a thief in the night-第8章

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　　Mind　that　telephone！　　If　you　touch　the　receiver　they　will　know　at　the　exchange　that　the　house　is　not　empty；　and　I　wouldn't　put　it　past　the　colonel　to　have　told　them　exactly　how　long　he　was　going　to　be　away。　　He's　pretty　particular：　look　at　the　strips　of　paper　to　keep　the　dust　off　his　precious　books！〃

〃Is　he　a　colonel？〃　I　asked；　perceiving　that　Raffles　referred　to　the　absentee　householder。

〃Of　sappers；〃　he　replied；　〃and　a　V。C。　into　the　bargain；　confound　him！　Got　it　at　Rorke's　Drift；　prison　governor　or　inspector　ever　since；　favorite　recreation；　what　do　you　think？　　Revolver　shooting！　　You　can　read　all。　about　him　in　his　own　Who's　Who。　　A　devil　of　a　chap　to　tackle；　Bunny；　when　he's　at　home！〃

〃And　where　is　he　now？〃　I　asked　uneasily。　　And　do　you　know　he　isn't　on　his　way　home？〃

〃Switzerland；〃　replied　Raffles；　chuckling；　〃he　wrote　one　too　many　labels；　and　was　considerate　enough　to　leave　it　behind　for　our　guidance。　　Well；　no　one　ever　comes　back　from　Switzerland　at　the　beginning　of　September；　you　know；　and　nobody　ever　thinks　of　coming　back　before　the　servants。　When　they　turn　up　they　won't　get　in。　　I　　keep　the　latch　jammed；　but　the　servants　will　think　it's　jammed　itself；　and　while　they're　gone　for　the　locksmith　we　shall　walk　out　like　gentlemen　…　if　we　haven't　done　so　already。〃

〃As　you　walked　in；　I　suppose？〃

Raffles　shook　his　head　in　the　dim　light　to　which　my　sight　was　growing　inured。

〃No；　Bunny；　I　regret　to　say　I　came　in　through　the　dormer　window。　They　were　painting　next　door　but　one。　　I　never　did　like　ladder　work；　but　it　takes　less　time　than　in　picking　a　lock　in　the　broad　light　of　a　street　lamp。〃

〃So　they　left　you　a　latch…key　as　well　as　everything　else！〃

〃No；　Bunny。　　I　was　just　able　to　make　that　for　myself。　　I　am　playing　at　'Robinson　Crusoe；'　not　'The　Swiss　Family　Robinson。'　　And　now；　my　dear　Friday；　if　you　will　kindly　take　off　those　boots；　we　can　explore　the　island　before　we　turn　in　for　the　night。〃

The　stairs　were　very　steep　and　narrow；　and　they　creaked　alarmingly　as　Raffles　led　the　way　up；　with　the　single　candle　in　the　crown　of　the　colonel's　hat。　　He　blew　it　out　before　we　reached　the　half…landing；　where　a　naked　window　stared　upon　the　backs　of　the　houses　in　the　next　road；　but　lit　it　again　at　the　drawing…room　door。　　I　just　peeped　in　upon　a　semi…grand　swathed　in　white　and　a　row　of　water　colors　mounted　in　gold。　　An　excellent　bathroom　broke　our　journey　to　the　second　floor。

〃I'll　have　one　to…night；〃　said　I；　taking　heart　of　a　luxury　unknown　in　my　last　sordid　sanctuary。

〃You'll　do　no　such　thing；〃　snapped　Raffles。　　〃Have　the　goodness　to　remember　that　our　island　is　one　of　a　group　inhabited　by　hostile　tribes。　　You　can　fill　the　bath　quietly　if　you　try；　but　it　empties　under　the　study　window；　and　makes　the　very　devil　of　a　noise　about　　it。　　No；　Bunny；　I　bale　out　every　drop　and　pour　it　away　through　the　scullery　sink；　so　you　will　kindly　consult　me　before　you　turn　a　tap。　Here's　your　room；　hold　the　light　outside　while　I　draw　the　curtains；　it's　the　old　chap's　dressing…room。　　Now　you　can　bring　the　glim。　How's　that　for　a　jolly　wardrobe？　　And　look　at　his　coats　on　their　cross…trees　inside：　dapper　old　dog；　shouldn't　you　say？　　Mark　the　boots　on　the　shelf　above；　and　the　little　brass　rail　for　his　ties！　Didn't　I　tell　you　he　was　particular？　　And　wouldn't　he　simply　love　to　catch　us　at　his　kit？〃

〃Let's　only　hope　it　would　give　him　an　apoplexy；〃　said　I　shuddering。

〃I　shouldn't　build　on　it；〃　replied　Raffles。　　〃That's　a　big　man's　trouble；　and　neither　you　nor　I　could　get　into　the　old　chap's　clothes。　But　come　into　the　best　bedroom；　Bunny。　　You　won't　think　me　selfish　if　I　don't　give　it　up　to　you？　　Look　at　this；　my　boy；　look　at　this！　It's　the　only　one　I　use　in　all。　the　house。〃

I　had　followed　him　into　a　good　room；　with　ample　windows　closely　curtained；　and　he　had　switched　on　the　light　in　a　hanging　lamp　at　the　bedside。　　The　rays　fell　from　a　thick　green　funnel　in　a　plateful　of　strong　light　upon　a　table　deep　in　books。　　I　noticed　several　volumes　of　the　〃Invasion　of　the　Crimea。〃

〃That's　where　I　rest　the　body　and　exercise　the　brain；〃　said　Raffles。　〃I　have　long　wanted　to　read　my　Kinglake　from　A　to　Z；　and　I　manage　about　a　volume　a　night。　　There's　a　style　for　you；　Bunny！　　I　love　the　punctilious　thoroughness　of　the　whole　thing；　one　can　understand　its　appeal　to　our　careful　colonel。　　His　name；　did　you　say？　　Crutchley；　Bunny　…　Colonel　Crutchley；　R。E。；　V。C。〃

〃We'd　put　his　valor　to　the　test！〃　said　I；　feeling　more　valiant　myself　after　our　tour　of　inspection。

〃Not　so　loud　on　the　stairs；〃　whispered　Raffles。　　〃There's　only　one　door　between　us　and　…　〃

Raffles　stood　still　at　my　feet；　and　well　he　might！　　A　deafening　double　knock　had　resounded　through　the　empty　house；　and　to　add　to　the　utter　horror　of　the　moment；　Raffles　instantly　blew　out　the　light。　I　heard　my　heart　pounding。　　Neither　of　us　breathed。　　We　were　on　our　way　down　to　the　first　landing；　and　for　a　moment　we　stood　like　mice；　then　Raffles　heaved　a　deep　sigh；　and　in　the　depths　I　heard　the　gate　swing　home。

〃Only　the　postman；　Bunny！　　He　will　come　now　and　again；　though　they　have　obviously　left　instructions　at　the　post…office。　　I　hope　the　old　colonel　will　let　them　have　it　when　he　gets　back。　　I　confess　it　gave　me　a　turn。〃

〃Turn！〃　I　gasped。　　〃I　must　have　a　drink；　if　I　die　for　it。〃

〃My　dear　Bunny；　that's　no　part　of　my　Rest　Cure。〃

〃Then　good…by！　　I　can't　stand　it；　feel　my　forehead；　listen　to　my　heart！　　Crusoe　found　a　footprint；　but　he　never　heard　a　double…knock　at　the　street　door！〃

〃'Better　live　in　the　midst　of　alarms；'〃　quoted　Raffles；　〃'than　dwell　in　this　horrible　place。'　　I　must　confess　we　get　it　both　ways；　Bunny。　Yet　I've　nothing　but　tea　in　the　house。〃

〃And　where　do　you　make　that？　　Aren't　you　afraid　of　smoke？〃

〃There's　a　gas…stove　in　the　dining…room。〃

〃But　surely　to　goodness；〃　I　cried；　〃there's　a　cellar　lower　down！〃

〃My　dear；　good　Bunny；〃　said　Raffles；　〃I've　told　you　already　that　I　didn't　come　in　here　on　business。　　I　came　in　for　the　Cure。　　Not　a　penny　will　these　people　be　the　worse；　except　for　their　washing　and　their　electric　light；　and　I　mean　to　leave　enough　to　cover　both　items。〃

〃Then；〃　said　I；　〃since　Brutus　is　such　a　very　honorable　man；　we　will　borrow　a　bottle　from　the　cellar；　and　replace　it　before　we　go。〃

Raffles　slapped　me　softly　on　the　back；　and　I　knew　that　I　had　gained　my　point。　　It　was　often　the　case　when　I　had　the　presence　of　heart　and　mind　to　stand　up　to　him。　　But　never　was　little　victory　of　mine　quite　so　grateful　as　this。　　Certainly　it　was　a　very　small　cellar；　indeed　a　mere　cupboard　under　the　kitchen　stairs；　with　a　most　ridiculous　lock。　　Nor　was　this　cupboard　overstocked　with　wine。　　But　I　made　out　a　jar　of　whiskey；　a　shelf　of　Zeltinger；　another　of　claret；　and　a　short　one　at　the　top　which　presented　a　little　battery　of　golden…leafed　necks　and　corks。　　Raffles　set　his　hand　no　lower。　　He　examined　the　labels　while　I　held　folded　hat　and　naked　light。

〃Mumm；　'84！〃　he　whispered。　　〃G。　H。　Mumm；　and　A。D。　1884！　　I　am　no　wine…bibber；　Bunny；　as　you　know；　but　I　hope　you　appreciate　the　specifications　as　I　do。　　It　looks　to　me　like　the　only　bottle；　the　last　of　its　case；　and　it　does　seem　a　bit　of　a　shame；　but　more　shame　for　the　miser　who　hoards　in　his　cellar　what　was　meant　for　mankind！　Come；　Bunny；　lead　the　way。　　This　baby　is　worth　nursing。　　It　would　break　my　heart　if　anything　happened　to　it　now！〃

So　we　celebrated　my　first　night　in　the　furnished　house；　and　I　slept　beyond　belief；　slept　as　I　never　was　to　sleep　there　again。　　But　it　was　strange　to　hear　the　milkman　in　the　early　morning；　and　the　postman　knocking　his　way　along　the　street　an　hour　later；　and　to　be　passed　over　by　one　destroying　angel　after　another。　　I　had　come　down　early　enough；　and　watched　through　the　drawing…room　blind　the　cleansing　of　all。　the　steps　in　the　street　but　ours。　　Yet　Raffles　had　evidently　been　up　some　time；　the　house　seemed　far　purer　than　overnight　as　though　he　had　managed　to　air　it　room　by　room；　and　from　the　one　with　the　gas…stove　there　came　a　frizzling　sound　that　fattened　the　heart。

I　only　would　I　had　the　pen　to　do　justice　to　the　week　I　spent　in…doors　on　Campden　Hill！　　It　might　make　amusing　reading；　the　reality　for　me　was　far　removed　from　the　realm　of　amusement。　　Not　that　I　was　denied　many　a　laugh　of　suppressed　heartiness　when　Raffles　and　I　were　together。　　But　half　our　time　we　very　literally　saw　nothing　of　each　other。　　I　need　not　say　whose　fault　that　was。　　He　would　be　quiet；　he　was　in　ridiculous　and　offensive　earnest　about　his　egregious　Cure。　Kinglake　he　would　read　by　the　hour　together；　day　and　night；　by　the　hanging　lamp；　lying　up…stairs　on　the　best　bed。　　There　was　daylight　enough　for　me　in　the　drawing…room　below；　and　there　I　would　sit　immersed　in　criminous　tomes　weakly　fascinated　until　I　shivered　and　shook　in　my　stocking　soles。　　Often　I　longed　to　do　something　hysterically　desperate；　to　rouse　Raffles　and　bring　the　street　about　our　ears；　once　I　did　bring　him　about　mine　by　striking　a　single　note　on　the　piano；　with　the　soft　pedal　down。　　His　neglect　of　me　seemed　wanton　at　the　time。　　I　have　long　realized　that　he　was　only　wise　to　maintain　silence　at　the　expense　of　perilous　amenities；　and　as　fully　justified　in　those　secret　and　solitary　sorties　which　made　bad　blood　in　my　veins。　　He　was　far　cleverer　than　I　at　getting　in　and　out；　but　even　had　I　been　his　match　for　stealth　and　wariness；　my　company　would　have　doubled　every　risk。　　I　admit　now　that　he　treated　me　with　quite　as　much　sympathy　as　common　caution　would　permit。　　But　at　the　time　I　took　it　so　badly　as　to　plan　a　small　revenge。

What　with　his　flourishing　beard　and　the　increasing　shabbiness　of　the　only　suit　he　had　brought　with　him　to　the　house；　there　was　no　denying　that　Raffles　had　now　the　advantage　of　a　permanent　disguise。　That　was　another　of　his　excuses　for　leaving　me　as　he　did；　and　it　was　the　one　I　was　determined　to　remove。　　On　a　morning；　therefore；　when　I　awoke　to　find　him　flown　again；　I　proceeded　to　execute　a　plan　which　I　had　already　matured　in　my　mind。　　Colonel　Crutchley　was　a　married　man；　there　were　no　signs　of　children　in　the　house；　on　the　other　hand；　there　was　much　evidence　that　the　wife　was　a　woman　of　fashion。　　Her　dresses　overflowed　the　wardrobe　and　her　room；　large；　flat；　cardboard　boxes　were　to　be　found　in　every　corner　of　the　upper　floors。　　She　was　a　tall　woman；　I　was　not　too　tall　a　man。　　Like　Raffles；　I　had　not　shaved　on　Campden　Hill。　　That　morning；　however；　I　did　my　best　with　a　very　fair　razor　which　the　colonel　had　left　behind　in　my　room；　then　I　turned　out　the　lady's　wardrobe　and　the　cardboard　boxes；　and　took　my　choice。

I　have　fair　hair；　and　at　the　time　it　was　rather　long。　　With　a　pair　of　Mrs。　Crutchley's　tongs　and　a　discarded　hair…net；　I　was　able　to　produce　an　almost　immodest　fringe。　　A　big　black　hat　with　a　wintry　feather　completed　a　headdress　as　unseasonable　as　my　skating　skirt　and　feather　boa；　of　course；　the　good　lady　had　all。　her　summer　frocks　away　with　her　in　Switzerland。　　This　was　all。　the　more　annoying　from　the　fact　that　we　were　having　a　very　warm　September；　so　I　was　not　sorry　to　hear　Raffles　return　as　I　was　busy　adding　a　layer　of　powder　to　my　heated　countenance。　　I　listened　a　moment　on　the　landing；　but　as　he　went　into　the　study　I　determined　to　complete　my　toilet　in　every　detail。　　My　idea　was　first　to　give　him　the　fright　he　deserved；　and