the daisy chain, or aspirations-第97章

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him；　and；　in　their　subsequent　tete…a…tetes；　she　avoided　all　that
could　lead　to　a　renewal　of　this　conversation。　　Ethel　would　not　have
rested　till　it　had　been　fought　out。　　Meta　thought　it　so　imaginary；
that　it　had　better　die　for　want　of　the　aliment　of　words；　certainly；
hers　could　not　reach　an　intellect　like　his；　and　she　would　only　soothe
and　amuse　him。　　Dr。　May；　mind…curer　as　well　as　body…curer；　would　soon
be　here；　to　put　the　climax　to　the　general　joy　and　watch　his　own　son。

He　did　arrive；　quite　prepared　to　enjoy；　giving　an　excellent　account
of　both　homes；　Mr。　Rivers　very　well；　and　the　Wilmots　taking　care　of
him；　and　Margaret　as　comfortable　as　usual；　Mary　making　a　most
important　and　capable　little　housekeeper；　Miss　Bracy　as　good　as
possible。　　He　talked　as　if　they　had　all　nourished　the　better　for
Ethel's　absence；　but　he　had　evidently　missed　her　greatly；　as　he
showed；　without　knowing　it；　by　his　instant　eagerness　to　have　her　to
himself。　　Even　Norman；　prizeman　as　he　was；　was　less　wanted。　　There
was　proud　affection；　eager　congratulation；　for　him；　but　it　was　Ethel
to　whom　he　wanted　to　tell　everything　that　had　passed　during　her
absencewhom　he　treated　as　if　they　were　meeting　after　a　tedious
separation。

They　dined　rather　early；　and　went　out　afterwards；　to　walk　down　the
High　Street　to　Christchurch　Meadow。　　Norman　and　Ethel　had　been
anxious　for　this；　they　thought　it　would　give　their　father　the　best
idea　of　the　tout　ensemble　of　Oxford；　and　were　not　without　hopes　of
beating　him　by　his　own　confession；　in　that　standing　fight　between　him
and　his　sons；　as　to　the　beauties　of　Oxford　and　Cambridgea　fight　in
which；　hitherto；　they　had　been　equally　matchedneither　partisan
having　seen　the　rival　University。

Flora　stayed　at　home；　she　owned　herself　fairly　tired　by　her　arduous
duties　of　following　the　two　young　ladies　about；　and　was　very　glad　to
give　her　father　the　keeping　of　them。　　Dr。　May　held　out　his　arm　to
EthelNorman　secured　his　peculiar　property。　　Ethel　could　have
preferred　that　it　should　be　otherwiseNorman　would　have　no　companion
but　George　Rivers；　how　bored　he　would　be！

All　through　the　streets；　while　she　was　telling　her　father　the　names
of　the　buildings；　she　was　not　giving　her　whole　attention；　she　was
trying　to　guess；　from　the　sounds　behind；　whether　Mr。　Ogilvie　were
accompanying　them。　　They　entered　the　meadowsNorman　turned　round；
with　a　laugh；　to　defy　the　doctor　to　talk　of　the　Cam；　on　the　banks　of
the　Isis。　　The　party　stood　stillthe　other　two　gentlemen　came　up。
They　amalgamated　againall　the　Oxonians　conspiring　to　say　spiteful
things　of　the　Cam；　and　Dr。　May　making　a　spirited　defence；　in　which
Ethel　found　herself　impelled　to　join。

In　the　wide　gravelled　path；　they　proceeded　in　threes；　George　attached
himself　to　his　sister　and　Norman。　　Mr。　Ogilvie　came　to　Ethel's　other
side；　and　began　to　point　out　all　the　various　notabilities。　　Ethel　was
happy　again；　her　father　was　so　much　pleased　and　amused；　with　him；　and
he　with　her　father；　that　it　was　a　treat　to　look　on。

Presently　Dr。　May；　as　usual；　always　meeting　with　acquaintances；　fell
in　with　a　county　neighbour；　and　Ethel　had　another　pleasant　aside；
until　her　father　claimed　her；　and　Mr。　Ogilvie　was　absorbed　among
another　party；　and　lost　to　her　sight。

He　came　to　tea；　but；　by　that　time；　Dr。　May　had　established　himself　in
the　chair　which　had　hitherto　been　appropriated　to　her　cousin；　a　chair
that　cut　her　nook　off　from　the　rest　of　the　world；　and　made　her　the
exclusive　possession　of　the　occupant。　　There　was　a　most　interesting
history　for　her　to　hear；　of　a　meeting　with　the　Town　Council；　which
she　had　left　pending；　when　Dr。　May　had　been　battling　to　save　the　next
presentation　of　the　living　from　being　sold。

Few　subjects　could　affect　Ethel　more　nearly；　yet　she　caught　herself
missing　the　thread　of　his　discourse；　in　trying　to　hear　what　Mr。
Ogilvie　was　saying　to　Flora　about　a　visit　to　Glenbracken。

The　time　came　for　the　two　Balliol　men　to　take　their　leave。　　Norman
May　had　been　sitting　very　silent　all　the　evening；　and　Meta；　who　was
near　him；　respected　his　mood。　　When　he　said　good…night；　he　drew　Ethel
outside　the　door。　　〃Ethel；〃　he　said；　〃only　one　thing：　do　ask　my
father　not　to　put　on　his　spectacles
to…morrow。〃

〃Very　well；〃　said　Ethel；　half　smiling；　〃Richard　did　not　mind　them。〃

〃Richard　has　more　humilityI　shall　break　down　if　he　looks　at　me！　　I
wish　you　were　all　at　home。〃

〃Thank　you。〃

The　other　Norman　came　out　of　the　sitting…room　at　the　moment；　and
heard　the　last　words。

〃Never　mind；〃　said　he　to　Ethel；　〃I'll　take　care　of　him。　　He　shall
comport　himself　as　if　you　were　all　at　Nova　Zembla。　　A　pretty　fellow
to　talk　of　despising　fame；　and　then　get　a　fit　of　stage…fright！〃

〃Well；　good…night；〃　said　Norman；　sighing。　　〃It　will　be　over　to…
morrow；　only　remember　the　spectacles。〃

Dr。　May　laughed　a　good　deal　at　the　request；　and　asked　if　the　rest　of
the　party　were　to　be　blindfolded。　　Meta　wondered　that　Ethel　should
have　mentioned　the　request　so　publicly；　she　was　a　good　deal　touched
by　it；　and　she　thought　Dr。　May　ought　to　be　so。

Good…night　was　said；　and　Dr。　May　put　his　arm　round　Ethel；　and　gave
her　the　kiss　that　she　had　missed　for　seven　nights。　　It　was　very
homelike；　and　it　brought　a　sudden　flash　of　thought　across　Ethel！
What　had　she　been　doing？　　She　had　been　impatient　of　her　father's
monopoly　of　her！

She　parted　with　Flora；　and　entered　the　room　she　shared　with　Meta；
where　Bellairs　waited　to　attend　her　little　mistress。　　Few　words
passed　between　the　two　girls；　and　those　chiefly　on　the　morrow's
dress。　　Meta　had　some　fixed　ideasshe　should　wear　pink。　　Norman　had
said　he　liked　her　pink　bonnet；　and　then　she　could　put　down　her　white
veil；　so　that　he　could　be　certain　that　she　was　not　looking；　Ethel
vaguely　believed　Flora　meant　to　wearsomething

Bellairs　went　away；　and　Meta　gave　expression　to　her　eager　hope　that
Norman　would　go　through　it　well。　　If　he　would　only　read　it　as　he　did
last　Easter　to　her　and　Ethel。

〃He　will；〃　said　Ethel。　　〃This　nervousness　always　wears　off　when　it
comes　to　the　point；　and　he　warms　with　his　subject。〃

〃Oh！　but　think　of　all　the　eyes　looking　at　him！〃

〃Our's　are　all　that　he　really　cares　for；　and　he　will　think　of　none　of
them；　when　he　begins。　　No；　Meta；　you　must　not　encourage　him　in　it。
Papa　says；　if　he　did　not　think　it　half　morbidthe　result　of　the
shock　to　his　nerveshe　should　be　angry　with　it　as　a　sort　of
conceit！〃

〃I　should　have　thought　that　the　last　thing　to　be　said　of　Norman！〃
said　Meta；　with　a　little　suppressed　indignation。

〃It　was　once　in　his　nature；〃　said　Ethel；　〃and　I　think　it　is　the　fault
he　most　beats　down。　　There　was　a　time；　before　you　knew　him；　when　he
would　have　been　vain　and　ambitious。〃

〃Then　it　is　as　they　say；　conquered　faults　grow　to　be　the　opposite
virtues！〃　said　Meta。　　〃How　very　good　he　is；　Ethel；　one　sees　it　more
when　he　is　with　other　people；　and　one　hears　all　these　young　men's
stories！〃

〃Everything　Norman　does　not　do；　is　not　therefore　wrong；〃　said　Ethel；
with　her　usual　lucidity　of　expression。

〃Don't　you　like　him　the　better　for　keeping　out　of　all　these　follies？〃

〃Norman　does　not　call　them　so；　I　am　sure。〃

〃No；　he　is　too　good　to　condemn〃

〃It　is　not　only　that；〃　said　Ethel。　　〃I　know　papa　thinks　that　the
first　grief；　coming　at　his　age；　and　in　the　manner　it　did；　checked　and
subdued　his　spirits；　so　that　he　has　little　pleasure　in　those　things。
And　he　always　meant　to　be　a　clergyman；　which　acted　as　a　sort　of
consecration　on　him；　but　many　things　are　innocent；　and　I　do　believe
papa　would　like　it　better；　if　Norman　were　less　grave。〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Meta；　remembering　the　Sunday　talk；　〃but　still；　he　would
not　be　all　he　isso　different　from　others〃

〃Of　course；　I　don't　mean　less　good；　only；　less　grave；〃　said　Ethel；
〃and　certainly　less　nervous。　　But；　perhaps；　it　is　a　good　thing；　dear
mamma　thought　his　talents　would　have　been　a　greater　temptation　than
they　seem　to　be；　subdued　as　he　has　been。　　I　only　meant　that　you　must
not　condemn　all　that　Norman　does　not　do。　　Now；　goodnight。〃

Very　different　were　the　feelings　with　which　those　two　young　girls
stretched　themselves　in　their　beds　that　night。　　Margaret　Rivers's
innocent；　happy　little　heart　was　taken　up　in　one　contemplation。
Admiration；　sympathy；　and　the　exultation　for　him；　which　he　would　not
feel　for　himself；　drew　little　Meta　entirely　out　of　herselfa　self
that　never　held　her　much。　　She　was　proud　of　the　slender　thread　of
connection　between　them；　she　was　confident　that　his　vague　fancies
were　but　the　scruples　of　a　sensitive　mind；　and；　as　she　fell　sound
asleep；　she　murmured　broken　lines　of　Decius；　mixed　with　promises　not
to　look。

Etheldred　heard　them；　for　there　was　no　sleep　for　her。　　She　had　a
parley　to　hold　with　herself；　and　to　accuse　her　own　feelings　of　having
been　unkind；　ungrateful；　undutiful　towards　her　father。　　What　had　a
fit　of　vanity　brought　her　to？　that　she　should　have　been　teased　by
what　would　naturally　have　been　her　greatest　delight！　her　father's
pleasure　in　being　with　her。　　Was　this　the　girl　who　had　lately　vowed
within　herself　that　her　father　should　be　her　first　earthly　object？

At　first；　Ethel　blamed　herself　for　her　secret　impatience；　but　another
conviction　crossed　her；　and　not　an　unpleasing　one；　though　it　made　her
cheeks　tingle　with　maidenly　shame；　at　having　called　it　up。
Throughout　this　week；　Norman　Ogilvie　had　certainly　sought　her　out。
He　had　looked　disappointed　this　eveningthere　was　no　doubt　that　he
was　attracted　by　herby　her；　plain；　awkward　Ethel！　　Such　a
perception　assuredly　never　gave　so　much　pleasure　to　a　beauty　as　it
did　to　Ethel；　who　had　always　believed　herself　far　less　good…looking
than　she　really　was。　　It　was　a　gleam　of　delight；　and；　though　she　set
herself　to　scold　it　down；　the　conviction　was　elastic；　and　always
leaped　up　again。

That　resolution　came　before　her；　but　it　had　been　unspoken；　it　could
not　be　binding；　and；　if　her　notion　were　really　right；　the　misty
brilliant　future　of　mutual　joy　dazzled　her！　　But　there　was　another
side：　her　father　oppressed　and　lonely；　Margaret　ill　and　pining；　Mary；
neither　companion　nor　authority；　the　children　running　wild；　and　she；
who　had　mentally　vowed　never　to　forsake　her　father；　far　away；
enjoying　her　own　happiness。　　〃Ah！　that　resolve　had　seemed　easy　enough
when　it　was　made；　when；〃　thought　Ethel；　〃I　fancied　no　one　could　care
for　me！　　Shame　on　me！　　Now　is　the　time　to　test　it！　　I　must　go　home
with　papa。〃

It　was　a　great　struggleon　one　side　there　was　the　deceitful　guise　of
modesty；　telling　her　it　was　absurd　to　give　so　much　importance　to　the
kindness　of　the　first　cousin　with　whom　she　had　ever　been　thrown；
there　was　the　dislike　to　vex　Flora　to　make　a　discussion；　and　break　up
the　party。　　There　was　the　desire　to　hear　the　concert；　to　go　to　the
breakfast　at　　College；　to　return　round　by　Warwick　Castle；　and
Kenilworth；　as　designed。　　Should　she　lose　all　this　for　a　mere
flattering　fancy？　　She；　who　had　laughed　at　Miss　Boulder；　for
imagining　every　one　who　spoke　to　her　was　smitten。　　What　reason　could
she　assign？　　It　would　be　simply　ridiculous；　and　unkindand　it　was　so
very　pleasant。　　Mr。　Ogilvie　would　be　too　wise　to　think　of　so
incongruous　a　connection；　which　would　be　so　sure　to　displease　his
parents。　　It　was　more　absurd　than　ever　to