hemingway, ernest - garden of eden-第9章

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〃Yes；〃　she　said。　〃We　have　time　for　things。〃
〃Tell　me　where　you　got　so　dark；〃　the　Colonel　said。　〃Do　you　know　how　dark　you　are？〃
〃That　was　from　le　Grau　du　Roi　and　then　not　far　from　la　Napoule。　There　was　a　cove　there　with　a　trail　that　went　down　to　it　through　the　pines。　You　couldn't　see　it　from　the　road。〃
〃How　long　did　it　take　to　get　so　dark？〃
〃About　three　months。〃
〃And　what　are　you　going　to　do　with　it？〃
〃Wear　it；〃　she　said。　〃It's　very　becoming　in　bed。〃
〃I　shouldn't　think　you'd　want　to　waste　it　in　town。〃
〃'The　Prado　isn't　wasting。　I　don't　really　wear　it。　It's　me。　I　really　am　this　dark。　The　sun　just　develops　it。　I　wish　I　was　darker。〃
〃You　probably　will　be　then；〃　the　Colonel　said。　〃Do　you　have　other　things　like　that　to　look　forward　to？〃
〃Just　every　day；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I　look　forward　to　every　day。〃
〃And　has　today　been　a　good　one？〃
〃Yes。　You　know　it　has。　You　were　there。〃
〃Will　you　and　David　lunch　with　me？〃
〃All　right；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I'll　go　up　and　change。　Will　you　wait　for　me？〃
〃Don't　you　want　to　finish　your　drink？〃　David　asked。
〃I　don't　care　about　it；〃　she　said。　〃Don't　worry　about　me。　I　won't　be　shy。〃
She　walked　to　the　door　and　they　both　looked　after　her。　〃Was　I　too　rough？〃　the　Colonel　asked。　〃I　hope　not。　She's　a　very　lovely　girl。〃
〃I　just　hope　I'm　good　for　her。〃
〃You　are。　How　are　you　doing　yourself？〃
〃All　right　I　think。〃
〃Are　you　happy？〃
〃Very。〃
〃Remember　everything　is　right　until　it's　wrong。　You'll　know　when　it's　wrong。〃
〃You　think　so？〃
〃I'm　quite　sure。　If　you　don't　it　doesn't　matter。　Nothing　will　matter　then。〃
〃How　fast　will　it　go？〃
〃I　didn't　say　anything　about　speed。　What　are　you　talking　about？〃
〃Sorry。〃
〃It's　what　you　have；　so　have　a　lovely　time。〃　〃We　do。〃
〃So　I　see。　There's　only　one　thing。〃　〃What？〃
〃Take　good　care　of　her。〃　〃That's　all　you've　got　to　tell　me？〃
〃One　small　thing　more：　The　get's　no　good。〃
〃There　isn't　any　get　yet。〃
〃It's　kinder　to　shoot　the　get。〃
〃Kinder？〃
〃Better。
They　talked　about　people　for　a　while；　the　Colonel　speaking　outrageously；　and　then　David　saw　Catherine　come　through　the　door　wearing　a　white　sharkskin　outfit　to　show　how　really　dark　she　was。
〃You　do　really　look　extraordinarily　beautiful；〃　the　Colonel　said　to　Catherine。　〃But　you　must　try　to　get　darker。〃
〃Thank　you。　I　will；〃　she　said。　〃We　don't　have　to　go　out　now　in　the　heat　do　we？　Can't　we　sit　here　in　the　cool？　We　can　eat　here　in　the　grill。〃
〃You're　lunching　with　me；〃　the　Colonel　said。


〃No　please。　You're　lunching　with　us。〃

David　stood　up　uncertainly。　There　were　more　people　at　the　bar　now。　Looking　down　at　the　table　he　saw　that　he　had　drunk　Catherine's　drink　as　well　as　his　own。　He　did　not　remember　drinking　either　of　them。


It　was　the　siesta　time　and　they　lay　on　the　bed　and　David　was　reading　by　the　light　that　came　in　the　window　on　the　left　of　the　bed　where　he　had　pulled　up　one　of　the　slatted　curtains　about　a　third　of　its　length。　The　light　was　reflected　from　the　building　across　the　street。　The　curtain　was　not　pulled　high　enough　to　show　the　sky。

〃The　Colonel　liked　me　being　so　dark；〃　Catherine　said。　〃We　must　get　to　the　sea　again。　I　have　to　keep　it。〃

〃We'll　go　there　whenever　you　want。〃

〃That　will　be　wonderful。　Can　I　tell　you　something？　I　have　to。〃

〃What？〃

〃I　didn't　change　back　to　be　a　girl　for　lunch。　Did　I　behave　all　right？〃

〃You　didn't？〃

〃No。　Do　you　mind？　But　now　I'm　your　boy　and　I'll　do　anything　for　you。〃

David　continued　reading。

〃Are　you　angry？〃

〃No。〃　Sobered；　he　thought。

〃It's　simpler　now。〃

〃I　don't　think　so。〃

〃Then　I'll　be　careful。　This　morning　everything　I　did　felt　so　right　and　happy；　so　clean　and　good　in　the　daylight。　Couldn't　I　try　now　and　we　see？〃

〃I'd　rather　you　didn't。〃

〃Can　I　kiss　you　and　try？〃

〃Not　if　you're　a　boy　and　I'm　a　boy。〃

His　chest　felt　as　though　there　were　an　iron　bar　inside　it　from　one　side　to　the　other。　〃I　wish　you　hadn't　told　the　Colonel。〃

〃But　he　saw　me；　David。　He　brought　it　up　and　he　knew　all　about　it　and　understood。　It　wasn't　stupid　to　tell　him。　It　was　better。　He's　our　friend。　If　I　told　him　he　wouldn't　talk。　If　I　didn't　tell　him　he　had　a　right　to。〃

〃You　can't　trust　all　people　like　that。〃

〃I　don't　care　about　people。　I　only　care　about　you。　I'd　never　make　scandals　with　other　people。〃

〃My　chest　feels　like　it　is　locked　in　iron。

〃I'm　sorry。　Mine　feels　so　happy。〃

〃My　dearest　Catherine。〃

〃That's　good。　You　call　me　Catherine　always　when　you　want。　I　am　your　Catherine　too。　I'm　always　Catherine　when　you　need　her。　We'd　better　go　to　sleep　or　should　we　start　and　see　what　happens？〃

〃Let's　first　lie　very　quiet　in　the　dark；〃　David　said　and　lowered　the　latticed　shade　and　they　lay　side　by　side　on　the　bed　in　the　big　room　in　The　Palace　in　Madrid　where　Catherine　had　walked　in　the　Museo　del　Prado　in　the　light　of　day　as　a　boy　and　now　she　would　show　the　dark　things　in　the　light　and　there　would；　it　seemed　to　him；　be　no　end　to　the　change。


Chapter　Eight




IN　THE　BUEN　RETIRO　in　the　morning　it　was　as　fresh　as　though　it　was　a　forest。　It　was　green　and　the　trunks　of　the　trees　were　dark　and　the　distances　were　all　new。　The　lake　was　not　where　it　had　been　and　when　they　saw　it　through　the　trees　it　was　quite　changed。
〃You　walk　ahead；〃　she　said。　〃I　want　to　look　at　you。
So　he　turned　away　from　her　and　walked　to　where　there　was　a　bench　and　sat　down。　He　could　see　a　lake　at　a　long　distance　and　knew　it　was　too　far　to　ever　walk　to。　He　sat　there　on　the　bench　and　she　sat　down　beside　him　and　said；　〃It's　all　right。〃
But　remorse　had　been　there　to　meet　him　in　the　Retiro　and　now　it　was　so　bad　he　told　Catherine　that　he　would　meet　her　at　the　cafe　of　The　Palace。
〃Are　you　all　right？　Do　you　want　me　to　come　with　you？〃
〃No。　I'm　all　right。　I　just　have　to　go。
〃I'll　see　you　there；〃　she　said。
She　looked　particularly　beautiful　that　morning　and　she　smiled　at　their　secret　and　he　smiled　at　her　and　then　took　his　remorse　to　the　cafe。　He　did　not　think　he　would　make　it　but　he　did　and
later　when　Catherine　came　he　was　finishing　his　second　absinthe　and　the　remorse　was　gone。
〃How　are　you；　Devil？〃　he　said。
〃I'm　your　devil；〃　she　said。　〃Could　I　have　one　of　those　too？〃　The　waiter　went　away　pleased　to　see　her　looking　so　handsome　and　so　happy　and　she　said；　〃What　was　it？〃
〃I　just　felt　rotten　but　I　feel　fine　now。〃
〃Was　it　that　bad？〃
〃No；〃　he　lied。
She　shook　her　head。　〃I'm　so　sorry。　I　hoped　there　wouldn't　be　any　bad　at　all。〃
〃It　went　away。
〃That's　good。　Isn't　it　lovely　to　be　here　in　the　summer　and　no　one　here？　I　thought　of　something。〃
〃Already？〃
〃We　can　stay　on　and　not　go　to　the　sea。　This　is　ours　now。　The　town　and　here。　We　could　stay　here　and　then　drive　back　straight　through　to　la　Napoule。〃
〃There　aren't　many　more　moves　to　make。〃
〃Don't。　We've　only　just　started。〃
〃Yes　。　。　。　we　can　always　go　back　where　we　started。〃
〃Of　course　we　can　and　we　will。〃
〃Let's　not　talk　about　it；〃　he　said。
He　had　felt　it　start　to　come　back　and　he　took　a　long　sip　of　his　drink。
〃It's　a　very　strange　thing；〃　he　said。　〃This　drink　tastes　exactly　like　remorse。　It　has　the　true　taste　of　it　and　yet　it　takes　it　away。〃
〃I　don't　like　you　to　have　to　take　it　for　that。　We　aren't　like　that。　We　mustn't　be。〃
〃Maybe　I　am。〃
〃You　mustn't　be。〃　She　took　a　long　sip　out　of　her　glass　and　another　long　sip　and　looked　around　and　then　at　him。　〃I　can　do　it。　Look　at　me　and　watch　it　happen。　Here　in　the　outdoor　cafe　of


The　Palace　in　Madrid　and　you　can　see　the　Prado　and　the　street　and　the　sprinklers　under　the　trees　so　it's　real。　It's　awfully　brusque。　But　I　can　do　it。　You　can　see。　Look。　The　lips　are　your　girl　again　and　I'm　all　the　things　you　really　want。　Haven't　I　done　it？　Tell　me。

〃You　didn't　have　to。〃

〃Do　you　like　me　as　a　girl；〃　she　said　very　seriously　and　then　smiled。

〃Yes；〃　he　said。

〃That's　good；〃　she　said。　〃I'm　glad　someone　likes　it　because　it's　a　god　damned　bore。〃

〃Don't　do　it　then。〃

〃Didn't　you　hear　me　say　I　did　it？　Didn't　you　watch　me　do　it？　Do　you　want　me　to　wrench　myself　around　and　tear　myself　in　two　because　you　can't　make　up　your　mind？　Because　you　won't　stay　with　anything？〃

〃Would　you　hold　it　down？〃

〃Why　should　I　hold　it　down？　You　want　a　girl　don't　you？　Don't　you　want　everything　that　goes　with　it？　Scenes；　hysteria；　false　accusations；　temperament　isn't　that　it？　I'm　holding　it　down。　I　won't　make　you　uncomfortable　in　front　of　the　waiter。　I　won't　make　the　waiter　uncomfortable。　I'll　read　my　damned　mail。　Can　we　send　up　and　get　my　mail？〃

〃I'll　go　up　and　get　it。〃

〃No。　I　shouldn't　be　here　by　myself。〃

〃That's　right；〃　he　said。

〃You　see？　That　was　why　I　said　to　send　for　it。〃

〃They　wouldn't　give　a　hotones　the　key　to　the　room。　That　was　why　I　said　I'd　go。〃

〃I'm　over　it；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I'm　not　going　to　act　that　way。　Why　should　I　act　that　way　to　you？　It　was　ludicrous　and　un　dignified。　It　was　so　silly　I　won't　even　ask　you　to　forgive　me。　Besides　I　have　to　go　up　to　the　room　anyway。
〃Now？〃
〃Because　I'm　a　god　damned　woman。　I　thought　if　I'd　be　a　girl　and　stay　a　girl　I'd　have　a　baby　at　least。　Not　even　that。〃
'That　could　be　my　fault。〃
〃Don't　let's　ever　talk　about　faults。　You　stay　here　and　I'll　bring　back　the　mail。　We'll　read　our　mail　and　be　nice　good　intelligent　American　tourists　who　are　disappointed　because　they　came　to　Madrid　at　the　wrong　time　of　year。〃
At　lunch　Catherine　said；　〃We'll　go　back　to　Ia　Napoule。　There　is　no　one　there　and　we'll　be　quiet　and　good　and　work　and　take　care　of　each　other。　We　can　drive　to　Aix　too　and　see　all　the　Cezanne　country。　We　didn't　stay　there　long　enough　before。〃
〃We'll　have　a　lovely　time。〃
〃It　isn't　too　soon　for　you　to　start　to　work　again　is　it？〃
〃No。　It　would　be　good　to　start　now。　I'm　sure。
〃That　will　be　wonderful　and　I'll　study　Spanish　really　for　when　we　come　back。　And　I　have　so　much　I　have　to　read。〃
〃We　have　lots　to　do。〃
'We'll　do　it　too。〃


70　7'
Chapter　Nine





THE　NEW　PLAN　lasted　a　little　more　than　a　month。　They　had　three　rooms　at　the　end　of　the　long　low　rose…colored　Provencal　house　where　they　had　stayed　before。　It　was　in　the　pines　on　the　Esterel　side　of　la　Napoule。　Out　of　the　windows　there　was　the　sea　and　from　the　garden　in　front　of　the　long　house　where　they　ate　under　the　trees　they　could　see　the　empty　beaches；　the　high　papyrus　grass　at　the　delta　of　the　small　river　and　across　the　bay　was　the　white　curve　of　Cannes　with　the　hills　and　the　far　moun　tains　behind。　There　was　no　one　staying　at　the　long　house　now　in　summer　and　the　proprietor　and　his　wife　were　pleased　to　have　them　back。

Their　bedroom　was　the　big　room　at　the　end。　It　had　windows　on　three　sides　and　was　cool　that　summer。　At　night　they　smelled　the　pines　and　the　sea。　David　worked　in　a　room　at　the　further　end。　He　started　early　each　morning　and　when　he　was　finished　he　would　find　Catherine　and　they　would　go　to　a　cove　in　the　rocks　where　there　was　a　sand　beach　to　sun　and　to　swim。　Sometimes　Catherine　was　gone　with　the　car　and　he　would　wait　for　her　and


have　a　drink　out　on　the　terrace　after　his　work。　It　was　impossible　to　drink　pastis　after　absinthe　and　he　had　taken　to　drinking　whiskey　and　Perrier　water。　This　pleased　the　proprietor；　who　was　now　doing　a　good　defensive　summer　business　with　the　presence　of　the　two　Bournes　in　the　dead　summer　season。　He　had　not　hired　a　cook　and　his　wife　was　doing　the　cooking。　One　maid　servant　looked　after　the　rooms　and　a　nephew；　who　was　an　apprentice　waiter；　ser