michael, brother of jerry-第16章

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　　One　is　not　dead。　　Nor　is　one　alive。　One　is　what　once　was　alive　and　is　in　process　of　becoming　dead。　Lepers　are　treated　that　way。　　So　are　the　insane。　　I　know　it。　　When　I　was　young　and　on　the　sea；　a　brother…lieutenant　went　mad。　Sometimes　he　was　violent；　and　we　struggled　with　him；　twisting　his　arms；　bruising　his　flesh；　tying　him　helpless　while　we　sat　and　panted　on　him　that　he　might　not　do　harm　to　us；　himself；　or　the　ship。　　And　he；　who　still　lived；　died　to　us。　　Don't　you　understand？　He　was　no　longer　of　us；　like　us。　　He　was　something　other。　　That　is　itOTHER。　　And　so；　in　the　poor…farm；　we；　who　are　yet　unburied；　are　OTHER。　　You　have　heard　me　chatter　about　the　hell　of　the　longboat。　　That　is　a　pleasant　diversion　in　life　compared　with　the　poor…farm。　　The　food；　the　filth；　the　abuse；　the　bullying；　thethe　sheer　animalness　of　it！

〃For　two　years　I　worked　for　a　dollar　and　a　half　a　week　in　the　laundry。　　And　imagine　me；　who　had　melted　a　silver　spoon　in　my　moutha　sizable　silver　spoon　stewardimagine　me；　my　old　sore　bones；　my　old　belly　reminiscent　of　youth's　delights；　my　old　palate　ticklish　yet　and　not　all　withered　of　the　deviltries　of　taste　learned　in　younger　daysas　I　say；　steward；　imagine　me；　who　had　ever　been　free…handed；　lavish；　saving　that　dollar　and　a　half　intact　like　a　miser；　never　spending　a　penny　of　it　on　tobacco；　never　mitigating　by　purchase　of　any　little　delicacy　the　sad　condition　of　my　stomach　that　protested　against　the　harshness　and　indigestibility　of　our　poor　fare。　　I　cadged　tobacco；　poor　cheap　tobacco；　from　poor　doddering　old　chaps　trembling　on　the　edge　of　dissolution。　　Ay；　and　when　Samuel　Merrivale　I　found　dead　in　the　morning；　next　cot　to　mine；　I　first　rummaged　his　poor　old　trousers'　pocket　for　the　half…plug　of　tobacco　I　knew　was　the　total　estate　he　left；　then　announced　the　news。

〃Oh；　steward；　I　was　careful　of　that　dollar　and　a　half。　　Don't　you　see？I　was　a　prisoner　sawing　my　way　out　with　a　tiny　steel　saw。　And　I　sawed　out！〃　　His　voice　rose　in　a　shrill　cackle　of　triumph。　〃Steward；　I　sawed　out！〃

Dag　Daughtry　held　forth　and　up　his　beer…bottle　as　he　said　gravely　and　sincerely：

〃Sir；　I　salute　you。〃

〃And　I　thank　you；　siryou　understand；〃　the　Ancient　Mariner　replied　with　simple　dignity　to　the　toast；　touching　his　glass　to　the　bottle　and　drinking　with　the　steward　eyes　to　eyes。

〃I　should　have　had　one　hundred　and　fifty…six　dollars　when　I　left　the　poor…farm；〃　the　ancient　one　continued。　　〃But　there　were　the　two　weeks　I　lost；　with　influenza；　and　the　one　week　from　a　confounded　pleurisy；　so　that　I　emerged　from　that　place　of　the　living　dead　with　but　one　hundred　and　fifty…one　dollars　and　fifty　cents。〃

〃I　see；　sir；〃　Daughtry　interrupted　with　honest　admiration。　　〃The　tiny　saw　had　become　a　crow…bar；　and　with　it　you　were　going　back　to　break　into　life　again。〃

All　the　scarred　face　and　washed　eyes　of　Charles　Stough　Greenleaf　beamed　as　he　held　his　glass　up。

〃Steward；　I　salute　you。　　You　understand。　　And　you　have　said　it　well。　　I　was　going　back　to　break　into　the　house　of　life。　　It　was　a　crowbar；　that　pitiful　sum　of　money　accumulated　by　two　years　of　crucifixion。　　Think　of　it！　　A　sum　that　in　the　days　ere　the　silver　spoon　had　melted；　I　staked　in　careless　moods　of　an　instant　on　a　turn　of　the　cards。　　But　as　you　say；　a　burglar；　I　came　back　to　break　into　life；　and　I　came　to　Boston。　　You　have　a　fine　turn　for　a　figure　of　speech；　steward；　and　I　salute　you。〃

Again　bottle　and　glass　tinkled　together；　and　both　men　drank　eyes　to　eyes　and　each　was　aware　that　the　eyes　he　gazed　into　were　honest　and　understanding。

〃But　it　was　a　thin　crow…bar；　steward。　　I　dared　not　put　my　weight　on　it　for　a　proper　pry。　　I　took　a　room　in　a　small　but　respectable　hotel；　European　plan。　　It　was　in　Boston；　I　think　I　said。　　Oh；　how　careful　I　was　of　my　crowbar！　　I　scarcely　ate　enough　to　keep　my　frame　inhabited。　　But　I　bought　drinks　for　others；　most　carefully　selectedbought　drinks　with　an　air　of　prosperity　that　was　as　a　credential　to　my　story；　and　in　my　cups　（my　apparent　cups；　steward）；　spun　an　old　man's　yarn　of　the　Wide　Awake；　the　longboat；　the　bearings　unnamable；　and　the　treasure　under　the　sand。A　fathom　under　the　sand；　that　was　literary；　it　was　psychological；　it　smacked　of　the　salt　sea；　and　daring　rovers；　and　the　loot　of　the　Spanish　Main。

〃You　have　noticed　this　nugget　I　wear　on　my　watch…chain；　steward？　I　could　not　afford　it　at　that　time；　but　I　talked　golden　instead；　California　gold；　nuggets　and　nuggets；　oodles　and　oodles；　from　the　diggings　of　forty…nine　and　fifty。　　That　was　literary。　　That　was　colour。　　Later；　after　my　first　voyage　out　of　Boston　I　was　financially　able　to　buy　a　nugget。　　It　was　so　much　bait　to　which　men　rose　like　fishes。　　And　like　fishes　they　nibbled。　　These　rings；　alsobait。　　You　never　see　such　rings　now。　　After　I　got　in　funds；　I　purchased　them；　too。　　Take　this　nugget：　　I　am　talking。　　I　toy　with　it　absently　as　I　am　telling　of　the　great　gold　treasure　we　buried　under　the　sand。　　Suddenly　the　nugget　flashes　fresh　recollection　into　my　mind。　　I　speak　of　the　longboat；　of　our　thirst　and　hunger；　and　of　the　third　officer；　the　fair　lad　with　cheeks　virgin　of　the　razor；　and　that　he　it　was　who　used　it　as　a　sinker　when　we　strove　to　catch　fish。

〃But　back　in　Boston。　　Yarns　and　yarns；　when　seemingly　I　was　gone　in　drink；　I　told　my　apparent　croniesmen　whom　I　despised；　stupid　dolts　of　creatures　that　they　were。　　But　the　word　spread；　until　one　day；　a　young　man；　a　reporter；　tried　to　interview　me　about　the　treasure　and　the　Wide　Awake。　　I　was　indignant；　angry。Oh；　softly；　steward；　softly；　in　my　heart　was　great　joy　as　I　denied　that　young　reporter；　knowing　that　from　my　cronies　he　already　had　a　sufficiency　of　the　details。

〃And　the　morning　paper　gave　two　whole　columns　and　headlines　to　the　tale。　　I　began　to　have　callers。　　I　studied　them　out　well。　　Many　were　for　adventuring　after　the　treasure　who　themselves　had　no　money。　　I　baffled　and　avoided　them；　and　waited　on；　eating　even　less　as　my　little　capital　dwindled　away。

〃And　then　he　came；　my　gay　young　doctordoctor　of　philosophy　he　was；　for　he　was　very　wealthy。　　My　heart　sang　when　I　saw　him。　　But　twenty…eight　dollars　remained　to　meafter　it　was　gone；　the　poor…　house；　or　death。　　I　had　already　resolved　upon　death　as　my　choice　rather　than　go　back　to　be　of　that　dolorous　company；　the　living　dead　of　the　poor…farm。　　But　I　did　not　go　back；　nor　did　I　die。　　The　gay　young　doctor's　blood　ran　warm　at　thought　of　the　South　Seas；　and　in　his　nostrils　I　distilled　all　the　scents　of　the　flower…　drenched　air　of　that　far…off　land；　and　in　his　eyes　I　builded　him　the　fairy　visions　of　the　tradewind　clouds；　the　monsoon　skies；　the　palm　isles　and　the　coral　seas。

〃He　was　a　gay；　mad　young　dog；　grandly　careless　of　his　largess；　fearless　as　a　lion's　whelp；　lithe　and　beautiful　as　a　leopard；　and　mad；　a　trifle　mad　of　the　deviltries　and　whimsies　that　tickled　in　that　fine　brain　of　his。　　Look　you；　steward。　　Before　we　sailed　in　the　Gloucester　fishing…schooner；　purchased　by　the　doctor；　and　that　was　like　a　yacht　and　showed　her　heels　to　most　yachts；　he　had　me　to　his　house　to　advise　about　personal　equipment。　　We　were　overhauling　in　a　gear…room；　when　suddenly　he　spoke：

〃'I　wonder　how　my　lady　will　take　my　long　absence。　　What　say　you？　Shall　she　go　along？'

〃And　I　had　not　known　that　he　had　any　wife　or　lady。　　And　I　looked　my　surprise　and　incredulity。

〃'Just　that　you　do　not　believe　I　shall　take　her　on　the　cruise；'　he　laughed；　wickedly；　madly；　in　my　astonished　face。　　'Come；　you　shall　meet　her。'

〃Straight　to　his　bedroom　and　his　bed　he　led　me；　and；　turning　down　the　covers；　showed　there　to　me；　asleep　as　she　had　slept　for　many　a　thousand　years；　the　mummy　of　a　slender　Egyptian　maid。

〃And　she　sailed　with　us　on　the　long　vain　voyage　to　the　South　Seas　and　back　again；　and；　steward；　on　my　honour；　I　grew　quite　fond　of　the　dear　maid　myself。

The　Ancient　Mariner　gazed　dreamily　into　his　glass；　and　Dag　Daughtry　took　advantage　of　the　pause　to　ask：

〃But　the　young　doctor？　　How　did　he　take　the　failure　to　find　the　treasure？〃

The　Ancient　Mariner's　face　lighted　with　joy。

〃He　called　me　a　delectable　old　fraud；　with　his　arm　on　my　shoulder　while　he　did　it。　　Why；　steward；　I　had　come　to　love　that　young　man　like　a　splendid　son。　　And　with　his　arm　on　my　shoulder；　and　I　know　there　was　more　than　mere　kindness　in　it；　he　told　me　we　had　barely　reached　the　River　Plate　when　he　discovered　me。　　With　laughter；　and　with　more　than　one　slap　of　his　hand　on　my　shoulder　that　was　more　caress　than　jollity；　he　pointed　out　the　discrepancies　in　my　tale　（which　I　have　since　amended；　steward；　thanks　to　him；　and　amended　well）；　and　told　me　that　the　voyage　had　been　a　grand　success；　making　him　eternally　my　debtor。

〃What　could　I　do？　　I　told　him　the　truth。　　To　him　even　did　I　tell　my　family　name；　and　the　shame　I　had　saved　it　from　by　forswearing　it。

〃He　put　his　arm　on　my　shoulder；　I　tell　you；　and　。　。　。　〃

The　Ancient　Mariner　ceased　talking　because　of　a　huskiness　in　his　throat；　and　a　moisture　from　his　eyes　trickled　down　both　cheeks。

Dag　Daughtry　pledged　him　silently；　and　in　the　draught　from　his　glass　he　recovered　himself。

〃He　told　me　that　I　should　come　and　live　with　him；　and；　to　his　great　lonely　house　he　took　me　the　very　day　we　landed　in　Boston。　Also；　he　told　me　he　would　make　arrangements　with　his　lawyersthe　idea　tickled　his　fancy'I　shall　adopt　you；'　he　said。　　'I　shall　adopt　you　along　with　Isthar'Isthar　was　the　little　maid's　name；　the　little　mummy's　name。

〃Here　was　I；　back　in　life；　steward；　and　legally　to　be　adopted。　But　life　is　a　fond　betrayer。　　Eighteen　hours　afterward；　in　the　morning；　we　found　him　dead　in　his　bed；　the　little　mummy　maid　beside　him。　　Heart…failure；　the　burst　of　some　blood…vessel　in　the　brainI　never　learned。

〃I　prayed　and　pleaded　with　them　for　the　pair　to　be　buried　together。　　But　they　were　a　hard；　cold；　New　England　lot；　his　cousins　and　his　aunts；　and　they　presented　Isthar　to　the　museum；　and　me　they　gave　a　week　to　be　quit　of　the　house。　　I　left　in　an　hour；　and　they　searched　my　small　baggage　before　they　would　let　me　depart。

〃I　went　to　New　York。　　It　was　the　same　game　there；　only　that　I　had　more　money　and　could　play　it　properly。　　It　was　the　same　in　New　Orleans；　in　Galveston。　　I　came　to　California。　　This　is　my　fifth　voyage。　　I　had　a　hard　time　getting　these　three　interested；　and　spent　all　my　little　store　of　money　before　they　signed　the　agreement。　　They　were　very　mean。　　Advance　any　money　to　me！　　The　very　idea　of　it　was　preposterous。　　Though　I　bided　my　time；　ran　up　a　comfortable　hotel　bill；　and；　at　the　very　last；　ordered　my　own　generous　assortment　of　liquors　and　cigars　and　charged　the　bill　to　the　schooner。　　Such　a　to…do！　　All　three　of　them　raged　and　all　but　tore　their　hair　。　。　。　and　mime。　　They　said　it　could　not　be。　　I　fell　promptly　sick。　　I　told　them　they　got　on　my　nerves　and　made　me　sick。　　The　more　they　raged；　the　sicker　I　got。　　Then　they　gave　in。　As　promptly　I　grew　better。　　And　here　we　are；　out　of　water　and　heading　soon　most　likely　for　the　Marquesas　to　fill　our　barrels。　Then　they　will　return　and　try　for　it　again！〃

〃You　think　so；　sir？〃

〃I　shall　remember　even　more　important　data；　steward；〃　the　Ancient　Mariner　smiled。　　〃Without　doubt　they　will　return。　　Oh；　I　know　them　well。　　They　are　meagre；　narrow；　grasping　fools。〃

〃Fools！　all　fools！　a　ship　of　fools！〃　Dag　Daughtry　exulted；　repeating　what　he　had　expre