the golden age(金色时代)-第19章
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right to cry。 In thus usurping the prerogative of their victims； they ignore
the rules of the ring； and hit below the belt。 Charlotte was crying； of
course； but that counted for nothing。 Charlotte even cried when the pigs'
noses were ringed in due season； thereby evoking the cheery contempt of
the operators； who asserted they liked it； and doubtless knew。 But when
the cloud…compeller； her bolts laid aside； resorted to tears； mutinous
humanity had a right to feel aggrieved； and placed in a false and difficult
position。 What would the Romans have done； supposing Hannibal had
cried？ History has not even considered the possibility。 Rules and
precedents should be strictly observed on both sides； when they are
violated； the other party is justified in feeling injured。
There were no lessons that morning； naturallyanother grievance！
The fitness of things required that we should have struggled to the last
in a confused medley of moods and tenses； and parted for ever； flushed
with hatred； over the dismembered corpse of the multiplication table。
But this thing was not to be； and I was free to stroll by myself through the
garden； and combat； as best I might； this growing feeling of depression。
It was a wrong system altogether； I thought； this going of people one had
got used to。 Things ought always to continue as they had been。 Change
there must be； of course； pigs； for instance； came and went with disturbing
frequency
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〃Fired their ringing shot and passed； Hotly charged and sank at
last；〃
but Nature had ordered it so； and in requital had provided for rapid
successors。 Did you come to love a pig； and he was taken from you；
grief was quickly assuaged in the delight of selection from the new litter。
But now； when it was no question of a peerless pig； but only of a
governess； Nature seemed helpless； and the future held no litter of
oblivion。 Things might be better； or they might be worse； but they would
never be the same； and the innate conservatism of youth asks neither
poverty nor riches； but only immunity from change。
Edward slouched up alongside of me presently； with a hang…dog look
on him； as if he had been caught stealing jam。 〃What a lark it'll be when
she's really gone！〃 he observed； with a swagger obviously assumed。
〃Grand fun！〃 I replied； dolorously； and conversation flagged。
We reached the hen…house； and contemplated the banner of freedom
lying ready to flaunt the breezes at the supreme moment。
〃Shall you run it up；〃 I asked； 〃when the fly starts； oror wait a little
till it's out of sight？〃
Edward gazed around him dubiously。 〃We're going to have some rain；
I think；〃 he said； 〃andand it's a new flag。 It would be a pity to spoil it。
P'raps I won't run it up at all。〃
Harold came round the corner like a bison pursued by Indians。 〃I've
polished up the cannons；〃 he cried； 〃and they look grand！ Mayn't I load
'em now？〃
〃You leave 'em alone；〃 said Edward； severely； 〃or you'll be blowing
yourself up〃 （consideration for others was not usually Edward's strong
point）。 〃Don't touch the gunpowder till you're told； or you'll get your
head smacked。〃
Harold fell behind； limp； squashed； obedient。 〃She wants me to write
to her；〃 he began； presently。 〃Says she doesn't mind the spelling； it I'll
only write。 Fancy her saying that！〃
〃Oh； shut up； will you？〃 said Edward； savagely； and once more we
were silent； with only our thoughts for sorry company。
〃Let's go off to the copse；〃 I suggested timidly； feeling that something
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had to be done to relieve the tension； 〃and cut more new bows and
arrows。〃
〃She gave me a knife my last birthday；〃 said Edward； moodily； never
budging。 〃It wasn't much of a knifebut I wish I hadn't lost it。〃
〃When my legs used to ache；〃 I said； 〃she sat up half the night；
rubbing stuff on them。 I forgot all about that till this morning。〃
〃There's the fly！〃 cried Harold suddenly。 〃I can hear it scrunching on
the gravel。〃
Then for the first time we turned and stared one another in the face。
。 。 。 。 。
The fly and its contents had finally disappeared through the gate： the
rumble of its wheels had died away； and no flag floated defiantly in the
sun； no cannons proclaimed the passing of a dynasty。 From out the
frosted cake of our existence Fate had cut an irreplaceable segment； turn
which way we would； the void was present。 We sneaked off in different
directions； mutually undesirous of company； and it seemed borne in upon
me that I ought to go and dig my garden right over； from end to end。 It
didn't actually want digging； on the other hand； no amount of digging
could affect it； for good or for evil； so I worked steadily； strenuously；
under the hot sun； stifling thought in action。 At the end of an hour or so；
I was joined by Edward。
〃I've been chopping up wood；〃 he explained； in a guilty sort of way；
though nobody had called on him to account for his doings。
〃What for？〃 I inquired； stupidly。 〃There's piles and piles of it
chopped up already。〃
〃I know；〃 said Edward； 〃but there's no harm in having a bit over。
You never can tell what may happen。 But what have you been doing
all this digging for？〃
〃You said it was going to rain；〃 I explained； hastily； 〃so I thought I'd
get the digging done before it came。 Good gardeners always tell you
that's the right thing to do。〃
〃It did look like rain at one time；〃 Edward admitted； 〃but it's passed
off now。 Very queer weather we're having。 I suppose that's why I've
felt so funny all day。〃
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〃Yes； I suppose it's the weather；〃 I replied。 〃_I've_ been feeling
funny too。〃
The weather had nothing to do with it； as we well knew。 But we
would both have died rather than have admitted the real reason。
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THE BLUE ROOM
That nature has her moments of sympathy with man has been noted
often enough；and generally as a new discovery； to us； who had never
known any other condition of things； it seemed entirely right and fitting
that the wind sang and sobbed in the poplar tops； and in the lulls of it；
sudden spirts of rain spattered the already dusty roads； on that blusterous
March day when Edward and I awaited； on the station platform； the arrival
of the new tutor。 Needless to say； this arrangement had been planned by
an aunt； from some fond idea that our shy； innocent young natures would
unfold themselves during the walk from the station； and that on the
revelation of each other's more solid qualities that must then inevitably
ensue； an enduring friendship springing from mutual respect might be
firmly based。 A pretty dream；nothing more。 For Edward； who
foresaw that the brunt of tutorial oppression would have to be borne by
him； was sulky； monosyllabic； and determined to be as negatively
disagreeable as good manners would permit。 It was therefore evident
that I would have to be spokesman and purveyor of hollow civilities； and I
was none the more amiable on that account； all courtesies； welcomes；
explanations； and other court…chamberlain kind of business； being my
special aversion。 There was much of the tempestuous March weather in
the hearts of both of us； as we sullenly glowered along the carriage…
windows of the slackening train。
One is apt； however； to misjudge the special difficulties of a situation；
and the reception proved； after all； an easy and informal matter。 In a
trainful so uniformly bucolic； a tutor was readily recognisable； and his
portmanteau had been consigned to the luggage…cart； and his person
conveyed into the lane； before I had discharged one of my carefully
considered sentences。 I breathed more easily； and； looking up at our new
friend as we stepped out together； remembered that we had been counting
on something altogether more arid； scholastic； and severe。 A boyish
eager face and a petulant pince…nez；untidy hair；a head of constant quick
turns like a robin's； and a voice that kept breaking into alto；these were all
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very strange and new； but not in the least terrible。
He proceeded jerkily through the village； with glances on this side and
that； and 〃Charming；〃 he broke out presently； 〃quite too charming and
delightful！〃
I had not counted on this sort of thing； and glanced for help to Edward；
who； hands in pockets； looked grimly down his nose。 He had taken his
line； and meant to stick to it。
Meantime our friend had made an imaginary spy…glass out of his fist；
and was squinting through it at something I could not perceive。 〃What
an exquisite bit！〃 he burst out； 〃fifteenth century；no；yes； it is！〃
I began to feel puzzled；
