hemingway, ernest - garden of eden-第30章

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Very　much　later　he　called　for　the　waiter　and　paid　for　the　drinks　and　left　a　good　tip　and　he　had　started　the　car　and　put　on　the　lights　and　was　letting　out　the　clutch　when　what　had　really　happened　came　back　to　him　again。　It　was　back　as　clear　and　unblurred　as　when　he　had　first　looked　into　the　trash　burner　and　seen　the　ashes　that　had　been　stirred　by　the　broomstick。　He　pushed　his　headlights　carefully　out　through　the　quiet　and　empty　evening　of　the　town　and　followed　them　along　the　port　onto　the　road。　He　felt　Marita's　shoulder　by　him　and　heard　her　say；　〃I　know；　David。　It　hit　me　too。〃

〃Don't　let　it。〃

〃I'm　glad　it　did。　There's　nothing　to　do　but　we'll　do　it。〃

〃Good。〃

〃We'll　really　do　it。　Toi　et　moi。〃

Chapter　Twenty…eight



AT　THE　HOTEL　Madame　came　in　from　the　kitchen　when　David　and　Marita　came　into　the　main　room。　She　had　a　letter　in　her　hand。
〃Madame　took　the　train　for　Biarritz；〃　she　said。　〃She　left　this　letter　for　Monsieur。〃
'When　did　she　go？〃　David　asked。
〃Immediately　after　Monsieur　and　Madame　left；〃　Madame　Aurol　said。　〃She　sent　the　boy　to　the　station　for　the　ticket　and　to　reserve　a　wagon…lit。〃
David　began　reading　the　letter。
'What　would　you　eat？〃　Madame　said。　〃Some　cold　chicken　and　a　salad？　An　omelette　to　start。　There's　lamb　too　if　Monsieur　would　rather。　What　would　he　like；　Madame？〃
Marita　and　Madame　Aurol　were　talking　together　and　David　finished　reading　the　letter。　He　put　it　in　his　pocket　and　looked　at　Madame　Aurol。　〃Did　she　seem　herself　when　she　left？〃
〃Perhaps　not；　Monsieur。〃
〃She'll　be　back；〃　David　said。
〃Yes；　Monsieur。〃

〃We　will　take　good　care　of　her。〃

〃Yes；　Monsieur。〃　She　began　to　cry　a　little　as　she　turned　the　omelette　and　David　put　his　arm　around　her　and　kissed　her。　〃Go　and　talk　to　Madame；〃　she　said；　〃and　let　me　set　the　table。　Aurol　and　the　boy　are　at　Napoule；　mixing　belote　and　politics。〃

〃I'll　set　it；〃　Marita　said。　〃Open　the　wine；　David；　please。　Don't　you　think　we　should　have　a　bottle　of　the　Lanson？〃

He　closed　the　door　of　the　ice　chest　and　holding　the　cold　bottle　untwisted　the　seal　and　loosened　the　wire　and　then　carefully　moved　the　cork　between　his　thumb　and　first　finger　feeling　the　pinch　of　metal　cap　against　his　thumb　and　the　long　cold　rounded　promise　of　the　bottle。　He　brought　the　cork　out　gently　and　poured　three　glasses　full。　Madame　stood　back　from　the　stove　with　her　glass　and　they　all　raised　their　glasses。　David　did　not　know　what　to　drink　to　so　he　said　the　first　words　that　came　which　were；　〃A　nous　et　a　la　liberte。〃

They　all　drank　and　then　Madame　served　the　omelette　and　they　all　drank　again　without　making　a　toast。

〃Eat；　David；　please；〃　Marita　said。

〃All　right；〃　he　said　and　drank　some　of　the　wine　and　ate　some　of　the　omelette　slowly。

〃Just　eat　a　little；〃　Marita　said。　〃It　will　be　good　for　you。〃

Madame　looked　at　Marita　and　shook　her　head。　〃Nothing　is　helped　by　your　not　eating；〃　Madame　told　him。

〃Sure；〃　said　David　and　ate　slowly　and　carefully　and　drank　the　champagne　that　was　born　new　each　time　he　poured　a　glass。

〃Where　did　she　leave　the　car？〃　he　asked。

〃At　the　station；〃　Madame　said。　〃The　boy　rode　down　with　her。　He　brought　back　the　key。　It's　in　your　room。

'Was　the　wagon…lit　crowded？〃

〃No。　He　put　her　aboard。　There　were　very　few　passengers。　She　will　have　a　place。〃

〃It's　not　a　bad　train；〃　David　said。

〃Eat　some　chicken；〃　Madame　said；　〃and　drink　some　more　wine。　Op　en　another　bottle。　Your　women　are　thirsty　too。〃

〃I'm　not　thirsty；〃　Marita　said。

〃Yes；　you　are；〃　Madame　said。　〃Drink　up　now　and　take　a　bottle　with　you。　I　know　this　one。　It's　good　for　him　to　drink　good　wine。〃

〃I　don't　want　to　drink　too　much；　chbie；〃　David　said　to　Madame。　〃Because　tomorrow　is　a　bad　day　and　I'd　rather　not　feel　bad　too。〃

〃You　won't。　I　know　you。　Just　eat　now　to　please　me。

She　excused　herself　in　a　few　minutes　and　was　gone　for　a　quarter　of　an　hour。　David　ate　all　of　his　chicken　and　the　salad　finally　and　after　she　had　come　back　they　all　had　a　glass　of　wine　together　and　then　David　and　Marita　said　good　night　to　Madame　who　was　very　formal　now　and　went　out　onto　the　terrace　and　looked　at　the　night。　They　were　both　in　a　hurry　and　David　was　carrying　the　opened　bottle　of　wine　in　an　ice　bucket。　He　put　it　down　on　the　stove　and　took　Marita　in　his　arms　and　kissed　her。　They　held　each　other　close　and　said　nothing　and　then　David　picked　up　the　bucket　and　they　walked　to　Marita's　room。

Her　bed　had　been　made　up　now　for　two　people　and　David　put　the　ice　bucket　down　on　the　floor　and　said；　〃Madame。〃

〃Yes；〃　Marita　said。　〃Naturally。〃


They　lay　together　with　the　night　clear　and　cool　outside　and　the　small　breeze　from　the　sea　and　Marita　said；　〃I　love　you；　David；　and　it's　so　sure　now。

Sure；　David　thought。　Sure。　Nothing　is　sure。

〃All　the　time　before　now；〃　Marita　said；　〃before　I　could　sleep　all　night　with　you　I've　thought　and　thought　you　wouldn't　like　the　sort　of　wife　who　couldn't　sleep。〃

〃What　sort　of　wife　are　you？〃

〃You'll　see。　A　happy　one　now。


Then　he　felt　it　was　a　long　time　before　he　went　to　sleep　but　really　it　was　not　and　when　he　woke　at　the　first　gray　light　he　saw　Marita　in　the　bed　beside　him　and　was　happy　until　he　remembered　what　had　happened。　He　was　very　careful　not　to　wake　her　but　when　she　stirred　he　kissed　her　before　he　stepped　out　of　bed。　She　smiled　and　said；　〃Good　morning；　David；〃　and　he　said；　〃Go　back　to　sleep　my　dearest　love。〃

She　said；　〃All　right；〃　and　rolled　over　quickly　like　a　small　animal　and；　dark　headed；　lay　curled　up　with　her　closed　eyes　away　from　the　light　and　her　long　dark　shiny　eyelashes　against　the　rose　brown　early　morning　color　of　her　skin。　David　looked　at　her　and　thought　how　beautiful　she　was　and　how　he　could　see　her　spirit　had　not　gone　from　her　body　when　she　slept。　She　was　lovely　and　her　coloring　and　the　unbelievable　smoothness　of　her　skin　were　almost　Javanese；　he　thought。　He　watched　the　coloring　in　her　face　deepen　as　the　light　grew　stronger。　Then　he　shook　his　head　and　carrying　his　clothing　on　his　left　arm　opened　and　closed　the　door　and　went　out　into　the　new　morning；　walking　barefoot　on　the　stones　that　were　still　wet　with　dew。

In　his　and　Catherine's　room　he　took　a　shower；　shaved；　found　a　fresh　shirt　and　shorts　and　put　them　on；　looked　around　the　empty　bedroom；　the　first　morning　he　had　ever　been　in　it　with　Catherine　not　there；　and　then　went　out　to　the　empty　kitchen　and　found　a　tin　of　Maquereau　Vin　Blanc　Capitaine　Cook　and　opened　it　and　took　it；　perilous　with　edge…level　juice；　with　a　cold　bottle　of　the　Tuborg　beer　out　to　the　bar。

He　opened　the　beer；　took　the　bottle　top　between　his　right　thumb　and　the　first　joint　of　his　right　forefinger　and　bent　it　in　until　it　was　flattened　together；　put　it　in　his　pocket　since　he　saw　no　container　to　toss　it　into；　raised　the　bottle　that　was　still　cold　to　his　hand　and　now　beaded　wet　in　his　fingers　and；　smelling　the　aroma　from　the　opened　tin　of　spiced　and　marinated　mackerel；　he　took　a　long　drink　of　the　cold　beer；　set　it　down　on　the　bar　and

took　an　envelope　from　his　hip　pocket　and　unfolded　Catherine's　letter　and　commenced　to　reread　it。


David；　I　knew　very　suddenly　you　must　know　how　terrible　it　was。　Worse　than　hitting　someone；　a　child　is　the　worst　I　guess&mdash；with　a　car。　The　thump　on　the　fender　or　maybe　just　a　small　bump　and　then　all　the　rest　of　it　happening　and　the　crowd　gathering　to　scream。　The　Frenchwoman　screaming　&rasseuse　even　if　it　was　the　child's　fault。　I　did　it　and　I　knew　I　did　it　and　I　can't　undo　it。　It's　too　awful　to　understand。　But　it　happened。

I'll　cut　this　short。　I'll　be　back　and　we'll　settle　things　the　best　we　can。　Do　not　worry　at　all。　I'll　wire　and　write　and　do　all　the　things　for　my　book　so　if　you　ever　finish　it　only　I　will　try　to　do　this　one　thing。　I　had　to　burn　the　other　things。　The　worst　was　being　righteous　about　it　but　I　don't　have　to　tell　you　that。　I　do　not　ask　for　forgiveness　but　please　have　good　luck　and　I　will　do　everything　as　well　as　I　can。

Heiress　has　been　good　to　you　and　me　both　and　I　don't　hate　her。

I　won't　end　as　I'd　like　to　because　it　would　sound　too　preposterous　to　believe　but　I　will　say　it　anyway　since　I　was　always　rude　and　presumptuous　and　preposterous　too　lately　as　we　both　know。　I　love　you　and　I　always　will　and　I　am　sorry。　What　a　useless　word。

Catherine

After　he　had　finished　it　he　read　it　through　again。

He　had　never　read　any　other　letters　from　Catherine　because　from　the　time　they　had　met　at　the　Crillon　bar　in　Paris　until　they　were　married　at　the　American　church　at　Avenue　Hoche　they　had　seen　each　other　every　day　and；　reading　this　first　one　now　for　the　third　time；　he　found　that　he　still　could　be；　and　was；　moved　by　her。

He　put　the　letter　back　in　his　hip　pocket　and　ate　a　second　small；　plump；　miniature　mackerel　in　the　aromatic　white　wine　sauce　and


。


finished　the　cold　beer。　Then　he　went　out　to　the　kitchen　for　a　piece　of　bread　to　sop　up　the　liquid　in　the　long　tin　and　for　a　fresh　bottle　of　beer。　He　would　try　to　work　today　and　would　almost　certainly　fail。　There　had　been　too　much　emotion；　too　much　damage；　too　much　of　everything　and　his　changing　of　allegiance；　no　matter　how　sound　it　had　seemed；　no　matter　how　it　simplified　things　for　him；　was　a　grave　and　violent　thing　and　this　letter　compounded　the　gravity　and　the　violence。

All　right　Bourne；　he　thought　as　he　began　to　drink　the　second　beer；　don't　spend　time　thinking　how　bad　things　are　because　you　know。　You　have　three　choices。　Try　to　remember　one　that　is　gone　and　write　it　again。　Second；　you　can　try　a　new　one。　And　third；　write　on　the　god　damned　narrative。　So　sharpen　up　and　take　the　best　one。　You　always　gambled　when　you　could　bet　on　yourself。　Never　bet　on　anything　that　can　talk；　your　father　said　and　you　said；　Except　yourself。　And　he　said；　Not　me；　Davey；　but　pile　it　on　yourself　sometime　you　iron…hearted　little　bastard。　He　meant　to　say　cold…hearted　but　he　turned　it　kindly　with　his　gently　lying　mouth。　Or　maybe　he　meant　it。　Don't　con　yourself　on　Tuborg　beer。

So　take　the　best　one　and　write　one　new　and　good　as　you　can。　And　remember；　Marita　has　been　hit　as　badly　as　you。　Maybe　worse。　So　gamble。　She　cares　as　much　for　what　we　lost　as　you　do。

Chapter　Twenty…nine




WHEN　HE　FINALLY　gave　up　writing　that　day　it　was　afternoon。　He　had　started　a　sentence　as　soon　as　he　had　gone　into　his　working　room　and　had　completed　it　but　he　could　write　nothing　after　it。　He　crossed　it　out　and　started　another　sentence　and　again　came　to　the　complete　blankness。　He　was　unable　to　write　the　sentence　that　should　follow　although　he　knew　it。　He　wrote　a　first　simple　declarative　sentence　again　and　it　was　impossible　for　him　to　put　down　the　next　sentence　on　paper。　At　the　end　of　two　hours　it　was　the　same。　He　could　not　write　more　than　a　single　sentence　and　the　sentences　themselves　were　increasingly　simple　and　completely　dull。　He　kept　at　it　for　four　hours　before　he　knew　that　resolution　was　powerless　against　what　had　happened。　He　admitted　it　with　out　accepting　it；　closed　and　put　away　the　notebook　with　the　rows　of　crossed　out　lines　and　went　to　find　the　girl。

She　was　on　the　terrace　in　the　sun　reading　and　when　she　looked　up　and　saw　his　face　she　said；　〃No？〃

〃Worse　than　no。〃

〃Not　at　all？〃

〃Nope。〃
238　239

。　。
〃Let's　have　a　drink；〃　Marita　said。
〃Good；〃　said　David。

They　were　inside　at　the　bar　and　the　day　had　come　in　with　them。　It　was　as　good　as　the　day　b