armadale-第66章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


found　out　the　way　to　put　myself　right　again　without　troubling　the
doctors。　Late　in　the　morning　I　shall　have　something　to　say　to　you
about　this。　Let　us　get　back　first　to　what　you　were　talking　of
last　night。　You　were　speaking　of　some　difficulty〃　He　hesitated；
and　finished　the　sentence　in　a　tone　so　low　that　Allan　failed　to
hear　him。　〃Perhaps　it　would　be　better；〃　he　went　on；　〃if；　instead
of　speaking　to　me；　you　spoke　to　Mr。　Brock？〃

〃I　would　rather　speak　to　_you；_〃　said　Allan。　〃But　tell　me　first；
was　I　right　or　wrong　last　night　in　thinking　you　disapproved　of　my
falling　in　love　with　Miss　Gwilt？〃

Midwinter's　lean；　nervous　fingers　began　to　crumble　the　bread　in
his　plate。　His　eyes　looked　away　from　Allan　for　the　first　time。

〃If　you　have　any　objection；〃　persisted　Allan；　〃I　should　like　to
hear　it。〃

Midwinter　suddenly　looked　up　again；　his　cheeks　turning　ashy　pale；
and　his　glittering　black　eyes　fixed　full　on　Allan's　face。

〃You　love　her；〃　he　said。　〃Does　_she_　love　_you？_〃

〃You　won't　think　me　vain？〃　returned　Allan。　〃I　told　you　yesterday
I　had　had　private　opportunities　with　her〃

Midwinter's　eyes　dropped　again　to　the　crumbs　on　his　plate。　〃I
understand；〃　he　interposed；　quickly。　〃You　were　wrong　last　night。
I　had　no　objections　to　make。〃

〃Don't　you　congratulate　me？〃　asked　Allan；　a　little　uneasily。
〃Such　a　beautiful　woman！　such　a　clever　woman！〃

Midwinter　h　eld　out　his　hand。　〃I　owe　you　more　than　mere
congratulations；〃　he　said。　〃In　anything　which　is　for　your
happiness　I　owe　you　help。〃　He　took　Allan's　hand；　and　wrung　it
hard。　〃Can　I　help　you？〃　he　asked；　growing　paler　and　paler　as　he
spoke。

〃My　dear　fellow；〃　exclaimed　Allan；　〃what　is　the　matter　with　you？
Your　hand　is　as　cold　as　ice。〃

Midwinter　smiled　faintly。　〃I　am　always　in　extremes；〃　he　said；　〃my
hand　was　as　hot　as　fire　the　first　time　you　took　it　at　the　old
west…country　inn。　Come　to　that　difficulty　which　you　have　not　come
to　yet。　You　are　young；　rich；　your　own　masterand　she　loves　you。
What　difficulty　can　there　be？〃

Allan　hesitated。　〃I　hardly　know　how　to　put　it；〃　he　replied。　〃As
you　said　just　now；　I　love　her；　and　she　loves　me；　and　yet　there　is
a　sort　of　strangeness　between　us。　One　talks　a　good　deal　about
one's　self　when　one　is　in　love；　at　least　I　do。　I've　told　her　all
about　myself　and　my　mother；　and　how　I　came　in　for　this　place；　and
the　rest　of　it。　Wellthough　it　doesn't　strike　me　when　we　are
togetherit　comes　across　me　now　and　then；　when　I'm　away　from
her；　that　she　doesn't　say　much　on　her　side。　In　fact；　I　know　no
more　about　her　than　you　do。〃

〃Do　you　mean　that　you　know　nothing　about　Miss　Gwilt's　family　and
friends？〃

〃That's　it；　exactly。〃

〃Have　you　never　asked　her　about　them？〃

〃I　said　something　of　the　sort　the　other　day；〃　returned　Allan：
〃and　I'm　afraid；　as　usual；　I　said　it　in　the　wrong　way。　She
lookedI　can't　quite　tell　you　how；　not　exactly　displeased；
butoh；　what　things　words　are！　I'd　give　the　world；　Midwinter；　if
I　could　only　find　the　right　word　when　I　want　it　as　well　as　you
do。〃

〃Did　Miss　Gwilt　say　anything　to　you　in　the　way　of　a　reply？〃

〃That's　just　what　I　was　coming　to。　She　said；　'I　shall　have　a
melancholy　story　to　tell　you　one　of　these　days；　Mr。　Armadale；
about　myself　and　my　family；　but　you　look　so　happy；　and　the
circumstances　are　so　distressing；　that　I　have　hardly　the　heart　to
speak　of　it　now。'　Ah；　_she_　can　express　herselfwith　the　tears
in　her　eyes；　my　dear　fellow；　with　the　tears　in　her　eyes！　Of
course；　I　changed　the　subject　directly。　And　now　the　difficulty　is
how　to　get　back　to　it；　delicately；　without　making　her　cry　again。
We　_must_　get　back　to　it；　you　know。　Not　on　my　account；　I　am　quite
content　to　marry　her　first　and　hear　of　her　family　misfortunes；
poor　thing；　afterward。　But　I　know　Mr。　Brock。　If　I　can't　satisfy
him　about　her　family　when　I　write　to　tell　him　of　this　（which；　of
course；　I　must　do）；　he　will　be　dead　against　the　whole　thing。　I'm
my　own　master；　of　course；　and　I　can　do　as　I　like　about　it。　But
dear　old　Brock　was　such　a　good　friend　to　my　poor　mother；　and　he
has　been　such　a　good　friend　to　meyou　see　what　I　mean；　don't
you？〃

〃Certainly；　Allan；　Mr。　Brock　has　been　your　second　father。　Any
disagreement　between　you　about　such　a　serious　matter　as　this
would　be　the　saddest　thing　that　could　happen。　You　ought　to
satisfy　him　that　Miss　Gwilt　is　（what　I　am　sure　Miss　Gwilt　will
prove　to　be）　worthy；　in　every　way　worthy〃　His　voice　sank　in
spite　of　him；　and　he　left　the　sentence　unfinished。

〃Just　my　feeling　in　the　matter！〃　Allan　struck　in；　glibly。　〃Now　we
can　come　to　what　I　particularly　wanted　to　consult　you　about。　If
this　was　your　case；　Midwinter；　you　would　be　able　to　say　the　right
words　to　heryou　would　put　it　delicately；　even　though　you　were
putting　it　quite　in　the　dark。　I　can't　do　that。　I　'm　a　blundering
sort　of　fellow；　and　I'm　horribly　afraid；　if　I　can't　get　some　hint
at　the　truth　to　help　me　at　starting；　of　saying　something　to
distress　her。　Family　misfortunes　are　such　tender　subjects　to
touch　on；　especially　with　such　a　refined　woman；　such　a
tender…hearted　woman；　as　Miss　Gwilt。　There　may　have　been　some
dreadful　death　in　the　familysome　relation　who　has　disgraced
himselfsome　infernal　cruelty　which　has　forced　the　poor　thing
out　on　the　world　as　a　governess。　Well；　turning　it　over　in　my
mind；　it　struck　me　that　the　major　might　be　able　to　put　me　on　the
right　tack。　It　is　quite　possible　that　he　might　have　been　informed
of　Miss　Gwilt's　family　circumstances　before　he　engaged　her；　isn't
it？〃

〃It　is　possible；　Allan；　certainly。〃

〃Just　my　feeling　again！　My　notion　is　to　speak　to　the　major。　If　I
could　only　get　the　story　from　him　first；　I　should　know　so　much
better　how　to　speak　to　Miss　Gwilt　about　it　afterward。　You　advise
me　to　try　the　major；　don't　you？〃

There　was　a　pause　before　Midwinter　replied。　When　he　did　answer；
it　was　a　little　reluctantly。

〃I　hardly　know　how　to　advise　you；　Allan；〃　he　said。　〃This　is　a
very　delicate　matter。〃

〃I　believe　you　would　try　the　major；　if　you　were　in　my　place；〃
returned　Allan；　reverting　to　his　inveterately　personal　way　of
putting　the　question。

〃Perhaps　I　might；〃　said　Midwinter；　more　and　more　unwillingly。
〃But　if　I　did　speak　to　the　major；　I　should　be　very　careful；　in
your　place；　not　to　put　myself　in　a　false　position。　I　should　be
very　careful　to　let　no　one　suspect　me　of　the　meanness　of　prying
into　a　woman's　secrets　behind　her　back。〃

Allan's　face　flushed。　〃Good　heavens；　Midwinter；〃　he　exclaimed；
〃who　could　suspect　me　of　that？〃

〃Nobody；　Allan；　who　really　knows　you。〃

〃The　major　knows　me。　The　major　is　the　last　man　in　the　world　to
misunderstand　me。　All　I　want　him　to　do　is　to　help　me　（if　he　can）
to　speak　about　a　delicate　subject　to　Miss　Gwilt；　without　hurting
her　feelings。　Can　anything　be　simpler　between　two　gentlemen？〃

Instead　of　replying；　Midwinter；　still　speaking　as　constrainedly
as　ever；　asked　a　question　on　his　side。　〃Do　you　mean　to　tell　Major
Milroy；〃　he　said；　〃what　your　intentions　really　are　toward　Miss
Gwilt？〃

Allan's　manner　altered。　He　hesitated；　and　looked　confused。

〃I　have　been　thinking　of　that；〃　he　replied；　〃and　I　mean　to　feel
my　way　first；　and　then　tell　him　or　not　afterward；　as　matters　turn
out？〃

A　proceeding　so　cautious　as　this　was　too　strikingly　inconsistent
with　Allan's　character　not　to　surprise　any　one　who　knew　him。
Midwinter　showed　his　surprise　plainly。

〃You　forget　that　foolish　flirtation　of　mine　with　Miss　Milroy；〃
Allan　went　on；　more　and　more　confusedly。　〃The　major　may　have
noticed　it；　and　may　have　thought　I　meantwell；　what　I　didn't
mean。　It　might　be　rather　awkward；　mightn't　it；　to　propose　to　his
face　for　his　governess　instead　of　his　daughter？〃

He　waited　for　a　word　of　answer；　but　none　came。　Midwinter　opened
his　lips　to　speak；　and　suddenly　checked　himself。　Allan；　uneasy　at
his　silence；　doubly　uneasy　under　certain　recollections　of　the
major's　daughter　which　the　conversation　had　called　up；　rose　from
the　table　and　shortened　the　interview　a　little　impatiently。

〃Come！　come！〃　he　said；　〃don't　sit　there　looking　unutterable
things；　don't　make　mountains　out　of　mole…hills。　You　have　such　an
old；　old　head；　Midwinter；　on　those　young　shoulders　of　yours！
Let's　have　done　with　all　these　_pros_　and　_cons。_。　Do　you　mean　to
tell　me　in　plain　words　that　it　won't　do　to　speak　to　the　major？〃

〃I　can't　take　the　responsibility；　Allan；　of　telling　you　that。　To
be　plainer　still；　I　can't　feel　confident　of　the　soundness　of　any
advice　I　may　give　you　inin　our　present　position　toward　each
other。　All　I　am　sure　of　is　that　I　cannot　possibly　be　wrong　in
entreating　you　to　do　two　things。〃

〃What　are　they？〃

〃If　you　speak　to　Major　Milroy；　pray　remember　the　caution　I　have
given　you！　Pray　think　of　what　you　say　before　you　say　it！〃

〃I'll　think；　never　fear！　What　next？〃

〃Before　you　take　any　serious　step　in　this　matter；　write　and　tell
Mr。　Brock。　Will　you　promise　me　to　do　that？〃

〃With　all　my　heart。　Anything　more？〃

〃Nothing　more。　I　have　said　my　last　words。〃

Allan　led　the　way　to　the　door。　〃Come　into　my　room；〃　he　said；　〃and
I'll　give　you　a　cigar。　The　servants　will　be　in　here　directly　to
clear　away；　and　I　want　to　go　on　talking　about　Miss　Gwilt。〃

〃Don't　wait　for　me；〃　said　Midwinter；　〃I'll　follow　you　in　a　minute
or　two。〃

He　remained　seated　until　Allan　had　closed　the　door；　then　rose；
and　took　from　a　corner　of　the　room；　where　it　lay　hidden　behind
one　of　the　curtains；　a　knapsack　ready　packed　for　traveling。　As　he
stood　at　the　window　thinking；　with　the　knapsack　in　his　hand；　a
strangely　old；　care…worn　look　stole　over　his　face：　he　seemed　to
lose　the　last　of　his　youth　in　an　instant。


What　the　woman's　quicker　insight　had　discovered　days　since；　the
man's　slower　perception　had　only　realized　in　the　past　night。　The
pang　that　had　wrung　him　when　he　heard　Allan's　avowal　had　set　the
truth　self…revealed　before　Midwinter　for　the　first　time。　He　had
been　conscious　of　looking　at　Miss　Gwilt　with　new　eyes　and　a　new
mind；　on　the　next　occasion　when　they　met　after　the　memorable
interview　in　Major　Milroy's　garden；　but　he　had　never　until　now
known　the　passion　that　she　had　roused　in　him　for　what　it　really
was。　Knowing　it　at　last；　feeling　it　consciously　in　full
possession　of　him；　he　had　the　courage　which　no　man　with　a　happier
experience　of　life　would　have　possessedthe　courage　to　recall
what　Allan　had　confided　to　him；　and　to　look　resolutely　at　the
future　through　his　own　grateful　remembrances　of　the　past。

Steadfastly；　through　the　sleepless　hours　of　the　night；　he　had
bent　his　mind　to　the　conviction　that　he　must　conquer　the　passion
which　had　taken　possession　of　him；　for　Allan's　sake；　and　that　the
one　way　to　conquer　it　wasto　go。　No　after…doubt　as　to　the
sacrifice　had　troubled　him　when　morning　came；　and　no　after…doubt
troubled　him　now。　The　one　question　that　kept　him　hesitating　was
the　question　of　leaving　Thorpe　Ambrose。　Though　Mr。　Brock's　letter
relieved　him　from　all　necessity　of　keeping　watch　in　Norfolk　for　a
woman　who　was　known　to　be　in　Somersetshire；　though　the　duties　of
the　steward's　office　were　duties　which　might　be　safely　left　in
Mr。　Bashwood's　tried　and　trustworthy　handsstill；　admitting
these　considerations；　his　mind　was　not　easy　at　the　thought　of
leaving　Allan；　at　a　time　when　a　crisis　was　approaching　in　Allan'