the wheels of chance-第24章

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　had　further　given　her　a　volume　of　Emerson's　Essays　and　Motley's　〃Dutch　Republic；〃　to　help　her　through　the　rapids　of　adolescence。

Jessie's　feelings　for　her　stepmother's　household　at　Surbiton　amounted　to　an　active　detestation。　There　are　no　graver　or　more　solemn　women　in　the　world　than　these　clever　girls　whose　scholastic　advancement　has　retarded　their　feminine　coquetry。　In　spite　of　the　advanced　tone　of　'Thomas　Plantagenet's'　antimarital　novel；　Jessie　had　speedily　seen　through　that　amiable　woman's　amiable　defences。　The　variety　of　pose　necessitated　by　the　corps　of　'Men'　annoyed　her　to　an　altogether　unreasonable　degree。　To　return　to　this　life　of　ridiculous　unrealityunconditional　capitulation　to　'Conventionality'　was　an　exasperating　prospect。　Yet　what　else　was　there　to　do？　You　will　understand；　therefore；　that　at　times　she　was　moody　（and　Mr。　Hoopdriver　respectfully　silent　and　attentive）　and　at　times　inclined　to　eloquent　denunciation　of　the　existing　order　of　things。　She　was　a　Socialist；　Hoopdriver　learnt；　and　he　gave　a　vague　intimation　that　he　went　further；　intending；　thereby；　no　less　than　the　horrors　of　anarchism。　He　would　have　owned　up　to　the　destruction　of　the　Winter　Palace　indeed；　had　he　had　the　faintest　idea　where　the　Winter　Palace　was；　and　had　his　assurance　amounted　to　certainty　that　the　Winter　Palace　was　destroyed。　He　agreed　with　her　cordially　that　the　position　of　women　was　intolerable；　but　checked　himself　on　the'　verge　of　the　proposition　that　a　girl　ought　not　to　expect　a　fellow　to　hand　down　boxes　for　her　when　he　was　getting　the　'swap'　from　a　customer。　It　was　Jessie's　preoccupation　with　her　own　perplexities；　no　doubt；　that　delayed　the　unveiling　of　Mr。　Hoopdriver　all　through　Saturday　and　Sunday。　Once　or　twice；　however；　there　were　incidents　that　put　him　about　terriblyeven　questions　that　savoured　of　suspicion。

On　Sunday　night；　for　no　conceivable　reason；　an　unwonted　wakefulness　came　upon　him。　Unaccountably　he　realised　he　was　a　contemptible　liar；　All　through　the　small　hours　of　Monday　he　reviewed　the　tale　of　his　falsehoods；　and　when　he　tried　to　turn　his　mind　from　that；　the　financial　problem　suddenly　rose　upon　him。　He　heard　two　o'clock　strike；　and　three。　It　is　odd　how　unhappy　some　of　us　are　at　times；　when　we　are　at　our　happiest。



XXXIV

〃Good　morning；　Madam；〃　said　Hoopdriver；　as　Jessie　came　into　the　breakfast　room　of　the　Golden　Pheasant　on　Monday　morning；　and　he　smiled；　bowed；　rubbed　his　hands　together；　and　pulled　out　a　chair　for　her；　and　rubbed　his　hands　again。

She　stopped　abruptly；　with　a　puzzled　expression　on　her　face。　〃Where　HAVE　I　seen　that　before？〃　she　said。

〃The　chair？〃　said　Hoopdriver；　flushing。

〃Nothe　attitude。〃

She　came　forward　and　shook　hands　with　him；　looking　the　while　curiously　into　his　face。　〃AndMadam？〃

〃It's　a　habit；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver；　guiltily。　〃A　bad　habit。　Calling　ladies　Madam。　You　must　put　it　down　to　our　colonial　roughness。　Out　there　up　countryy'knowthe　ladiesso　rarewe　call　'em　all　Madam。〃　

〃You　HAVE　some　funny　habits；　brother　Chris；〃　said　Jessie。　〃Before　you　sell　your　diamond　shares　and　go　into　society；　as　you　say；　and　stand　for　ParliamentWhat　a　fine　thing　it　is　to　be　a　man！you　must　cure　yourself。　That　habit　of　bowing　as　you　do；　and　rubbing　your　hands；　and　looking　expectant。〃

〃It's　a　habit。〃

〃I　know。　But　I　don't　think　it　a　good　one。　You　don't　mind　my　telling　you？〃

〃Not　a　bit。　I'm　grateful。〃

〃I'm　blessed　or　afflicted　with　a　trick　of　observation；〃　said　Jessie；　looking　at　the　breakfast　table。　Mr。　Hoopdriver　put　his　hand　to　his　moustache　and　then；　thinking　this　might　be　another　habit；　checked　his　arm　and　stuck　his　hand　into　his　pocket。　He　felt　juiced　awkward；　to　use　his　private　formula。　Jessie's　eye　wandered　to　the　armchair；　where　a　piece　of　binding　was　loose；　and；　possibly　to　carry　out　her　theory　of　an　observant　disposition；　she　turned　and　asked　him　for　a　pin。

Mr。　Hoopdriver's　hand　fluttered　instinctively　to　his　lappel；　and　there；　planted　by　habit；　were　a　couple　of　stray　pins　he　had　impounded。

〃What　an　odd　place　to　put　pins！〃　exclaimed　Jessie；　taking　it。

〃It's　'andy；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　〃I　saw　a　chap　in　a　shop　do　it　once。〃

〃You　must　have　a　careful　disposition；〃　she　said；　over　her　shoulder；　kneeling　down　to　the　chair。

〃In　the　centre　of　Africaup　country；　that　isone　learns　to　value　pins；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver；　after　a　perceptible　pause。　〃There　weren't　over　many　pins　in　Africa。　They　don't　lie　about　on　the　ground　there。〃　His　face　was　now　in　a　fine；　red　glow。　Where　would　the　draper　break　out　next？　He　thrust　his　hands　into　his　coat　pockets；　then　took　one　out　again；　furtively　removed　the　second　pin　and　dropped　it　behind　him　gently。　It　fell　with　a　loud　'ping'　on　the　fender。　Happily　she　made　no　remark；　being　preoccupied　with　the　binding　of　the　chair。

Mr。　Hoopdriver；　instead　of　sitting　down；　went　up　to　the　table　and　stood　against　it；　with　his　finger…tips　upon　the　cloth。　They　were　keeping　breakfast　a　tremendous　time。　He　took　up　his　rolled　serviette　looked　closely　and　scrutinisingly　at　the　ring；　then　put　his　hand　under　the　fold　of　the　napkin　and　examined　the　texture；　and　put　the　thing　down　again。　Then　he　had　a　vague　impulse　to　finger　his　hollow　wisdom　toothhappily　checked。　He　suddenly　discovered　he　was　standing　as　if　the　table　was　a　counter；　and　sat　down　forthwith。　He　drummed　with　his　hand　on　the　table。　He　felt　dreadfully　hot　and　self…conscious。

〃Breakfast　is　late；〃　said　Jessie；　standing　up。　

〃Isn't　it？〃

Conversation　was　slack。　Jessie　wanted　to　know　the　distance　to　Ringwood。　Then　silence　fell　again。　

Mr。　Hoopdriver；　very　uncomfortable　and　studying　an　easy　bearing；　looked　again　at　the　breakfast　things　and　then　idly　lifted　the　corner　of　the　tablecloth　on　the　ends　of　his　fingers；　and　regarded　it。　〃Fifteen　three；〃　he　thought；　privately。

〃Why　do　you　do　that？〃　said　Jessie。

〃WHAT？〃　said　Hoopdriver；　dropping　the　tablecloth　convulsively。

〃Look　at　the　cloth　like　that。　I　saw　you　do　it　yesterday；　too。〃

Mr。　Hoopdriver's　face　became　quite　a　bright　red。　He　began　pulling　his　moustache　nervously。　〃I　know；〃　he　said。　〃I　know。　It's　a　queer　habit；　I　know。　But　out　there；　you　know；　there's　native　servants；　you　know；　andit's　a　queer　thing　to　talk　aboutbut　one　has　to　look　at　things　to　see；　don't　y'know；　whether　they're　quite　clean　or　not。　It's　got　to　be　a　habit。〃

〃How　odd！〃　said　Jessie。

〃Isn't　it？〃　mumbled　Hoopdriver。

〃If　I　were　a　Sherlock　Holmes；〃　said　Jessie；　〃I　suppose　I　could　have　told　you　were　a　colonial　from　little　things　like　that。　But　anyhow；　I　guessed　it；　didn't　I？〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Hoopdriver；　in　a　melancholy　tone；　〃you　guessed　it。〃　

Why　not　seize　the　opportunity　for　a　neat　confession；　and　add；　〃unhappily　in　this　case　you　guessed　wrong。〃　Did　she　suspect？　Then；　at　the　psychological　moment；　the　girl　bumped　the　door　open　with　her　tray　and　brought　in　the　coffee　and　scrambled　eggs。

〃I　am　rather　lucky　with　my　intuitions；　sometimes；〃　said　Jessie。

Remorse　that　had　been　accumulating　in　his　mind　for　two　days　surged　to　the　top　of　his　mind。　What　a　shabby　liar　he　was！

And；　besides；　he　must　sooner　or　later；　inevitably；　give　himself　away。　



XXXV

Mr。　Hoopdriver　helped　the　eggs　and　then；　instead　of　beginning；　sat　with　his　cheek　on　his　hand；　watching　Jessie　pour　out　the　coffee。　His　ears　were　a　bright　red；　and　his　eyes　bright。　He　took　his　coffee　cup　clumsily；　cleared　his　throat；　suddenly　leant　back　in　his　chair；　and　thrust　his　hands　deep　into　his　pockets。　〃I'll　do　it；〃　he　said　aloud。

〃Do　what？〃　said　Jessie；　looking　up　in　surprise　over　the　coffee　pot。　She　was　just　beginning　her　scrambled　egg。

〃Own　up。〃

〃Own　what？〃

〃Miss　Milton　I'm　a　liar。〃　He　put　his　head　on　one　side　and　regarded　her　with　a　frown　of　tremendous　resolution。　Then　in　measured　accents；　and　moving　his　head　slowly　from　side　to　side；　he　announced；　〃Ay'm　a　deraper。〃

〃You're　a　draper？　I　thought〃

〃You　thought　wrong。　But　it's　bound　to　come　up。　Pins；　attitude；　habitsIt's　plain　enough。

〃I'm　a　draper's　assistant　let　out　for　a　ten…days　holiday。　Jest　a　draper's　assistant。　Not　much；　is　it？　A　counter…jumper。〃

〃A　draper's　assistant　isn't　a　position　to　be　ashamed　of；〃　she　said；　recovering；　and　not　quite　understanding　yet　what　this　all　meant。

〃Yes；　it　is；〃　he　said；　〃for　a　man；　in　this　country　now。　To　be　just　another　man's　hand；　as　I　am。　To　have　to　wear　what　clothes　you　are　told；　and　go　to　church　to　please　customers；　and　workThere's　no　other　kind　of　men　stand　such　hours。　A　drunken　bricklayer's　a　king　to　it。〃

〃But　why　are　you　telling　me　this　now？〃

〃It's　important　you　should　know　at　once。〃

〃But；　Mr。　Benson〃

〃That　isn't　all。　If　you　don't　mind　my　speaking　about　myself　a　bit；　there's　a　few　things　I'd　like　to　tell　you。　I　can't　go　on　deceiving　you。　My　name's　not　Benson。　WHY　I　told　you　Benson；　I　DON'T　know。　Except　that　I'm　a　kind　of　fool。　WellI　wanted　somehow　to　seem　more　than　I　was。　My　name's　Hoopdriver。〃

〃Yes？〃

〃And　that　about　South　Africaand　that　lion。〃

〃Well？〃

〃Lies。〃

〃Lies！〃

And　the　discovery　of　diamonds　on　the　ostrich　farm。　Lies　too。　And　all　the　reminiscences　of　the　giraffeslies　too。　I　never　rode　on　no　giraffes。　I'd　be　afraid。〃

He　looked　at　her　with　a　kind　of　sullen　satisfaction。　He　had　eased　his　conscience；　anyhow。　She　regarded　him　in　infinite　perplexity。　This　was　a　new　side　altogether　to　the　man。　〃But　WHY；〃　she　began。　

〃Why　did　I　tell　you　such　things？　_I_　don't　know。　Silly　sort　of　chap；　I　expect。　I　suppose　I　wanted　to　impress　you。　But　somehow；　now；　I　want　you　to　know　the　truth。〃

Silence。　Breakfast　untouched。　〃I　thought　I'd　tell　you；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　〃I　suppose　it's　snobbishness　and　all　that　kind　of　thing；　as　much　as　anything。　I　lay　awake　pretty　near　all　last　night　thinking　about　myself；　thinking　what　a　got…up　imitation　of　a　man　I　was；　and　all　that。〃

〃And　you　haven't　any　diamond　shares；　and　you　are　not　going　into　Parliament；　and　you're　not〃

〃All　Lies；〃　said　Hoopdriver；　in　a　sepulchral　voice。　〃Lies　from　beginning　to　end。　'Ow　I　came　to　tell　'em　I　DON'T　know。〃

She　stared　at　him　blankly。　

〃I　never　set　eyes　on　Africa　in　my　life；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver；　completing　the　confession。　Then　he　pulled　his　right　hand　from　his　pocket；　and　with　the　nonchalance　of　one　to　whom　the　bitterness　of　death　is　passed；　began　to　drink　his　coffee。

〃It's　a　little　surprising；〃　began　Jessie；　vaguely。

〃Think　it　over；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　〃I'm　sorry　from　the　bottom　of　my　heart。〃

And　then　breakfast　proceeded　in　silence。　Jessie　ate　very　little；　and　seemed　lost　in　thought。　Mr。　Hoopdriver　was　so　overcome　by　contrition　and　anxiety　that　he　consumed　an　extraordinarily　large　breakfast　out　of　pure　nervousness；　and　ate　his　scrambled　eggs　for　the　most　part　with　the　spoon　that　belonged　properly　to　the　marmalade。　His　eyes　were　gloomily　downcast。　She　glanced　at　him　through　her　eyelashes。　Once　or　twice　she　struggled　with　laughter；　once　or　twice　she　seemed　to　be　indignant。

〃I　don't　know　what　to　think；〃　she　said　at　last。　〃I　don't　know　what　to　make　of　youbrother　Chris。　I　thought；　do　you　know？　that　you　were　perfectly　honest。　And　somehow〃

〃Well？〃

〃I　think　so　still。〃

〃Honestwith　all　those　lies！〃

〃I　wonder。〃

〃I　don't；〃　said　Mr。　Hoopdriver。　〃I'm　fair　ashamed　of　myself。　But　anyhowI've　stopped　deceiving　you。〃

〃I　THOUGHT；〃　said　the　Young　Lady　in　Grey；　〃that　story　of　the　lio