hemingway, ernest - garden of eden-第13章

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98　99

〃Don't　be　so　violent。　She's　a　nice　girl　and　I　like　her。　I　know　it　was　unforgivable　to　bring　her　up　without　speaking　to　you　and　I'm　sorry。　But　I　did　it　and　it's　done。　I　thought　you'd　like　to　have　someone　pleasant　and　attractive　for　me　to　have　as　a　friend　to　go　around　with　while　you're　working。〃

〃I　do　if　you　want　someone。

〃I　didn't　want　someone。　I　just　ran　into　someone　that　I　liked　and　thought　you　would　like　and　it　would　be　pleasant　for　her　to　be　here　for　a　little　while。〃

〃But　who　is　she？〃

〃I　haven't　examined　her　papers。　You　interrogate　her　if　you　need　to。〃

〃Well；　she's　decorative　at　least。　But　whose　girl　is　she？〃

〃Don't　be　rough。　She's　nobody's。〃

〃Tell　me　straight。〃

〃All　right。　She's　in　love　with　us　both　unless　I'm　crazy。

〃You're　not　crazy。

〃Not　yet　maybe。〃

〃So　what's　the　drill？〃

〃I　wouldn't　know；〃　Catherine　said。

〃I　wouldn't　either。〃

〃It's　sort　of　strange　and　fun。〃

〃I　wouldn't　know；〃　David　said。　〃Do　you　want　to　go　to　swim？　We　missed　it　yesterday。〃

〃Let's　swim。　Should　we　ask　her？　It　would　only　be　polite。〃

'We'd　have　to　wear　suits。〃

〃It　wouldn't　matter　with　this　wind。　It's　no　day　to　be　on　the　sand　to　tan。〃

〃I　hate　to　wear　suits　with　you。〃

〃Me　too。　But　maybe　tomorrow　the　wind　will　be　over。〃

Then　on　the　Esterel　road　with　David　driving　the　big　old　Isotta；　feeling　and　condemning　the　too　sudden　brakes　and　finding　how　badly　the　motor　needed　to　be　worked　over；　the　three　of　them　sat
together　and　Catherine　said；　〃There　are　two　or　three　different　coves　where　we　swim　without　suits　when　we're　alone。　That's　the　only　way　to　get　really　dark。〃
〃It's　not　a　good　day　to　tan；〃　David　said。　〃It's　too　windy。〃
〃We　can　swim　though　without　suits　if　you　like；〃　Catherine　said　to　the　girl。　〃If　David　doesn't　mind。　It　might　be　fun。〃
〃I'd　love　to；〃　the　girl　said。　〃Do　you　mind？〃　she　asked　David。


In　the　evening　David　made　martinis　and　the　girl　said；　〃Is　everything　always　as　wonderful　as　it　has　been　today？〃
〃It's　been　a　pleasant　day；〃　David　said。　Catherine　had　not　yet　come　out　from　their　room　and　he　and　the　girl　were　sitting　in　front　of　the　small　bar　M。　Aurol　had　installed　the　previous　winter　in　the　corner　of　the　big　Provencal　room。
'When　I　drink　I　want　to　say　things　I　should　never　say；〃　the　girl　said。
〃Then　don't　say　them。〃　〃Then　what's　the　use　of　drinking？〃　〃It　isn't　these。　You've　only　had　one。〃　〃Were　you　embarrassed　when　we　swam？〃
〃No。　Should　I　have　been？〃　〃No；〃　she　said。　〃I　loved　to　see　you。
〃That's　good；〃　he　said。　〃How's　the　martini？〃
〃It's　very　strong　but　I　like　it。　Did　you　and　Catherine　never　swim　before　like　that　with　anyone？〃
〃No。　Why　should　we？〃
〃I'll　get　really　brown。〃
〃I'm　sure　you　will。〃
'Would　you　rather　I　was　not　so　deeply　brown？〃
〃You're　a　nice　color。　Get　that　color　all　over　if　you　like。〃
〃I　thought　perhaps　you'd　like　one　of　your　girls　lighter　than　the　other。〃


〃You're　not　my　girl。〃
〃I　am；〃　she　said。　〃I　told　you　before。〃
〃You　don't　blush　anymore。
〃I　got　over　it　when　we　went　bathing。　I　hope　I　won't　now　for　a　long　time。　That's　why　I　said　everything&mdash；to　get　over　it。　That's　why　I　told　you。〃
〃You　look　nice　in　that　cashmere　sweater；〃　David　said。　〃Catherine　said　we'd　both　wear　them。　You　don't　dislike　me　because　I　told　you？〃
〃I　forget　what　you　told　me。
〃That　I　love　you。
〃Don't　talk　rot。〃
〃Don't　you　believe　it　happens　to　people　like　that？　The　way　it　happened　to　me　about　you　two？〃
〃You　don't　fall　in　love　with　two　people　at　once。
〃You　don't　know；〃　she　said。
〃It's　rot；〃　he　said。　〃It's　just　a　way　of　talking。〃
〃It　isn't　at　all。　It's　true。〃
〃You　just　think　it　is。　It's　nonsense。〃
〃All　right；〃　she　said。　〃It's　nonsense。　But　I'm　here。〃
〃Yes。　You're　here；〃　he　said。　He　was　watching　Catherine　as　she　crossed　the　room；　smiling　and　happy。
〃1…lello　swimmers；〃　she　said。　〃Oh　what　a　shame。　I　didn't　get　to　see　Marita　have　her　first　martini。〃
〃This　is　still　it；〃　the　girl　said。
〃How　did　it　affect　her；　David？〃
〃Made　her　talk　rot。〃
〃We'll　start　with　a　fresh　one。　Weren't　you　good　to　resuscitate　this　bar。　It's　such　a　sort　of　tentative　bar。　We'll　get　a　mirror　for　it。　A　bar's　no　good　without　a　mirror。〃
〃We　can　get　one　tomorrow；〃　the　girl　said。　〃I'd　like　to　get　it。
〃Don't　be　rich；〃　Catherine　said。　〃We'll　both　get　it　and　then
we　can　all　see　each　other　when　we　talk　rot　and　know　how　rotty　it　is。　You　can't　fool　a　bar　mirror。〃
〃It's　when　I　start　looking　quizzical　in　one　that　I　know　I've　lost；〃　David　said。
〃You　never　lose。　How　can　you　lose　with　two　girls？〃　Catherine　said。
〃I　tried　to　tell　him；〃　the　girl　said　and　blushed　for　the　first　time　that　evening。
〃She's　your　girl　and　I'm　your　girl；〃　Catherine　said。　〃Now　stop　being　stuffy　and　be　nice　to　your　girls。　Don't　you　like　the　way　they　look？　I'm　the　very　fair　one　you　married。〃
〃You're　darker　and　fairer　than　the　one　I　married。〃
〃So　are　you　and　I　brought　you　a　dark　girl　for　a　present。　Don't　you　like　your　present？〃
〃I　like　my　present　very　much。〃
〃How　do　you　like　your　future？〃
〃I　don't　know　about　my　future。
〃It　isn't　a　dark　future　is　it？〃　the　girl　asked。
〃Very　good；〃　Catherine　said。　〃She's　not　only　beautiful　and　rich　and　healthy　and　affectionate。　She　can　make　jokes。　Aren't　you　pleased　with　what　I　brought　you？〃
〃I'd　rather　be　a　dark　present　than　a　dark　future；〃　the　girl　said。　〃She　did　it　again；〃　Catherine　said。　〃Give　her　a　kiss　David　and　make　her　a　fair　present。〃
David　put　his　arm　around　the　girl　and　kissed　her　and　she　started　to　kiss　him　and　turned　her　head　away。　Then　she　was　crying　with　her　head　down　and　both　hands　holding　the　bar。
〃Make　a　good　joke　now；〃　David　said　to　Catherine。　〃I'm　all　right；〃　the　girl　said。　〃Don't　look　at　me。　I'm　all　right。〃　Catherine　put　her　arm　around　her　and　kissed　her　and　stroked　her　head。
〃I'll　be　all　right；〃　the　girl　said。　〃Please；　I　know　I'll　be　all　right。〃

〃I'm　so　sorry；〃　Catherine　said。
〃Let　me　go　please；〃　the　girl　said。　〃I　have　to　go。　〃Well；〃　David　said　when　the　girl　was　gone　and　Catherine　had　come　back　to　the　bar。
〃You　don't　need　to　say　it；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I'm　sorry　David。〃
〃She'll　be　back。〃
〃You　don't　think　it's　all　a　fake　now　do　you？〃
〃They　were　real　tears　if　that's　what　you　mean。
〃Don't　be　stupid。　You　aren't　stupid。〃
〃I　kissed　her　very　carefully。〃
〃Yes。　On　the　mouth。〃
〃Where　did　you　expect　me　to　kiss　her？〃
〃You　were　all　right。　I　haven't　criticized　you。〃
〃I'm　glad　you　didn't　ask　me　to　kiss　her　when　we　were　at　the　beach。〃
〃I　thought　of　it；〃　Catherine　said。　She　laughed　and　it　was　like　the　old　days　before　anyone　had　mixed　in　their　life。　〃Did　you　think　I　was　going　to？〃
〃I　thought　you　were　so　I　dove　in。〃
〃Good　thing　you　did。〃
They　laughed　again。
〃Well；　we've　cheered　up；〃　Catherine　said。
〃Thank　God；〃　David　said。　〃I　love　you；　Devil；　and　really　I　didn't　kiss　her　to　make　all　that。〃
〃You　don't　have　to　tell　me；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I　saw　you。　It　was　a　miserable　effort。〃
〃I　wish　she'd　go　away。〃
〃Don't　be　heartless；〃　Catherine　said。　〃And　I　did　encourage　her。〃
〃I　tried　not
〃I　egged　her　on　about　you。　I'll　go　out　and　find　her。〃
〃No。　Wait　a　little　while。　She's　too　sure　of　herself。〃
〃How　can　you　say　that；　David？　You　just　broke　her　all　up。

〃I　did　not。〃

'Well　something　did。　I'm　going　to　go　and　get　her。〃

But　it　wasn't　necessary　because　the　girl　came　back　to　the　bar　where　they　were　standing　and　blushed　and　said；　〃I'm　sorry。〃　Her　face　was　washed　and　she　had　brushed　her　hair　and　she　came　up　to　David　and　kissed　him　on　the　mouth　very　quickly　and　said；　〃I　like　my　present。　Did　someone　take　my　drink？〃

〃I　threw　it　out；〃　Catherine　said。　〃David　will　make　a　new　one。

〃I　hope　you　still　like　having　two　girls；〃　she　said。　〃Because　I　am　yours　and　I'm　going　to　be　Catherine's　too。〃

〃I　don't　go　in　for　girls；〃　Catherine　said。　It　was　very　quiet　and　her　voice　did　not　sound　right　either　to　herself　or　to　David。

〃Don't　you　ever？〃

〃I　never　have。〃

〃I　can　be　your　girl；　if　you　ever　want　one；　and　David's　too。〃

〃Don't　you　think　that's　sort　of　a　vast　undertaking？〃　Catherine　asked。

〃That's　why　I　came　here；〃　the　girl　said。　〃I　thought　that　was　what　you　wanted。〃

〃I've　never　had　a　girl；〃　Catherine　said。

〃I'm　so　stupid；〃　the　girl　said。　〃I　didn't　know。　Is　it　true？　You're　not　making　fun　of　me？〃

〃I'm　not　making　fun　of　you。〃

〃I　don't　know　how　I　could　be　so　stupid；〃　the　girl　said。　She　means　mistaken　David　thought　and　Catherine　thought　it　too。


That　night　in　bed　Catherine　said；　〃I　never　should　have　let　you　in　for　any　of　it。　Not　for　any　part　of　it。〃

〃I　wish　we'd　never　seen　her。〃

〃It　might　have　been　something　worse。　Maybe　to　go　through　with　it　and　get　rid　of　it　that　way　is　best。〃

〃You　could　send　her　away。

〃I　don't　think　that's　the　way　to　clear　it　now。　Doesn't　she　do　anything　to　you？〃
〃Oh　sure。〃
〃I　knew　she　did。　But　I　love　you　and　all　this　is　nothing。　You　know　it　is　too。〃
〃I　don't　know　about　it；　Devil。〃
'Well　we　won't　be　solemn。　I　can　already　tell　it's　death　if　you're　solemn。〃
Chapter　Twelve

IT　WAS　THE　THIRD　DAY　of　the　wind　but　it　was　not　as　heavy　now　and　he　sat　at　the　table　and　read　the　story　over　from　the　start　to　where　he　had　left　off；　correcting　as　he　read。　He　went　on　with　the　story；　living　in　it　and　nowhere　else；　and　when　he　heard　the　voices　of　the　two　girls　outside　he　did　not　listen。　When　they　went　by　the　window　he　lifted　his　hand　and　waved。　They　waved　and　the　dark　girl　smiled　and　Catherine　put　her　fingers　to　her　lips。　The　girl　looked　very　pretty　in　the　morning；　her　face　shining　and　her　color　high。　Catherine　was　beautiful　as　always。　He　heard　the　car　start　and　noted　it　was　the　Bugatti。　He　went　back　into　the　story。　It　was　a　good　story　and　he　finished　it　shortly　before　noon。

It　was　too　late　to　have　breakfast　and　he　was　tired　after　working　and　did　not　want　to　drive　the　old　Isotta　into　town　with　its　bad　brakes　and　huge　malfunctioning　motor　although　the　key　was　with　a　note　Catherine　had　left　saying　they　had　gone　to　Nice　and　would　look　in　at　the　cafe　for　him　on　their　way　home。

What　I　would　like；　he　thought；　is　a　tall　cold　liter　of　beer　in　a　thick　heavy　glass　and　a　pomme　l'huile　with　coarse　ground




peppercorns　on　it。　But　the　beer　on　this　coast　was　worthless　and　he　thought　happily　of　Paris　and　other　places　he　had　been　and　was　pleased　he　had　written　something　he　knew　was　good　and　that　he　had　finished　it。　This　was　the　first　writing　he　had　finished　since　they　were　married。　Finishing　is　what　you　have　to　do；　he　thought。　If　you　don't　finish；　nothing　is　worth　a　damn。　Tomorrow　I'll　pick　up　the　narrative　where　I　left　it　and　keep　right　on　until　I　finish　it。　And　how　are　you　going　to　finish　it？　How　are　you　going　to　finish　it　now？

As　soon　as　he　started　to　think　beyond　his　work；　everything　that　he　had　locked　out　by　the　work　came　back　to　him。　He　thought　of　the　night　before　and　of　Catherine　and　the　girl　today　on　the　road　that　he　and　Catherine　had　driven　two　days　before　and　he　felt　sick。　They　should　be　on　the　way　back　now。　It's　after　noon。　Maybe　they're　at　the　cafe。　Don't　be　solemn；　she　had　said。　But　she　meant　something　else　too。　Maybe　she　knows　what　she's　doing。　Maybe　she　knows　how　it　can　turn　out。　Maybe　she　does　know。　You　don't。

So　you　worked　and　now　you　worry。　You'd　better　write　another　story。　Write　the　hardest　one　there　is　to　write　that　you　know。　Go　ahead　and　do　that。　You　have　to　last　yourself　if　you're　to　be　any　good　to　her。　What　good　have　you　been　to　her？　Plenty；　he　s