the ragged trousered philanthropists-第64章

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While　the　audience　were　admiring　this　picture；　Bert　played　another　well…known　tune；　and　the　children　sang　the　words：

　　　　　　　　‘Two　lovely　black　eyes；　　　　　　　　　Oh　what　a　surprise！　　　　　　　　　Only　for　telling　a　man　he　was　wrong；　　　　　　　　　Two　lovely　black　eyes。'

Bert　continued　to　turn　the　handles　of　the　rollers　and　a　long　succession　of　pictures　passed　across　the　stage；　to　the　delight　of　the　children；　who　cheered　and　sang　as　occasion　demanded；　but　the　most　enthusiastic　outburst　of　all　greeted　the　appearance　of　the　final　picture；　which　was　a　portrait　of　the　King。　　Directly　the　children　saw　it　…　without　waiting　for　the　band　…　they　gave　three　cheers　and　began　to　sing　the　chorus　of　the　National　Anthem。

A　round　of　applause　for　Bert　concluded　the　Pandorama　performance；　the　lamp　and　the　candles　of　the　Christmas　tree　were　relit　…　for　although　all　the　toys　had　been　taken　off；　the　tree　still　made　a　fine　show　with　the　shining　glass　ornaments　…　and　then　they　had　some　more　games；　blind　man's　buff；　a　tug…of…war　…　in　which　Philpot　was　defeated　with　great　laughter　…　and　a　lot　of　other　games。　　And　when　they　were　tired　of　these；　each　child　‘said　a　piece'　or　sung　a　song；　learnt　specially　for　the　occasion。　　The　only　one　who　had　not　come　prepared　in　this　respect　was　little　Rosie；　and　even　she　…　so　as　to　be　the　same　as　the　others　…　insisted　on　reciting　the　only　piece　she　knew。　　Kneeling　on　the　hearthrug；　she　put　her　hands　together；　palm　to　palm；　and　shutting　her　eyes　very　tightly　she　repeated　the　verse　she　always　said　every　night　before　going　to　bed：

　　　　　　　　‘Gentle　Jesus；　meek　and　mild；　　　　　　　　　Look　on　me；　a　little　child。　　　　　　　　　Pity　my　simplicity；　　　　　　　　　Suffer　me　to　come　to　Thee。'

Then　she　stood　up　and　kissed　everyone　in　turn；　and　Philpot　crossed　over　and　began　looking　out　of　the　window；　and　coughed；　and　blew　his　nose；　because　a　nut　that　he　had　been　eating　had　gone　down　the　wrong　way。

Most　of　them　were　by　this　time　quite　tired　out；　so　after　some　supper　the　party　broke　up。　　Although　they　were　nearly　all　very　sleepy；　none　of　them　were　very　willing　to　go；　but　they　were　consoled　by　the　thought　of　another　entertainment　to　which　they　were　going　later　on　in　the　week　…　the　Band　of　Hope　Tea　and　Prize　Distribution　at　the　Shining　Light　Chapel。

Bert　undertook　to　see　Elsie　and　Charley　safely　home；　and　Philpot　volunteered　to　accompany　Nellie　and　Tommy　Newman；　and　to　carry　Rosie；　who　was　so　tired　that　she　fell　asleep　on　his　shoulder　before　they　left　the　house。

As　they　were　going　down　the　stairs　Frankie　held　a　hurried　consultation　with　his　mother；　with　the　result　that　he　was　able　to　shout　after　them　an　invitation　to　come　again　next　Christmas。



Chapter　30

The　Brigands　hold　a　Council　of　War


It　being　now　what　is　usually　called　the　festive　season　…　possibly　because　at　this　period　of　the　year　a　greater　number　of　people　are　suffering　from　hunger　and　cold　than　at　any　other　time　…　the　reader　will　not　be　surprised　at　being　invited　to　another　little　party　which　took　place　on　the　day　after　the　one　we　have　just　left。　　The　scene　was　Mr　Sweater's　office。　　Mr　Sweater　was　seated　at　his　desk；　but　with　his　chair　swung　round　to　enable　him　to　face　his　guests　…　Messrs　Rushton；　Didlum；　and　Grinder；　who　were　also　seated。

‘Something　will　'ave　to　be　done；　and　that　very　soon；'　Grinder　was　saying。　　‘We　can't　go　on　much　longer　as　we're　doing　at　present。　　For　my　part；　I　think　the　best　thing　to　do　is　to　chuck　up　the　sponge　at　once；　the　company　is　practically　bankrupt　now；　and　the　longer　we　waits　the　worser　it　will　be。'

‘That's　just　my　opinion；'　said　Didlum　dejectedly。　　‘If　we　could　supply　the　electric　light　at　the　same　price　as　gas；　or　a　little　cheaper；　we　might　have　some　chance；　but　we　can't　do　it。　　The　fact　is　that　the　machinery　we've　got　is　no　dam　good；　it's　too　small　and　it's　wore　out；　consequently　the　light　we　supply　is　inferior　to　gas　and　costs　more。'

‘Yes；　I　think　we're　fairly　beaten　this　time；'　said　Rushton。　　‘Why；　even　if　the　Gas　Coy　hadn't　moved　their　works　beyond　the　borough　boundary；　still　we　shouldn't　'ave　been　hable　to　compete　with　'em。'

‘Of　course　not；'　said　Grinder。　　‘The　truth　of　the　matter　is　just　wot　Didlum　says。　　Our　machinery　is　too　small；　it's　worn　hout；　and　good　for　nothing　but　to　be　throwed　on　the　scrap…heap。　　So　there's　only　one　thing　left　to　do　and　that　is　…　go　into　liquidation。'

‘I　don't　see　it；'　remarked　Sweater。

‘Well；　what　do　you　propose；　then？'　demanded　Grinder。　　‘Reconstruct　the　company？　　Ask　the　shareholders　for　more　money？　　Pull　down　the　works　and　build　fresh；　and　buy　some　new　machinery？　　And　then　most　likely　not　make　a　do　of　it　after　all？　　Not　for　me；　old　chap！　　I've　'ad　enough。　You　won't　catch　me　chuckin'　good　money　after　bad　in　that　way。'

‘Nor　me　neither；'　said　Rushton。

‘Dead　orf！'　remarked　Didlum；　very　decidedly。

Sweater　laughed　quietly。　　‘I'm　not　such　a　fool　as　to　suggest　anything　of　that　sort；'　he　said。　　‘You　seem　to　forget　that　I　am　one　of　the　largest　shareholders　myself。　　No。　　What　I　propose　is　that　we　Sell　Out。'

‘Sell　out！'　replied　Grinder　with　a　contemptuous　laugh　in　which　the　others　joined。　　‘Who's　going　to　buy　the　shares　of　a　concern　that's　practically　bankrupt　and　never　paid　a　dividend？'

‘I've　tried　to　sell　my　little　lot　several　times　already；'　said　Didlum　with　a　sickly　smile；　‘but　nobody　won't　buy　'em。'

‘Who's　to　buy？'　repeated　Sweater；　replying　to　Grinder。　　‘The　municipality　of　course！　　The　ratepayers。　　Why　shouldn't　Mugsborough　go　in　for　Socialism　as　well　as　other　towns？'

Rushton；　Didlum　and　Grinder　fairly　gasped　for　breath：　the　audacity　of　the　chief's　proposal　nearly　paralysed　them。

‘I'm　afraid　we　should　never　git　away　with　it；'　ejaculated　Didlum；　as　soon　as　he　could　speak。　　‘When　the　people　tumbled　to　it；　there'd　be　no　hend　of　a　row。'

‘PEOPLE！　　ROW！'　replied　Sweater；　scornfully。　　‘The　majority　of　the　people　will　never　know　anything　about　it！　Listen　to　me　…'

‘Are　you　quite　sure　as　we　can't　be　over'eard？'　interrupted　Rushton；　glancing　nervously　at　the　door　and　round　the　office。

‘It's　all　right；'　answered　Sweater；　who　nevertheless　lowered　his　voice　almost　to　a　whisper；　and　the　others　drew　their　chairs　closer　and　bent　forward　to　listen。

‘You　know　we　still　have　a　little　money　in　hand：　well；　what　I　propose　is　this：　At　the　annual　meeting；　which；　as　you　know；　comes　off　next　week；　we'll　arrange　for　the　Secretary　to　read　a　highly　satisfactory　report；　and　we'll　declare　a　dividend　of　15　per　cent　…　we　can　arrange　it　somehow　between　us。　　Of　course；　we'll　have　to　cook　the　accounts　a　little；　but　I'll　see　that　it's　done　properly。　　The　other　shareholders　are　not　going　to　ask　any　awkward　questions；　and　we　all　understand　each　other。'

Sweater　paused；　and　regarded　the　other　three　brigands　intently。　　‘Do　you　follow　me？'　he　asked。

‘Yes；　yes；'　said　Didlum　eagerly。　　‘Go　on　with　it。'　　And　Rushton　and　Grinder　nodded　assent。

‘Afterwards；'　resumed　Sweater；　‘I'll　arrange　for　a　good　report　of　the　meeting　to　appear　in　the　Weekly　Ananias。　　I'll　instruct　the　Editor　to　write　it　himself；　and　I'll　tell　him　just　what　to　say。　　I'll　also　get　him　to　write　a　leading　article　about　it；　saying　that　electricity　is　sure　to　supersede　gas　for　lighting　purposes　in　the　very　near　future。　Then　the　article　will　go　on　to　refer　to　the　huge　profits　made　by　the　Gas　Coy　and　to　say　how　much　better　it　would　have　been　if　the　town　had　bought　the　gasworks　years　ago；　so　that　those　profits　might　have　been　used　to　reduce　the　rates；　the　same　as　has　been　done　in　other　towns。　Finally；　the　article　will　declare　that　it's　a　great　pity　that　the　Electric　Light　Supply　should　be　in　the　hands　of　a　private　company；　and　to　suggest　that　an　effort　be　made　to　acquire　it　for　the　town。

‘In　the　meantime　we　can　all　go　about　…　in　a　very　quiet　and　judicious　way；　of　course　…　bragging　about　what　a　good　thing　we've　got；　and　saying　we　don't　mean　to　sell。　　We　shall　say　that　we've　overcome　all　the　initial　expenses　and　difficulties　connected　with　the　installation　of　the　works　…　that　we　are　only　just　beginning　to　reap　the　reward　of　our　industry　and　enterprise；　and　so　on。

‘Then；'　continued　the　Chief；　‘we　can　arrange　for　it　to　be　proposed　in　the　Council　that　the　Town　should　purchase　the　Electric　Light　Works。'

‘But　not　by　one　of　us　four；　you　know；'　said　Grinder　with　a　cunning　leer。

‘Certainly　not；　that　would　give　the　show　away　at　once。　　There　are；　as　you　know　…　several　members　of　the　Band　who　are　not　shareholders　in　the　company；　we'll　get　some　of　them　to　do　most　of　the　talking。　　We；　being　the　directors　of　the　company；　must　pretend　to　be　against　selling；　and　stick　out　for　our　own　price；　and　when　we　do　finally　consent　we　must　make　out　that　we　are　sacrificing　our　private　interests　for　the　good　of　the　Town。　　We'll　get　a　committee　appointed　…　we'll　have　an　expert　engineer　down　from　London　…　I　know　a　man　that　will　suit　our　purpose　admirably　…　we'll　pay　him　a　trifle　and　he'll　say　whatever　we　tell　him　to　…　and　we'll　rush　the　whole　business　through　before　you　can　say　〃Jack　Robinson〃；　and　before　the　rate…payers　have　time　to　realize　what's　being　done。　　Not　that　we　need　worry　ourselves　much　about　them。　Most　of　them　take　no　interest　in　public　affairs；　but　even　if　there　is　something　said；　it　won't　matter　much　to　us　once　we've　got　the　money。　It'll　be　a　nine　days'　wonder　and　then　we'll　hear　no　more　of　it。'

As　the　Chief　ceased　speaking；　the　other　brigands　also　remained　silent；　speechless　with　admiration　of　his　cleverness。

‘Well；　what　do　you　think　of　it？'　he　asked。

‘Think　of　it！'　cried　Grinder；　enthusiastically。　　‘I　think　it's　splendid！　　Nothing　could　be　better。　　If　we　can　honly　git　away　with　it；　I　reckon　it'll　be　one　of　the　smartest　thing　we've　ever　done。'

‘Smart　ain't　the　word　for　it；'　observed　Rushton。

‘There's　no　doubt　it's　a　grand　idear！'　exclaimed　Didlum；　‘and　I've　just　thought　of　something　else　that　might　be　done　to　help　it　along。　We　could　arrange　to　'ave　a　lot　of　letters　sent　〃To　the　Editor　of　the　Obscurer〃　and　〃To　the　Editor　of　the　Ananias；〃　and　〃To　the　Editor　of　the　Weekly　Chloroform〃　in　favour　of　the　scheme。'

‘Yes；　that's　a　very　good　idea；'　said　Grinder。　　‘For　that　matter　the　editors　could　write　them　to　themselves　and　sign　them　〃Progress〃；　〃Ratepayer〃；　〃Advance　Mugsborough〃；　and　sich…like。'

‘Yes；　that's　all　right；'　said　the　Chief；　thoughtfully；　‘but　we　must　be　careful　not　to　overdo　it；　of　course　there　will　have　to　be　a　certain　amount　of　publicity；　but　we　don't　want　to　create　too　much　interest　in　it。'　‘Come　to　think　of　it；'　observed　Rushton　arrogantly；　‘why　should　we　trouble　ourselves　about　the　opinion　of　the　ratepayers　at　all？　　Why　should　we　trouble　to　fake　the　books；　or　declare　a　dividend　or　'ave　the　harticles　in　the　papers　or　anything　else？　　We've　got　the　game　in　our　own　'ands；　we've　got　a　majority　in　the　Council；　and；　as　Mr　Sweater　ses；　very　few　people　even　take　the　trouble　to　read　the　reports　of　the　meetings。'

‘Yes；　that's　right　enough；'　said　Grinder。　　‘But　it's　just　them　few　wot　would　make　a　lot　of　trouble　and　talk；　THEY'RE　the　very　people　we　'as　to　think　about。　　If　we　can　only　manage　to　put　THEM　in　a　fog　we'll　be　all　right；　and　the　way　to　do　it　is　as　Mr　Sweater　proposes。'

‘Yes；　I　think　so；'　said　the　Chief。　　‘We　must　be　very　careful。　　I　can　work　it　all　right　in　the　Ananias　and　the　Chloroform；　and　of　course　you'll　see　that　the　Ob