the ragged trousered philanthropists-第4章

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s？'

‘None　whatever；'　said　Crass；　‘it　just　puts　foolish　idears　into　people's　'eds　and　makes　'em　too　lazy　to　work。'

Barrington；　who　took　no　part　in　the　conversation；　still　sat　silently　smoking。　　Owen　was　listening　to　this　pitiable　farrago　with　feelings　of　contempt　and　wonder。　　Were　they　all　hopelessly　stupid？　　Had　their　intelligence　never　developed　beyond　the　childhood　stage？　　Or　was　he　mad　himself？

‘Early　marriages　is　another　thing；'　said　Slyme：　‘no　man　oughtn't　to　be　allowed　to　get　married　unless　he's　in　a　position　to　keep　a　family。'

‘How　can　marriage　be　a　cause　of　poverty？'　said　Owen；　contemptuously。　‘A　man　who　is　not　married　is　living　an　unnatural　life。　　Why　don't　you　continue　your　argument　a　little　further　and　say　that　the　practice　of　eating　and　drinking　is　the　cause　of　poverty　or　that　if　people　were　to　go　barefoot　and　naked　there　would　be　no　poverty？　　The　man　who　is　so　poor　that　he　cannot　marry　is　in　a　condition　of　poverty　already。'

‘Wot　I　mean；'　said　Slyme；　‘is　that　no　man　oughtn't　to　marry　till　he's　saved　up　enough　so　as　to　'ave　some　money　in　the　bank；　an'　another　thing；　I　reckon　a　man　oughtn't　to　get　married　till　'e's　got　an　'ouse　of　'is　own。　　It's　easy　enough　to　buy　one　in　a　building　society　if　you're　in　reg'lar　work。'

At　this　there　was　a　general　laugh。

‘Why；　you　bloody　fool；'　said　Harlow；　scornfully；　‘most　of　us　is　walkin'　about　'arf　our　time。　　It's　all　very　well　for　you　to　talk；　you've　got　almost　a　constant　job　on　this　firm。　　If　they're　doin'　anything　at　all　you're　one　of　the　few　gets　a　show　in。　　And　another　thing；'　he　added　with　a　sneer；　‘we　don't　all　go　to　the　same　chapel　as　old　Misery；'

‘Old　Misery'　was　Ruston　&　Co。's　manager　or　walking　foreman。　　‘Misery'　was　only　one　of　the　nicknames　bestowed　upon　him　by　the　hands：　he　was　also　known　as　‘Nimrod'　and　‘Pontius　Pilate'。

‘And　even　if　it's　not　possible；'　Harlow　continued；　winking　at　the　others；　‘what's　a　man　to　do　during　the　years　he's　savin'　up？'

‘Well；　he　must　conquer　hisself；'　said　Slyme；　getting　red。

‘Conquer　hisself　is　right！'　said　Harlow　and　the　others　laughed　again。

‘Of　course　if　a　man　tried　to　conquer　hisself　by　his　own　strength；'　replied　Slyme；　‘'e　would　be　sure　to　fail；　but　when　you've　got　the　Grace　of　God　in　you　it's　different。'

‘Chuck　it；　fer　Christ's　sake！'　said　Harlow　in　a　tone　of　disgust。　‘We've　only　just　'ad　our　dinner！'

‘And　wot　about　drink？'　demanded　old　Joe　Philpot；　suddenly。

‘'Ear；　'ear；'　cried　Harlow。　　‘That's　the　bleedin'　　talk。　　I　wouldn't　mind　'avin　'arf　a　pint　now；　if　somebody　else　will　pay　for　it。'

Joe　Philpot　…　or　as　he　was　usually　called；　‘Old　Joe'　…　was　in　the　habit　of　indulging　freely　in　the　cup　that　inebriates。　　He　was　not　very　old；　being　only　a　little　over　fifty；　but　he　looked　much　older。　　He　had　lost　his　wife　some　five　years　ago　and　was　now　alone　in　the　world；　for　his　three　children　had　died　in　their　infancy。　　Slyme's　reference　to　drink　had　roused　Philpot's　indignation；　he　felt　that　it　was　directed　against　himself。　　The　muddled　condition　of　his　brain　did　not　permit　him　to　take　up　the　cudgels　in　his　own　behalf；　but　he　knew　that　although　Owen　was　a　tee…totaller　himself；　he　disliked　Slyme。

‘There's　no　need　for　us　to　talk　about　drink　or　laziness；'　returned　Owen；　impatiently；　‘because　they　have　nothing　to　do　with　the　matter。　The　question　is；　what　is　the　cause　of　the　lifelong　poverty　of　the　majority　of　those　who　are　not　drunkards　and　who　DO　work？　　Why；　if　all　the　drunkards　and　won't…works　and　unskilled　or　inefficient　workers　could　be　by　some　miracle　transformed　into　sober；　industrious　and　skilled　workers　tomorrow；　it　would；　under　the　present　conditions；　be　so　much　the　worse　for　us；　because　there　isn't　enough　work　for　all　NOW　and　those　people　by　increasing　the　competition　for　what　work　there　is；　would　inevitably　cause　a　reduction　of　wages　and　a　greater　scarcity　of　employment。　　The　theories　that　drunkenness；　laziness　or　inefficiency　are　the　causes　of　poverty　are　so　many　devices　invented　and　fostered　by　those　who　are　selfishly　interested　in　maintaining　the　present　states　of　affairs；　for　the　purpose　of　preventing　us　from　discovering　the　real　causes　of　our　present　condition。'

‘Well；　if　we're　all　wrong；'　said　Crass；　with　a　sneer；　‘praps　you　can　tell　us　what　the　real　cause　is？'

‘An'　praps　you　think　you　know　how　it's　to　be　altered；'　remarked　Harlow；　winking　at　the　others。

‘Yes；　I　do　think　I　know　the　cause；'　declared　Owen；　‘and　I　do　think　I　know　how　it　could　be　altered　…'

‘It　can't　never　be　haltered；'　interrupted　old　Linden。　　‘I　don't　see　no　sense　in　all　this　'ere　talk。　　There's　always　been　rich　and　poor　in　the　world；　and　there　always　will　be。'

‘Wot　I　always　say　is　there　'ere；'　remarked　Philpot；　whose　principal　characteristic　…　apart　from　thirst　…　was　a　desire　to　see　everyone　comfortable；　and　who　hated　rows　of　any　kind。　　‘There　ain't　no　use　in　the　likes　of　us　trubblin　our　'eds　or　quarrelin　about　politics。　　It　don't　make　a　dam　bit　of　difference　who　you　votes　for　or　who　gets　in。　They're　hall　the　same；　workin　the　horicle　for　their　own　benefit。　　You　can　talk　till　you're　black　in　the　face；　but　you　won't　never　be　able　to　alter　it。　　It's　no　use　worrying。　　The　sensible　thing　is　to　try　and　make　the　best　of　things　as　we　find　'em：　enjoy　ourselves；　and　do　the　best　we　can　for　each　other。　　Life's　too　short　to　quarrel　and　we'll　hall　soon　be　dead！'

At　the　end　of　this　lengthy　speech；　the　philosophic　Philpot　abstractedly　grasped　a　jam…jar　and　raised　it　to　his　lips；　but　suddenly　remembering　that　it　contained　stewed　tea　and　not　beer；　set　it　down　again　without　drinking。

‘Let　us　begin　at　the　beginning；'　continued　Owen；　taking　no　notice　of　these　interruptions。　　‘First　of　all；　what　do　you　mean　by　Poverty？'

‘Why；　if　you've　got　no　money；　of　course；'　said　Crass　impatiently。

The　others　laughed　disdainfully。　　It　seemed　to　them　such　a　foolish　question。

‘Well；　that's　true　enough　as　far　as　it　goes；'　returned　Owen；　‘that　is；　as　things　are　arranged　in　the　world　at　present。　　But　money　itself　is　not　wealth：　it's　of　no　use　whatever。'

At　this　there　was　another　outburst　of　jeering　laughter。

‘Supposing　for　example　that　you　and　Harlow　were　shipwrecked　on　a　desolate　island；　and　YOU　had　saved　nothing　from　the　wreck　but　a　bag　containing　a　thousand　sovereigns；　and　he　had　a　tin　of　biscuits　and　a　bottle　of　water。'

‘Make　it　beer！'　cried　Harlow　appealingly。

‘Who　would　be　the　richer　man；　you　or　Harlow？'

‘But　then　you　see　we　ain't　shipwrecked　on　no　dissolute　island　at　all；'　sneered　Crass。　　‘That's　the　worst　of　your　arguments。　　You　can't　never　get　very　far　without　supposing　some　bloody　ridclus　thing　or　other。　Never　mind　about　supposing　things　wot　ain't　true；　let's　'ave　facts　and　common　sense。'

‘'Ear；　'ear；'　said　old　Linden。　　‘That's　wot　we　want　…　a　little　common　sense。'

‘What　do　YOU　mean　by　poverty；　then？'　asked　Easton。

‘What　I　call　poverty　is　when　people　are　not　able　to　secure　for　themselves　all　the　benefits　of　civilization；　the　necessaries；　comforts；　pleasures　and　refinements　of　life；　leisure；　books；　theatres；　pictures；　music；　holidays；　travel；　good　and　beautiful　homes；　good　clothes；　good　and　pleasant　food。'

Everybody　laughed。　　It　was　so　ridiculous。　　The　idea　of　the　likes　of　THEM　wanting　or　having　such　things！　　Any　doubts　that　any　of　them　had　entertained　as　to　Owen's　sanity　disappeared。　　The　man　was　as　mad　as　a　March　hare。

‘If　a　man　is　only　able　to　provide　himself　and　his　family　with　the　bare　necessaries　of　existence；　that　man's　family　is　living　in　poverty。　Since　he　cannot　enjoy　the　advantages　of　civilization　he　might　just　as　well　be　a　savage：　better；　in　fact；　for　a　savage　knows　nothing　of　what　he　is　deprived。　　What　we　call　civilization　…　the　accumulation　of　knowledge　which　has　come　down　to　us　from　our　forefathers　…　is　the　fruit　of　thousands　of　years　of　human　thought　and　toil。　　It　is　not　the　result　of　the　labour　of　the　ancestors　of　any　separate　class　of　people　who　exist　today；　and　therefore　it　is　by　right　the　common　heritage　of　all。　　Every　little　child　that　is　born　into　the　world；　no　matter　whether　he　is　clever　or　full；　whether　he　is　physically　perfect　or　lame；　or　blind；　no　matter　how　much　he　may　excel　or　fall　short　of　his　fellows　in　other　respects；　in　one　thing　at　least　he　is　their　equal　…　he　is　one　of　the　heirs　of　all　the　ages　that　have　gone　before。'

Some　of　them　began　to　wonder　whether　Owen　was　not　sane　after　all。　　He　certainly　must　be　a　clever　sort　of　chap　to　be　able　to　talk　like　this。　It　sounded　almost　like　something　out　of　a　book；　and　most　of　them　could　not　understand　one　half　of　it。

‘Why　is　it；'　continued　Owen；　‘that　we　are　not　only　deprived　of　our　inheritance　…　we　are　not　only　deprived　of　nearly　all　the　benefits　of　civilization；　but　we　and　our　children　and　also　often　unable　to　obtain　even　the　bare　necessaries　of　existence？'

No　one　answered。

‘All　these　things；'　Owen　proceeded；　‘are　produced　by　those　who　work。　We　do　our　full　share　of　the　work；　therefore　we　should　have　a　full　share　of　the　things　that　are　made　by　work。'

The　others　continued　silent。　　Harlow　thought　of　the　over…population　theory；　but　decided　not　to　mention　it。　　Crass；　who　could　not　have　given　an　intelligent　answer　to　save　his　life；　for　once　had　sufficient　sense　to　remain　silent。　　He　did　think　of　calling　out　the　patent　paint…pumping　machine　and　bringing　the　hosepipe　to　bear　on　the　subject；　but　abandoned　the　idea；　after　all；　he　thought；　what　was　the　use　of　arguing　with　such　a　fool　as　Owen？

Sawkins　pretended　to　be　asleep。

Philpot；　however；　had　suddenly　grown　very　serious。

‘As　things　are　now；'　went　on　Owen；　‘instead　of　enjoying　the　advantages　of　civilization　we　are　really　worse　off　than　slaves；　for　if　we　were　slaves　our　owners　in　their　own　interest　would　see　to　it　that　we　always　had　food　and　…'

‘Oh；　I　don't　see　that；'　roughly　interrupted　old　Linden；　who　had　been　listening　with　evident　anger　and　impatience。　　‘You　can　speak　for　yourself；　but　I　can　tell　yer　I　don't　put　MYSELF　down　as　a　slave。'

‘Nor　me　neither；'　said　Crass　sturdily。　　‘Let　them　call　their　selves　slaves　as　wants　to。'

At　this　moment　a　footstep　was　heard　in　the　passage　leading　to　the　kitchen。　　Old　Misery！　or　perhaps　the　bloke　himself！　　Crass　hurriedly　pulled　out　his　watch。

‘Jesus　Christ！'　he　gasped。　　‘It's　four　minutes　past　one！'

Linden　frantically　seized　hold　of　a　pair　of　steps　and　began　wandering　about　the　room　with　them。

Sawkins　scrambled　hastily　to　his　feet　and；　snatching　a　piece　of　sandpaper　from　the　pocket　of　his　apron；　began　furiously　rubbing　down　the　scullery　door。

Easton　threw　down　the　copy　of　the　Obscurer　and　scrambled　hastily　to　his　feet。

The　boy　crammed　the　Chronicles　of　Crime　into　his　trousers　pocket。

Crass　rushed　over　to　the　bucket　and　began　stirring　up　the　stale　whitewash　it　contained；　and　the　stench　which　it　gave　forth　was　simply　appalling。

Consternation　reigned。

They　looked　like　a　gang　of　malefactors　suddenly　interrupted　in　the　commission　of　a　crime。

The　door　opened。　　It　was　only　Bundy　returning　from　his　mission　to　the　Bookie。



Chapter　2：

Nimrod：　a　Mighty　Hunter　before　the　Lord


Mr　Hunter；　as　he　was　called　to　his　face　and　as　he　was　known　to　his　brethren　at　the　Shining　Light　Chapel；　where　he　was　superintendant　of　the　Sunday　School；　or　‘Misery'　or　‘Nimrod'；　as　he　was　named　behind　his　back　by　the　workm