armadale-第65章

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knowledge。　He　had　spoken　openly；　and　had　spoken　as　it　was　in　his
character　to　speak。　The　merit　of　conquering　his　superstition　was
a　merit　which　he　shrank　from　claiming；　until　he　had　first
unsparingly　exposed　that　superstition　in　its　worst　and　weakest
aspects　to　view。

It　was　only　after　he　had　unreservedly　acknowledged　the　impulse
under　which　he　had　left　Allan　at　the　Mere；　that　he　had　taken
credit　to　himself　for　the　new　point　of　view　from　which　he　could
now　look　at　the　Dream。　Then；　and　not　till　then；　he　had　spoken　of
the　fulfillment　of　the　first　Vision　as　the　doctor　at　the　Isle　of
Man　might　have　spoken　of　it。　He　had　asked；　as　the　doctor　might
have　asked；　Where　was　the　wonder　of　their　seeing　a　pool　at
sunset；　when　they　had　a　whole　network　of　pools　within　a　few
hours'　drive　of　them？　and　what　was　there　extraordinary　in
discovering　a　woman　at　the　Mere；　when　there　were　roads　that　led
to　it；　and　villages　in　its　neighborhood；　and　boats　employed　on
it；　and　pleasure　parties　visiting　it？　So　again；　he　had　waited　to
vindicate　the　firmer　resolution　with　which　he　looked　to　the
future；　until　he　had　first　revealed　all　that　he　now　saw　himself
of　the　errors　of　the　past。　The　abandonment　of　his　friend's
interests；　the　unworthiness　of　the　confidence　that　had　given　him
the　steward's　place；　the　forgetfulness　of　the　trust　that　Mr。
Brock　had　reposed　in　him　all　implied　in　the　one　idea　of　leaving
Allanwere　all　pointed　out。　The　glaring　self…contradictions
betrayed　in　accepting　the　Dream　as　the　revelation　of　a　fatality；
and　in　attempting　to　escape　that　fatality　by　an　exertion　of
free…willin　toiling　to　store　up　knowledge　of　the　steward's
duties　for　the　future；　and　in　shrinking　from　letting　the　future
find　him　in　Allan's　housewere；　in　their　turn；　unsparingly
exposed。　To　every　error；　to　every　inconsistency；　he　resolutely
confessed；　before　he　ventured　on　the　last　simple　appeal　which
closed　all；　〃Will　you　trust　me　in　the　future？　Will　you　forgive
and　forget　the　past？〃

A　man　who　could　thus　open　his　whole　heart；　without　one　lurking
reserve　inspired　by　consideration　for　himself；　was　not　a　man　to
forget　any　minor　act　of　concealment　of　which　his　weakness　might
have　led　him　to　be　guilty　toward　his　friend。　It　lay　heavy　on
Midwinter's　conscience　that　he　had　kept　secret　from　Allan　a
discovery　which　he　ought　in　Allan's　dearest　interests　to　have
revealedthe　discovery　of　his　mother's　room。

But　one　doubt　still　closed　his　lipsthe　doubt　whether　Mrs。
Armadale's　conduct　in　Madeira　had　been　kept　secret　on　her　return
to　England。

Careful　inquiry；　first　among　the　servants；　then　among　the
tenantry；　careful　consideration　of　the　few　reports　current　at　the
time；　as　repeated　to　him　by　the　few　persons　left　who　remembered
them；　convinced　him　at　last　that　the　family　secret　had　been
successfully　kept　within　the　family　limits。　Once　satisfied　that
whatever　inquiries　the　son　might　make　would　lead　to　no　disclosure
which　could　shake　his　respect　for　his　mother's　memory；　Midwinter
had　hesitated　no　longer。　He　had　taken　Allan　into　the　room；　and
had　shown　him　the　books　on　the　shelves；　and　all　that　the　writing
in　the　books　disclosed。　He　had　said　plainly；　〃My　one　motive　for
not　telling　you　this　before　sprang　from　my　dread　of　interesting
you　in　the　room　which　I　looked　at　with　horror　as　the　second　of
the　scenes　pointed　at　in　the　Dream。　Forgive　me　this　also；　and　you
will　have　forgiven　me　all。〃

With　Allan's　love　for　his　mother's　memory；　but　one　result　could
follow　such　an　avowal　as　this。　He　had　liked　the　little　room　from
the　first；　as　a　pleasant　contrast　to　the　oppressive　grandeur　of
the　other　rooms　at　Thorpe　Ambrose；　and；　now　that　he　knew　what
associations　were　connected　with　it；　his　resolution　was　at　once
taken　to　make　it　especially　his　own。　The　same　day；　all　his
personal　possessions　were　collected　and　arranged　in　his　mother's
roomin　Midwinter's　presence；　and　with　Midwinter's　assistance
given　to　the　work。

Under　those　circumstances　had　the　change　now　wrought　in　the
household　arrangements　been　produced；　and　in　this　way　had
Midwinter's　victory　over　his　own　fatalismby　making　Allan　the
daily　occupant　of　a　room　which　he　might　otherwise　hardly　ever
have　enteredactually　favored　the　fulfillment　of　the　Second
Vision　of　th　e　Dream。


The　hour　wore　on　quietly　as　Allan's　friend　sat　waiting　for
Allan's　return。　Sometimes　reading；　sometimes　thinking　placidly；
he　whiled　away　the　time。　No　vexing　cares；　no　boding　doubts；
troubled　him　now。　The　rent…day；　which　he　had　once　dreaded；　had
come　and　gone　harmlessly。　A　friendlier　understanding　had　been
established　between　Allan　and　his　tenants；　Mr。　Bashwood　had
proved　himself　to　be　worthy　of　the　confidence　reposed　in　him；　the
Pedgifts；　father　and　son；　had　amply　justified　their　client's　good
opinion　of　them。　Wherever　Midwinter　looked；　the　prospect　was
bright；　the　future　was　without　a　cloud。

He　trimmed　the　lamp　on　the　table　beside　him　and　looked　out　at　the
night。　The　stable　clock　was　chiming　the　half…hour　past　eleven　as
he　walked　to　the　window；　and　the　first　rain…drops　were　beginning
to　fall。　He　had　his　hand　on　the　bell　to　summon　the　servant；　and
send　him　over　to　the　cottage　with　an　umbrella；　when　he　was
stopped　by　hearing　the　familiar　footstep　on　the　walk　outside。

〃How　late　you　are！〃　said　Midwinter；　as　Allan　entered　through　the
open　French　window。　〃Was　there　a　party　at　the　cottage？〃

〃No！　only　ourselves。　The　time　slipped　away　somehow。〃　He　answered
in　lower　tones　than　usual；　and　sighed　as　he　took　his　chair。

〃You　seem　to　be　out　of　spirits？〃　pursued　Midwinter。　〃What's　the
matter？〃

Allan　hesitated。　〃I　may　as　well　tell　you；〃　he　said；　after　a
moment。　〃It's　nothing　to　be　ashamed　of；　I　only　wonder　you　haven't
noticed　it　before！　There's　a　woman　in　it；　as　usualI'm　in　love。〃

Midwinter　laughed。　〃Has　Miss　Milroy　been　more　charming　to…night
than　ever？〃　he　asked；　gayly。

〃Miss　Milroy！〃　repeated　Allan。　〃What　are　you　thinking　of！　I'm　not
in　love　with　Miss　Milroy。〃

〃Who　is　it；　then？〃

〃Who　is　it！　What　a　question　to　ask！　Who　can　it　be　but　Miss
Gwilt？〃

There　was　a　sudden　silence。　Allan　sat　listlessly；　with　his　hands
in　his　pockets；　looking　out　through　the　open　window　at　the
falling　rain。　If　he　had　turned　toward　his　friend　when　he
mentioned　Miss　Gwilt's　name　he　might　possibly　have　been　a　little
startled　by　the　change　he　would　have　seen　in　Midwinter's　face。

〃I　suppose　you　don't　approve　of　it？〃　he　said；　after　waiting　a
little。

There　was　no　answer。

〃It's　too　late　to　make　objections；〃　proceeded　Allan。　〃I　really
mean　it　when　I　tell　you　I'm　in　love　with　her。〃

〃A　fortnight　since　you　were　in　love　with　Miss　Milroy；〃　said　the
other；　in　quiet；　measured　tones。

〃Pooh！　a　mere　flirtation。　It's　different　this　time。　I'm　in
earnest　about　Miss　Gwilt。〃

He　looked　round　as　he　spoke。　Midwinter　turned　his　face　aside　on
the　instant；　and　bent　it　over　a　book。

〃I　see　you　don't　approve　of　the　thing；〃　Allan　went　on。　〃Do　you
object　to　her　being　only　a　governess？　You　can't　do　that；　I'm
sure。　If　you　were　in　my　place；　her　being　only　a　governess
wouldn't　stand　in　the　way　with　_you？_〃

〃No；〃　said　Midwinter；　〃I　can't　honestly　say　it　would　stand　in　the
way　with　me。〃　He　gave　the　answer　reluctantly；　and　pushed　his
chair　back　out　of　the　light　of　the　lamp。

〃A　governess　is　a　lady　who　is　not　rich；〃　said　Allan；　in　an
oracular　manner；　〃and　a　duchess　is　a　lady　who　is　not　poor。　And
that's　all　the　difference　I　acknowledge　between　them。　Miss　Gwilt
is　older　than　I　amI　don't　deny　that。　What　age　do　you　guess　her
at；　Midwinter？　I　say；　seven　or　eight　and　twenty。　What　do　you
say？〃

〃Nothing。　I　agree　with　you。〃

〃Do　you　think　seven　or　eight　and　twenty　is　too　old　for　me？　If　you
were　in　love　with　a　woman　yourself；　you　wouldn't　think　seven　or
eight　and　twenty　too　oldwould　you？〃

〃I　can't　say　I　should　think　it　too　old；　if〃

〃If　you　were　really　fond　of　her？〃

Once　more　there　was　no　answer。

〃Well；〃　resumed　Allan；　〃if　there's　no　harm　in　her　being　only　a
governess；　and　no　harm　in　her　being　a　little　older　than　I　am；
what's　the　objection　to　Miss　Gwilt？〃

〃I　have　made　no　objection。〃

〃I　don't　say　you　have。　But　you　don't　seem　to　like　the　notion　of
it；　for　all　that。〃

There　was　another　pause。　Midwinter　was　the　first　to　break　the
silence　this　time。

〃Are　you　sure　of　yourself；　Allan？〃　he　asked；　with　his　face　bent
once　more　over　the　book。　〃Are　you　really　attached　to　this　lady？
Have　you　thought　seriously　already　of　asking　her　to　be　your
wife？〃

〃I　am　thinking　seriously　of　it　at　this　moment；〃　said　Allan。　〃I
can't　be　happyI　can't　live　without　her。　Upon　my　soul；　I　worship
the　very　ground　she　treads　on！〃

〃How　long〃　His　voice　faltered；　and　he　stopped。　〃How　long；〃　he
reiterated；　〃have　you　worshipped　the　very　ground　she　treads　on？〃

〃Longer　than　you　think　for。　I　know　I　can　trust　you　with　all　my
secrets〃

〃Don't　trust　me！〃

〃Nonsense！　I　_will_　trust　you。　There　is　a　little　difficulty　in
the　way　which　I　haven't　mentioned　yet。　It's　a　matter　of　some
delicacy；　and　I　want　to　consult　you　about　it。　Between　ourselves；
I　have　had　private　opportunities　with　Miss　Gwilt〃

Midwinter　suddenly　started　to　his　feet；　and　opened　the　door。

〃We'll　talk　of　this　to…morrow；〃　he　said。　〃Good…night。〃

Allan　looked　round　in　astonishment。　The　door　was　closed　again；
and　he　was　alone　in　the　room。

〃He　has　never　shaken　hands　with　me！〃　exclaimed　Allan；　looking
bewildered　at　the　empty　chair。

As　the　words　passed　his　lips　the　door　opened；　and　Midwinter
appeared　again。

〃We　haven't　shaken　hands；〃　he　said；　abruptly。　〃God　bless　you；
Allan！　We'll　talk　of　it　to…morrow。　Good…night。〃

Allan　stood　alone　at　the　window；　looking　out　at　the　pouring　rain。
He　felt　ill　at　ease；　without　knowing　why。　〃Midwinter's　ways　get
stranger　and　stranger；〃　he　thought。　〃What　can　he　mean　by　putting
me　off　till　to…morrow；　when　I　wanted　to　speak　to　him　to…night？〃
He　took　up　his　bedroom　candle　a　little　impatiently；　put　it　down
again；　and；　walking　back　to　the　open　window；　stood　looking　out　in
the　direction　of　the　cottage。　〃I　wonder　if　she's　thinking　of　me？〃
he　said　to　himself　softly。

She　_was_　thinking　of　him。　She　had　just　opened　her　desk　to　write
to　Mrs。　Oldershaw；　and　her　pen　had　that　moment　traced　the　opening
line：　〃Make　your　mind　easy。　I　have　got　him！〃

CHAPTER　XIII。

EXIT。

IT　rained　all　through　the　night；　and　when　the　morning　came　it　was
raining　still。

Contrary　to　his　ordinary　habit；　Midwinter　was　waiting　in　the
breakfast…room　when　Allan　entered　it。　He　looked　worn　and　weary；
but　his　smile　was　gentler　and　his　manner　more　composed　than
usual。　To　Allan's　surprise　he　approached　the　subject　of　the
previous　night's　conversation　of　his　own　accord　as　soon　as　the
servant　was　out　of　the　room。

〃I　am　afraid　you　thought　me　very　impatient　and　very　abrupt　with
you　last　night；〃　he　said。　〃I　will　try　to　make　amends　for　it　this
morning。　I　will　hear　everything　you　wish　to　say　to　me　on　the
subject　of　Miss　Gwilt。〃

〃I　hardly　like　to　worry　you；〃　said　Allan。　〃You　look　as　if　you　had
had　a　bad　night's　rest。〃

〃I　have　not　slept　well　for　some　time　past；〃　replied　Midwinter；
quietly。　〃Something　has　been　wrong　with　me。　But　I　believe　I　have
found　out　the　way　to　put　myself　right　again　without　troubling　the
doctors。　La