel is a very superior person;〃 said Margaret; with half a sigh。
Flora might toss her head; but she attempted no denial in words。
〃And;〃 continued Margaret; 〃if papa does find her his best companion
and friend we ought to be glad of it。〃
〃I do not call it just;〃 said Flora。
〃I do not think it can be helped;〃 said Margaret: 〃the best must be
preferred。
〃As to that; Ethel is often very ridiculous and silly。〃
〃She is improving every day; and you know dear mamma always thought
her the finest character amongst us。〃
〃Then you are ready to be left out; and have your third sister always
put before you?〃
〃No; Flora; that is not the case。 Neither she nor papa would ever be
unfair; but; as she would say herself; what they can't help; they
can't help; and; as she grows older; she must surpass me more and
more。〃
〃And you like it? 〃
〃I like itwhenwhen I think of papa; and of his dear; noble Ethel。
I do like it; when I am not selfish。〃
Margaret turned away her head; but presently looked up again。
〃Only; Flora;〃 she said; 〃pray do not say one word of this; on any
account; to Ethel。 She is so happy with papa; and I would not for
anything have her think I feel neglected; or had any jealousy。〃
〃Ah;〃 thought Flora; 〃you can give up sweetly; but you have Alan to
fall back upon。 Now I; who certainly have the best right; and a
great deal more practical sense〃
Flora took Margaret's advice; and did not reproach Ethel; for a
little reflection convinced her that she should make a silly figure
in so doing; and she did not like altercations。
It was the same evening that Norman came in from school with his
hands full of papers; and; with one voice; his father and Ethel
exclaimed; 〃You have them?〃
〃Yes;〃 and he gave the letter to his father; while Blanche; who had a
very inquisitive pair of eyes; began to read from a paper he placed
on the table。
〃'Norman Walter; son of Richard and Margaret May; High Street; Doctor
of Medicine; December 21st; 18。 Thomas Ramsden。'〃
〃What is that for; Norman?〃 and; as he did not attend; she called
Mary to share her speculations; and spell out the words。
〃Ha!〃 cried Dr。 May; 〃this is capital! The old doctor seems not to
know how to say enough for you。 Have you read it?〃
〃No; he only told me he had said something in my favour; and wished
me all success。〃
〃Success!〃 cried Mary。 〃Oh; Norman; you are not going to sea too?〃
〃No; no!〃 interposed Blanche knowingly〃 he is going to be married。
I heard nurse wish her brother success when he was going to marry the
washerwoman with a red face。〃
〃No;〃 said Mary; 〃people never are married till they are twenty。〃
〃But I tell you;〃 persisted Blanche; 〃people always write like this;
in a great book in church; when they are married。 I know; for we
always go into church with Lucy and nurse when there is a wedding。〃
〃Well; Norman; I wish you success with the bride you are to court;〃
said Dr。 May; much diverted with the young ladies' conjectures。
〃But is it really?〃 said Mary; making her eyes as round as full
moons。
〃Is it really?〃 repeated Blanche。 〃Oh; dear! is Norman going to be
married? I wish it was to be Meta Rivers; for then I could always
ride her dear little white pony。〃
〃Tell them;〃 whispered Norman; a good deal out of countenance; as he
leaned over Ethel; and quitted the room。
Ethel cried; 〃Now then!〃 and looked at her father; while Blanche and
Mary reiterated inquiriesmarriage; and going to sea; being the only
events that; in their imagination; the world could furnish。 Going to
try for a Balliol scholarship! It was a sad falling off; even if
they understood what it meant。 The doctor's explanations to Margaret
had a tone of apology for having kept her in ignorance; and Flora
said few words; but felt herself injured; she had nearly gone to Mrs。
Hoxton that afternoon; and how strange it would have been if anything
had been said to her of her own brother's projects; when she was in
ignorance。
Ethel slipped away to her brother; who was in his own room;
surrounded with books; flushed and anxious; and trying to glance over
each subject on which he felt himself weak。
〃I shall fail! I know I shall!〃 was his exclamation。 〃I wish I had
never thought of it!〃
〃What? did Dr。 Hoxton think you not likely to succeed?〃 cried Ethel;
in consternation。
〃Oh! he said I was certain; but what is that? We Stoneborough men
only compare ourselves with each other。 I shall break down to a
certainty; and my father will be disappointed。〃
〃You will do your best?〃
〃I don't know that。 My best will all go away when it comes to the
point。〃
〃Surely not。 It did not go away last time you were examined; and why
should it now?〃
〃I tell you; Ethel; you know nothing