hemingway, ernest - garden of eden-第21章

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〃
〃That's　the　noon　light；〃　David　said。
〃No。　I　don't　think　so；〃　she　said。　〃It　wasn't　very　nice　and　it　was　lovely　when　I　stopped　to　watch　the　ship。　She　didn't　look　big　to　have　such　a　big　name。〃
〃Please　eat　some　of　the　steak；〃　David　said。　〃You've　eaten　hardly　anything。〃
〃I'm　sorry；〃　she　said。　〃It's　good。　I　like　tournedos。〃
'Would　you　like　something　instead　of　the　meat？〃
〃No。　I'll　eat　the　salad。　Do　you　think　we　could　have　a　bottle　of　the　Perrier…Jouet？〃
〃Of　course。〃
〃It　was　always　such　a　nice　wine；〃　she　said。　〃And　we　were　always　so　happy　with　it。〃
Afterward　in　their　room　Catherine　said；　〃Don't　worry；　David；　please。　It's　just　speeded　up　so　much　lately。〃
〃How？〃　he　asked。　He　was　stroking　her　forehead。
〃I　don't　know。　All　of　a　sudden　I　was　old　this　morning　and　it　wasn't　even　the　right　time　of　year。　Then　the　colors　started　to　be　false。　I　worried　and　wanted　to　get　you　taken　care　of。〃

〃You　take　wonderful　care　of　everybody。〃

〃I'm　going　to　but　I　was　so　tired　and　there　wasn't　any　time　and　I　knew　it　would　be　so　humiliating　if　the　money　ran　out　and　you　had　to　borrow　and　I　hadn't　fixed　up　anything　nor　signed　any　thing　and　just　been　sloppy　the　way　I've　been。　Then　I　worried　about　your　dog。〃

〃My　dog？〃

〃Yes　your　dog　in　Africa　in　the　story。　I　went　in　the　room　to　see　if　you　needed　anything　and　I　read　the　story。　While　you　and　Marita　were　talking　in　the　other　room。　I　didn't　listen。　You　left　your　keys　in　the　shorts　you　changed　from。〃

〃It's　about　half　through；〃　he　told　her。

〃It's　wonderful；〃　she　said。　〃But　it　frightens　me。　The　elephant　was　so　strange　and　your　father　too。　I　never　liked　him　but　I　like　the　dog　better　than　anyone　except　you　David；　and　I'm　so　worried　about　him。〃

〃He　was　a　wonderful　dog。　You　don't　have　to　worry　about　him。〃

〃Can　I　read　about　what　happened　to　him　today　in　the　story？〃

〃Sure；　if　you　want　to。　But　he's　at　the　shamba　now　and　you　don't　need　to　worry　about　him。〃

〃If　he's　all　right　I　won't　read　it　until　you　get　back　to　him。　Kibo。　He　had　a　lovely　name。〃

〃It's　the　name　of　a　mountain。　The　other　part　is　Mawenzi。〃

〃You　and　Kibo。　I　love　you　so　much。　You　were　so　much　alike。〃

〃You're　feeling　better；　Devil。〃

〃Probably；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I　hope　so。　But　it　won't　last。　Driving　this　morning　I　was　so　very　happy　and　then　suddenly　I　was　old；　so　old　I　didn't　care　anymore。

〃You're　not　old。〃

〃Yes　I　am。　I'm　older　than　my　mother's　old　clothes　and　I　won't　outlive　your　dog。　Not　even　in　a　story。〃
i　163
Chapter　Twenty





DAvID　HAD　FINISHED　writing　and　he　was　empty　and　hollow…　feeling　from　having　driven　himself　long　past　the　point　where　he　should　have　stopped。　He　did　not　think　it　mattered　that　day　because　it　was　the　exhaustion　part　of　the　story　and　so　he　had　felt　the　tiredness　as　soon　as　they　had　picked　up　the　trail　again。　For　a　long　time　he　had　been　fresher　and　in　better　shape　than　the　two　men　and　impatient　with　their　slow　trailing　and　the　regular　halts　his　father　made　each　hour　on　the　hour。　He　could　have　moved　ahead　much　faster　than　Juma　and　his　father　but　when　he　started　to　tire　they　were　the　same　as　ever　and　at　noon　they　took　only　the　usual　five　minute　rest　and　he　had　seen　that　Juma　was　increasing　the　pace　a　little。　Perhaps　he　wasn't。　Perhaps　it　had　only　seemed　faster　but　the　dung　was　fresher　now　although　it　was　not　warm　yet　to　the　touch。　Juma　gave　him　the　rifle　to　carry　after　they　came　on　the　last　pile　of　dung　but　after　an　hour　he　looked　at　him　and　took　it　back。　They　had　been　climbing　steadily　across　a　slope　of　the　mountain　but　now　the　trail　went　down　and　from　a　gap　in　the　forest　he　saw　the　broken　country　ahead。

〃Here's　where　the　tough　part　starts；　Davey；〃　his　father　said。

It　was　then　he　knew　that　he　should　have　been　sent　back　to　the　shamba　once　he　had　put　them　on　the　trail。　Juma　had　known　it　for　a　long　time。　His　father　knew　it　now　and　there　was　nothing　to　be　done。　It　was　another　of　his　mistakes　and　there　was　nothing　to　do　now　except　gamble。　David　looked　down　at　the　big　flattened　circle　of　the　print　of　the　elephant　foot　and　saw　where　the　bracken　had　been　pressed　down　and　where　a　broken　stem　of　a　flowering　weed　was　drying　beyond　the　break。　Juma　picked　it　up　and　looked　at　the　sun。　Juma　handed　the　broken　weed　to　David's　father　and　his　father　rolled　it　in　his　fingers。　David　noticed　the　white　flowers　that　were　drooped　and　drying。　But　they　still　had　not　dried　in　the　sun　nor　shed　their　petals。

〃It's　going　to　be　a　bitch；〃　his　father　said。　〃Let's　get　going。〃

Late　in　the　afternoon　they　were　still　tracking　through　the　broken　country。　He　had　been　sleepy　now　for　a　long　time　and　as　he　watched　the　two　men　he　knew　that　sleepiness　was　his　real　enemy　and　he　followed　their　pace　and　tried　to　move　through　and　out　of　the　sleep　that　deadened　him。　The　two　men　relieved　each　other　tracking　on　the　hour　and　the　one　who　was　in　second　place　looked　back　at　him　at　regular　intervals　to　check　if　he　was　with　them。　When　they　made　a　dry　camp　at　dark　in　the　forest　again　he　went　to　sleep　as　soon　as　he　sat　down　and　woke　with　Juma　holding　his　moccasins　and　feeling　his　bare　feet　for　blisters。　His　father　had　spread　his　coat　over　him　and　was　sitting　by　him　with　a　piece　of　cold　cooked　meat　and　two　biscuits。　He　offered　him　a　water　bottle　with　cold　tea。

〃He'll　have　to　feed；　Davey；〃　his　father　said。　〃Your　feet　are　in　good　shape。　They're　as　sound　as　Juma's。　Eat　this　slowly　and　drink　some　tea　and　go　to　sleep　again。　We　haven't　any　problem。〃

〃I'm　sorry　I　was　so　sleepy。〃

〃You　and　Kibo　hunted　and　travelled　all　last　night。　Why　shouldn't　you　be　sleepy？　You　can　have　a　little　more　meat　if　you　want　it。〃

〃I'm　not　hungry。〃
164　165



〃Good。　We're　good　for　three　days。　We'll　hit　water　again　tomorrow。　Plenty　of　creeks　come　off　the　mountain。〃

〃Where's　he　going？〃

〃Juma　thinks　he　knows。〃

〃Isn't　it　bad？〃

〃Not　too　bad；　Davey。〃

〃I'm　going　back　to　sleep；〃　David　had　said。　〃I　don't　need　your　coat。〃

〃Juma　and　I　are　all　right；〃　his　father　said。　〃I　always　sleep　warm　you　know。〃

David　was　asleep　even　before　his　father　said　good　night。　Then　he　woke　once　with　the　moonlight　on　his　face　and　he　thought　of　the　elephant　with　his　great　ears　moving　as　he　stood　in　the　forest；　his　head　hung　down　with　the　weight　of　the　tusks。　David　thought　then　in　the　night　that　the　hollow　way　he　felt　as　he　remembered　him　was　from　waking　hungry。　But　it　was　not　and　he　found　that　out　in　the　next　three　days。

In　the　story　he　had　tried　to　make　the　elephant　come　alive　again　as　he　and　Kibo　had　seen　him　in　the　night　when　the　moon　had　risen。　Maybe　I　can；　David　thought；　maybe　I　can。　But　as　he　locked　up　the　day's　work　and　went　out　of　the　room　and　shut　the　door　he　told　himself；　No；　you　can't　do　it。　The　elephant　was　old　and　if　it　had　not　been　your　father　it　would　have　been　someone　else。　There　is　nothing　you　can　do　except　try　to　write　it　the　way　that　it　was。　So　you　must　write　each　day　better　than　you　possibly　can　and　use　the　sorrow　that　you　have　now　to　make　you　know　how　the　early　sorrow　came。　And　you　must　always　remember　the　things　you　believed　because　if　you　know　them　they　will　be　there　in　the　writing　and　you　won't　betray　them。　The　writing　is　the　only　progress　you　make。

He　went　behind　the　bar　and　found　the　bottle　of　Haig　and　a　cold　half　bottle　of　Perrier　and　made　himself　a　drink　and　took　it　out　in　the　big　kitchen　to　find　Madame。　He　told　her　he　was　going　into　Cannes　and　would　not　be　back　for　lunch。　She　scolded

him　about　drinking　whiskey　on　an　empty　stomach　and　he　asked　her　what　she　had　cold　that　he　could　put　in　the　empty　stomach　with　the　whiskey。　She　brought　out　some　cold　chicken　and　sliced　it　and　put　it　on　a　plate　and　made　an　endive　salad　and　he　went　into　the　bar　and　made　another　drink　and　came　back　to　sit　down　at　the　kitchen　table。

〃Don't　drink　that　now　before　you　eat；　Monsieur；〃　Madame　said。

〃It's　good　for　me；〃　he　told　her。　〃We　drank　it　at　the　mess　like　wine　in　the　war。〃

〃It's　a　wonder　you　weren't　all　drunkards。〃

〃Like　the　French；〃　he　said　and　they　argued　French　working　class　drinking　habits；　on　which　they　both　agreed；　and　she　teased　him　that　his　women　had　left　him。　He　said　that　he　was　tired　of　them　both　and　wasn't　she　ready　to　take　their　place　now？　No；　she　said；　he　would　have　to　show　more　evidence　he　was　a　man　before　he　roused　a　woman　of　the　Midi。　He　said　he　was　going　into　Cannes　where　he　could　get　a　proper　meal　and　would　come　back　like　a　lion　and　let　the　women　of　the　south　take　care。　They　kissed　affectionately　with　the　kiss　of　the　favoured　client　and　the　brave　femme　and　then　David　went　in　to　take　a　shower；　to　shave　and　to　change。

The　shower　made　him　feel　good　and　he　was　cheered　up　from　talking　to　Madame。　I　wonder　what　she　would　say　if　she　knew　what　it　was　all　about；　he　thought。　Things　had　changed　since　the　war　and　both　Monsieur　and　Madame　had　a　sense　of　style　and　they　wished　to　move　with　the　change。　We　three　clients　are　all　de　gens　tres　bien。　So　long　as　it　pays　and　isn't　violent　there　is　nothing　wrong　with　it。　The　Russians　are　gone；　the　British　are　beginning　to　be　poor；　the　Germans　are　ruined；　and　now　there　is　this　disregard　of　the　established　rules　which　can　very　well　be　the　salvation　of　the　whole　coast。　We　are　pioneers　in　opening　up　the　summer　season　which　is　still　regarded　as　madness。　He　looked　at　his　face　in　the　mirror　with　one　side　shaved。　Still；　he　said　to
i66　167




himself；　you　don't　need　to　be　such　a　pioneer　as　not　to　shave　the　other　side。　And　then　he　noted　with　careful　critical　distaste　the　almost　silvery　whiteness　of　his　hair。

He　heard　the　Bugatti　come　up　the　long　slope　and　turn　onto　the　gravel　and　stop。

Catherine　came　into　the　room。　She　had　a　scarf　over　her　head　and　sunglasses　on　and　she　took　them　off　and　kissed　David。　He　held　her　close　and　said；　〃How　are　you？〃

〃Not　so　good；〃　she　said。　〃It　was　too　hot。〃　She　smiled　at　him　and　put　her　forehead　on　his　shoulder。　〃I'm　glad　I'm　home。〃

He　went　out　and　made　a　Tom　Collins　and　brought　it　in　to　Catherine　who　had　finished　a　cold　shower。　She　took　the　tall　cold　glass　and　sipped　from　it　and　then　held　it　against　the　smooth　dark　skin　of　her　belly。　She　touched　the　glass　to　the　tips　of　each　of　her　breasts　so　they　came　erect　and　then　took　a　long　sip　and　held　the　cold　glass　against　her　belly　again。　〃This　is　wonderful；〃　she　said。

He　kissed　her　and　she　said；　〃Oh；　that's　nice。　I'd　forgotten　about　that。　I　don't　see　any　good　reason　why　I　should　give　that　up。　Do　you？〃

〃Well；　I　haven't；〃　she　said。　〃I'm　not　going　to　turn　you　over　to　someone　else　prematurely。　That　was　a　silly　idea。〃

〃Get　dressed　and　come　on　out；〃　David　said。

〃No。　I　want　to　have　fun　with　you　like　in　the　old　days。〃

〃How？〃

〃You　know。　To　make　you　happy。〃

〃How　happy？〃

〃This。〃

〃Be　careful；〃　he　said。

〃Please。〃

〃All　right；　if　you　want。〃

〃The　way　it　was　in　Grau　du　Roi　the　first　time　it　ever　happened？〃

7



〃If　you　want。〃
〃Thank　you　for　giving　me　this　time　because&mdash；〃
〃Don't　talk。〃
〃It's　just　like　Grau　du　Roi　but　it's　lovelier　because　it's　in　the　daytime　and　we　love　each　other　more　because　I'd　gone　away。　Please　let's　be　slow　and　slow　and　slow&mdash；〃
〃Yes　slow。〃
〃Are　you&mdash；〃
〃Yes。〃
〃Are　you　really？〃
〃Yes　if　you　want。〃
〃Oh　I　want　so　much　and　you　are　and　I　have。　Please　be　slow　and　let　me　keep　it。〃
〃You　have　it。〃
〃Yes　I　do。　I　do　have　it。　Oh　yes　I　do。　I　do。　Please　come　now　with　me。　Ple