a treatise on parents and children(父母与子女专题研究)-第16章
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afraid to take a walk in the streets unattended and unprotected。 It is true
that this is a superstition from the time when a retinue was part of the state
of persons of quality； and the unattended person was supposed to be a
common person of no quality； earning a living； but this has now become
so absurd that children and young women are no longer told why they are
forbidden to go about alone； and have to be persuaded that the streets are
dangerous places； which of course they are； but people who are not
educated to live dangerously have only half a life； and are more likely to
die miserably after all than those who have taken all the common risks of
freedom from their childhood onward as matters of course。
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The Conflict of Wills The world wags in spite of its schools and its
families because both schools and families are mostly very largely
anarchic： parents and schoolmasters are good…natured or weak or lazy；
and children are docile and affectionate and very shortwinded in their fits
of naughtiness； and so most families slummock along and muddle through
until the children cease to be children。 In the few cases when the parties
are energetic and determined； the child is crushed or the parent is reduced
to a cipher； as the case may be。 When the opposed forces are neither of
them strong enough to annihilate the other； there is serious trouble： that
is how we get those feuds between parent and child which recur to our
memory so ironically when we hear people sentimentalizing about natural
affection。 We even get tragedies； for there is nothing so tragic to
contemplate or so devastating to suffer as the oppression of will without
conscience； and the whole tendency of our family and school system is to
set the will of the parent and the school despot above conscience as
something that must be deferred to abjectly and absolutely for its own
sake。
The strongest； fiercest force in nature is human will。 It is the highest
organization we know of the will that has created the whole universe。
Now all honest civilization； religion； law； and convention is an attempt to
keep this force within beneficent bounds。 What corrupts civilization；
religion； law； and convention （and they are at present pretty nearly as
corrupt as they dare） is the constant attempts made by the wills of
individuals and classes to thwart the wills and enslave the powers of other
individuals and classes。 The powers of the parent and the schoolmaster；
and of their public analogues the lawgiver and the judge； become
instruments of tyranny in the hands of those who are too narrow…minded to
understand law and exercise judgment； and in their hands （with us they
mostly fall into such hands） law becomes tyranny。 And what is a tyrant？
Quite simply a person who says to another person； young or old； 〃You
shall do as I tell you； you shall make what I want； you shall profess my
creed； you shall have no will of your own； and your powers shall be at the
disposal of my will。〃 It has come to this at last： that the phrase 〃she has
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A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
a will of her own；〃 or 〃he has a will of his own〃 has come to denote a
person of exceptional obstinacy and self…assertion。 And even persons of
good natural disposition； if brought up to expect such deference； are
roused to unreasoning fury； and sometimes to the commission of atrocious
crimes； by the slightest challenge to their authority。 Thus a laborer may
be dirty； drunken； untruthful； slothful； untrustworthy in every way without
exhausting the indulgence of the country house。 But let him dare to be
〃disrespectful〃 and he is a lost man； though he be the cleanest； soberest；
most diligent； most veracious； most trustworthy man in the county。
Dickens's instinct for detecting social cankers never served him better than
when he shewed us Mrs Heep teaching her son to 〃be umble；〃 knowing
that if he carried out that precept he might be pretty well anything else he
liked。 The maintenance of deference to our wills becomes a mania which
will carry the best of us to any extremity。 We will allow a village of
Egyptian fellaheen or Indian tribesmen to live the lowest life they please
among themselves without molestation； but let one of them slay an
Englishman or even strike him on the strongest provocation； and
straightway we go stark mad； burning and destroying； shooting and
shelling； flogging and hanging； if only such survivors as we may leave are
thoroughly cowed in the presence of a man with a white face。 In the
committee room of a local council or city corporation； the humblest
employees of the committee find defenders if they complain of harsh
treatment。 Gratuities are voted； indulgences and holidays are pleaded for；
delinquencies are excused in the most sentimental manner provided only
the employee； however patent a hypocrite or incorrigible a slacker； is hat
in hand。 But let the most obvious measure of justice be demanded by the
secretary of a Trade Union in terms which omit all expressions of
subservience； and it is with the greatest difficulty that the cooler…headed
can defeat angry motions that the letter be thrown into the waste paper
basket and the committee proceed to the next business。
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The Demagogue's Opportunity
And the employee has in him the same fierce impulse to impose his
will without respect for the will of others。 Democracy is in practice
nothing but a device for cajoling from him the vote he refuses to arbitrary
authority。 He will not vote for Coriolanus； but when an experienced
demagogue comes along and says； 〃Sir： _you_ are the dictator： the
voice of the people is the voice of God； and I am only your very humble
servant；〃 he says at once； 〃All right： tell me what to dictate；〃 and is
presently enslaved more effectually with his own silly consent than
Coriolanus would ever have enslaved him without asking his leave。 And
the trick by which the demagogue defeats Coriolanus is played on him in
his turn by _his_ inferiors。 Everywhere we see the cunning succeeding in
the world by seeking a rich or powerful master and practising on his lust
for subservience。 The political adventurer who gets into parliament by
offering himself to the poor voter； not as his representative but as his will…
less soulless 〃delegate；〃 is himself the dupe of a clever wife who
repudiates Votes for Women； knowing well that whilst the man is master；
the man's mistress will rule。 Uriah Heep may be a crawling creature； but
his crawling takes him upstairs。
Thus does the selfishness of the will turn on itself； and obtain by
flattery what it cannot seize by open force。 Democracy becomes the
latest trick of tyranny： 〃womanliness〃 becomes the latest wile of
prostitution。
Between parent and child the same conflict wages and the same
destruction of character ensues。 Parents set themselves to bend the will
of their children to their ownto break their stubborn spirit； as they call it…
…with the ruthlessness of Grand Inquisitors。 Cunning； unscrupulous
children learn all the arts of the sneak in circumventing tyranny： children
of better character are cruelly distressed and more or less lamed for life by
it。
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Our Quarrelsomeness
As between adults； we find a general quarrelsomeness which makes
political reform as impossible to most Englishmen as to hogs。 Certain
sections of the nation get cured of this disability。 University men； sailors；
and politicians are comparatively free from it； because the communal life
of the University； the fact that in a ship a man must either learn to consider
others or else go overboard or into irons； and the habit of working on
committees and ceasing to expect more of one's own way than is included
in the greatest common measure of the committee； educate the will
socially。 But no one who has ever had to guide a committee of ordinary
private Englishmen through their first attempts at collective action； in
committee or otherwise； can retain any illusions as to the appalling effects
on our national manners and character of the organization of the home and
the school as petty tyrannies； and the absence of all teaching of self…
respect and training in self…assertion。 Bullied and ordered about； the
Englishman obeys like a sheep； evades like a knave； or tries to murder his
oppressor。 Merely criticized or opposed in committee； or invited to
consider anybody's views but his own； he feels personally insulted and
wants to resign or leave the room unless he is apologized to。 And his
panic and bewilderment when he sees that the older hands at the work
have no patience with him and do not intend to treat him as infallible； are
pitiable as far as they are anything but ludicrous。 That is what comes of
not being taught to consider other people's wills； and left to submit to them
or to over…ride them as if they were the winds a
