hemingway, ernest - garden of eden-第15章

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〃The　hell　with　both　of　you；〃　David　said。　〃With　me；　yes。　But　not　with　her。　You　mustn't；　David。〃　〃Don't　tell　me　what　I　must　and　what　I　mustn't。〃　〃Don't　you　want　to　take　care　of　her？〃
〃Not　particularly。〃
〃I　do。〃
〃You　certainly　have。〃
〃Don't　be　a　fool；〃　she　said。　〃You're　not　a　fool。　I　tell　you　this　is　serious。〃
〃Where　is　she？〃
〃In　there　waiting　for　you。
David　went　in　the　door。　Catherine　was　sitting　at　the　empty　bar。
〃Hello；〃　she　said。　〃They　didn't　bring　the　mirror。　〃Hello；　Devil；〃　he　said。　〃I'm　sorry　I　was　late。〃　He　was　shocked　at　the　dead　way　she　looked　and　at　her　toneless　voice。
〃I　thought　you'd　gone　away；〃　she　said。
〃Didn't　you　see　I　hadn't　taken　anything？〃
〃I　didn't　look。　You　wouldn't　need　to　take　anything　to　go　away。
〃No；〃　David　said。　〃I　just　went　into　town。
〃Oh；〃　she　said　and　looked　at　the　wall。
〃The　wind's　dropping；〃　he　said。　〃It　will　be　a　good　day　tomorrow。
〃I　don't　care　about　tomorrow。
〃Sure　you　do。〃
〃No　I　don't。　Don't　ask　me　to。〃
〃I　won't　ask　you　to；〃　he　said。　〃Have　you　had　a　drink？〃

〃I'll　make　one。〃
〃It　won't　do　any　good。〃
〃It　might。　We're　still　us。〃　He　was　making　the　drink　and　she　watched　him　mechanically　as　he　stirred　and　then　poured　into　the　glasses。
〃Put　in　the　garlic　olive；〃　she　said。
He　handed　her　one　of　the　glasses　and　lifted　his　and　touched　it　against　hers。　〃Here　s　to　us。
She　poured　her　glass　out　on　the　bar　and　looked　at　it　flow　along　the　wood。　Then　she　picked　up　the　olive　and　put　it　in　her　mouth。　〃There　isn't　any　us；〃　she　said。　〃Not　anymore。
David　took　a　handkerchief　out　of　his　pocket　and　wiped　the　bar　and　made　another　drink。
〃It's　all　shit；〃　Catherine　said。　David　handed　her　the　drink　and　she　looked　at　it　and　then　poured　it　on　the　bar。　David　mopped　it　up　again　and　wrung　out　his　handkerchief。　Then　he　drank　his　own　martini　and　made　two　more。


〃This　one　you　drink；〃　he　said。　〃Just　drink　it。〃
〃Just　drink；〃　she　said。　She　lifted　the　glass　and　said；　〃Here's　to　you　and　your　god　damned　handkerchief。〃
She　drank　the　glass　off　and　then　held　it；　looking　at　it；　and　David　was　sure　that　she　was　going　to　throw　it　in　his　face。　Then　she　put　it　down　and　picked　the　garlic　olive　out　of　it　and　ate　it　very　carefully　and　handed　David　the　pit。
〃Semi…precious　stone；〃　she　said。　〃Put　it　in　your　pocket。　I'll　have　another　one　if　you'll　make　it。
〃But　drink　this　one　slowly。〃
〃Oh　I'm　quite　all　right　now；〃　Catherine　said。　〃You　probably　won't　notice　the　difference。　I'm　sure　it　happens　to　everybody。〃
〃Do　you　feel　better？〃
〃Much　better　really。　You　just　lose　something　and　it's　gone　that's　all。　All　we　lose　was　all　that　we　had。　But　we　get　some　more。　There's　no　problem　is　there？〃
〃Are　you　hungry？〃
〃No。　But　I'm　sure　everything　will　be　all　right。　You　said　it　would　didn't　you？〃
〃Of　course　it　will。〃
〃I　wish　I　could　remember　what　it　was　we　lost。　But　it　doesn't　matter　does　it？　You　said　it　didn't　matter。〃
〃No。〃
〃Then　let's　be　cheerful。　It's　just　gone　whatever　it　was。〃
〃It　must　have　been　something　we　forgot；〃　he　said。　〃We'll　find
it。

〃I　did　something　I　know。　But　it's　gone　now。
〃That's　good。〃
〃It　wasn't　anyone　else's　fault　whatever　it　was。〃
〃Don't　talk　about　faults。〃
〃I　know　what　it　was　now；〃　she　smiled。　〃But　I　wasn't　unfaithful。　Really　David。　How　could　I　be？　I　couldn't　be。　You　know　that。　How　could　you　say　I　was？　Why　did　you　say　it？〃
〃You　weren't〃

〃Of　course　I　wasn't。　I　wish　you　hadn't　said　it　though。〃
〃I　didn't　say　it；　Devil。〃
〃Somebody　did。　But　I　wasn't。　I　just　did　what　I　said　I'd　do。　Where's　Marita？〃
〃She's　in　her　room　I　think。〃
〃I'm　glad　I'm　all　right　again。　Once　you　took　it　back　I　was　all　right。　I　wish　it　was　you　had　done　it　so　I　could　take　it　back　about　you。　We're　us　again　aren't　we？　I　didn't　kill　it。〃


She　smiled　again。　〃That's　good。　I'll　go　and　get　her。　Do　you　mind？　She　was　worried　about　me。　Before　you　came　back。〃
〃She　was？〃
〃I　talked　a　lot；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I　always　talk　too　much。　She's　awfully　nice；　David；　if　you　knew　her。　She　was　very　good　to　me。〃
〃The　hell　with　her。〃
〃No。　You　took　all　that　back。　Remember？　I　don't　want　to　have　all　that　again。　Do　you？　It's　too　confusing。　Truly。〃
〃All　right　bring　her。　She'll　be　glad　to　see　you're　feeling　good　again。〃

〃I　know　she　will　and　you　must　make　her　feel　good　too。〃
〃Sure。　Does　she　feel　badly？〃
〃Only　when　I　did。　When　I　knew　I　was　unfaithful。　I　never　was　before　you　know。　You　go　and　bring　her；　David。　Then　she　won't　feel　bad。　No　don't　bother；　I'll　go。〃
Catherine　went　out　the　door　and　David　watched　her　go。　Her　movements　were　less　mechanical　and　her　voice　was　better。　When　she　came　back　she　was　smiling　and　her　voice　was　almost　natural。
〃She's　coming　in　just　a　minute；〃　she　said。　〃She's　lovely；　David。　I'm　so　glad　you　brought　her。〃
The　girl　came　in　and　David　said；　〃We　were　waiting　for　you。〃　She　looked　at　him　and　looked　away。　Then　she　looked　back　at　him　and　held　herself　very　straight　and　said；　〃I'm　sorry　to　be　late。〃


〃You　look　very　handsome；〃　David　said　and　it　was　quite　true　but　she　had　the　saddest　eyes　he　had　ever　seen。
〃Make　her　a　drink　please；　David。　I　had　two；〃　Catherine　said　to　the　girl。
〃I'm　glad　you　feel　better；〃　the　girl　said。
〃David　made　me　feel　good　again；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I　told　him　all　about　everything　and　how　lovely　it　was　and　he　understands　perfectly。　He　really　approves。
The　girl　looked　at　David　and　he　saw　the　way　her　teeth　bit　her　upper　lip　and　what　she　said　to　him　with　her　eyes。　〃It　was　dull　in　town。　I　missed　the　swimming；〃　he　said。
〃You　don't　know　what　you　missed；〃　Catherine　said。　〃You　missed　everything。　It　was　what　I　wanted　to　do　all　my　life　and　now　I've　done　it　and　I　loved　it。〃
The　girl　was　looking　down　at　her　glass。
〃The　most　wonderful　thing　is　that　I　feel　so　grown　up　now。　But　it's　exhausting。　Of　course　it's　what　I　wanted　and　now　I've　done　it　and　I　know　I'm　just　an　apprentice　but　I　won't　always　be。〃
〃Apprentice　allowance　claimed；〃　David　said　and　took　a　chance　then　and　said　very　cheerfully；　〃Don't　you　ever　talk　on　any　other　subjects？　Perversion's　dull　and　old　fashioned。　I　didn't　know　people　like　us　even　kept　up　on　it。
〃I　suppose　it's　only　really　interesting　the　first　time　one　does　it；〃　Catherine　said。
〃And　then　only　to　the　person　who　does　it　and　a　bloody　bore　to　everyone　else；〃　David　said。　〃Do　you　agree；　Heiress？〃
〃Do　you　call　her　Heiress？〃　Catherine　asked。　〃That's　a　nice　funny　name。〃
〃I　can't　very　well　call　her　Ma'am　or　Highness；〃　David　said。　〃Do　you　agree；　Heiress？　About　perversion？〃
〃I　always　thought　it　was　overrated　and　silly；〃　she　said。　〃It's　only　something　girls　do　because　they　have　nothing　better。〃
〃But　one's　first　time　at　anything　is　interesting；〃　Catherine　said。

〃Yes；〃　David　said。　〃But　would　you　want　to　always　talk　about　your　first　ride　at　Steeplechase　Park　or　how　you；　yourself；　person　ally　soloed　alone　all　by　yourself　in　a　plane　absolutely　away　from　the　earth　and　up　in　the　sky？〃

〃I'm　ashamed；〃　Catherine　said。　〃Look　at　me　and　see　if　I'm　not　ashamed。〃

David　put　his　arm　around　her。

〃Don't　be　ashamed；〃　he　said。　〃Just　remember　how　you'd　like　to　hear　old　Heiress　here　recall　how　she　went　up　in　that　plane；　just　herself　and　the　plane；　and　there　was　nothing　between　her　and　the　earth；　imagine　the　Earth；　with　a　big　E；　but　just　her　plane　and　they　might　have　been　killed　and　smashed　to　horrible　bits　both　of　them　and　she　lose　her　money　and　her　health　and　her　sanity　and　her　life　with　a　capital　L　and　her　loved　ones　or　me　or　you　or　Jesus；　all　with　capital　letters；　if　she　〃crashed〃&mdash；　put　the　word　crashed　in　quotes。〃

〃Did　you　ever　solo；　Heiress？〃

〃No；〃　the　girl　said。　〃I　don't　have　to　now。　But　I　would　like　another　drink。　I　love　you；　David。〃

〃Kiss　her　again　the　way　you　did　before；〃　Catherine　said。

〃Sometime；〃　David　said。　〃I'm　making　drinks。〃

〃I'm　so　glad　we're　all　friends　again　and　everything　is　fine；〃　Catherine　said。　She　was　very　animated　now　and　her　voice　was　natural　and　almost　relaxed。

〃I　forgot　about　the　surprise　that　Heiress　bought　this　morning。　I'll　go　and　get　it。〃

When　Catherine　was　gone；　the　girl　took　David's　hand　and　held　it　very　tight　and　then　kissed　it。　They　sat　and　looked　at　each　other。　She　touched　his　hand　with　her　fingers　almost　absent　mindedly。　She　curled　her　fingers　around　his　and　then　released　them。　〃We　don't　need　to　talk；〃　she　said。　〃You　don't　want　me　to　make　a　speech　do　you？〃

〃No。　But　we　have　to　talk　sometime。〃

'Would　you　like　me　to　go　away？〃

〃You'd　be　smarter　to　go　away。

〃Would　you　kiss　me　so　I　know　that　it　is　all　right　if　I　stay？〃　Catherine　had　come　in　now　with　the　young　waiter　who　carried　a　large　tin　of　caviar　in　a　bowl　of　ice　on　a　tray　with　a　plate　of　toast。　〃That　was　a　wonderful　kiss；〃　she　said。　〃Everyone　saw　it　so　there's　no　longer　any　fear　of　scandal　or　anything；〃　Catherine　said。　〃They're　cutting　up　some　egg　whites　and　some　onion。
It　was　very　large　firm　gray　caviar　and　Catherine　dipped　it　onto　the　pieces　of　thin　toast。
〃Heiress　bought　you　a　case　of　B6llinger　Brut　1915　and　there　is　some　iced。　Don't　you　think　we　should　drink　a　bottle　with　this？〃
〃Sure；〃　said　David。　〃Let's　have　it　all　through　the　meal。〃
〃Isn't　it　lucky　Heiress　and　I　are　rich　so　you'll　never　have　anything　to　worry　about？　We'll　take　good　care　of　him　won't　we　Heiress？〃

'We　must　try　very　hard；〃　the　girl　said。　〃I'm　trying　to　study　his　needs。　This　was　all　we　could　find　for　today。〃
Chapter　Fourteen





HE　HAD　5LEPT　about　two　hours　when　the　daylight　woke　him　and　he　looked　at　Catherine　sleeping　easily　and　looking　happy　in　her　sleep。　He　left　her　looking　beautiful　and　young　and　unspoiled　and　then　went　into　the　bathroom　and　showered　and　put　on　a　pair　of　shorts　and　walked　barefoot　through　the　garden　to　the　room　where　he　worked。　The　sky　was　washed　clean　after　the　wind　and　it　was　the　fresh　early　morning　of　a　new　day　toward　the　end　of

summer。

He　started　in　again　on　the　new　and　difficult　story　and　worked　attacking　each　thing　that　for　years　he　had　put　off　facing。　He　worked　until　nearly　eleven　o'clock　and　when　he　had　finished　for　the　day　he　shut　up　the　room　and　went　out　and　found　the　two　girls　playing　chess　at　a　table　in　the　garden。　They　both　looked　fresh　and　young　and　as　attractive　as　the　wind…washed　morning
sky。
〃She's　beating　me　again；〃　Catherine　said。　〃How　are　you；　David？〃
The　girl　smiled　at　him　very　shyly。


They　are　the　two　loveliest　girls　I've　ever　seen；　David　thought。　Now　what　will　this　day　bring。　〃How　are　you　two？〃　he　said。
〃We're　very　well；〃　the　girl　said。　〃Did　you　have　good　luck？〃
〃It's　all　uphill　but　it's　going　well；〃　he　said。
〃You　haven't　had　any　breakfast。〃
〃It's　too　late　for　breakfast；〃　David　said。
〃Nonsense；〃　Catherine　said。　〃You're　wife　of　the　day；　Heiress。　Make　him　eat　breakfast。〃
〃Wouldn't　you　like　coffee　and　some　fruit；　David？〃　the　girl　asked。　〃You　ought　to　eat　something。〃
〃I'll　have　some　black　coffee；〃　David　said。
〃I'll　bring　you　something；〃　the　girl　said　and　went　off　into　the　hotel。
David　sat　by　Catherine　at　the　table　and　she　put　the　chessmen　and　the　board　on　a　chair。　She　mussed　his　hair　and　said；　〃Have　you　forgotten　you　have　a　silver　head　like　mine？〃
〃Yes；〃　he　said。
〃It's　going　to　be　lighter　and　lighter　and　I'll　be　fairer　and　fairer　and　darker　in　the　body　too。〃
〃That　will　be　wonderful。〃
〃Yes　and　I'm　all　over　everything。〃
The　pretty　dark　girl　was　bringing　a　tray　with　a　small　bowl　rounded　with　caviar；　a　half　lemon；　a　spoon　and　two　pieces　of　toast　and　the　young