armadale-第125章

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next　room；　who　curses　the　day　when　he　first　saw　my　face。　He　may
live　to　curse　it　for　other　reasons　than　he　has　now。　If　I　am　the
Woman　pointed　at　in　the　Dream；　there　will　be　another　temptation
put　in　my　way　before　long；　and　there　will　be　no　brandy　in
Armadale's　lemonade　if　I　mix　it　for　him　a　second　time。


〃October　24th。Barely　twelve　hours　have　passed　since　I　wrote　my
yesterday's　entry；　and　that　other　temptation　has　come；　tried；
amid　conquered　me　already！

〃This　time　there　was　no　alternative。　Instant　exposure　and　ruin
stared　me　in　the　face：　I　had　no　choice　but　to　yield　in　my　own
defense。　In　plainer　words　still；　it　was　no　accidental　resemblance
that　startled　me　at　the　theater　last　night。　The　chorus…singer　at
the　opera　was　Manuel　himself！

〃Not　ten　minutes　after　Midwinter　had　left　the　sitting…room　for
his　study；　the　woman　of　the　house　came　in　with　a　dirty　little
three…cornered　note　in　her　hand。　One　look　at　the　writing　on　the
address　was　enough。　He　had　recognized　me　in　the　box；　and　the
ballet　between　the　acts　of　the　opera　had　given　him　time　to　trace
me　home。　I　drew　that　plain　conclusion　in　the　moment　that　elapsed
before　I　opened　the　letter。　It　informed　me；　in　two　lines；　that　he
was　waiting　in　a　by…street　leading　to　the　beach；　and　that；　if　I
failed　to　make　my　appearance　in　ten　minutes；　he　should　interpret
my　absence　as　my　invitation　to　him　to　call　at　the　house。

〃What　I　went　through　yesterday　must　have　hardened　me；　I　suppose。
At　any　rate；　after　reading　the　letter；　I　felt　more　like　the　woman
I　once　was　than　I　have　felt　for　months　past。　I　put　on　my　bonnet
and　went　downstairs；　and　left　the　house　as　if　nothing　had
happened。

〃He　was　waiting　for　me　at　the　entrance　to　the　street。

〃In　the　instant　when　we　stood　face　to　face；　all　my　wretched　life
with　him　came　back　to　me。　I　thought　of　my　trust　that　he　had
betrayed；　I　thought　of　the　cruel　mockery　of　a　marriage　that　he
had　practiced　on　me；　when　he　knew　that　he　had　a　wife　living；　I
thought　of　the　time　when　I　had　felt　despair　enough　at　his
desertion　of　me　to　attempt　my　own　life。　When　I　recalled　all　this；
and　when　the　comparison　between　Midwinter　and　the　mean；　miserable
villain　whom　I　had　once　believed　in　forced　itself　into　my　mind；　I
knew　for　the　first　time　what　a　woman　feels　when　every　atom　of
respect　for　herself　has　left　her。　If　he　had　personally　insulted
me　at　that　moment；　I　believe　I　should　have　submitted　to　it。

〃But　he　had　no　idea　of　insulting　me；　in　the　more　brutal　meaning
of　the　word。　He　had　me　at　his　mercy；　and　his　way　of　making　me
feel　it　was　to　behave　with　an　elaborate　mockery　of　penitence　and
respect。　I　let　him　speak　as　he　pleased；　without　interrupting　him；
without　looking　at　him　a　second　time；　without　even　allowing　my
dress　to　touch　him；　as　we　walked　together　toward　the　quieter　part
of　the　beach。　I　had　noticed　the　wretched　state　of　his　clothes；
and　the　greedy　glitter　in　his　eyes；　in　my　first　look　at　him。　And
I　knew　it　would　endas　it　did　endin　a　demand　on　me　for　money。

〃Yes！　After　taking　from　me　the　last　farthing　I　possessed　of　my
own；　and　the　last　farthing　I　could　extort　for　him　from　my　old
mistress；　he　turned　on　me　as　we　stood　by　the　margin　of　the　sea；
and　asked　if　I　could　reconcile　it　to　my　conscience　to　let　him　be
wearing　such　a　coat　as　he　then　had　on　his　back；　and　earning　his
miserable　living　as　a　chorus…singer　at　the　opera！

〃My　disgust；　rather　than　my　indignation；　roused　me　into　speaking
to　him　at　last。

〃　'You　want　money；'　I　said。　'Suppose　I　am　too　poor　to　give　　it　to
you？'

〃　'In　that　case；'　he　replied；　'I　shall　be　forced　to　remember　that
you　are　a　treasure　in　yourself。　And　I　shall　be　under　the　p　ainful
necessity　of　pressing　my　claim　to　you　on　the　attention　of　one　of
those　two　gentlemen　whom　I　saw　with　you　at　the　operathe
gentleman；　of　course；　who　is　now　honored　by　your　preference；　and
who　lives　provisionally　in　the　light　of　your　smiles。'

〃I　made　him　no　answer；　for　I　had　no　answer　to　give。　Disputing　his
right　to　claim　me　from　anybody　would　have　been　a　mere　waste　of
words。　He　knew　as　well　as　I　did　that　he　had　not　the　shadow　of　a
claim　on　me。　But　the　mere　attempt　to　raise　it　would；　as　he　was
well　aware；　lead　necessarily　to　the　exposure　of　my　whole　past
life。

〃Still　keeping　silence；　I　looked　out　over　the　sea。　I　don't　know
why；　except　that　I　instinctively　looked　anywhere　rather　than　look
at　_him。_

〃A　little　sailing…boat　was　approaching　the　shore。　The　man
steering　was　hidden　from　me　by　the　sail；　but　the　boat　was　so　near
that　I　thought　I　recognized　the　flag　on　the　mast。　I　looked　at　my
watch。　Yes！　It　was　Armadale　coming　over　from　Santa　Lucia　at　his
usual　time；　to　visit　us　in　his　usual　way。

〃Before　I　had　put　my　watch　back　in　my　belt；　the　means　of
extricating　myself　from　the　frightful　position　I　was　placed　in
showed　themselves　to　me　as　plainly　as　I　see　them　now。

〃I　turned　and　led　the　way　to　the　higher　part　of　the　beach；　where
some　fishing…boats　were　drawn　up　which　completely　screened　us
from　the　view　of　any　one　landing　on　the　shore　below。　Seeing
probably　that　I　had　a　purpose　of　some　kind；　Manuel　followed　me
without　uttering　a　word。　As　soon　as　we　were　safely　under　the
shelter　of　the　boats；　I　forced　myself；　in　my　own　defense；　to　look
at　him　again。

〃　'What　should　you　say；'　I　asked；　'if　I　was　rich　instead　of　poor？
What　should　you　say　if　I　could　afford　to　give　you　a　hundred
pounds？'

〃He　started。　I　saw　plainly　that　he　had　not　expected　so　much　as
half　the　sum　I　had　mentioned。　It　is　needless　to　add　that　his
tongue　lied；　while　his　face　spoke　the　truth；　and　that　when　he
replied　to　me　the　answer　was；　'Nothing　like　enough。'

〃　'Suppose；'　I　went　on；　without　taking　any　notice　of　what　he　had
said；　'that　I　could　show　you　a　way　of　helping　yourself　to　twice
as　much　three　times　as　muchfive　times　as　much　as　a　hundred
pounds；　are　you　bold　enough　to　put　out　your　hand　and　take　it？'

〃The　greedy　glitter　came　into　his　eyes　once　more。　His　voice
dropped　low；　in　breathless　expectation　of　my　next　words。

〃　'Who　is　the　person？'　he　asked。　'And　what　is　the　risk？'

〃I　answered　him　at　once；　in　the　plainest　terms。　I　threw　Armadale
to　him；　as　I　might　have　thrown　a　piece　of　meat　to　a　wild　beast
who　was　pursuing　me。

〃　'The　person　is　a　rich　young　Englishman；'　I　said。　'He　has　just
hired　the　yacht　called　the　_Dorothea；_　in　the　harbor　here；　and　he
stands　in　need　of　a　sailing…master　and　a　crew。　You　were　once　an
officer　in　the　Spanish　navyyou　speak　English　and　Italian
perfectlyyou　are　thoroughly　well　acquainted　with　Naples　and　all
that　belongs　to　it。　The　rich　young　Englishman　is　ignorant　of　the
language；　and　the　interpreter　who　assists　him　knows　nothing　of
the　sea。　He　is　at　his　wits'　end　for　want　of　useful　help　in　this
strange　place；　he　has　no　more　knowledge　of　the　world　than　that
child　who　is　digging　holes　with　a　stick　there　in　the　sand；　and　he
carries　all　his　money　with　him　in　circular　notes。　So　much　for　the
person。　As　for　the　risk；　estimate　it　for　yourself。'

〃The　greedy　glitter　in　his　eyes　grew　brighter　and　brighter　with
every　word　I　said。　He　was　plainly　ready　to　face　the　risk　before　I
had　done　speaking。

〃　'When　can　I　see　the　Englishman？'　he　asked；　eagerly。

〃I　moved　to　the　seaward　end　of　the　fishing…boat；　and　saw　that
Armadale　was　at　that　moment　disembarking　on　the　shore。

〃　'You　can　see　him　now；'　I　answered；　and　pointed　to　the　place。

〃After　a　long　look　at　Armadale　walking　carelessly　up　the　slope　of
the　beach；　Manuel　drew　back　again　under　the　shelter　of　the　boat。
He　waited　a　moment；　considering　something　carefully　with　himself；
and　put　another　question　to　me；　in　a　whisper　this　time。

〃　'When　the　vessel　is　manned；'　he　said；　'and　the　Englishman　sails
from　Naples；　how　many　friends　sail　with　him？'

〃　'He　has　but　two　friends　here；'　I　replied；　'that　other　gentleman
whom　you　saw　with　me　at　the　opera；　and　myself。　He　will　invite　us
both　to　sail　with　him；　and　when　the　time　comes；　we　shall　both
refuse。'

〃　'Do　you　answer　for　that？'

〃　'I　answer　for　it　positively。'

〃He　walked　a　few　steps　away；　and　stood　with　his　face　hidden　from
me；　thinking　again。　All　I　could　see　was　that　he　took　off　his　hat
and　passed　his　handkerchief　over　his　forehead。　All　I　could　hear
was　that　he　talked　to　himself　excitedly　in　his　own　language。

〃There　was　a　change　in　him　when　he　came　back。　His　face　had　turned
to　a　livid　yellow；　and　his　eyes　looked　at　me　with　a　hideous
distrust。

〃　'One　last　question；'　he　said；　and　suddenly　came　closer　to　me；
suddenly　spoke　with　a　marked　emphasis　on　his　next　words：　'_What
is　your　interest　in　this？_'

〃I　started　back　from　him。　The　question　reminded　me　that　I　_had_
an　interest　in　the　matter；　which　was　entirely　unconnected　with
the　interest　of　keeping　Manuel　and　Midwinter　apart。　Thus　far　I
had　only　remembered　that　Midwinter's　fatalism　had　smoothed　the
way　for　me；　by　abandoning　Armadale　beforehand　to　any　stranger　who
might　come　forward　to　help　him。　Thus　far　the　sole　object　I　had
kept　in　view　was　to　protect　myself；　by　the　sacrifice　of　Armadale；
from　the　exposure　that　threatened　me。　I　tell　no　lies　to　my　Diary。
I　don't　affect　to　have　felt　a　moment's　consideration　for　the
interests　of　Armadale's　purse　or　the　safety　of　Armadale's　life。　I
hated　him　too　savagely　to　care　what　pitfalls　my　tongue　might　be
the　means　of　opening　under　his　feet。　But　I　certainly　did　not　see
（until　that　last　question　was　put　to　me）　that；　in　serving　his　own
designs；　Manuel　mightif　he　dared　go　all　lengths　for　the
moneybe　serving　my　designs　too。　The　one　overpowering　anxiety　to
protect　myself　from　exposure　before　Midwinter　had　（I　suppose）
filled　all　my　mind；　to　the　exclusion　of　everything　else。

〃Finding　that　I　made　no　reply　for　the　moment；　Manuel　reiterated
his　question；　putting　it　in　a　new　form。

〃　'You　have　cast　your　Englishman　at　me；'　he　said；　'like　the　sop
to　Cerberus。　Would　you　have　been　quite　so　ready　to　do　that　if　you
had　not　had　a　motive　of　your　own？　I　repeat　my　question。　You　have
an　interest　in　thiswhat　is　it？'

〃　'I　have　two　interests；'　I　answered。　'The　interest　of　forcing
you　to　respect　my　position　here；　and　the　interest　of　ridding
myself　of　the　sight　of　you　at　once　and　forever！'　I　spoke　with　a
boldness　he　had　not　yet　heard　from　me。　The　sense　that　I　was
making　the　villain　an　instrument　in　my　hands；　and　forcing　him　to
help　my　purpose　blindly；　while　he　was　helping　his　own；　roused　my
spirits；　and　made　me　feel　like　myself　again。

〃He　laughed。　'Strong　language；　on　certain　occasions；　is　a　lady's
privilege；'　he　said。　'You　may；　or　may　not；　rid　yourself　of　the
sight　of　me；　at　once　and　forever。　We　will　leave　that　question　to
be　settled　in　the　future。　But　your　other　interest　in　this　matter
puzzles　me。　You　have　told　me　all　I　need　know　about　the　Englishman
and　his　yacht；　and　you　have　made　no　conditions　before　you　opened
your　lips。　Pray；　how　are　you　to　force　me；　as　you　say；　to　respect
your　position　here？'

〃　'I　will　tell　you　how；'　I　rejoined。　'You　shall　hear　my
conditions　first。　I　insist　on　your　leaving　me　in　five　minutes
more。　I　insist　on　your　never　again　coming　near　the　house　where　I
live；　and　I　forbid　your　attempting　to　communicate　in　any　way
either　with　me　or　with　that　other　gentleman　whom　you　saw　with　me
at　the　theater'

〃　'And　suppose　I　say　n