飘-第79章

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　“Hurry。　Don’t　stop！”
　“Let　the　animal　breathe　a　bit。”　Then　turning　to　her；　he　asked　slowly：　“Scarlett；　are　you　still　determined　to　do　this　crazy　thing？”
　“Do　what？’
　“Do　you　still　want　to　try　to　get　through　to　Tara？　It’s　suicidal。　Steve　Lee’s　cavalry　and　the　Yankee　Army　are　between　you　and　Tara。”
　Oh；　Dear　God！　Was　he　going　to　refuse　to　take　her　home；　after　all　she’d　gone　through　this　terrible　day？
　“Oh；　yes！　Yes！　Please；　Rhett；　let’s　hurry。　The　horse　isn’t　tired。”
　“Just　a　minute。　You　can’t　go　down　to　Jonesboro　on　this　road。　You　can’t　follow　the　train　tracks。　They’ve　been　fighting　up　and　down　mere　all　day　from　Rough　and　Ready　on　south。　Do　you　know　any　other　roads；　small　wagon　roads　or　lanes　that　don’t　go　through　Rough　and　Ready　or　Jonesboro？”
　“Oh；　yes；”　cried　Scarlett　in　relief。　“If　we　can　just　get　near　to　Rough　and　Ready；　I　know　a　wagon　trace　that　winds　off　from　the　main　Jonesboro　road　and　wanders　around　for　miles。　Pa　and　I　used　to　ride　it。　It　comes　out　right　near　the　Macintosh　place　and　that’s　only　a　mile　from　Tara。”
　“Good。　Maybe　you　can　get　past　Rough　and　Ready　all　right。　General　Steve　Lee　was　there　during　the　afternoon　covering　the　retreat　Maybe　the　Yankees　aren’t　there　yet。　Maybe　you　can　get　through　there；　if　Steve　Lee’s　men　don’t　pick　up　your　horse。”
　“I　can　get　through？”
　“Yes；　you。”　His　voice　was　rough。
　“But　Rhett—　You—Aren’t　going　to　take　us？”
　“No。　I’m　leaving　you　here。”
　She　looked　around　wildly；　at　the　livid　sky　behind　them；　at　the　dark　trees　on　either　hand　hemming　them　in　like　a　prison　wall；　at　the　frightened　figures　in　the　back　of　the　wagon—and　finally　at　him。　Had　she　gone　crazy？　Was　she　not　hearing　right？
　He　was　grinning　now。　She　could　just　see　his　white　teeth　in　the　faint　light　and　the　old　mockery　was　back　in　his　eyes。
　“Leaving　us？　Where—where　are　you　going？”
　“I　am　going；　dear　girl；　with　the　army。”
　She　sighed　with　relief　and　irritation。　Why　did　he　joke　at　this　time　of　all　times？　Rhett　in　the　army！　After　all　he’d　said　about　stupid　fools　who　were　enticed　into　losing　their　lives　by　a　roll　of　drums　and　brave　words　from　orators—fools　who　killed　themselves　that　wise　men　might　make　money！
　“Oh；　I　could　choke　you　for　scaring　me　so！　Let’s　get　on。”
　I’m　not　joking；　my　dear。　And　I　am　hurt；　Scarlett　that　you　do　not　take　my　gallant　sacrifice　with　better　spirit。　Where　is　your　patriotism；　your　love　for　Our　Glorious　Cause？　Now　is　your　chance　to　tell　me　to　return　with　my　shield　or　on　it。　But；　talk　fast；　for　I　want　time　to　make　a　brave　speech　before　departing　for　the　wars。”
　His　drawling　voice　gibed　in　her　ears。　He　was　jeering　at　her　and；　somehow；　she　knew　he　was　jeering　at　himself　too。　What　was　he　talking　about？　Patriotism；　shields；　brave　speeches？　It　wasn’t　possible　that　he　meant　what　he　was　saying。　It　just　wasn’t　believable　that　he　could　talk　so　blithely　of　leaving　her　here　on　this　dark　road　with　a　woman　who　might　be　dying；　a　new…born　infant；　a　foolish　black　wench　and　a　frightened　child；　leaving　her　to　pilot　them　through　miles　of　battle　fields　and　stragglers　and　Yankees　and　fire　and　God　knows　what。
　Once；　when　she　was　six　years　old；　she　had　fallen　from　a　tree；　flat　on　her　stomach。　She　could　still　recall　that　sickening　interval　before　breath　came　back　into　her　body。　Now；　as　she　looked　at　Rhett；　she　felt　the　same　way　she　had　felt　then；　breathless；　stunned；　nauseated。
　“Rhett；　you　are　joking！”
　She　grabbed　his　arm　and　felt　her　tears　of　fright　splash　down　her　wrist。　He　raised　her　hand　and　kissed　it　arily。
　“Selfish　to　the　end；　aren’t　you；　my　dear？　Thinking　only　of　your　own　precious　hide　and　not　of　the　gallant　Confederacy。　Think　how　our　troops　will　be　heartened　by　my　eleventh…hour　appearance。”　There　was　a　malicious　tenderness　in　his　voice。
　“Oh；　Rhett；”　she　wailed；　“how　can　you　do　this　to　me？　Why　are　you　leaving　me？”
　“Why？”　he　laughed　jauntily。　“Because；　perhaps；　of　the　betraying　sentimentality　that　lurks　in　all　of　us　Southerners。　Perhaps—perhaps　because　I　am　ashamed。　Who　knows？”
　“Ashamed？　You　should　die　of　shame。　To　desert　us　here；　alone；　helpless—”
　“Dear　Scarlett！　You　aren’t　helpless。　Anyone　as　selfish　and　determined　as　you　are　is　never　helpless。　God　help　the　Yankees　if　they　should　get　you。”
　He　stepped　abruptly　down　from　the　wagon　and；　as　she　watched　him；　stunned　with　bewilderment；　he　came　around　to　her　side　of　the　wagon。
　“Get　out；”　he　ordered。
　She　stared　at　him。　He　reached　up　roughly；　caught　her　under　the　arms　and　swung　her　to　the　ground　beside　him。　With　a　tight　grip　on　her　he　dragged　her　several　paces　away　from　the　wagon。　She　felt　the　dust　and　gravel　in　her　slippers　hurting　her　feet。　The　still　hot　darkness　wrapped　her　like　a　dream。
　“I’m　not　asking　you　to　understand　or　forgive。　I　don’t　give　a　damn　whether　you　do　either；　for　I　shall　never　understand　or　forgive　myself　for　this　idiocy。　I　am　annoyed　at　myself　to　find　that　so　much　quixoticism　still　lingers　in　me。　But　our　fair　Southland　needs　every　man。　Didn’t　our　brave　Governor　Brown　say　just　that？　Not　matter。　I’m　off　to　the　wars。”　He　laughed　suddenly；　a　ringing；　free　laugh　that　startled　the　echoes　in　the　dark　woods。
　“　‘I　could　not　love　thee；　Dear；　so　much；　loved　I　not　Honour　more。’　That’s　a　pat　speech；　isn’t　it？　Certainly　better　than　anything　I　can　think　up　myself；　at　the　present　moment。　For　I　do　love　you；　Scarlett；　in　spite　of　what　I　said　that　night　on　the　porch　last　month。”
　His　drawl　was　caressing　and　his　hands　slid　tip　her　bare　arms；　warm　strong　hands。　I　love　you；　Scarlett；　because　we　are　so　much　alike；　renegades；　both　of　us；　dear；　and　selfish　rascals。　Neither　of　us　cares　a　rap　if　the　whole　world　goes　to　pot　so　long　as　we　are　safe　and　comfortable。”
　His　voice　went　on　in　the　darkness　and　she　heard　words；　but　they　made　no　sense　to　her。　Her　mind　was　tiredly　trying　to　take　in　the　harsh　truth　that　he　was　leaving　her　here　to　face　the　Yankees　alone。　Her　mind　said：　“He’s　leaving　me。　He’s　leaving　me。”　But　no　emotion　stirred。
　Then　his　arms　went　around　her　waist　and　shoulders　and　she　felt　the　hard　muscles　of　his　thighs　against　her　body　and　the　buttons　of　his　coat　pressing　into　her　breast　A　warm　tide　of　feeling；　bewildering；　frightening；　swept　over　her；　carrying　out　of　her　mind　the　time　and　place　and　circumstances。　She　felt　as　limp　as　a　rag　doll；　warm；　weak　and　helpless；　and　his　supporting　arms　were　so　pleasant。
　“You　don’t　want　to　change　your　mind　about　what　I　said　last　month？　There’s　nothing　like　danger　and　death　to　give　an　added　fillip。　Be　patriotic；　Scarlett　Think　how　you　would　be　sending　a　soldier　to　his　death　with　beautiful　memories。”
　He　was　kissing　her　now　and　his　mustache　tickled　her　mouth；　kissing　her　with　slow；　hot　lips　that　were　so　leisurely　as　though　he　had　the　whole　night　before　him。　Charles　had　never　kissed　her　like　this。　Never　had　the　kisses　of　the　Tarleton　and　Calvert　boys　made　her　go　hot　and　cold　and　shaky　like　this。　He　bent　her　body　backward　and　his　lips　traveled　down　her　throat　to　where　the　cameo　fastened　her　basque。
　“Sweet；”　he　whispered。　“Sweet。”
　She　saw　the　wagon　dimly　in　the　dark　and　heard　the　treble　piping　of　Wade’s　voice。
　“Muvver！　Wade　fwightened！”
　Into　her　swaying；　darkened　mind；　cold　sanity　came　back　with　a　rush　and　she　remembered　what　she　had　forgotten　for　the　moment—that　she　was　frightened　too；　and　Rhett　was　leaving　her；　leaving　her；　the　damned　cad。　And　on　top　of　it　all；　he　had　the　consummate　gall　to　stand　here　in　the　road　and　insult　her　with　his　infamous　proposals。　Rage　and　hate　flowed　into　her　and　stiffened　her　spine　and　with　one　wrench　she　tore　herself　loose　from　his　arms。
　“Oh；　you　cad！”　she　cried　and　her　mind　leaped　about；　trying　to　think　of　worse　things　to　call　him；　things　she　had　heard　Gerald　call　Mr。　Lincoln；　the　Macintoshes　and　balky　mules；　but　the　words　would　not　come。　“You　low…down；　cowardly；　nasty；　stinking　thing！”　And　because　she　could　not　think　of　anything　crushing　enough；　she　drew　back　her　arm　and　slapped　him　across　the　mouth　with　all　the　force　she　had　left。　He　took　a　step　backward；　his　hand　going　to　his　face。
　“Ah；”　he　said　quietly　and　for　a　moment　they　stood　facing　each　other　in　the　darkness。　Scarlett　could　hear　his　heavy　breathing；　and　her　own　breath　came　in　gasps　as　if　she　had　been　running　hard。
　“They　were　right！　Everybody　was　right！　You　aren’t　a　gentleman！”
　“My　dear　girl；”　he　said；　“how　inadequate。”
　She　knew　he　was　laughing　and　the　thought　goaded　her。
　“Go　on！　Go　on　now！　I　want　you　to　hurry。　I　don’t　want　to　ever　see　you　again。　I　hope　a　cannon　ball　lands　right　on　you。　I　hope　it　blows　you　to　a　million　pieces。　I—”
　“Never　mind　the　rest。　I　follow　your　general　idea。　When　I’m　dead　on　the　altar　of　my　country；　I　hope　your　conscience　hurts　you。”
　She　heard　him　laugh　as　he　turned　away　and　walked　back　toward　the　wagon。　She　saw　him　stand　beside　it；　heard　him　speak　and　his　voice　was　changed；　courteous　and　respectful　as　it　always　was　when　he　spoke　to　Melanie。
　“Mrs。　Wilkes？”
　Prissy’s　frightened　voice　made　answer　from　the　wagon。
　“Gawdlmighty。　Cap’n　Butler！　Miss　Melly　done　fainted　away　back　yonder。”
　“She’s　not　dead？　Is　she　breathing？”
　“Yassuh；　she　breathin’。”
　“Then　she’s　probably　better　off　as　she　is。　If　she　were　conscious；　I　doubt　if　she　could　live　through　all　the　pain。　Take　good　care　of　her；　Prissy。　Here’s　a　shinplaster　for　you。　Try　not　to　be　a　bigger　fool　than　you　are。”
　“Yassuh。　Thankee　suh。”
　“Good…by；　Scarlett。”
　She　knew　he　had　turned　and　was　facing　her　but　she　did　not　speak。　Hate　choked　all　utterance。　His　feet　ground　on　the　pebbles　of　the　road　and　for　a　moment　she　saw　his　big　shoulders　looming　up　in　the　dark。　Then　he　was　gone。　She　could　hear　the　sound　of　his　feet　for　a　while　and　then　they　died　away。　She　came　slowly　back　to　the　wagon；　her　knees　shaking。
　Why　had　he　gone；　stepping　off　into　the　dark；　into　the　war；　into　a　Cause　that　was　lost；　into　a　world　that　was　mad？　Why　had　he　gone；　Rhett　who　loved　the　pleasures　of　women　and　liquor；　the　comfort　of　good　food　and　soft　beds；　the　feel　of　fine　linen　and　good　leather；　who　hated　the　South　and　jeered　at　the　fools　who　fought　for　it？　Now　he　had　set　his　varnished　boots　upon　a　bitter　road　where　hunger　tramped　with　tireless　stride　and　wounds　and　weariness　and　heartbreak　ran　like　yelping　wolves。　And　the　end　of　the　road　was　death。　He　need　not　have　gone。　He　was　safe；　rich；　comfortable。　But　he　had　gone；　leaving　her　alone　in　a　night　as　black　as　blindness；　with　the　Yankee　Army　between　her　and　home。
　Now　she　remembered　all　the　bad　names　she　had　wanted　to　call　him　but　it　was　too　late。　She　leaned　her　head　against　the　bowed　neck　of　the　horse　and　cried。
　
　CHAPTER　XXIV
　THE　BRIGHT　GLARE　of　morning　sunlight　streaming　through　the　trees　overhead　awakened　Scarlett。　For　a　moment；　stiffened　by　the　cramped　position　in　which　she　had　slept；　she　could　not　remember　where　she　was。　The　sun　blinded　her；　the　hard　boards　of　the　wagon　under　her　were　harsh　against　her　body；　and　a　heavy　weight　lay　across　her　legs。　She　tried　to　sit　up　and　discovered　that　the　weight　was　Wade　who　lay　sleeping　with　his　head　pillowed　on　her　knees。　Melanie’s　bare　feet　were　almost　in　her　face　and；　under　the　wagon　seat；　Prissy　was　curled　up　like　a　black　cat　with　the　small　baby　we