hemingway, ernest - garden of eden-第7章

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She　came　back　to　the　big　room　and　went　to　the　mirror　and　sat　and　brushed　her　hair　looking　at　herself　critically。

〃Let's　have　breakfast　in　bed；〃　she　said。　〃And　can　we　have　champagne　if　it's　not　wicked？　In　the　brut　they　have　Lanson　and　Perrier…Jouet　of　the　good。　May　I　ring？〃

〃Yes；〃　he　said　and　went　under　the　shower。　Before　he　put　it　on　full　force　he　could　hear　her　voice　on　the　telephone。

When　he　came　out　she　was　sitting　back　very　formally　against　two　pillows　with　all　the　pillows　neatly　shaken　out　and　placed　two　and　two　at　the　head　of　the　bed。

〃Do　I　look　all　right　with　my　head　wet？〃

〃It's　just　damp。　You　dried　it　with　the　towel。〃

〃I　can　cut　it　shorter　on　the　forehead。　I　can　do　that　myself。　Or　you　can。

〃I'd　like　it　if　it　came　over　your　eyes。

〃Maybe　it　will；〃　she　said。　〃Who　knows？　Maybe　we'll　get　tired　of　being　classical。　And　today　we'll　stay　on　the　beach　all　through　noon。　We'll　go　way　far　down　it　and　we　can　tan　really　when　the　people　all　come　in　for　lunch　and　then　we'll　ride　to　St。　Jean　to　eat　when　we're　hungry　at　the　Bar　Basque。　But　first　you'll　make　us　go　to　the　beach　because　we　need　to。〃

〃Good。〃

David　moved　a　chair　over　and　put　his　hand　close　on　hers　and　she　looked　at　him　and　said；　〃Two　days　ago　I　understood　every　thing　and　then　the　absinthe　made　me　turn　on　it。〃

〃I　know；〃　David　told　her。　〃You　couldn't　help　it。〃

〃But　I　hurt　you　about　the　clippings。〃

〃No；〃　he　said。　〃You　tried。　You　didn't　make　it。〃

〃I'm　so　sorry；　David。　Please　believe　me。〃

〃Everybody　has　strange　things　that　mean　things　to　them。　You　couldn't　help　it。〃

〃No；〃　the　girl　said　and　shook　her　head。

〃It's　all　right　then；〃　David　said。　〃Don't　cry。　It's　all　right。〃

〃I　never　cry；〃　she　said。　〃But　I　can't　help　it。〃

〃I　know　it　and　you're　beautiful　when　you　cry。

〃No。　Don't　say　it。　But　I　never　cried　before　did　I？〃

〃Never。〃

〃But　will　it　be　bad　for　you　if　we　stay　here　just　two　days　on

48　49

the　beach？　We　haven't　had　any　chance　to　swim　and　it　would　be　silly　to　have　been　here　and　not　to　swim。　Where　are　we　going　to　go　when　we　leave　here？　Oh。　We　haven't　decided　yet。　We'll　probably　decide　tonight　or　in　the　morning。　Where　would　you　suggest？〃

〃I　think　anywhere　would　be　fine；〃　David　said。

〃Well　maybe　that's　where　we　will　go。〃　〃It's　a　big　place。〃

〃It's　nice　to　be　alone　though　and　I'll　pack　us　nicely。〃

〃There's　nothing　much　to　do　except　put　in　toilet　things　and　close　two　bags。〃

〃We　can　leave　in　the　morning　if　you　want。　Truly　I　don't　want　to　do　anything　to　you　or　have　any　bad　effect　on　you。

The　waiter　knocked　on　the　door。

〃There　was　no　more　Perrier…Jouet；　Madame；　so　I　brought　the　Lanson。〃

She　had　stopped　crying　and　David's　hand　was　still　close　on　hers　and　he　said；　〃I　know。

Chapter　Six




THEY　had　SPENT　the　morning　at　the　Prado　and　now　were　sitting　at　a　place　in　a　building　with　thick　stone　walls。　It　was　cool　and　very　old。　There　were　wine　casks　around　the　walls。　The　tables　were　old　and　thick　and　the　chairs　were　worn。　The　light　came　from　the　door。　The　waiter　brought　them　glasses　of　manzanilla　from　the　lowland　near　Cadiz　called　the　Marismas　with　thin　slices　of　jam6n　serrano；　a　smoky；　hard　cured　ham　from　pigs　that　fed　on　acorns；　and　bright　red　spicy　salchich6n；　another　even　spicier　dark　sausage　from　a　town　called　Vich　and　anchovies　and　garlic　olives。　They　ate　these　and　drank　more　of　the　manzanilla；　which　was　light　and　nutty　tasting。

Catherine　had　a　Spanish…English　Method　book　with　a　green　cover　on　the　table　close　to　her　hand　and　David　had　a　stack　of　the　morning　papers。　It　was　a　hot　day　but　cool　in　the　old　building　and　the　waiter　asked；　〃Do　you　want　gazpacho？〃　He　was　an　old　man　and　he　filled　their　glasses　again。

〃Do　you　think　the　sefiorita　would　like　it？〃

〃Try　her；〃　the　waiter　said　gravely　as　though　he　were　speaking　of　a　mare。


It　came　in　a　large　bowl　with　ice　floating　with　the　slices　of　crisp　cucumber；　tomato；　garlic　bread；　green　and　red　peppers；　and　the　coarsely　peppered　liquid　that　tasted　lightly　of　oil　and　vinegar。
〃It's　a　salad　soup；〃　Catherine　said。　〃It's　delicious。〃
〃Es　gazpacho；〃　the　waiter　said。
They　drank　Valdepefias　now　from　a　big　pitcher　and　it　started　to　build　with　the　foundation　of　the　marismeiio　only　held　back　temporarily　by　the　dilution　of　the　gazpacho　which　it　moved　in　on　confidently。　It　built　solidly。
〃What　is　this　wine？〃　Catherine　asked。
〃It's　an　African　wine；〃　David　said。
〃They　always　say　that　Africa　begins　at　the　Pyrenees；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I　remember　how　impressed　I　was　when　I　first　heard　it。〃
〃That's　one　of　those　easy　sayings；〃　David　said。　〃It's　more　complicated　than　that。　Just　drink　it。〃
〃But　how　can　I　tell　about　where　Africa　begins　if　I've　never　been　there？　People　are　always　telling　you　tricky　things。〃
〃Sure。　You　can　tell。〃
〃The　Basque　country　certainly　wasn't　like　Africa　or　anything　I　ever　heard　about　Africa。〃
〃Neither　is　Asturias　nor　Galicia　but　once　you're　in　from　the　coast　it　gets　to　be　Africa　fast　enough。〃
〃But　why　didn't　they　ever　paint　that　country？〃　Catherine　asked。　〃In　all　the　backgrounds　it　is　always　the　mountains　out　by　the　Escorial。〃
〃The　sierra；〃　David　said。　〃Nobody　wanted　to　buy　pictures　of　Castilla　the　way　you　saw　it。　They　never　did　have　landscape　painters。　The　painters　painted　what　was　ordered。〃
〃Except　Greco's　Toledo。　It's　terrible　to　have　such　a　wonderful　country　and　no　good　painters　ever　paint　it；〃　Catherine　said。
'What　should　we　eat　after　the　gazpacho？〃　David　said。　The

proprietor；　who　was　a　short　middle…aged　man；　heavily　built　and　square　faced；　had　come　over。　〃He　thinks　we　ought　to　have　meat　of　some　kind。〃

〃Hay　solomillo　muy　bueno；〃　the　owner　insisted。

〃No；　please；〃　Catherine　said。　〃Just　a　salad。〃

〃Well；　at　least　drink　a　little　wine；〃　the　proprietor　said　and　refilled　the　pitcher　from　the　spigot　of　the　cask　behind　the　bar。

〃I　shouldn't　drink；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I'm　sorry　I'm　talking　so　much。　I'm　sorry　if　I　talked　stupidly。　I　usually　do。〃

〃You　talk　very　interestingly　and　awfully　well　for　a　hot　day　like　this。　Does　the　wine　make　you　talkative？〃

〃It's　a　different　sort　of　talkative　than　absinthe；〃　Catherine　said。　〃It　doesn't　feel　dangerous。　I've　started　on　my　good　new　life　and　I'm　reading　now　and　looking　outward　and　trying　not　to　think　about　myself　so　much　and　I'm　going　to　keep　it　up　but　we　ought　not　to　be　in　any　town　this　time　of　year。　Maybe　we'll　go。　The　whole　way　here　I　saw　wonderful　things　to　paint　and　I　can't　paint　at　all　and　never　could。　But　I　know　wonderful　things　to　write　and　I　can't　even　write　a　letter　that　isn't　stupid。　I　never　wanted　to　be　a　painter　nor　a　writer　until　I　came　to　this　country。　Now　it's　just　like　being　hungry　all　the　time　and　there's　nothing　you　can　ever　do　about　it。〃

〃The　country　is　here。　You　don't　have　to　do　anything　about　it。　It's　always　here。　The　Prado's　here；〃　David　said。

〃There's　nothing　except　through　yourself；〃　she　said。　〃And　I　don't　want　to　die　and　it　be　gone。

〃You　have　every　mile　we　drove。　All　the　yellow　country　and　the　white　hills　and　the　chaff　blowing　and　the　long　lines　of　poplars　by　the　road。　You　know　what　you　saw　and　what　you　felt　and　it's　yours。　Don't　you　have　le　Grau　du　Roi　and　Aigues　Mortes　and　all　the　Camargue　that　we　rode　through　on　our　bikes？　This　will　be　the　same。〃

〃But　what　about　when　I'm　dead？〃

〃Then　you're　dead。〃

〃But　I　can't　stand　to　be　dead。〃

〃Then　don't　let　it　happen　till　it　happens。　Look　at　things　and　listen　and　feel。〃

〃What　if　I　can't　remember？〃

He　had　spoken　about　death　as　though　it　did　not　matter。　She　drank　the　wine　and　looked　at　the　thick　stone　walls　in　which　there　were　only　small　windows　with　bars　high　up　that　gave　onto　a　narrow　street　where　the　sun　did　not　shine。　The　doorway；　though；　gave　onto　an　arcade　and　the　bright　sunlight　on　the　worn　stones　of　the　square。

〃When　you　start　to　live　outside　yourself；〃　Catherine　said；　〃it's　all　dangerous。　Maybe　I'd　better　go　back　into　our　world；　your　and　my　world　that　I　made　up；　we　made　up　I　mean。　I　was　a　great　success　in　that　world。　It　was　only　four　weeks　ago。　I　think　maybe　I　will　be　again。〃

The　salad　came　and　then　there　was　its　greenness　on　the　dark　table　and　the　sun　on　the　plaza　beyond　the　arcade。

〃Do　you　feel　better？〃　David　asked。

〃Yes；〃　she　said。　〃I　was　thinking　so　much　about　myself　that　I　was　getting　impossible　again；　like　a　painter　and　I　was　my　own　picture。　It　was　awful。　Now　that　I'm　all　right　again　I　hope　it　still　lasts。〃


It　had　rained　hard　and　now　the　heat　was　broken。　They　were　in　the　cool　shutter…slatted　dimness　of　the　big　room　in　The　Palace　and　had　bathed　together　in　the　deep　water　in　the　long　deep　tub　and　then　had　turned　the　plug　and　let　the　full　force　of　the　water　splash　and　flow　over　them；　swirling　as　it　drained　away。　They　had　blotted　each　other　with　the　huge　towels　and　then　come　to　the　bed。　As　they　lay　on　the　bed　there　was　a　cool　breeze　that　came　through　the　slats　of　the　blinds　and　moved　over　them。　Catherine


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lay　propped　on　her　elbows　with　her　chin　on　her　hands。　〃Do　you　think　it　would　be　fun　if　I　went　back　to　being　a　boy　again？　It　wouldn't　be　any　trouble。〃
〃I　like　you　the　way　you　are　now。
〃It's　sort　of　tempting。　But　I　shouldn't　do　it　in　Spain　I　suppose。　It's　such　a　formal　country。〃
〃Stay　the　way　you　are。
'What　makes　your　voice　be　different　when　you　say　it？　I　think　I'll　do　it。〃
〃No。　Not　now。〃
〃Thank　you　for　the　not　now。　Should　I　make　love　this　time　as　a　girl　and　then　do　it？〃
〃You're　a　girl。　You　are　a　girl。　You're　my　lovely　girl　Catherine。〃
〃Yes　I　am　your　girl　and　I　love　you　and　I　love　you　and　I　love　you。
〃Don't　talk。〃
〃Yes　I　will。　I'm　your　girl　Catherine　and　I　love　you　please　I　love　you　always　always　always&mdash；〃
〃You　don't　have　to　keep　saying　it。　I　can　tell。〃
〃I　like　to　say　it　and　I　have　to　say　it　and　I've　been　a　fine　girl　and　a　good　girl　and　I　will　again。　I　promise　I　will　again。
〃You　don't　have　to　say　it。
〃Oh　yes　I　do。　I　say　it　and　I　said　it　and　you　said　it。　You　now　please。　Please　you。


They　lay　quiet　for　a　long　time　and　she　said；　〃I　love　you　so　much　and　you're　such　a　good　husband。〃
〃You　blessed。〃　'Was　I　what　you　wanted？〃　〃What　do　you　think？〃　〃I　hope　I　was。〃　〃You　were。〃


〃I　promised　truly　and　I　will　and　I'll　keep　it。　Now　can　I　be　a　boy　again？〃

〃Why？〃

〃Just　for　a　little　while。〃

〃Why？〃

〃I　loved　it　and　I　don't　miss　it　but　I'd　like　to　be　again　in　bed　at　night　if　it　isn't　bad　for　you。　Can　I　be　again？　If　it's　not　bad　for　you？〃

〃The　hell　with　if　it's　bad　for　me。〃

〃Then　can　I？〃

〃Do　you　really　want　to？〃

He　had　kept　from　saying　have　to　so　she　said；　〃I　don't　have　to　but　please　if　it's　all　right。　Can　I　please？〃

〃All　right。〃　He　kissed　her　and　held　her　to　him。

〃Nobody　can　tell　which　way　I　am　but　us。　I'll　only　be　a　boy　at　night　and　won't　embarrass　you。　Don't　worry　about　it　please。〃

〃All　right；　boy。〃

〃I　lied　when　I　said　I　didn't　have　to。　It　came　so　suddenly　today。〃　He　shut　his　eyes　and　did　not　think　and　she　kissed　him　and　it　had　gone　further　now　and　he　could　tell　and　feel　the　desperateness。

〃Now　you　change。　Please。　Don't　make　me　change　you。　Must　I？　All　right　I　will。　You're　changed　now。　You　are。　You　did　it　too。　You　are。　You　did　it　too。　I　did　it　to　you　but　you　did　it。　Yes　you　did。　You're　my　sweet　dearest　darling　Catherine。　You're　my　sweet　my　lovely　Catherine。　You're　my　girl　my　dearest　only　girl。　Oh　thank　you　thank　you　my　girl&