armadale-第29章

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doctor's　boat。　Let's　talk　about　the　future。　Have　you　been　taking
a　practical　view？　as　dear　old　Brock　calls　it。　Have　you　been
considering　the　next　serious　question　that　concerns　us　both　when
we　get　back　to　the　hotelthe　question　of　breakfast？〃

After　an　instant's　hesitation；　Midwinter　took　a　step　nearer。　〃I
have　been　thinking　of　your　future　and　mine；〃　he　said；　〃I　have
been　thinking　of　the　time　when　your　way　in　life　and　my　way　in
life　will　be　two　ways　instead　of　one。〃

〃Here's　the　daybreak！〃　cried　Allan。　〃Look　up　at　the　masts；
they're　beginning　to　get　clear　again　already。　I　beg　your　pardon。
What　were　you　saying？〃

Midwinter　made　no　reply。　The　struggle　between　the　hereditary
superstition　that　was　driving　him　on；　and　the　unconquerable
affection　for　Allan　that　was　holding　him　back；　suspended　the　next
words　on　his　lips。　He　turned　aside　his　face　in　speechless
suffering。　〃Oh；　my　father！〃　he　thought；　〃better　have　killed　me　on
that　day　when　I　lay　on　your　bosom；　than　have　let　me　live　for
this。〃

〃What's　that　about　the　future？〃　persisted　Allan。　〃I　was　looking
for　the　daylight；　I　didn't　hear。〃

Midwinter　controlled　himself；　and　answered：　〃You　have　treated　me
with　your　usual　kin　dness；〃　he　said；　〃in　planning　to　take　me　with
you　to　Thorpe　Ambrose。　I　think；　on　reflection；　I　had　better　not
intrude　myself　where　I　am　not　known　and　not　expected。〃　His　voice
faltered；　and　he　stopped　again。　The　more　he　shrank　from　it；　the
clearer　the　picture　of　the　happy　life　that　he　was　resigning　rose
on　his　mind。

Allan's　thoughts　instantly　reverted　to　the　mystification　about
the　new　steward　which　he　had　practiced　on　his　friend　when　they
were　consulting　together　in　the　cabin　of　the　yacht。　〃Has　he　been
turning　it　over　in　his　mind？〃　wondered　Allan；　〃and　is　he
beginning　at　last　to　suspect　the　truth？　I'll　try　him。Talk　as
much　nonsense；　my　dear　fellow；　as　you　like；〃　he　rejoined；　〃but
don't　forget　that　you　are　engaged　to　see　me　established　at　Thorpe
Ambrose；　and　to　give　me　your　opinion　of　the　new　steward。〃

Midwinter　suddenly　stepped　forward　again；　close　to　Allan。

〃I　am　not　talking　about　your　steward　or　your　estate；〃　he　burst
out　passionately；　〃I　am　talking　about　myself。　Do　you　hear？
Myself！　I　am　not　a　fit　companion　for　you。　You　don't　know　who　I
am。〃　He　drew　back　into　the　shadowy　shelter　of　the　bulwark　as
suddenly　as　he　had　come　out　from　it。　〃O　God！　I　can't　tell　him；〃
he　said　to　himself；　in　a　whisper。

For　a　moment；　and　for　a　moment　only；　Allan　was　surprised。　〃Not
know　who　you　are？〃　Even　as　he　repeated　the　words；　his　easy
goodhumor　got　the　upper…hand　again。　He　took　up　the　whisky　flask；
and　shook　it　significantly。　〃I　say；〃　he　resumed；　〃how　much　of　the
doctor's　medicine　did　you　take　while　I　was　up　in　the　mizzen…top？〃

The　light　tone　which　he　persisted　in　adopting　stung　Midwinter　to
the　last　pitch　of　exasperation。　He　came　out　again　into　the　light；
and　stamped　his　foot　angrily　on　the　deck。　〃Listen　to　me！〃　he
said。　〃You　don't　know　half　the　low　things　I　have　done　in　my
lifetime。　I　have　been　a　tradesman's　drudge；　I　have　swept　out　the
shop　and　put　up　the　shutters；　I　have　carried　parcels　through　the
street；　and　waited　for　my　master's　money　at　his　customers'
doors。〃

〃I　have　never　done　anything　half　as　useful；〃　returned　Allan；
composedly。　〃Dear　old　boy；　what　an　industrious　fellow　you　have
been　in　your　time！〃

〃I've　been　a　vagabond　and　a　blackguard　in　my　time；〃　returned　the
other；　fiercely；　〃I've　been　a　street　tumbler；　a　tramp；　a　gypsy's
boy！　I've　sung　for　half…pence　with　dancing　dogs　on　the　high…road！
I've　worn　a　foot…boy's　livery；　and　waited　at　table！　I've　been　a
common　sailors'　cook；　and　a　starving　fisherman's
Jack…of…all…trades！　What　has　a　gentleman　in　your　position　in
common　with　a　man　in　mine？　Can　you　take　_me_　into　the　society　at
Thorpe　Ambrose？　Why；　my　very　name　would　be　a　reproach　to　you。
Fancy　the　faces　of　your　new　neighbors　when　their　footmen　announce
Ozias　Midwinter　and　Allan　Armadale　in　the　same　breath！〃　He　burst
into　a　harsh　laugh；　and　repeated　the　two　names　again；　with　a
scornful　bitterness　of　emphasis　which　insisted　pitilessly　on　the
marked　contrast　between　them。

Something　in　the　sound　of　his　laughter　jarred　painfully　even　on
Allan's　easy　nature。　He　raised　himself　on　the　deck　and　spoke
seriously　for　the　first　time。　〃A　joke's　a　joke；　Midwinter；〃　he
said；　〃as　long　as　you　don't　carry　it　too　far。　I　remember　your
saying　something　of　the　same　sort　to　me　once　before　when　I　was
nursing　you　in　Somersetshire。　You　forced　me　to　ask　you　if　I
deserved　to　be　kept　at　arms…length　by　_you_　of　all　the　people　in
the　world。　Don't　force　me　to　say　so　again。　Make　as　much　fun　of　me
as　you　please；　old　fellow；　in　any　other　way。　_That_　way　hurts
me。〃

Simple　as　the　words　were；　and　simply　as　they　had　been　spoken；
they　appeared　to　work　an　instant　revolution　in　Midwinter's　mind。
His　impressible　nature　recoiled　as　from　some　sudden　shock。
Without　a　word　of　reply；　he　walked　away　by　himself　to　the　forward
part　of　the　ship。　He　sat　down　on　some　piled　planks　between　the
masts；　and　passed　his　hand　over　his　head　in　a　vacant；　bewildered
way。　Though　his　father's　belief　in　fatality　was　his　own　belief
once　morethough　there　was　no　longer　the　shadow　of　a　doubt　in
his　mind　that　the　woman　whom　Mr。　Brock　had　met　in　Somersetshire；
and　the　woman　who　had　tried　to　destroy　herself　in　London；　were
one　and　the　samethough　all　the　horror　that　mastered　him　when　he
first　read　the　letter　from　Wildbad　had　now　mastered　him　again；
Allan's　appeal　to　their　past　experience　of　each　other　had　come
home　to　his　heart；　with　a　force　more　irresistible　than　the　force
of　his　superstition　itself。　In　the　strength　of　that　very
superstition；　he　now　sought　the　pretext　which　might　encourage　him
to　sacrifice　every　less　generous　feeling　to　the　one　predominant
dread　of　wounding　the　sympathies　of　his　friend。　〃Why　distress
him？〃　he　whispered　to　himself。　〃We　are　not　the　end　here：　there　is
the　Woman　behind　us　in　the　dark。　Why　resist　him　when　the
mischief's　done　；　and　the　caution　comes　too　late？　What　_　is_　to
be　_will_　be。　What　have　I　to　do　with　the　future？　and　what　has
he？〃

He　went　back　to　Allan；　sat　down　by　his　side；　and　took　his　hand。
〃Forgive　me；〃　he　said；　gently；　〃I　have　hurt　you　for　the　last
time。〃　Before　it　was　possible　to　reply；　he　snatched　up　the　whisky
flask　from　the　deck。　〃Come！〃　he　exclaimed；　with　a　sudden　effort
to　match　his　friend's　cheerfulness；　〃you　have　been　trying　the
doctor's　medicine；　why　shouldn't　I？〃

Allan　was　delighted。　〃This　is　something　like　a　change　for　the
better；〃　he　said；　〃Midwinter　is　himself　again。　Hark！　there　are
the　birds。　Hail；　smiling　morn！　smiling　morn！〃　He　sang　the　words
of　the　glee　in　his　old；　cheerful　voice；　and　clapped　Midwinter　on
the　shoulder　in　his　old；　hearty　way。　〃How　did　you　manage　to　clear
your　head　of　those　confounded　megrims？　Do　you　know　you　were　quite
alarming　about　something　happening　to　one　or　other　of　us　before
we　were　out　of　this　ship？〃

〃Sheer　nonsense！〃　returned　Midwinter；　contemptuously。　〃I　don't
think　my　head　has　ever　been　quite　right　since　that　fever；　I've
got　a　bee　in　my　bonnet；　as　they　say　in　the　North。　Let's　talk　of
something　else。　About　those　people　you　have　let　the　cottage　to？　I
wonder　whether　the　agent's　account　of　Major　Milroy's　family　is　to
be　depended　on？　There　might　be　another　lady　in　the　household
besides　his　wife　and　his　daughter。〃

〃Oho！〃　cried　Allan；　〃_you're_　beginning　to　think　of　nymphs　among
the　trees；　and　flirtations　in　the　fruit…garden；　are　you？　Another
lady；　eh？　Suppose　the　major's　family　circle　won't　supply　another？
We　shall　have　to　spin　that　half…crown　again；　and　toss　up　for
which　is　to　have　the　first　chance　with　Miss　Milroy。〃

For　once　Midwinter　spoke　as　lightly　and　carelessly　as　Allan
himself。　〃No；　no；〃　he　said；　〃the　major's　landlord　has　the　first
claim　to　the　notice　of　the　major's　daughter。　I'll　retire　into　the
background；　and　wait　for　the　next　lady　who　makes　her　appearance
at　Thorpe　Ambrose。〃

〃Very　good。　I'll　have　an　address　to　the　women　of　Norfolk　posted
in　the　park　to　that　effect；〃　said　Allan。　〃Are　you　particular　to　a
shade　about　size　or　complexion？　What's　your　favorite　age？〃

Midwinter　trifled　with　his　own　superstition；　as　a　man　trifles
with　the　loaded　gun　that　may　kill　him；　or　with　the　savage　animal
that　may　maim　him　for　life。　He　mentioned　the　age　（as　he　had
reckoned　it　himself）　of　the　woman　in　the　black　gown　and　the　red
Paisley　shawl。

〃Five…and…thirty；　〃　he　said。

As　the　words　passed　his　lips；　his　factitious　spirits　deserted
him。　He　left　his　seat；　impenetrably　deaf　to　all　Allan's　efforts
at　rallying　him　on　his　extraordinary　answer；　and　resumed　his
restless　pacing　of　the　deck　in　dead　silence。　Once　more　the
haunting　thought　which　had　gone　to　and　fro　with　him　in　the　hour
of　darkness　went　to　and　fro　with　him　now　in　the　hour　of　daylight。

Once　more　the　conviction　possessed　itself　of　his　mind　that
something　was　to　happen　to　Allan　or　to　himself　before　they　left
the　wreck。

Minute　by　minute　the　light　strengthened　in　the　eastern　sky；　and
the　shadowy　places　on　the　deck　of　the　timber…ship　revealed　their
barren　emptiness　under　the　eye　of　day。　As　the　breeze　rose　again；
the　sea　began　to　murmur　wakefully　in　the　morning　light。　Even　the
cold　bubbling　of　the　broken　water　changed　its　cheerless　note；　and
softened　on　the　ear　as　the　mellowing　flood　of　daylight　poured
warm　over　it　from　the　rising　sun。　Midwinter　paused　near　the
forward　part　of　the
　ship；　and　recalled　his　wandering　attention　to　the　passing　time。
The　cheering　influences　of　the　hour　were　round　him；　look　where　he
might。　The　happy　morning　smile　of　the　summer　sky；　so　brightly
merciful　to　the　old　and　weary　earth；　lavished　its　all…embracing
beauty　even　on　the　wreck。　The　dew　that　lay　glittering　on　the
inland　fields　lay　glittering　on　the　deck；　and　the　worn　and　rusted
rigging　was　gemmed　as　brightly　as　the　fresh　green　leaves　on
shore。　Insensibly；　as　he　looked　round；　Midwinter's　thoughts
reverted　to　the　comrade　who　had　shared　with　him　the　adventure　of
the　night。　He　returned　to　the　after…part　of　the　ship；　spoke　to
Allan　as　he　advanced。　Receiving　no　answer；　he　approached　the
recumbent　figure　and　looked　closer　at　it。　Left　to　his　own
resources；　Allan　had　let　the　fatigues　of　the　night　take　their　own
way　with　him。　His　head　had　sunk　back；　his　hat　had　fallen　off；　he
lay　stretched　at　full　length　on　the　deck　of　the　timber…ship；
deeply　and　peacefully　asleep。

Midwinter　resumed　his　walk；　his　mind　lost　in　doubt；　his　own　past
thoughts　seeming　suddenly　to　have　grown　strange　to　him。　How
darkly　his　forebodings　had　distrusted　the　coming　time；　and　how
harmlessly　that　time　had　come！　The　sun　was　mounting　in　the
heavens；　the　hour　of　release　was　drawing　nearer　and　nearer；　and
of　the　two　Armadales　imprisoned　in　the　fatal　ship；　one　was
sleeping　away　the　weary　time；　and　the　other　was　quietly　watching
the　growth　of　the　new　day。

The　sun　climbed　higher；　the　hour　wore　on。　With　the　latent
distrust　of　the　wreck　which　still　clung　to　him；　Midwinter　looked
inquiringly　on　either　shore　for　signs　of　awakening　human　life。
The　land　was　still　lonely。　The　smoke　wreaths　that　were　soon　to
rise　from　cottage　chimneys　had　not　risen　yet。

After　a　moment's　thought　he　went　back　again