the ragged trousered philanthropists-第93章

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red　children　who　climbed　on　fences　and　five…barred　gates；　and　waved　their　hats　and　cheered；　or　ran　behind　the　brakes　for　the　pennies　the　men　threw　down　to　them。

From　time　to　time　the　men　in　the　brakes　made　half…hearted　attempts　at　singing；　but　it　never　came　to　much；　because　most　of　them　were　too　hungry　and　miserable。　　They　had　not　had　time　to　take　any　dinner　and　would　not　have　taken　any　even　if　they　had　the　time；　for　they　wished　to　reserve　their　appetites　for　the　banquet　at　the　Queen　Elizabeth；　which　they　expected　to　reach　about　half　past　three。　　However；　they　cheered　up　a　little　after　the　first　halt　…　at　the　Blue　Lion；　where　most　of　them　got　down　and　had　a　drink。　　Some　of　them；　including　the　Semi…drunk；　Ned　Dawson；　Bill　Bates　and　Joe　Philpot　…　had　two　or　three　drinks；　and　felt　so　much　happier　for　them　that；　shortly　after　they　started　off　again；　sounds　of　melody　were　heard　from　the　brake　the　three　first　named　rode　in　…　the　one　presided　over　by　Crass　…　but　it　was　not　very　successful；　and　even　after　the　second　halt　…　about　five　miles　further　on　…　at　the　Warrior's　Head；　they　found　it　impossible　to　sing　with　any　heartiness。　　Fitful　bursts　of　song　arose　from　time　to　time　from　each　of　the　brakes　in　turn；　only　to　die　mournfully　away。　　It　is　not　easy　to　sing　on　an　empty　stomach　even　if　one　has　got　a　little　beer　in　it；　and　so　it　was　with　most　of　them。　　They　were　not　in　a　mood　to　sing；　or　to　properly　appreciate　the　scenes　through　which　they　were　passing。　　They　wanted　their　dinners；　and　that　was　the　reason　why　this　long　ride；　instead　of　being　a　pleasure；　became　after　a　while；　a　weary　journey　that　seemed　as　if　it　were　never　coming　to　an　end。

The　next　stop　was　at　the　Bird　in　Hand；　a　wayside　public　house　that　stood　all　by　itself　in　a　lonely　hollow。　　The　landlord　was　a　fat；　jolly…looking　man；　and　there　were　several　customers　in　the　bar　…　men　who　looked　like　farm…labourers；　but　there　were　no　other　houses　to　be　seen　anywhere。　　This　extraordinary　circumstance　exercised　the　minds　of　our　travellers　and　formed　the　principal　topic　of　conversation　until　they　arrived　at　the　Dew　Drop　Inn；　about　half　an　hour　afterwards。　　The　first　brake；　containing　Rushton　and　his　friends；　passed　on　without　stopping　here。　　The　occupants　of　the　second　brake；　which　was　only　a　little　way　behind　the　first；　were　divided　in　opinion　whether　to　stop　or　go　on。　　Some　shouted　out　to　the　driver　to　pull　up；　others　ordered　him　to　proceed；　and　more　were　undecided　which　course　to　pursue　…　a　state　of　mind　that　was　not　shared　by　the　coachman；　who；　knowing　that　if　they　stopped　somebody　or　other　would　be　sure　to　stand　him　a　drink；　had　no　difficulty　whatever　in　coming　to　a　decision；　but　drew　rein　at　the　inn；　an　example　that　was　followed　by　both　the　other　carriages　as　they　drove　up。

It　was　a　very　brief　halt；　not　more　than　half　the　men　getting　down　at　all；　and　those　who　remained　in　the　brakes　grumbled　so　much　at　the　delay　that　the　others　drank　their　beer　as　quickly　as　possible　and　the　journey　was　resumed　once　more；　almost　in　silence。　　No　attempts　at　singing；　no　noisy　laughter；　they　scarcely　spoke　to　each　other；　but　sat　gloomily　gazing　out　over　the　surrounding　country。

Instructions　had　been　given　to　the　drivers　not　to　stop　again　till　they　reached　the　Queen　Elizabeth；　and　they　therefore　drove　past　the　World　Turned　Upside　Down　without　stopping；　much　to　the　chagrin　of　the　landlord　of　that　house；　who　stood　at　the　door　with　a　sickly　smile　upon　his　face。　　Some　of　those　who　knew　him　shouted　out　that　they　would　give　him　a　call　on　their　way　back；　and　with　this　he　had　to　be　content。

They　reached　the　long…desired　Queen　Elizabeth　at　twenty　minutes　to　four；　and　were　immediately　ushered　into　a　large　room　where　a　round　table　and　two　long　ones　were　set　for　dinner　…　and　they　were　set　in　a　manner　worthy　of　the　reputation　of　the　house。

The　cloths　that　covered　the　tables　and　the　serviettes；　arranged　fanwise　in　the　drinking　glasses；　were　literally　as　white　as　snow；　and　about　a　dozen　knives　and　forks　and　spoons　were　laid　for　each　person。　Down　the　centre　of　the　table　glasses　of　delicious　yellow　custard　and　cut…glass　dishes　of　glistening　red　and　golden　jelly　alternated　with　vases　of　sweet…smelling　flowers。

The　floor　of　the　dining…room　was　covered　with　oilcloth　…　red　flowers　on　a　pale　yellow　ground；　the　pattern　was　worn　off　in　places；　but　it　was　all　very　clean　and　shining。　　Whether　one　looked　at　the　walls　with　the　old…fashioned　varnished　oak　paper；　or　at　the　glossy　piano　standing　across　the　corner　near　the　white…curtained　window；　at　the　shining　oak　chairs　or　through　the　open　casement　doors　that　led　into　the　shady　garden　beyond；　the　dominating　impression　one　received　was　that　everything　was　exquisitely　clean。

The　landlord　announced　that　dinner　would　be　served　in　ten　minutes；　and　while　they　were　waiting　some　of　them　indulged　in　a　drink　at　the　bar　…　just　as　an　appetizer　…　whilst　the　others　strolled　in　the　garden　or；　by　the　landlord's　invitation；　looked　over　the　house。　　Amongst　other　places；　they　glanced　into　the　kitchen；　where　the　landlady　was　superintending　the　preparation　of　the　feast；　and　in　this　place；　with　its　whitewashed　walls　and　red…tiled　floor；　as　in　every　other　part　of　the　house；　the　same　absolute　cleanliness　reigned　supreme。

‘It's　a　bit　differint　from　the　Royal　Caff；　where　we　got　the　sack；　ain't　it？'　remarked　the　Semi…drunk　to　Bill　Bates　as　they　made　their　way　to　the　dining…room　in　response　to　the　announcement　that　dinner　was　ready。

‘Not　arf！'　replied　Bill。

Rushton；　with　Didlum　and　Grinder　and　his　other　friends；　sat　at　the　round　table　near　the　piano。　　Hunter　took　the　head　of　the　longer　of　the　other　two　tables　and　Crass　the　foot；　and　on　either　side　of　Crass　were　Bundy　and　Slyme；　who　had　acted　with　him　as　the　Committee　who　had　arranged　the　Beano。　　Payne；　the　foreman　carpenter；　occupied　the　head　of　the　other　table。

The　dinner　was　all　that　could　be　desired；　it　was　almost　as　good　as　the　kind　of　dinner　that　is　enjoyed　every　day　by　those　persons　who　are　too　lazy　to　work　but　are　cunning　enough　to　make　others　work　for　them。

There　was　soup；　several　entrees；　roast　beef；　boiled　mutton；　roast　turkey；　roast　goose；　ham；　cabbage；　peas；　beans　and　sweets　galore；　plum　pudding；　custard；　jelly；　fruit　tarts；　bread　and　cheese　and　as　much　beer　or　lemonade　as　they　liked　to　pay　for；　the　drinks　being　an　extra；　and　afterwards　the　waiters　brought　in　cups　of　coffee　for　those　who　desired　it。　　Everything　was　up　to　the　knocker；　and　although　they　were　somewhat　bewildered　by　the　multitude　of　knives　and　forks；　they　all；　with　one　or　two　exceptions；　rose　to　the　occasion　and　enjoyed　themselves　famously。　　The　excellent　decorum　observed　being　marred　only　by　one　or　two　regrettable　incidents。　　The　first　of　these　occurred　almost　as　soon　as　they　sat　down；　when　Ned　Dawson　who；　although　a　big　strong　fellow；　was　not　able　to　stand　much　beer；　not　being　used　to　it；　was　taken　ill　and　had　to　be　escorted　from　the　room　by　his　mate　Bundy　and　another　man。　　They　left　him　somewhere　outside　and　he　came　back　again　about　ten　minutes　afterwards；　much　better　but　looking　rather　pale；　and　took　his　seat　with　the　others。

The　turkeys；　the　roast　beef　and　the　boiled　mutton；　the　peas　and　beans　and　the　cabbage；　disappeared　with　astonishing　rapidity；　which　was　not　to　be　wondered　at；　for　they　were　all　very　hungry　from　the　long　drive；　and　nearly　everyone　made　a　point　of　having　at　least　one　helping　of　everything　there　was　to　be　had。　　Some　of　them　went　in　for　two　lots　of　soup。　　Then　for　the　next　course；　boiled　mutton　and　ham　or　turkey：　then　some　roast　beef　and　goose。　　Then　a　little　more　boiled　mutton　with　a　little　roast　beef。　　Each　of　the　three　boys　devoured　several　times　his　own　weight　of　everything；　to　say　nothing　of　numerous　bottles　of　lemonade　and　champagne　ginger　beer。

Crass　frequently　paused　to　mop　the　perspiration　from　his　face　and　neck　with　his　serviette。　　In　fact　everybody　had　a　good　time。　　There　was　enough　and　to　spare　of　everything　to　eat；　the　beer　was　of　the　best；　and　all　the　time；　amid　the　rattle　of　the　crockery　and　the　knives　and　forks；　the　proceedings　were　enlivened　by　many　jests　and　flashes　of　wit　that　continuously　kept　the　table　in　a　roar。

‘Chuck　us　over　another　dollop　of　that　there　white　stuff；　Bob；'　shouted　the　Semi…drunk　to　Crass；　indicating　the　blancmange。

Crass　reached　out　his　hand　and　took　hold　of　the　dish　containing　the　‘white　stuff'；　but　instead　of　passing　it　to　the　Semi…drunk；　he　proceeded　to　demolish　it　himself；　gobbling　it　up　quickly　directly　from　the　dish　with　a　spoon。

‘Why；　you're　eating　it　all　yerself；　yer　bleeder；'　cried　the　Semi…drunk　indignantly；　as　soon　as　he　realized　what　was　happening。

‘That's　all　right；　matey；'　replied　Crass　affably　as　he　deposited　the　empty　dish　on　the　table。　　‘It　don't　matter；　there's　plenty　more　where　it　come　from。　　Tell　the　landlord　to　bring　in　another　lot。'

Upon　being　applied　to；　the　landlord；　who　was　assisted　by　his　daughter；　two　other　young　women　and　two　young　men；　brought　in　several　more　lots　and　so　the　Semi…drunk　was　appeased。

As　for　the　plum…pudding　…　it　was　a　fair　knock…out；　just　like　Christmas：　but　as　Ned　Dawson　and　Bill　Bates　had　drunk　all　the　sauce　before　the　pudding　was　served；　they　all　had　to　have　their　first　helping　without　any。　　However；　as　the　landlord　brought　in　another　lot　shortly　afterwards；　that　didn't　matter　either。

As　soon　as　dinner　was　over；　Crass　rose　to　make　his　statement　as　secretary。　　Thirty…seven　men　had　paid　five　shillings　each：　that　made　nine　pounds　five　shillings。　　The　committee　had　decided　that　the　three　boys　…　the　painters'　boy；　the　carpenters'　boy　and　the　front　shop　boy　…　should　be　allowed　to　come　half…price：　that　made　it　nine　pounds　twelve　and　six。　　In　addition　to　paying　the　ordinary　five…shilling　subscription；　Mr　Rushton　had　given　one　pound　ten　towards　the　expenses。　（Loud　cheers。）　　And　several　other　gentlemen　had　also　given　something　towards　it。　　Mr　Sweater；　of　the　Cave；　one　pound。　　（Applause。）　　Mr　Grinder；　ten　shillings　in　addition　to　the　five…shilling　subscription。　（Applause。）　　Mr　Lettum；　ten　shillings；　as　well　as　the　five…shilling　subscription。　　（Applause。）　　Mr　Didlum；　ten　shillings　in　addition　to　the　five　shillings。　　（Cheers。）　　Mr　Toonarf；　ten　shillings　as　well　as　the　five…shilling　subscription。　　They　had　also　written　to　some　of　the　manufacturers　who　supplied　the　firm　with　materials；　and　asked　them　to　give　something：　some　of　'em　had　sent　half　a　crown；　some　five　shillings；　some　hadn't　answered　at　all；　and　two　of　'em　had　written　back　to　say　that　as　things　is　cut　so　fine　nowadays；　they　didn't　hardly　get　no　profit　on　their　stuff；　so　they　couldn't　afford　to　give　nothing；　but　out　of　all　the　firms　they　wrote　to　they　managed　to　get　thirty…two　and　sixpence　altogether；　making　a　grand　total　of　seventeen　pounds。

As　for　the　expenses；　the　dinner　was　two　and　six　a　head；　and　there　was　forty…five　of　them　there；　so　that　came　to　five　pounds　twelve　and　six。　Then　there　was　the　hire　of　the　brakes；　also　two　and　six　a　head；　five　pound　twelve　and　six；　which　left　a　surplus　of　five　pound　fifteen　to　be　shared　out　（applause）；　which　came　to　three　shillings　each　for　the　thirty…seven　men；　and　one　and　fourpence　for　each　of　the　boys。　　（Loud　and　prolonged　cheers。）

Crass；　Slyme　and　Bundy　now　walked　round　the　tables　distributing　the　share…out；　which　was　very　welcome　to　every