飘-第58章

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sed；　she　became　more　sure　in　her　own　mind　of　his　devotion；　more　certain　he　would　arrange　matters　satisfactorily　when　the　Yankees　were　finally　beaten。　Of　course；　he　had　said　the　Yankees　“had”　them。　Scarlett　thought　that　was　just　foolishness。　He　had　been　tired　and　upset　when　he　said　it。　But　she　hardly　cared　whether　the　Yankees　won　or　not。　The　thing　that　mattered　was　for　the　war　to　finish　quickly　and　for　Ashley　to　come　home。
　Then；　when　the　sleets　of　March　were　keeping　everyone　indoors；　the　hideous　blow　fell。　Melanie；　her　eyes　shining　with　joy；　her　head　ducked　with　embarrassed　pride；　told　her　she　was　going　to　have　a　baby。
　“Dr。　Meade　says　it　will　be　here　in　late　August　or　September；”　she　said。　“I’ve　thought—but　I　wasn’t　sure　till　today。　Oh；　Scarlett；　isn’t　it　wonderful？　I’ve　so　envied　you　Wade　and　so　wanted　a　baby。　And　I　was　so　afraid　that　maybe　I　wasn’t　ever　going　to　have　one　and；　darling；　I　want　a　dozen！”
　Scarlett　had　been　combing　her　hair；　preparing　for　bed；　when　Melanie　spoke　and　she　stopped；　the　comb　in　mid…air。
　“Dear　God！”　she　said　and；　for　a　moment；　realization　did　not　come。　Then　there　suddenly　leaped　to　her　mind　the　closed　door　of　Melanie’s　bedroom　and　a　knifelike　pain　went　through　her；　a　pain　as　fierce　as　though　Ashley　had　been　her　own　husband　and　had　been　unfaithful　to　her。　A　baby。　Ashley’s　baby。　Oh；　how　could　he；　when　he　loved　her　and　not　Melanie？
　“I　know　you’re　surprised；”　Melanie　rattled　on；　breathlessly。　“And　isn’t　it　too　wonderful？　Oh；　Scarlett；　I　don’t　know　how　I　shall　ever　write　Ashley！　It　wouldn’t　be　so　embarrassing　if　I　could　tell　him　or—or—well；　not　say　anything　and　just　let　him　notice　gradually；　you　know—”
　“Dear　God！”　said　Scarlett；　almost　sobbing；　as　she　dropped　the　comb　and　caught　at　the　marble　top　of　the　dresser　for　support。
　“Darling；　don’t　look　like　that！　You　know　having　a　baby　isn’t　so　bad。　You　said　so　yourself。　And　you　mustn’t　worry　about　me；　though　you　are　sweet　to　be　so　upset。　Of　course；　Dr。　Meade　said　I　was—was；”　Melanie　blushed；　“quite　narrow　but　that　perhaps　I　shouldn’t　have　any　trouble　and—　Scarlett；　did　you　write　Charlie　and　tell　him　when　you　found　out　about　Wade；　or　did　your　mother　do　it　or　maybe　Mr。　O’Hara？　Oh；　dear；　if　I　only　had　a　mother　to　do　it！　I　just　don’t　see　how—”
　“Hush！”　said　Scarlett；　violently。　“Hush！”
　“Oh；　Scarlett；　I’m　so　stupid！　I’m　sorry。　I　guess　all　happy　people　are　selfish。　I　forgot　about　Charlie；　just　for　the　moment—”
　“Hush！”　said　Scarlett　again；　fighting　to　control　her　face　and　make　her　emotions　quiet。　Never；　never　must　Melanie　see　or　suspect　how　she　felt。
　Melanie；　the　most　tactful　of　women；　had　tears　in　her　eyes　at　her　own　cruelty。　How　could　she　have　brought　back　to　Scarlett　the　terrible　memories　of　Wade　being　born　months　after　poor　Charlie　was　dead？　How　could　she　have　been　so　thoughtless？
　“Let　me　help　you　undress；　dearest；”　she　said　humbly。　“And　I’ll　rub　your　head　for　you。”
　“You　leave　me　alone；”　said　Scarlett；　her　face　like　stone。　And　Melanie；　bursting　into　tears　of　self…condemnation；　fled　the　room；　leaving　Scarlett　to　a　tearless　bed；　with　wounded　pride；　disillusionment　and　jealousy　for　bedfellows。
　She　thought　that　she　could　not　live　any　longer　in　the　same　house　with　the　woman　who　was　carrying　Ashley’s　child；　thought　that　she　would　go　home　to　Tara；　home；　where　she　belonged。　She　did　not　see　how　she　could　ever　look　at　Melanie　again　and　not　have　her　secret　read　in　her　face。　And　she　arose　the　next　morning　with　the　fixed　intention　of　packing　her　trunk　immediately　after　breakfast。　But；　as　they　sat　at　the　table；　Scarlett　silent　and　gloomy；　Pitty　bewildered　and　Melanie　miserable；　a　telegram　came。
　It　was　to　Melanie　from　Ashley’s　body　servant；　Mose。
　“I　have　looked　everywhere　and　I　can’t　find　him。　Must　I　come　home？”
　No　one　knew　what　it　meant　but　the　eyes　of　the　three　women　went　to　one　another；　wide　with　terror；　and　Scarlett　forgot　all　thoughts　of　going　home。　Without　finishing　their　breakfasts　they　drove　down　to　telegraph　Ashley’s　colonel；　but　even　as　they　entered　the　office；　there　was　a　telegram　from　him。
　“Regret　to　inform　you　Major　Wilkes　missing　since　scouting　expedition　three　days　ago。　Will　keep　you　informed。”
　It　was　a　ghastly　trip　home；　with　Aunt　Pitty　crying　into　her　handkerchief；　Melanie　sitting　erect　and　white　and　Scarlett　slumped；　stunned　in　the　corner　of　the　carriage。　Once　in　the　house；　Scarlett　stumbled　up　the　stairs　to　her　bedroom　and；　clutching　her　Rosary　from　the　table；　dropped　to　her　knees　and　tried　to　pray。　But　the　prayers　would　not　come。　There　only　fell　on　her　an　abysmal　fear；　a　certain　knowledge　that　God　had　turned　His　face　from　her　for　her　sin。　She　had　loved　a　married　man　and　tried　to　take　him　from　his　wife；　and　God　had　punished　her　by　killing　him。　She　wanted　to　pray　but　she　could　not　raise　her　eyes　to　Heaven。　She　wanted　to　cry　but　the　tears　would　not　come。　They　seemed　to　flood　her　chest；　and　they　were　hot　tears　that　burned　under　her　bosom；　but　they　would　not　flow。
　Her　door　opened　and　Melanie　entered。　Her　face　was　like　a　heart　cut　from　white　paper；　framed　against　black　hair；　and　her　eyes　were　wide；　like　those　of　a　frightened　child　lost　in　the　dark。
　“Scarlett；”　she　said；　putting　out　her　hands。　“You　must　forgive　me　for　what　I　said　yesterday；　for　you’re—all　I’ve　got　now。　Oh；　Scarlett；　I　know　my　darling　is　dead！”
　Somehow；　she　was　in　Scarlett’s　arms；　her　small　breasts　heaving　with　sobs；　and　somehow　they　were　lying　on　the　bed；　holding　each　other　close；　and　Scarlett　was　crying　too；　crying　with　her　face　pressed　close　against　Melanie’s；　the　tears　of　one　wetting　the　cheeks　of　the　other。　It　hurt　so　terribly　to　cry；　but　not　so　much　as　not　being　able　to　cry。　Ashley　is　dead—dead；　she　thought；　and　I　have　killed　him　by　loving　him！　Fresh　sobs　broke　from　her；　and　Melanie　somehow　feeling　comfort　in　her　tears　tightened　her　arms　about　her　neck。
　“At　least；”　she　whispered；　“at　least—I’ve　got　his　baby。”
　“And　I；”　thought　Scarlett；　too　stricken　now　for　anything　so　petty　as　jealousy；　I’ve　got　nothing—nothing—nothing　except　the　look　on　his　face　when　he　told　me　good…by。”
　
　The　first　reports　were　“Missing—believed　killed”　and　so　they　appeared　on　the　casualty　list。　Melanie　telegraphed　Colonel　Sloan　a　dozen　times　and　finally　a　letter　arrived；　full　of　sympathy；　explaining　that　Ashley　and　a　squad　had　ridden　out　on　a　scouting　expedition　and　had　not　returned。　There　had　been　reports　of　a　slight　skirmish　within　the　Yankee　lines　and　Mose；　frantic　with　grief；　had　risked　his　own　life　to　search　for　Ashley’s　body　but　had　found　nothing。　Melanie；　strangely　calm　now；　telegraphed　him　money　and　instructions　to　come　home。
　When　“Missing—believed　captured”　appeared　on　the　casualty　lists；　joy　and　hope　reanimated　the　sad　household。　Melanie　could　hardly　be　dragged　away　from　the　telegraph　office　and　she　met　every　train　hoping　for　letters。　She　was　sick　now；　her　pregnancy　making　itself　felt　in　many　unpleasant　ways；　but　she　refused　to　obey　Dr。　Meade’s　commands　and　stay　in　bed。　A　feverish　energy　possessed　her　and　would　not　let　her　be　still；　and　at　night；　long　after　Scarlett　had　gone　to　bed；　she　could　hear　her　walking　the　floor　in　the　next　room。
　One　afternoon；　she　came　home　from　town；　driven　by　the　frightened　Uncle　Peter　and　supported　by　Rhett　Butler。　She　had　fainted　at　the　telegraph　office　and　Rhett；　passing　by　and　observing　the　excitement；　had　escorted　her　home。　He　carried　her　up　the　stairs　to　her　bedroom　and　while　the　alarmed　household　fled　hither　and　you　for　hot　bricks；　blankets　and　whisky；　he　propped　her　on　the　pillows　of　her　bed。
　“Mrs。　Wilkes；”　he　questioned　abruptly；　“you　are　going　to　have　a　baby；　are　you　not？”
　Had　Melanie　not　been　so　faint；　so　sick；　so　heartsore；　she　would　have　collapsed　at　his　question。　Even　with　women　friends　she　was　embarrassed　by　any　mention　of　her　condition；　while　visits　to　Dr。　Meade　were　agonizing　experiences。　And　for　a　man；　especially　Rhett　Butler；　to　ask　such　a　question　was　unthinkable。　But　lying　weak　and　forlorn　in　the　bed；　she　could　only　nod。　After　she　had　nodded；　it　did　not　seem　so　dreadful；　for　he　looked　so　kind　and　so　concerned。
　“Then　you　must　take　better　care　of　yourself。　All　this　running　about　and　worry　won’t　help　you　and　may　harm　the　baby。　If　you　will　permit　me；　Mrs。　Wilkes；　I　will　use　what　influence　I　have　in　Washington　to　learn　about　Mr。　Wilkes’　fate。　If　he　is　a　prisoner；　he　will　be　on　the　Federal　lists；　and　if　he　isn’t—well；　there’s　nothing　worse　than　uncertainty。　But　I　must　have　your　promise。　Take　care　of　yourself　or；　before　God；　I　won’t　turn　a　hand。”
　“Oh；　you　are　so　kind；”　cried　Melanie。　“How　can　people　say　such　dreadful　things　about　you？”　Then　overcome　with　the　knowledge　of　her　tactlessness　and　also　with　horror　at　having　discussed　her　condition　with　a　man；　she　began　to　cry　weakly。　And　Scarlett；　flying　up　the　stairs　with　a　hot　brick　wrapped　in　flannel；　found　Rhett　patting　her　hand。
　He　was　as　good　as　his　word。　They　never　knew　what　wires　he　pulled。　They　feared　to　ask；　knowing　it　might　involve　an　admission　of　his　too　close　affiliations　with　the　Yankees。　It　was　a　month　before　he　had　news；　news　that　raised　them　to　the　heights　when　they　first　heard　it；　but　later　created　a　gnawing　anxiety　In　their　hearts。
　Ashley　was　not　dead！　He　had　been　wounded　and　taken　prisoner；　and　the　records　showed　that　he　was　at　Rock　Island；　a　prison　camp　in　Illinois。　In　their　first　joy；　they　could　think　of　nothing　except　that　he　was　alive。　But；　when　calmness　began　to　return；　they　looked　at　one　another　and　said　“Rock　Island！”　in　the　same　voice　they　would　have　said　“In　Hell！”　For　even　as　Andersonville　was　a　name　that　stank　in　the　North；　so　was　Rock　Island　one　to　bring　terror　to　the　heart　of　any　Southerner　who　had　relatives　imprisoned　there。
　When　Lincoln　refused　to　exchange　prisoners；　believing　it　would　hasten　the　end　of　the　war　to　burden　the　Confederacy　with　the　feeding　and　guarding　of　Union　prisoners；　there　were　thousands　of　bluecoats　at　Andersonville；　Georgia。　The　Confederates　were　on　scant　rations　and　practically　without　drugs　or　bandages　for　their　own　sick　and　wounded。　They　had　little　to　share　with　the　prisoners。　They　fed　their　prisoners　on　what　the　soldiers　in　the　field　were　eating；　fat　pork　and　dried　peas；　and　on　this　diet　the　Yankees　died　like　flies；　sometimes　a　hundred　a　day。　Inflamed　by　the　reports；　the　North　resorted　to　harsher　treatment　of　Confederate　prisoners　and　at　no　place　were　conditions　worse　than　at　Rock　Island。　Food　was　scanty；　one　blanket　for　three　men；　and　the　ravages　of　smallpox；　pneumonia　and　typhoid　gave　the　place　the　name　of　a　pesthouse。　Three…fourths　of　all　the　men　sent　there　never　came　out　alive。
　And　Ashley　was　in　that　horrible　place！　Ashley　was　alive　but　he　was　wounded　and　at　Rock　Island；　and　the　snow　must　have　been　deep　in　Illinois　when　he　was　taken　there。　Had　he　died　of　his　wound；　since　Rhett　had　learned　his　news？　Had　he　fallen　victim　to　smallpox？　Was　he　delirious　with　pneumonia　and　no　blanket　to　cover　him？
　“Oh；　Captain　Butler；　isn’t　there　some　way—　Can’t　you　use　your　influence　and　have　him　exchanged？”　cried　Melanie。
　“Mr。　Lincoln；　the　merciful　and　just；　who　cries　large　tears　over　Mrs。　Bixby’s　five　boys；　hasn’t　any　tears　to　shed　about　the　thousands　of　Yankees　dying　at　Ander