a simpleton-第32章

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〃Well；　I　don't　wonder；〃　cried　little　Tadcaster　warmly。　　〃She　is；
oh；　so　beautiful！〃　and　a　sudden　blush　o'erspread　his　pasty　cheeks。
〃Why　on　earth　didn't　we　bring　her　along　with　us　here？〃　said　he；
suddenly　opening　his　eyes　with　astonishment　at　the　childish
omission。

〃Why；　indeed？〃　said　the　captain　comically；　and　dived　below；
attended　by　the　well…disciplined　laughter　of　Lieutenant　Fitzroy；
who　was　too　good　an　officer　not　to　be　amused　at　his　captain's
jokes。　　Having　acquitted　himself　of　that　dutyand　it　is　a　very
difficult　one　sometimeshe　took　Lord　Tadcaster　to　the　main…deck；
and　showed　him　two　comfortable　sleeping…berths　that　had　been
screened　off　for　him　and　Dr。　Staines；　one　of　these　was　fitted　with
a　standing　bed…place；　the　other　had　a　cot　swung　in　it。　　Fitzroy
offered　him　the　choice；　but　hinted　that　he　himself　preferred　a　cot。

〃No；　thank　you；〃　says　my　lord　mighty　dryly。

〃All　right；〃　said　Fitzroy　cheerfully。　　〃Take　the　other；　then；　my
lord。〃

His　little　lordship　cocked　his　eye　like　a　jackdaw；　and　looked
almost　as　cunning。　　〃You　see；〃　said　he；　〃I　have　been　reading　up　for
this　voyage。〃

〃Oh；　indeed！　　Logarithms？〃

〃Of　course　not。〃

〃What　then？〃

〃Why；　'Peter　Simple'to　be　sure。〃

〃Ah；　ha！〃　said　Fitzroy；　with　a　chuckle　that　showed　plainly　he　had
some　delicious　reminiscences　of　youthful　study　in　the　same　quarter。

The　little　lord　chuckled　too；　and　put　one　finger　on　Fitzroy's
shoulder；　and　pointed　at　the　cot　with　another。　　〃Tumble　out　the
other　side；　you　knowslippery　hitchescords　cutdown　you　come
flop　in　the　middle　of　the　night。〃

Fitzroy's　eye　flashed　merriment：　but　only　for　a　moment。　　His
countenance　fell　the　next。　　〃Lord　bless　you；〃　said　he　sorrowfully；
〃all　that　game　is　over　now。　　Her　Majesty's　ship！it　is　a　church
afloat。　　The　service　is　going　to　the　devil；　as　the　old　fogies　say。〃

〃Ain't　you　sorry？〃　says　the　little　lord；　cocking　his　eye　again　like
the　bird　hereinbefore　mentioned。

〃Of　course　I　am。〃

〃Then　I'll　take　the　standing　bed。〃

〃All　right。　　I　say；　you　don't　mind　the　doctor　coming　down　with　a
run；　eh？〃

〃He　is　not　ill：　I　am。　　He　is　paid　to　take　care　of　me：　I　am　not　paid
to　take　care　of　him；〃　said　the　young　lord　sententiously。

〃I　understand；〃　replied　Fitzroy；　dryly。　　〃Well；　every　one　for
himself；　and　Providence　for　us　allas　the　elephant　said　when　he
danced　among　the　chickens。〃

Here　my　lord　was　summoned　to　dine　with　the　captain。　　Staines　was
not　there；　but　he　had　not　forgotten　his　duty；　in　the　midst　of　his
grief　he　had　written　a　note　to　the　captain；　hoping　that　a　bereaved
husband　might　not　seem　to　desert　his　post　if　he　hid　for　a　few　hours
the　sorrow　he　felt　himself　unable　to　control。　　Meantime　he　would　be
grateful　if　Captain　Hamilton　would　give　orders　that　Lord　Tadcaster
should　eat　no　pastry；　and　drink　only　six　ounces　of　claret；
otherwise　he　should　feel　that　he　was　indeed　betraying　his　trust。

The　captain　was　pleased　and　touched　with　this　letter。　　It　recalled
to　him　how　his　mother　sobbed　when　she　launched　her　little　middy；
swelling　with　his　first　cocked　hat　and　dirk。

There　was　champagne　at　dinner；　and　little　Tadcaster　began　to　pour
out　a　tumbler。　　〃Hold　on！〃　said　Captain　Hamilton；　〃you　are　not　to
drink　that；〃　and　he　quietly　removed　the　tumbler。　　〃Bring　him　six
ounces　of　claret。〃

While　they　were　weighing　the　claret　with　scientific　precision；
Tadcaster　remonstrated；　and；　being　told　it　was　the　doctor's　order；
he　squeaked　out；　〃Confound　him！　why　did　not　he　stay　with　his　wife？
She　is　beautiful。〃　　Nor　did　he　give　it　up　without　a　struggle。
〃Here's　hospitality！〃　said　he。　　〃Six　ounces！〃

Receiving　no　reply；　he　inquired　of　the　third　lieutenant；　which　was
generally　considered　the　greatest　authority　in　a　shipthe　captain；
or　the　doctor。

The　third　lieutenant　answered　not；　but　turned　his　head　away；　and；
by　violent　exertion；　succeeded　in　not　splitting。

〃I'll　answer　that；〃　said　Hamilton　politely。　　〃The　captain　is　the
highest　in　his　department；　and　the　doctor　in　his：　now　Doctor
Staines　is　strictly　within　his　department；　and　will　be　supported　by
me　and　my　officers。　　You　are　bilious；　and　epileptical；　and　all　the
rest　of　it；　and　you　are　to　be　cured　by　diet　and　blue　water。〃

Tadcaster　was　inclined　to　snivel：　however；　he　subdued　that　weakness
with　a　visible　effort；　and；　in　due　course；　returned　to　the　charge。
〃How　would　you　look；〃　quavered　he；　〃if　there　was　to　be　a　mutiny　in
this　ship　of　yours；　and　I　was　to　head　it？'

〃Well；　I　should　look　SHARPhang　all　the　ringleaders　at　the
yardarm；　clap　the　rest　under　hatches；　and　steer　for　the　nearest
prison。〃

〃Oh！〃　said　Tadcaster；　and　digested　this　scheme　a　bit。　　At　last　he
perked　up　again；　and　made　his　final　hit。　　〃Well；　I　shouldn't　care；
for　one；　if　you　didn't　flog　us。〃

〃In　that　case；〃　said　Captain　Hamilton；　〃I'd　flog　youand　stop　your
six　ounces。〃

〃Then　curse　the　sea；　that　is　all　I　say。〃

〃Why；　you　have　not　seen　it；　you　have　only　seen　the　British
Channel。〃　　It　was　Mr。　Fitzroy　who　contributed　this　last　observation。

After　dinner　all　but　the　captain　went　on　deck；　and　saw　the
Eddystone　lighthouse　ahead　and　to　leeward。　　They　passed　it。
Fitzroy　told　his　lordship　its　story；　and　that　of　its　unfortunate
predecessors。　　Soon　after　this　Lord　Tadcaster　turned　in。

Presently　the　captain　observed　a　change　in　the　thermometer；　which
brought　him　on　deck。　　He　scanned　the　water　and　the　sky；　and　as
these　experienced　commanders　have　a　subtle　insight　into　the
weather；　especially　in　familiar　latitudes；　he　remarked　to　the　first
lieutenant　that　it　looked　rather　unsettled；　and；　as　a　matter　of
prudence；　ordered　a　reef　in　the　topsails；　and　the　royal　yards　to　be
sent　down：　ship　to　be　steered　W。　by　S。　　This　done；　he　turned　in；
but　told　them　to　call　him　if　there　was　any　change　in　the　weather。

During　the　night　the　wind　gradually　headed；　and　at　four　bells　in
the　middle　watch　a　heavy　squall　came　up　from　the　south…west。

This　brought　the　captain　on　deck　again：　he　found　the　officer　of　the
watch　at　his　post；　and　at　work。　　Sail　was　shortened；　and　the　ship
made　snug　for　heavy　weather。

At　four　A。M。　it　was　blowing　hard；　and；　being　too　near　the　French
coast；　they　wore　the　ship。

Now；　this　operation　was　bad　for　little　Tadcaster。　　While　the　vessel
was　on　the　starboard　tack；　the　side　kept　him　snug；　but；　when　they
wore　her；　of　course　he　had　no　leeboard　to　keep　him　in。　　The　ship
gave　a　lee…lurch；　and　shot　him　clean　out　of　his　bunk　into　the
middle　of　the　cabin。

He　shrieked　and　shrieked；　with　terror　and　pain；　till　the　captain
and　Staines；　who　were　his　nearest　neighbors；　came　to　him；　and　they
gave　him　a　little　brandy；　and　got　him　to　bed　again。　　Here　he
suffered　nothing　but　violent　seasickness　for　some　hours。　　As　for
Staines；　he　had　been　swinging　heavily　in　his　cot；　but　such　was　his
mental　distress　that　he　would　have　welcomed　seasickness；　or　any
reasonable　bodily　suffering。　　He　was　in　that　state　when　the　sting
of　a　wasp　is　a　touch　of　comfort。

Worn　out　with　sickness；　Tadcaster　would　not　move。　　Invited　to
breakfast；　he　swore　faintly；　and　insisted　on　dying　in　peace。　　At
last　exhaustion　gave　him　a　sort　of　sleep；　in　spite　of　the　motion；
which　was　violent；　for　it　was　now　blowing　great　guns；　a　heavy　sea
on；　and　the　great　waves　dirty　in　color　and　crested　with　raging
foam。

They　had　to　wear　ship　again；　always　a　ticklish　manoeuvre　in　weather
like　this。

A　tremendous　sea　struck　her　quarter；　stove　in　the　very　port　abreast
of　which　the　little　lord　was　lying；　and　washed　him　clean　out　of　bed
into　the　lee　scuppers；　and　set　all　swimming　around　him。

Didn't　he　yell；　and　wash　about　the　cabin；　and　grab　at　all　the
chairs　and　tables　and　things　that　drifted　about；　nimble　as　eels；
avoiding　his　grasp！

In　rushed　the　captain；　and　in　staggered　Staines。　　They　stopped　his
〃voyage　autour　de　sa　chambre；〃　and　dragged　him　into　the　after
saloon。

He　clung　to　them　by　turns；　and　begged；　with　many　tears；　to　be　put
on　the　nearest　land；　a　rock　would　do。

〃Much　obliged；〃　said　the　captain；　〃now　is　the　very　time　to　give
rocks　a　wide　berth。〃

〃A　dead　whale；　thena　lighthouseanything　but　a　beast　of　a　ship。〃

They　pacified　him　with　a　little　brandy；　and　for　the　next　twenty…
four　hours　he　scarcely　opened　his　mouth；　except　for　a　purpose　it　is
needless　to　dwell　on。　　We　can　trust　to　our　terrestrial　readers'
personal　reminiscences　of　lee…lurches；　weather…rolls；　and　their
faithful　concomitant。

At　last　they　wriggled　out　of　the　Channel；　and　soon　after　that　the
wind　abated；　and　next　day　veered　round　to　the　northward；　and　the
ship　sailed　almost　on　an　even　keel。　　The　motion　became　as　heavenly
as　it　had　been　diabolical；　and　the　passengers　came　on　deck。

Staines　had　suffered　one　whole　day　from　sea…sickness；　but　never
complained。　　I　believe　it　did　his　mind　more　good　than　harm。

As　for　Tadcaster；　he　continued　to　suffer；　at　intervals；　for　two
days　more；　but　on　the　fifth　day　out　he　appeared　with　a　little　pink
tinge　on　his　cheek　and　a　wolfish　appetite。　　Dr。　Staines　controlled
his　diet　severely；　as　to　quality；　and；　when　they　had　been　at　sea
just　eleven　days；　the　physician's　heavy　heart　was　not　a　little
lightened　by　the　marvellous　change　in　him。　　The　unthinking；　who
believe　in　the　drug　system；　should　have　seen　what　a　physician　can
do　with　air　and　food；　when　circumstances　enable　him　to　ENFORCE　the
diet　he　enjoins。　　Money　will　sometimes　buy　even　health；　if　you
AVOID　DRUGS　ENTIRELY；　and　go　another　road。

Little　Tadcaster　went　on　board；　pasty；　dim…eyed；　and　very　subject
to　fits；　because　his　stomach　was　constantly　overloaded　with
indigestible　trash；　and　the　blood　in　his　brain…vessels　was　always
either　galloping　or　creeping；　under　the　first　or　second　effect　of
stimulants　administered；　at　first；　by　thoughtless　physicians。
Behold　him　nowbronzed；　pinky；　bright…eyed；　elastic；　and　only　one
fit　in　twelve　days。

The　quarter…deck　was　hailed　from　the　〃look…out〃　with　a　cry　that　is
sometimes　terrible；　but　in　this　latitude　and　weather　welcome　and
exciting。　　〃Land；　ho！〃

〃Where　away？〃　cried　the　officer　of　the　watch。

〃A　point　on　the　lee…bow；　sir。〃

It　was　the　island　of　Madeira：　they　dropped　anchor　in　Funchal　Roads；
furled　sails；　squared　yards；　and　fired　a　salute　of　twenty…one　guns
for　the　Portuguese　flag。

They　went　ashore；　and　found　a　good　hotel；　and　were　no　longer　dosed；
as　in　former　days；　with　oil；　onions；　garlic；　eggs。　　But　the　wine
queer；　and　no　madeira　to　be　got。

Staines　wrote　home　to　his　wife：　he　told　her　how　deeply　he　had　felt
the　bereavement；　but　did　not　dwell　on　that；　his　object　being　to
cheer　her。　　He　told　her　it　promised　to　be　a　rapid　and　wonderful
cure；　and　one　that　might　very　well　give　him　a　fresh　start　in
London。　　They　need　not　be　parted　a　whole　year；　he　thought。　　He　sent
her　a　very　long　letter；　and　also　such　extracts　from　his　sea　journal
as　he　thought　might　please　her。　　After　dinner　they　inspected　the
town；　and　what　struck　them　most　was　to　find　the　streets　paved　with
flag…stones；　and　most　of　the　carts　drawn　by　bullocks　on　sledges。　　A
man　every　now　and　then　would　run　forward　and　drop　a　greasy　cloth　in
front　of　the　sledge；　to　lubricate　the　way。

Next　day；　after　breakfast；　they　ordered　horses；　these　on
inspection；　proved　to　be　of　excellent　breed；　either　from　Australia
or　Americavery