the wheels of chance-第17章

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〃Make　the　best　of　it；〃　and　presently；　when　it　came　to　hair…brushing；　he　had　to　smooth　his　troubled　locks　with　his　hands。　It　was　a　poor　result。　〃Sneak　out　and　get　a　shave；　I　suppose；　and　buy　a　brush　and　so　on。　Chink　again！　Beard　don't　show　much。〃

He　ran　his　hand　over　his　chin；　looked　at　himself　steadfastly　for　some　time；　and　curled　his　insufficient　moustache　up　with　some　care。　Then　he　fell　a…meditating　on　his　beauty。　He　considered　himself；　three…quarter　face；　left　and　right。　An　expression　of　distaste　crept　over　his　features。　〃Looking　won't　alter　it；　Hoopdriver；〃　he　remarked。　〃You're　a　weedy　customer；　my　man。　Shoulders　narrow。　Skimpy；　anyhow。〃

He　put　his　knuckles　on　the　toilet　table　and　regarded　himself　with　his　chin　lifted　in　the　air。　〃Good　Lord！〃　he　said。　〃WHAT　a　neck！　Wonder　why　I　got　such　a　thundering　lump　there。〃

He　sat　down　on　the　bed；　his　eye　still　on　the　glass。　〃If　I'd　been　exercised　properly；　if　I'd　been　fed　reasonable；　if　I　hadn't　been　shoved　out　of　a　silly　school　into　a　silly　shopBut　there！　the　old　folks　didn't　know　no　better。　The　schoolmaster　ought　to　have。　But　he　didn't；　poor　old　fool！Still；　when　it　comes　to　meeting　a　girl　like　thisIt's　'ARD。

〃I　wonder　what　Adam'd　think　of　meas　a　specimen。　Civilisation；　eigh？　Heir　of　the　ages！　I'm　nothing。　I　know　nothing。　I　can't　do　anythingsketch　a　bit。　Why　wasn't　I　made　an　artist？　

〃Beastly　cheap；　after　all；　this　suit　does　look；　in　the　sunshine。〃

〃No　good；　Hoopdriver。　Anyhow；　you　don't　tell　yourself　any　lies　about　it。　Lovers　ain't　your　game；anyway。　But　there's　other　things　yet。　You　can　help　the　young　lady；　and　you　willI　suppose　she'll　be　going　homeAnd　that　business　of　the　bicycle's　to　see　to；　too；　my　man。　FORWARD；　Hoopdriver！　If　you　ain't　a　beauty；　that's　no　reason　why　you　should　stop　and　be　copped；　is　it？〃

And　having　got　back　in　this　way　to　a　gloomy　kind　of　self…satisfaction；　he　had　another　attempt　at　his　hair　preparatory　to　leaving　his　room　and　hurrying　on　breakfast；　for　an　early　departure。　While　breakfast　was　preparing　he　wandered　out　into　South　Street　and　refurnished　himself　with　the　elements　of　luggage　again。　〃No　expense　to　be　spared；〃　he　murmured；　disgorging　the　half…sovereign。



THE　DEPARTURE　FROM　CHICHESTER

XXVIII

He　caused　his　'sister'　to　be　called　repeatedly；　and　when　she　came　down；　explained　with　a　humorous　smile　his　legal　relationship　to　the　bicycle　in　the　yard。　〃Might　be　disagreeable；　y'　know。〃　His　anxiety　was　obvious　enough。　〃Very　well；〃　she　said　（quite　friendly）；　〃hurry　breakfast；　and　we'll　ride　out。　I　want　to　talk　things　over　with　you。〃　The　girl　seemed　more　beautiful　than　ever　after　the　night's　sleep；　her　hair　in　comely　dark　waves　from　her　forehead；　her　ungauntleted　finger…tips　pink　and　cool。　And　how　decided　she　was！　Breakfast　was　a　nervous　ceremony；　conversation　fraternal　but　thin；　the　waiter　overawed　him；　and　he　was　cowed　by　a　multiplicity　of　forks。　But　she　called　him　〃Chris。〃　They　discussed　their　route　over　his　sixpenny　county　map　for　the　sake　of　talking；　but　avoided　a　decision　in　the　presence　of　the　attendant。　The　five…pound　note　was　changed　for　the　bill；　and　through　Hoopdriver's　determination　to　be　quite　the　gentleman；　the　waiter　and　chambermaid　got　half　a　crown　each　and　the　ostler　a　florin。　〃'Olidays；〃　said　the　ostler　to　himself；　without　gratitude。　The　public　mounting　of　the　bicycles　in　the　street　was　a　moment　of　trepidation。　A　policeman　actually　stopped　and　watched　them　from　the　opposite　kerb。　Suppose　him　to　come　across　and　ask：　〃Is　that　your　bicycle；　sir？〃　Fight？　Or　drop　it　and　run？　It　was　a　time　of　bewildering　apprehension；　too；　going　through　the　streets　of　the　town；　so　that　a　milk　cart　barely　escaped　destruction　under　Mr。　Hoopdriver's　chancy　wheel。　That　recalled　him　to　a　sense　of　erratic　steering；　and　he　pulled　himself　together。　In　the　lanes　he　breathed　freer；　and　a　less　formal　conversation　presently　began。

〃You've　ridden　out　of　Chichester　in　a　great　hurry；〃　said　Jessie。

〃Well；　the　fact　of　it　is；　I'm　worried；　just　a　little　bit。　About　this　machine。〃

〃Of　course；〃　she　said。　〃I　had　forgotten　that。　But　where　are　we　going？〃

〃Jest　a　turning　or　two　more；　if　you　don't　mind；〃　said　Hoopdriver。

〃Jest　a　mile　or　so。　I　have　to　think　of　you；　you　know。　I　should　feel　more　easy。　If　we　was　locked　up；　you　knowNot　that　I　should　mind　on　my　own　account〃

They　rode　with　a　streaky；　grey　sea　coming　and　going　on　their　left　hand。　Every　mile　they　put　between　themselves　and　Chichester　Mr。　Hoopdriver　felt　a　little　less　conscience…stricken；　and　a　little　more　of　the　gallant　desperado。　Here　he　was　riding　on　a　splendid　machine　with　a　Slap…up　girl　beside　him。　What　would　they　think　of　it　in　the　Emporium　if　any　of　them　were　to　see　him？　He　imagined　in　detail　the　astonishment　of　Miss　Isaacs　and　of　Miss　Howe。　〃Why！　It's　Mr。　Hoopdriver；〃　Miss　Isaacs　would　say。　〃Never！〃　emphatically　from　Miss　Howe。　Then　he　played　with　Briggs；　and　then　tried　the　'G。V。'　in　a　shay。　〃Fancy　introducing　'em　to　herMy　sister　pro　tem。〃　He　was　her　brother　ChrisChris　what？Confound　it！　Harringon；　Hartingtonsomething　like　that。　Have　to　keep　off　that　topic　until　he　could　remember。　Wish　he'd　told　her　the　truth　nowalmost。　He　glanced　at　her。　She　was　riding　with　her　eyes　straight　ahead　of　her。　Thinking。　A　little　perplexed；　perhaps；　she　seemed。　He　noticed　how　well　she　rode　and　that　she　rode　with　her　lips　closeda　thing　he　could　never　manage。

Mr。　Hoopdriver's　mind　came　round　to　the　future。　What　was　she　going　to　do？　What　were　they　both　going　to　do？　His　thoughts　took　a　graver　colour。　He　had　rescued　her。　This　was　fine；　manly　rescue　work　he　was　engaged　upon。　She　ought　to　go　home；　in　spite　of　that　stepmother。　He　must　insist　gravely　but　firmly　upon　that。　She　was　the　spirited　sort；　of　course；　but　stillWonder　if　she　had　any　money？　Wonder　what　the　second…class　fare　from　Havant　to　London　is？　Of　course　he　would　have　to　pay　thatit　was　the　regular　thing；　he　being　a　gentleman。　Then　should　he　take　her　home？　He　began　to　rough　in　a　moving　sketch　of　the　return。　The　stepmother；　repentant　of　her　indescribable　cruelties；　would　be　present；even　these　rich　people　have　their　troubles；probably　an　uncle　or　two。　The　footman　would　announce；　Mr。（bother　that　name！）　and　Miss　Milton。　Then　two　women　weeping　together；　and　a　knightly　figure　in　the　background　dressed　in　a　handsome　Norfolk　jacket；　still　conspicuously　new。　He　would　conceal　his　feeling　until　the　very　end。　Then；　leaving；　he　would　pause　in　the　doorway　in　such　an　attitude　as　Mr。　George　Alexander　might　assume；　and　say；　slowly　and　dwindlingly：　〃Be　kind　to　herBE　kind　to　her；〃　and　so　depart；　heartbroken　to　the　meanest　intelligence。　But　that　was　a　matter　for　the　future。　He　would　have　to　begin　discussing　the　return　soon。　There　was　no　traffic　along　the　road；　and　he　came　up　beside　her　（he　had　fallen　behind　in　his　musing）。　She　began　to　talk。　〃Mr。　Denison；〃　she　began；　and　then；　doubtfully；　〃That　is　your　name？　I'm　very　stupid〃

〃It　is；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　（Denison；　was　it？　Denison；　Denison；　Denison。　What　was　she　saying？）

〃I　wonder　how　far　you　are　willing　to　help　me？〃　Confoundedly　hard　to　answer　a　question　like　that　on　the　spur　of　the　moment；　without　steering　wildly。　〃You　may　rely〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver；　recovering　from　a　violent　wabble。　〃I　can　assure　you　I　want　to　help　you　very　much。　Don't　consider　me　at　all。　Leastways；　consider　me　entirely　at　your　service。〃　（Nuisance　not　to　be　able　to　say　this　kind　of　thing　right。）

〃You　see；　I　am　so　awkwardly　situated。〃

〃If　I　can　only　help　youyou　will　make　me　very　happy〃　There　was　a　pause。　Round　a　bend　in　the　road　they　came　upon　a　grassy　space　between　hedge　and　road；　set　with　yarrow　and　meadowsweet；　where　a　felled　tree　lay　among　the　green。　There　she　dismounted；　and　propping　her　machine　against　a　stone；　sat　down。　〃Here；　we　can　talk；〃　she　said。

〃Yes；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver；　expectant。

She　answered　after　a　little　while；　sitting；　elbow　on　knee；　with　her　chin　in　her　hand；　and　looking　straight　in　front　of　her。　〃I　don't　knowI　am　resolved　to　Live　my　Own　Life。〃

〃Of　course；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　〃Naturally。〃

〃I　want　to　Live；　and　I　want　to　see　what　life　means。　I　want　to　learn。　Everyone　is　hurrying　me；　everything　is　hurrying　me；　I　want　time　to　think。〃

Mr。　Hoopdriver　was　puzzled；　but　admiring。　It　was　wonderful　how　clear　and　ready　her　words　were。　But　then　one　might　speak　well　with　a　throat　and　lips　like　that。　He　knew　he　was　inadequate；　but　he　tried　to　meet　the　occasion。　〃If　you　let　them　rush　you　into　anything　you　might　repent　of；　of　course　you'd　be　very　silly。〃

〃Don't　YOU　want　to　learn？〃　she　asked。

〃I　was　wondering　only　this　morning；〃　he　began；　and　stopped。

She　was　too　intent　upon　her　own　thoughts　to　notice　this　insufficiency。　〃I　find　myself　in　life；　and　it　terrifies　me。　I　seem　to　be　like　a　little　speck；　whirling　on　a　wheel；　suddenly　caught　up。　'What　am　I　here　for？'　I　ask。　Simply　to　be　here　at　a　timeI　asked　it　a　week　ago；　I　asked　it　yesterday；　and　I　ask　it　to…day。　And　little　things　happen　and　the　days　pass。　My　stepmother　takes　me　shopping；　people　come　to　tea；　there　is　a　new　play　to　pass　the　time；　or　a　concert；　or　a　novel。　The　wheels　of　the　world　go　on　turning；　turning。　It　is　horrible。　I　want　to　do　a　miracle　like　Joshua　and　stop　the　whirl　until　I　have　fought　it　out。　At　homeIt's　impossible。〃

Mr。　Hoopdriver　stroked　his　moustache。　〃It　IS　so；〃　he　said　in　a　meditative　tone。　〃Things　WILL　go　on；〃　he　said。　The　faint　breath　of　summer　stirred　the　trees；　and　a　bunch　of　dandelion　puff　lifted　among　the　meadowsweet　and　struck　and　broke　into　a　dozen　separate　threads　against　his　knee。　They　flew　on　apart；　and　sank；　as　the　breeze　fell；　among　the　grass：　some　to　germinate；　some　to　perish。　His　eye　followed　them　until　they　had　vanished。

〃I　can't　go　back　to　Surbiton；〃　said　the　Young　Lady　in　Grey。

〃EIGH？〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver；　catching　at　his　moustache。　This　was　an　unexpected　development。

〃I　want　to　write；　you　see；〃　said　the　Young　Lady　in　Grey；　〃to　write　Books　and　alter　things。　To　do　Good。　I　want　to　lead　a　Free　Life　and　Own　myself。　I　can't　go　back。　I　want　to　obtain　a　position　as　a　journalist。　I　have　been　toldBut　I　know　no　one　to　help　me　at　once。　No　one　that　I　could　go　to。　There　is　one　personShe　was　a　mistress　at　my　school。　If　I　could　write　to　herBut　then；　how　could　I　get　her　answer？〃

〃H'mp；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver；　very　grave。

〃I　can't　trouble　you　much　more。　You　have　comeyou　have　risked　things〃

〃That　don't　count；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　〃It's　double　pay　to　let　me　do　it；　so　to　speak。〃

〃It　is　good　of　you　to　say　that。　Surbiton　is　so　Conventional。　I　am　resolved　to　be　Unconventionalat　any　cost。　But　we　are　so　hampered。　If　I　could　only　burgeon　out　of　all　that　hinders　me！　I　want　to　struggle；　to　take　my　place　in　the　world。　I　want　to　be　my　own　mistress；　to　shape　my　own　career。　But　my　stepmother　objects　so。　She　does　as　she　likes　herself；　and　is　strict　with　me　to　ease　her　conscience。　And　if　I　go　back　now；　go　back　owning　myself　beaten〃　She　left　the　rest　to　his　imagination。

〃I　see　that；〃　agreed　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　He　MUST　help　her。　Within　his　skull　he　was　doing　some　intricate　arithmetic　with　five　pounds　six　and　twopence。　In　some　vague　way　he　inferred　from　all　this　that　Jessie　was　trying　to　escape　from　an　undesirable　marriage；　but　was　saying　these　things　out　of　modesty。　His　circle　of　ideas　was　so　limited。

〃You　know；　Mr。I've　forgotten　your　name　again。〃