飘-第86章
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of him or Mother or any of these awful things now。 No； not till I can stand it。 There are too many other things to think about—things that can be helped without my thinking of those I can’t help。”
She left the dining room without eating； and went out onto the back porch where she found Pork； barefooted and in the ragged remains of his best livery； sitting on the steps cracking peanuts。 Her head was hammering and throbbing and the bright sunlight stabbed into her eyes。 Merely holding herself erect required an effort of will power and she talked as briefly as possible； dispensing with the usual forms of courtesy her mother had always taught her to use with negroes。
She began asking questions so brusquely and giving orders so decisively Pork’s eyebrows went up in mystification。 Miss Ellen didn’t never talk so short to nobody； not even when she caught them stealing pullets and watermelons。 She asked again about the fields； the gardens； the stock； and her green eyes had a hard bright glaze which Pork had never seen in them before。
“Yas’m； dat hawse daid； lyin’ dar whar Ah tie him wid his nose in de water bucket he tuhned over。 No’m； de cow ain’ daid。 Din’ you know？ She done have a calf las’ night Dat why she beller so。”
“A fine midwife your Prissy will make；” Scarlett remarked caustically。 “She said she was bellowing because she needed milking。”
“Well’m； Prissy ain’ fixin’ ter be no cow midwife； Miss Scarlett；” Pork said tactfully。 “An’ ain’ no use quarrelin’ wid blessin’s； ‘cause dat calf gwine ter mean a full cow an’ plen’y buttermilk fer de young Misses； lak dat Yankee doctah say dey’ need。”
“All right； go on。 Any stock left？”
“No’m。 Nuthin’ ‘cept one ole sow an’ her litter。 Ah driv dem inter de swamp de day de Yankees come； but de Lawd knows how we gwine git dem。 She mean； dat sow。”
“Well get them all right。 You and Prissy can start right now hunting for her。”
Pork was amazed and indignant。
“Miss Scarlett； dat a fe’el han’s bizness。 Ah’s allus been a house nigger。”
A small fiend with a pair of hot tweezers plucked behind Scarlett’s eyeballs。
“You two will catch the sow—or get out of here； like the field hands did。”
Tears trembled in Pork’s hurt eyes。 Oh； if only Miss Ellen was here！ She understood such niceties and realized the wide gap between the duties of a field hand and those of a house nigger。
“Git out； Miss Scarlett？ Whar’d Ah git out to； Miss Scarlett？”
“I don’t know and I don’t care。 But anyone at Tara who won’t work can go hunt up the Yankees。 You can tell the others that too。”
“Yas’m。”
“Now； what about the corn and the cotton； Pork？”
“De cawn？ Lawd； Miss Scarlett； dey pasture dey hawses in de cawn an’ cah’ied off whut de hawses din’ eat or spile。 An’ dey driv dey cannons an’ waggins ‘cross de cotton till it plum ruint； ‘cept a few acres over on de creek bottom dat dey din’ notice。 But dat cotton ain’ wuth foolin’ wid； ‘cause ain’ but ‘bout three bales over dar。”
Three bales。 Scarlett thought of the scores of bales Tara usually yielded and her head hurt worse。 Three bales。 That was little more than the shiftless Slatterys raised。 To make matters worse； there was the question of taxes。 The Confederate government took cotton for taxes in lieu of money； but three bales wouldn’t even cover the taxes。 Little did it matter though； to her or the Confederacy； now that all the field hands had run away and there was no one to pick the cotton。
“Well； I won’t think of that either；” she told herself。 “Taxes aren’t a woman’s job anyway。 Pa ought to look after such things； but Pa— I won’t think of Pa now。 The Confederacy can whistle for its taxes。 What we need now is something to eat。”
“Pork； have any of you been to Twelve Oaks or the Macintosh place to see if there’s； anything left in the gardens there？”
“No； Ma’m！ Us ain’ lef’ Tara。 De Yankees mout git us。”
“I’ll send Dilcey over to Macintosh。 Perhaps she’ll find something there。 And I’ll go to Twelve Oaks。”
“Who wid； chile？”
“By myself。 Mammy must stay with the girls and Mr。 Gerald can’t—”
Pork set up an outcry which she found infuriating。 There might be Yankees or mean niggers at Twelve Oaks。 She mustn’t go alone。”
“That will be enough； Pork。 Tell Dilcey to start immediately。 And you and Prissy go bring in the sow and her litter；” she said briefly； turning on her heel。
Mammy’s old sunbonnet； faded but clean； hung on its peg on the back porch and Scarlett put it on her head； remembering； as from another world； the bonnet with the curling green plume which Rhett had brought her from Paris。 She picked up a large split…oak basket and started down the back stairs； each step jouncing her head until her spine seemed to be trying to crash through the top of her skull。
The road down to the river lay red and scorching between the ruined cotton fields。 There were no trees to cast a shade and the sun beat down through Mammy’s sunbonnet as if it were made of tarlatan instead of heavy quilted calico； while the dust floating upward sifted into her nose and throat until she felt the membranes would crack dryly if she spoke。 Deep ruts and furrows were cut into the road where horses had dragged heavy guns along it and the red gullies on either side were deeply gashed by the wheels。 The cotton was mangled and trampled where cavalry and infantry； forced off the narrow road by the artillery； had marched through the green bushes； grinding them into the earth。 Here and mere in the road and fields lay buckles and bits of harness leather； canteens flattened by hooves and caisson wheels； buttons； blue caps； worn socks； bits of bloody rags； all the litter left by the marching army。
She passed the clump of cedars and the low brick wall which marked the family burying ground； trying not to think of the new grave lying by the three short mounds of her little brothers。 Oh； Ellen— She trudged on down the dusty hill； passing the heap of ashes and the stumpy chimney where the Slattery house had stood； and she wished savagely that the whole tribe of them had been part of the ashes。 If it hadn’t been for the Slatterys—if it hadn’t been for that nasty Emmie who’d had a bastard brat by their overseer—Ellen wouldn’t have died。
She moaned as a sharp pebble cut into her blistered foot。 What was she doing here？ Why was Scarlett O’Hara； the belle of the County； the sheltered pride of Tara； tramping down this rough road almost barefoot？ Her little feet were made to dance； not to limp； her tiny slippers to peep daringly from under bright silks； not to collect sharp pebbles and dust。 She was born to be pampered and waited upon； and here she was； sick and ragged； driven by hunger to hunt for food in the gardens of her neighbors。
At the bottom of the long hill was the river and how cool and still were the tangled trees overhanging the water！ She sank down on the low bank； and stripping off the remnants of her slippers and stockings； dabbled her burning feet in the cool water。 It would be so good to sit here all day； away from the helpless eyes of Tara； here where only the rustle of leaves and the gurgle of slow water broke the stillness。 But reluctantly she replaced her shoes and stockings and trudged down the bank； spongy with moss； under the shady trees。 The Yankees had burned the bridge but she knew of a footlog bridge across a narrow point of the stream a hundred yards below。 She crossed it cautiously and trudged uphill the hot half…mile to Twelve Oaks。
There towered the twelve oaks； as they had stood since Indian days； but with their leaves brown from fire and the branches burned and scorched。 Within their circle lay the ruins of John Wilkes’ house； the charred remains of that once stately home which had crowned the hill in white…columned dignity。 The deep pit which had been the cellar； the blackened field…stone foundations and two mighty chimneys marked the site。 One long column； half…burned； had fallen across the lawn； crushing the cape jessamine bushes。
Scarlett sat down on the column； too sick at the sight to go on。 This desolation went to her heart as nothing she had ever experienced。 Here was the Wilkes pride in the dust at her feet。 Here was the end of the kindly； courteous house which had always welcomed her； the house where in futile dreams she had aspired to be mistress。 Here she had danced and dined and flirted and here she had watched with a jealous； hurting heart how Melanie smiled up at Ashley。 Here； too； in the cool shadows of the trees； Charles Hamilton had rapturously pressed her hand when she said she would marry him。
“Oh； Ashley；” she thought； “I hope you are dead！ I could never bear for you to see this。”
Ashley had married his bride here but his son and his son’s son would never bring brides to this house。 There would be no more matings and births beneath this roof which she had so loved and longed to rule。 The house was dead and to Scarlett； it was as if all the Wilkeses； too； were dead in its ashes。
“I won’t think of it now。 I can’t stand it now。 I’ll think of it later；” she said aloud； turning her eyes away。
Seeking the garden； she limped around the ‘ruins； by the trampled rose beds the Wilkes girls had tended so zealously； across the back yard and through the ashes to the smokehouse； barns and chicken houses。 The split…rail fence around the kitchen garden had been demolished and the once orderly rows of green plants had suffered the same treatment as those at Tara。 The soft earth was scarred with hoof prints and heavy wheels and the vegetables were mashed into the soil。 There was nothing for her here。
She walked back across the yard and took the path down toward the silent row of whitewashed cabins in the quarters； calling “Hello！” as she went。 But no voice answered her。 Not even a dog barked。 Evidently the Wilkes negroes had taken flight or followed the Yankees。 She knew every slave had his own garden patch and as she reached the quarters； she hoped these little patches had been spared。
Her search was rewarded but she was too tired even to feel pleasure at the sight of turnips and cabbages； wilted for want of water but still standing； and straggling butter beans and snap beans； yellow but edible。 She sat down in the furrows and dug into the earth with hands that shook； filling her basket slowly。 There would be a good meal at Tara tonight； in spite of the lack of side meat to boil with the vegetables。 Perhaps some of the bacon grease Dilcey was using for illumination could be used for seasoning。 She must remember to tell Dilcey to use pine knots and save the grease for cooking。
Close to the back step of one cabin； she found a short row of radishes and hunger assaulted her suddenly。 A spicy； sharp…tasting radish was exactly what her stomach craved。 Hardly waiting to rub the dirt off on her skirt； she bit off half and swallowed it hastily。 It was old and coarse and so peppery that tears started in her eyes。 No sooner had the lump gone down than her empty outraged stomach revolted and she lay in the soft dirt and vomited tiredly。
The faint niggery smell which crept from the cabin increased her nausea and； without strength to combat it； she kept on retching miser
