flatland(弗莱特兰)-第3章
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respectable Triangle in the middle class is not without its dangers； if to run
against a Working Man involves a gash； if collision with an Officer of the
military class necessitates a serious wound； if a mere touch from the
vertex of a Private Soldier brings with it danger of death； what can it be
to run against a woman； except absolute and immediate destruction？ And
when a Woman is invisible； or visible only as a dim sub…lustrous point；
how difficult must it be； even for the most cautious； always to avoid
collision！
Many are the enactments made at different times in the different States
of Flatland； in order to minimize this peril； and in the Southern and less
temperate climates； where the force of gravitation is greater； and human
beings more liable to casual and involuntary motions； the Laws
concerning Women are naturally much more stringent。 But a general view
of the Code may be obtained from the following summary：
1。 Every house shall have one entrance on the Eastern side； for the use
of Females only； by which all females shall enter 〃in a becoming and
respectful manner〃 （footnote 1） and not by the Men's or Western door。
2。 No Female shall walk in any public place without continually
keeping up her Peace…cry； under penalty of death。
3。 Any Female； duly certified to be suffering from St。 Vitus's Dance；
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fits； chronic cold accompanied by violent sneezing； or any disease
necessitating involuntary motions； shall be instantly destroyed。
In some of the States there is an additional Law forbidding Females；
under penalty of death； from walking or standing in any public place
without moving their backs constantly from right to left so as to indicate
their presence to those behind them； other oblige a Woman； when
travelling； to be followed by one of her sons； or servants； or by her
husband； others confine Women altogether in their houses except during
the religious festivals。 But it has been found by the wisest of our Circles or
Statesmen that the multiplication of restrictions on Females tends not only
to the debilitation and diminution of the race； but also to the increase of
domestic murders to such an extent that a State loses more than it gains by
a too prohibitive Code。
For whenever the temper of the Women is thus exasperated by
confinement at home or hampering regulations abroad； they are apt to vent
their spleen upon their husbands and children； and in the less temperate
climates the whole male population of a village has been sometimes
destroyed in one or two hours of a simultaneous female outbreak。 Hence
the Three Laws； mentioned above； suffice for the better regulated States；
and may be accepted as a rough exemplification of our Female Code。
After all； our principal safeguard is found； not in Legislature； but in the
interests of the Women themselves。 For； although they can inflict
instantaneous death by a retrograde movement； yet unless they can at once
disengage their stinging extremity from the struggling body of their victim；
their own frail bodies are liable to be shattered。
The power of Fashion is also on our side。 I pointed out that in some
less civilized States no female is suffered to stand in any public place
without swaying her back from right to left。 This practice has been
universal among ladies of any pretensions to breeding in all well…governed
States； as far back as the memory of Figures can reach。 It is considered a
disgrace to any state that legislation should have to enforce what ought to
be； and is in every respectable female； a natural instinct。 The rhythmical
and； if I may so say； well…modulated undulation of the back in our ladies
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of Circular rank is envied and imitated by the wife of a common
Equilateral； who can achieve nothing beyond a mere monotonous swing；
like the ticking of a pendulum； and the regular tick of the Equilateral is no
less admired and copied by the wife of the progressive and aspiring
Isosceles； in the females of whose family no 〃back…motion〃 of any kind
has become as yet a necessity of life。 Hence； in every family of position
and consideration； 〃back motion〃 is as prevalent as time itself； and the
husbands and sons in these households enjoy immunity at least from
invisible attacks。
Not that it must be for a moment supposed that our Women are
destitute of affection。 But unfortunately the passion of the moment
predominates； in the Frail Sex； over every other consideration。 This is； of
course； a necessity arising from their unfortunate conformation。 For as
they have no pretensions to an angle； being inferior in this respect to the
very lowest of the Isosceles； they are consequently wholly devoid of
brainpower； and have neither reflection； judgment nor forethought； and
hardly any memory。 Hence； in their fits of fury； they remember no claims
and recognize no distinctions。 I have actually known a case where a
Woman has exterminated her whole household； and half an hour
afterwards； when her rage was over and the fragments swept away； has
asked what has become of her husband and children。
Obviously then a Woman is not to be irritated as long as she is in a
position where she can turn round。 When you have them in their
apartmentswhich are constructed with a view to denying them that
poweryou can say and do what you like； for they are then wholly
impotent for mischief； and will not remember a few minutes hence the
incident for which they may be at this moment threatening you with death；
nor the promises which you may have found it necessary to make in order
to pacify their fury。
On the whole we got on pretty smoothly in our domestic relations；
except in the lower strata of the Military Classes。 There the want of tact
and discretion on the part of the husbands produces at times indescribable
disasters。 Relying too much on the offensive weapons of their acute angles
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instead of the defensive organs of good sense and seasonable simulations；
these reckless creatures too often neglect the prescribed construction of the
women's apartments； or irritate their wives by ill…advised expressions out
of doors； which they refuse immediately to retract。 Moreover a blunt and
stolid regard for literal truth indisposes them to make those lavish
promises by which the more judicious Circle can in a moment pacify his
consort。 The result is massacre； not； however； without its advantages； as it
eliminates the more brutal and troublesome of the Isosceles； and by many
of our Circles the destructiveness of the Thinner Sex is regarded as one
among many providential arrangements for suppressing redundant
population； and nipping Revolution in the bud。
Yet even in our best regulated and most approximately Circular
families I cannot say that the ideal of family life is so high as with you in
Spaceland。 There is peace； in so far as the absence of slaughter may be
called by that name； but there is necessarily little harmony of tastes or
pursuits； and the cautious wisdom of the Circles has ensured safety at the
cost of domestic comfort。 In every Circular or Polygonal household it has
been a habit from time immemorialand now has become a kind of
instinct among the women of our higher classesthat the mothers and
daughters should constantly keep their eyes and mouths towards their
husband and his male friends； and for a lady in a family of distinction to
turn her back upon her husband would be regarded as a kind of portent；
involving loss of STATUS。 But； as I shall soon shew； this custom； though
it has the advantage of safety； is not without disadvantages。
In the house of the Working Man or respectable Tradesmanwhere the
wife is allowed to turn her back upon her husband； while pursuing her
household avocationsthere are at least intervals of quiet； when the wife is
neither seen nor heard； except for the humming sound of the continuous
Peace…cry； but in the homes of the upper classes there is too often no peace。
There the voluble mouth and bright penetrating eye are ever directed
toward the Master of the household； and light itself is not more persistent
than the stream of Feminine discourse。 The tact and skill which suffice to
avert a Woman's sting are unequal to the task of stopping a Woman's
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mouth； and as the wife has absolutely nothing to say； and absolutely no
constraint of wit； sense； or conscience to prevent her from saying it； not a
few cynics have been found to aver that they prefer the danger of the
death…dealing but inaudible sting to the safe sonorousness of a Woman's
other end。
To my readers in Spaceland the condition of our Women may seen
truly deplorable； and so indeed it is。 A Male of the lowest type of the
Isosceles may look forward to some improvement of his angle； and to the
ultimate elevation of the whole of his degraded caste； but no Woman can
entertain such hopes for her sex。 〃Once a Woman； always a Woman〃 is a
Decree of Nature； and the very Laws of Evolution seem suspended in her
disfavour。 Yet at least we can admire the wise Prearrangement which has
ordained that； as they
