a simpleton-第16章

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〃Bless　the　child！〃　said　a　female　dealer；　kindly；　〃what　made　you　go
on　like　that？　　Why；　there　was　no　one　bid　against　you！　you'd　have
got　it　for　two　poundsa　rickety　old　thing。〃

Young　master　began　to　whimper。　　〃Why；　the　gentleman　said；　'Five
pounds　to　BEGIN。'　　It　was　the　chair　poor　grandpapa　always　sat　in；
and　all　the　things　are　sold；　and　mamma　said　it　would　break　her
heart　to　lose　it。　　She　was　too　ill　to　come；　so　she　sent　me。　　She
told　me　I　was　not　to　let　it　be　sold　away　from　us　for　less　than　ten
pounds；　or　she　shshould　be　mmmiserable；〃　and　the　poor　little
fellow　began　to　cry。　　Rosa　followed　suit　promptly　but　unobtrusively。

〃Sentiment　always　costs　money；〃　said　Mr。　Jacobs；　gravely。

〃How　do　you　know？〃　asked　Mr。　Cohen。　　〃Have　YOU　got　any　on　hand？　　I
never　seen　none　at　your　shop。〃

Some　tempting　things　now　came　up；　and　Mrs。　Staines　bid　freely；　but
all　of　a　sudden　she　looked　down　the　table；　and　there　was　Uncle
Philip；　twinkling　as　before。　　〃Oh；　dear！　what　am　I　doing　now！〃
thought　she。　　〃I　have　got　no　broker。〃

She　bid　on；　but　in　fear　and　trembling；　because　of　those　twinkling
eyes。　　At　last　she　mustered　courage；　wrote　on　a　leaf　of　her　pocket…
book；　and　passed　it　down　to　him：　〃It　would　be　only　kind　to　warn　me。
What　am　I　doing　wrong？〃

He　sent　her　back　a　line　directly：　〃Auctioneer　running　you　up
himself。　　Follow　his　eye　when　he　bids；　you　will　see　there　is　no
bona　fide　bidder　at　your　prices。〃

Rosa　did　so；　and　found　that　it　was　true。

She　nodded　to　Uncle　Philip；　and；　with　her　expressive　face；　asked
him　what　she　should　do。

The　old　boy　must　have　his　joke。　　So　he　wrote　back：　〃Tell　him；　as
you　see　he　has　a　fancy　for　certain　articles；　you　would　not　be　so
discourteous　as　to　bid　against　him。〃

The　next　article　but　one　was　a　drawing…room　suite　Rosa　wanted；　but
the　auctioneer　bid　against　her；　so　at　eighteen　pounds　she　stopped。

〃It　is　against　you；　madam；〃　said　the　auctioneer。

〃Yes；　sir；〃　said　Rosa；　〃but　as　you　are　the　only　bidder；　and　you
have　been　so　kind　to　me；　I　would　not　think　of　opposing　you。〃

The　words　were　scarcely　out　of　her　mouth；　when　they　were　greeted
with　a　roar　of　Homeric　laughter　that　literally　shook　the　room；　and
this　time　not　at　the　expense　of　the　innocent　speaker。

〃That's　into　your　mutton；　governor。〃

〃Sharp's　the　word　this　time。〃

〃I　say；　governor；　don't　you　want　a　broker　to　bid　for　ye？〃

〃Wink　at　me　next　time；　sir；　I'll　do　the　office　for　you。〃

〃No　greenhorns　left　now。〃

〃That　lady　won't　give　a　ten…pund　note　for　her　grandfather's
armchair。〃

〃Oh；　yes；　she　will；　if　it's　stuffed　with　banknotes。〃

〃Put　the　next　lot　up　with　the　owner's　name　and　the　reserve　price。
Open　business。〃

〃And　sing　a　psalm　at　starting。〃

〃A　little　less　noise　in　Judaea；　if　you　please；〃　said　the
auctioneer；　who　had　now　recovered　from　the　blow。　　〃Lot　97。〃

This　was　a　very　pretty　marqueterie　cabinet；　it　stood　against　the
wall；　and　Rosa　had　set　her　heart　upon　it。　　Nobody　would　bid。　　She
had　muzzled　the　auctioneer　effectually。

〃Your　own　price。〃

〃Two　pounds；〃　said　Rosa。

A　dealer　offered　guineas；　and　it　advanced　slowly　to　four　pounds　and
half　a　crown；　at　which　it　was　about　to　be　knocked　down　to　Rosa；
when　suddenly　a　new　bidder　arose　in　the　broker　Rosa　had　rejected。
They　bid　slowly　and　sturdily　against　each　other；　until　a　line　was
given　to　Rosa　from　Uncle　Philip。

〃This　time　it　is　your　own　friend；　the　snipe…nosed　woman。　　She
telegraphed　a　broker。〃

Rosa　read；　and　crushed　the　note。　　〃Six　guineas；〃　said　she。

〃Six…ten。〃

〃Seven。〃

〃Seven…ten。〃

〃Eight。〃

〃Eight…ten。〃

〃Ten　guineas；〃　said　Rosa；　and　then；　with　feminine　cunning；　stealing
a　sudden　glance；　caught　her　friend　leaning　back　and　signalling　the
broker　not　to　give　in。

〃Eleven　pounds。〃

〃Twelve。〃

〃Thirteen。〃

〃Fourteen。〃

〃Sixteen。〃

〃Eighteen。〃

〃Twenty。〃

〃Twenty　guineas。〃

〃It　is　yours；　my　faithful　friend；〃　said　Rosa；　turning　suddenly
round　to　Mrs。　Cole；　with　a　magnificent　glance　no　one　would　have
thought　her　capable　of。

Then　she　rose　and　stalked　away。

Dumfounded　for　the　moment；　Mrs。　Cole　followed　her；　and　stopped　her
at　the　door。

〃Why；　Rosie　dear；　it　is　the　only　thing　I　have　bid　for。　　There　I've
sat　by　your　side　like　a　mouse。〃

Rosa　turned　gravely　towards　her。　　〃You　know　it　is　not　that。　　You
had　only　to　tell　me　you　wanted　it。　　I　would　never　have　been　so　mean
as　to　bid　against　you。〃

〃Mean；　indeed！〃　said。　　Florence；　tossing　her　head。

〃Yes；　mean；　to　draw　back　and　hide　behind　the　friend　you　were　with；
and　employ　the　very　rogue　she　had　turned　off。　　But　it　is　my　own
fault。　　Cecilia　warned　me　against　you。　　She　always　said　you　were　a
treacherous　girl。〃

〃And　I　say　you　are　an　impudent　little　minx。　　Only　just　married；　and
going　about　like　two　vagabonds；　and　talk　to　me　like　that！〃

〃We　are　not　going　about　like　two　vagabonds。　　We　have　taken　a　house
in　Mayfair。〃

〃Say　a　stable。〃

〃It　was　by　your　advice；　you　false…hearted　creature。〃

〃You　are　a　fool。〃

〃You　are　worse；　you　are　a　traitress。〃

〃Then　don't　you　have　anything　to　do　with　me。〃

〃Heaven　forbid　I　should；　you　treacherous　thing！〃

〃You　insolentinsolentI　hate　you。〃

〃And　I　despise　you。〃

〃I　always　hated　you　at　bottom。〃

〃That's　why　you　pretended　to　love　me；　you　wretch。〃

〃Well；　I　pretend　no　more。　　I　am　your　enemy　for　life。〃

〃Thank　you。　　You　have　told　the　truth　for　once　in　your　life。〃

〃I　have。　　And　he　shall　never　call　in　your　husband；　so　you　may　leave
Mayfair　as　soon　as　you　like。〃

〃Not　to　please　you；　madam。　　We　can　get　on　without　traitors。〃

And　so　they　parted；　with　eyes　that　gleamed　like　tigers。

Rosa　drove　home　in　great　agitation；　and　tried　to　tell　Christopher；
but　choked；　and　became　hysterical。　　The　husband…physician　coaxed
and　scolded　her　out　of　that；　and　presently　in　came　Uncle　Philip；
full　of　the　humors　of　the　auction…room。　　He　told　about　the　little
boy　with　a　delight　that　disgusted　Mrs。　Staines；　and　then　was
particularly　merry　on　female　friendships。　　〃Fancy　a　man　going　to　a
sale　with　his　friend；　and　bidding　against　him　on　the　sly。〃

〃She　is　no　friend　of　mine。　　We　are　enemies　for　life。〃

〃And　you　were　to　be　friends　till　death；〃　said　Staines；　with　a　sigh。

Philip　inquired　who　she　was。

〃Mrs。　John　Cole。〃

〃Not　of　Curzon　Street？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃And　you　have　quarrelled　with　her？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃Well；　but　her　husband　is　a　general　practitioner。〃

〃She　is　a　traitress。〃

〃But　her　husband　could　put　a　good　deal　of　money　in　Christopher's
way。〃

〃I　can't　help　it。　　She　is　a　traitress。〃

〃And　you　have　quarrelled　with　her　about　an　old　wardrobe。〃

〃No；　for　her　disloyalty；　and　her　base　good…for…nothingness。　　Oh！
oh！　oh！〃

Uncle　Philip　got　up；　looking　sour。　　〃Good　afternoon；　Mrs。
Christopher；〃　said　he；　very　dryly。

Christopher　accompanied　him　to　the　foot　of　the　stairs。　　〃Well；
Christopher；〃　said　he；　〃matrimony　is　a　blunder　at　the　best；　and　you
have　not　done　the　thing　by　halves。　　You　have　married　a　simpleton。
She　will　be　your　ruin。〃

〃Uncle　Philip；　since　you　only　come　here　to　insult　us；　I　hope　in
future　you　will　stay　at　home。〃

〃Oh！　with　pleasure；　sir。　　Good…by！〃


CHAPTER　VII。


Christopher　Staines　came　back；　looking　pained　and　disturbed。
〃There；〃　said　he；　〃I　feared　it　would　come　to　this。　　I　have
quarrelled　with　Uncle　Philip。〃

〃Oh！　how　could　you？〃

〃He　affronted　me。〃

〃What　about？〃

〃Never　you　mind。　　Don't　let　us　say　anything　more　about　it；　darling。
It　is　a　pity；　a　sad　pityhe　was　a　good　friend　of　mine　once。〃

He　paused；　entered　what　had　passed　in　his　diary；　and　then　sat　down；
with　a　gentle　expression　of　sadness　on　his　manly　features。　　Rosa
hung　about　him；　soft　and　pitying；　till　it　cleared　away；　at　all
events　for　the　time。

Next　day　they　went　together　to　clear　the　goods　Rosa　had　purchased。
Whilst　the　list　was　being　made　out　in　the　office；　in　came　the　fair…
haired　boy；　with　a　ten…pound　note　in　his　very　hand。　　Rosa　caught
sight　of　it；　and　turned　to　the　auctioneer；　with　a　sweet；　pitying
face：

〃Oh！　sir；　surely　you　will　not　take　all　that　money　from　him；　poor
child；　for　a　rickety　old　chair。〃

The　auctioneer　stared　with　amazement　at　her　simplicity；　and　said；
〃What　would　the　vendors　say　to　me？〃

She　looked　distressed；　and　said；　〃Well；　then；　really　we　ought　to
raise　a　subscription；　poor　thing！〃

〃Why；　ma'am；〃　said　the　auctioneer；　〃he　isn't　hurt：　the　article
belonged　to　his　mother　and　her　sister；　the　brother…in…law　isn't　on
good　terms；　so　he　demanded　a　public　sale。　　She　will　get　back　four
pun　ten　out　of　it。〃　　Here　the　clerk　put　in　his　word。　　〃And　there's
five　pounds　paid；　I　forgot　to　tell　you。〃

〃Oh！　left　a　deposit；　did　he？〃

〃No；　sir。　　But　the　laughing　hyena　gave　you　five　pounds　at　the　end
of　the　sale。〃

〃The　laughing　hyena；　Mr。　Jones？〃

〃Oh！　beg　pardon；　that　is　what　we　call　him　in　the　room。　　He　has　got
such　a　curious　laugh。〃

〃Oh！　I　know　the　gent。　　He　is　a　retired　doctor。　　I　wish　he'd　laugh
less　and　buy　more：　and　HE　gave　you　five　pounds　towards　the　young
gentleman's　arm…chair！　　Well；　I　should　as　soon　have　expected　blood
from　a　flint。　　You　have　got　five　pounds　to　pay；　sir：　so　now　the
chair　will　cost　your　mamma　ten　shillings。　　Give　him　the　order　and
the　change；　Mr。　Jones。〃

Christopher　and　Rosa　talked　this　over　in　the　room　whilst　the　men
were　looking　out　their　purchases。　　〃Come；〃　said　Rosa；　〃now　I
forgive　him　sneering　at　me；　his　heart　is　not　really　hard；　you　see。〃
Staines；　on　the　contrary；　was　very　angry。　　〃What！〃　he　cried；　pity　a
boy　who　made　one　bad　bargain；　that；　after　all；　was　not　a　very　bad
bargain；　and　he　had　no　kindness；　nor　even　common　humanity；　for　my
beautiful　Rosa；　inexperienced　as　a　child；　and　buying　for　her
husband；　like　a　good；　affectionate；　honest　creature；　amongst　a　lot
of　sharpers　and　hard…hearted　cynicslike　himself。〃

〃It　WAS　cruel　of　him；〃　said　Rosa；　altering　her　mind　in　a　moment；
and　half　inclined　to　cry。

This　made　Christopher　furious。　　〃The　ill…natured；　crotchety；　old
the　fact　is；　he　is　a　misogynist。〃

〃Oh；　the　wretch！〃　said　Rosa　warmly。　　〃And　what　is　that？〃

〃A　woman…hater。〃

〃Oh！　is　that　all？　　Why；　so　do　Iafter　that　Florence　Cole。　　Women
are　mean；　heartless　things。　　Give　me　men；　they　are　loyal　and　true。〃

〃All　of　them？〃　inquired　Christopher；　a　little　satirically。　　〃Read
the　papers。〃

〃Every　soul　of　them；〃　said　Mrs。　Staines；　passing　loftily　over　the
proposed　test。　　〃That　is；　all　the　ones　I　care　about；　and　that　is　my
own；　own　one。〃

Disagreeable　creatures　to　have　about　onethese　simpletons！

Mrs。　Staines　took　Christopher　to　shops　to　buy　the　remaining
requisites：　and　in　three　days　more　the　house　was　furnished；　two
female　servants　engaged；　and　the　couple　took　their　luggage　over　to
the　Bijou。

Rosa　was　excited　and　happy　at　the　novelty　of　possession　and
authority；　and　that　close　sense　of　house　proprietorship　which
belongs　to　woman。　　By　dinner…time　she　could　have　told　you　how　many
shelves　there　were　in　every　cupboard；　and　knew　the　Bijou　by　heart
in　a　way　that　Christopher　never　knew　it。　　All　this　ended；　as
running　about　and　excitement　generally　does；　with　my　lady　being
exhausted；　and　lax　with　fatigue。　　So　then　he　made　her　lie　down　on　a
little　couch；　while　he　went　through　his　accounts。

When　he　had　examined　all　the　bills　carefully　he　looked　very　grave