helen of troy and other poems-第2章
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The times they wake and sleep; for life burns down;
They breathe the calm of death before they die。
The long night ends; the day comes creeping in;
Showing the sorrows that the darkness hid;
The bended head of Christ; the blood; the thorns;
The wall's gray stains of damp; the pallet bed
Where little Sister Marta dreams of saints;
Waking with arms outstretched imploringly
That seek to stay a vision's vanishing。
I never had a vision; yet for me
Our Lady smiled while all the convent slept
One winter midnight hushed around with snow
I thought she might be kinder than the rest;
And so I came to kneel before her feet;
Sick with love's sorrow and love's bitterness。
But when I would have made the blessed sign;
I found the water frozen in the font;
And touched but ice within the carved stone。
The saints had hid themselves away from me;
Leaving the windows black against the night;
And when I sank upon the altar steps;
Before the Virgin Mother and her Child;
The last; pale; low…burnt taper flickered out;
But in the darkness; smooth and fathomless;
Still twinkled like a star the holy lamp
That cast a dusky glow upon her face。
Then through the numbing cold peace fell on me;
Submission and the gracious gift of tears;
For when I looked; Oh! blessed miracle;
Her lips had parted and Our Lady smiled!
And then I knew that Love is worth its pain
And that my heart was richer for his sake;
Since lack of love is bitterest of all。
The day is broad awake the first long beam
Of level sun finds Sister Marta's face;
And trembling there it lights a timid smile
Upon the lips that say so many prayers;
And have no words for hate and none for love。
But when she passes where her prayers have gone;
Will God not smile a little sadly then;
And send her back with gentle words to earth
That she may hold a child against her breast
And feel its little hands upon her hair?
We weep before the Blessed Mother's shrine;
To think upon her sorrows; but her joys
What nun could ever know a tithing of?
The precious hours she watched above His sleep
Were worth the fearful anguish of the end。
Yea; lack of love is bitterest of all;
Yet I have felt what thing it is to know
One thought forever; sleeping or awake;
To say one name whose sweetness grows so strange
That it might work a spell on those who weep;
To feel the weight of love upon my heart
So heavy that the blood can scarcely flow。
Love comes to some unlooked…for; quietly;
As when at twilight; with a soft surprise;
We see the new…born crescent in the blue;
And unto others love is planet…like;
A cold and placid gleam that wavers not;
And there are those who wait the call of love
Expectant of his coming; as we watch
To see the east grow pallid ere the moon
Lifts up her flower…like head against the night。
Love came to me as comes a cruel sun;
That on some rain…drenched morning; when the leaves
Are bowed beneath their clinging weight of drops;
Tears through the mist; and burns with fervent heat
The tender grasses and the meadow flowers;
Then suddenly the heavy clouds close in
And through the dark the thunder's muttering
Is drowned amid the dashing of the rain。
But I have seen my day grow calm again。
The sun sets slowly on a peaceful world;
And sheds a quiet light across the fields。
Guenevere
I was a queen; and I have lost my crown;
A wife; and I have broken all my vows;
A lover; and I ruined him I loved:
There is no other havoc left to do。
A little month ago I was a queen;
And mothers held their babies up to see
When I came riding out of Camelot。
The women smiled; and all the world smiled too。
And now; what woman's eyes would smile on me?
I still am beautiful; and yet what child
Would think of me as some high; heaven…sent thing;
An angel; clad in gold and miniver?
The world would run from me; and yet am I
No different from the queen they used to love。
If water; flowing silver over stones;
Is forded; and beneath the horses' feet
Grows turbid suddenly; it clears again;
And men will drink it with no thought of harm。
Yet I am branded for a single fault。
I was the flower amid a toiling world;
Where people smiled to see one happy thing;
And they were proud and glad to raise me high;
They only asked that I should be right fair;
A little kind; and gowned wondrously;
And surely it were little praise to me
If I had pleased them well throughout my life。
I was a queen; the daughter of a king。
The crown was never heavy on my head;
It was my right; and was a part of me。
The women thought me proud; the men were kind;
And bowed right gallantly to kiss my hand;
And watched me as I passed them calmly by;
Along the halls I shall not tread again。
What if; to…night; I should revisit them?
The warders at the gates; the kitchen…maids;
The very beggars would stand off from me;
And I; their queen; would climb the stairs alone;
Pass through the banquet…hall; a loathed thing;
And seek my chambers for a hiding…place;
And I should find them but a sepulchre;
The very rushes rotted on the floors;
The fire in ashes on the freezing hearth。
I was a queen; and he who loved me best
Made me a woman for a night and day;
And now I go unqueened forevermore。
A queen should never dream on summer eves;
When hovering spells are heavy in the dusk:
I think no night was ever quite so still;
So smoothly lit with red along the west;
So deeply hushed with quiet through and through。
And strangely clear; and deeply dyed with light;
The trees stood straight against a paling sky;
With Venus burning lamp…like in the west。
I walked alone amid a thousand flowers;
That drooped their heads and drowsed beneath the dew;
And all my thoughts were quieted to sleep。
Behind me; on the walk; I heard a step
I did not know my heart could tell his tread;
I did not know I loved him till that hour。
Within my breast I felt a wild; sick pain;
The garden reeled a little; I was weak;
And quick he came behind me; caught my arms;
That ached beneath his touch; and then I swayed;
My head fell backward and I saw his face。
All this grows bitter that was once so sweet;
And many mouths must drain the dregs of it。
But none will pity me; nor pity him
Whom Love so lashed; and with such cruel thongs。
Erinna
They sent you in to say farewell to me;
No; do not shake your head; I see your eyes
That shine with tears。 Sappho; you saw the sun
Just now when you came hither; and again;
When you have left me; all the shimmering
Great meadows will laugh lightly; and the sun
Put round about you warm invisible arms
As might a lover; decking you with light。
I go toward darkness tho' I lie so still。
If I could see the sun; I should look up
And drink the light until my eyes were blind;
I should kneel down and kiss the blades of grass;
And I should call the birds with such a voice;
With such a longing; tremulous and keen;
That they would fly to me and on the breast
Bear evermore to tree…tops and to fields
The kiss I gave them。 Sappho; tell me this;
Was I not sometimes fair? My eyes; my mouth;
My hair that loved the wind; were they not worth
The breath of love upon them? Yet he passed;
And he will pass to…night when all the air
Is blue with twilight; but I shall not see。
I shall have gone forever。 Hold my hands;
Hold fast that Death may never come between;
Swear by the gods you will not let me go;
Make songs for Death as you would sing to Love
But you will not assuage him。 He alone
Of all the gods will take no gifts from men。
I am afraid; afraid。
Sappho; lean down。
Last night the fever gave a dream to me;
It takes my life and gives a little dream。
I thought I saw him stand; the man I love;
Here in my quiet chamber; with his eyes
Fixed on me as I entered; while he drew
Silently toward me he who night by night
Goes by my door without a thought of me
Neared me and put his hand behind my head;
And leaning toward me; kissed me on the mouth。
That was a little dream for Death to give;
Too short to take the whole of life for; yet
I woke with lips made quiet by a kiss。
The dream is worth the dying。 Do not smile
So sadly on me with your shining eyes;
You who can set your sorrow to a song
And ease your hurt by singing。 But to me
My songs are less than sea…sand that the wind
Drives stinging over me and bears away。
I have no care what place the grains may fall;
Nor of my songs; if Time shall blow them back;
As land…wind breaks the lines of dying foam
Along the bright wet beaches; scattering
The flakes once more against the laboring sea;
Into oblivion。 What care have I
To please Apollo since Love hearkens not?
Your words will live forever; men will say
〃She was the perfect lover〃 I shall die;
I loved too much to live。 Go Sappho; go
I hate your hands that beat so full of life;
Go; lest my hatred hurt you。 I shall die;
But you will live to love and love again。
He might have loved some other spring than this;
I should have kept my life I let it go。
He would not love me now tho' Cypris bound
Her girdle round me。 I am Death's; not Love's。
Go from me; Sappho; back to find the sun。
I am alone; alone。 O Cyprian 。 。 。
Love Songs
Song
You bound strong sandals on my feet;
You gave me bread and wine;
And bade me out; 'neath sun and stars;
For all the world was mine。
Oh take the sandals off my feet;
You know not what you do;
For all my world is in your arms;
My sun and stars are you。
The Rose and the Bee
If I were a bee and you were a rose;
Would you let me in when the gray wind blows?
Would you hold your petals wide apart;
Would you let me in to find your heart;
If you were a rose?
〃If I were a rose and you were a bee;
You should never go when you came to me;
I should hold my love on my heart at last;
I should close my leaves and keep you fast;
If you were a bee。〃
The Song Maker
I made a hundred little songs
That told the joy and pain of love;
And sang them blithely; tho' I knew
No whit thereof。
I was a weaver deaf and blind;
A miracle was wrought for me;
But I have lost my skill to weave
Since I can see。
For while I sang ah swift and strange!
Love passed and touched me on the brow;
And I who made so many songs
Am silent now。
Wild Asters
In the spring I asked the daisies
If his words were true;
And the clever little daisies
Always knew。
Now the fields are brown and barren;
Bitter autumn blows;
And of all the stupid asters
Not one knows。
When Love Goes
I