a treatise on parents and children(父母与子女专题研究)-第3章
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child as Divine wrath； and the cruelty as the beneficent act of God； which
is exactly what all our floggers do； is to add to the torture of the body； out
of which the flogger at least gets some pleasure； the maiming and blinding
of the child's soul； which can bring nothing but horror to anyone。
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The Manufacture of Monsters
This industry is by no means peculiar to China。 The Chinese （they
say） make physical monsters。 We revile them for it and proceed to make
moral monsters of our own children。 The most excusable parents are
those who try to correct their own faults in their offspring。 The parent
who says to his child： 〃I am one of the successes of the Almighty：
therefore imitate me in every particular or I will have the skin off your
back〃 （a quite common attitude） is a much more absurd figure than the
man who； with a pipe in his mouth； thrashes his boy for smoking。 If you
must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson （which is not at
all necessary）； hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example。 But
you had much better let the child's character alone。 If you once allow
yourself to regard a child as so much material for you to manufacture into
any shape that happens to suit your fancy you are defeating the experiment
of the Life Force。 You are assuming that the child does not know its own
business； and that you do。 In this you are sure to be wrong： the child
feels the drive of the Life Force （often called the Will of God）； and you
cannot feel it for him。 Handel's parents no doubt thought they knew
better than their child when they tried to prevent his becoming a musician。
They would have been equally wrong and equally unsuccessful if they had
tried to prevent the child becoming a great rascal had its genius lain in that
direction。 Handel would have been Handel； and Napoleon and Peter of
Russia _them_selves in spite of all the parents in creation； because； as
often happens； they were stronger than their parents。 But this does not
happen always。 Most children can be； and many are； hopelessly warped
and wasted by parents who are ignorant and silly enough to suppose that
they know what a human being ought to be； and who stick at nothing in
their determination to force their children into their moulds。 Every child
has a right to its own bent。 It has a right to be a Plymouth Brother though
its parents be convinced atheists。 It has a right to dislike its mother or
father or sister or brother or uncle or aunt if they are antipathetic to it。 It
has a right to find its own way and go its own way； whether that way
seems wise or foolish to others； exactly as an adult has。 It has a right to
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A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
privacy as to its own doings and its own affairs as much as if it were its
own father。
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A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
Small and Large Families
These rights have now become more important than they used to be；
because the modern practice of limiting families enables them to be more
effectually violated。 In a family of ten； eight； six； or even four children；
the rights of the younger ones to a great extent take care of themselves and
of the rights of the elder ones too。 Two adult parents； in spite of a house
to keep and an income to earn； can still interfere to a disastrous extent with
the rights and liberties of one child。 But by the time a fourth child has
arrived； they are not only outnumbered two to one； but are getting tired of
the thankless and mischievous job of bringing up their children in the way
they think they should go。 The old observation that members of large
families get on in the world holds good because in large families it is
impossible for each child to receive what schoolmasters call 〃individual
attention。〃 The children may receive a good deal of individual attention
from one another in the shape of outspoken reproach； ruthless ridicule； and
violent resistance to their attempts at aggression； but the parental despots
are compelled by the multitude of their subjects to resort to political rather
than personal rule； and to spread their attempts at moral monster…making
over so many children； that each child has enough freedom； and enough
sport in the prophylactic process of laughing at its elders behind their
backs； to escape with much less damage than the single child。 In a large
school the system may be bad； but the personal influence of the head
master has to be exerted； when it is exerted at all； in a public way； because
he has little more power of working on the affections of the individual
scholar in the intimate way that； for example； the mother of a single child
can； than the prime minister has of working on the affections of any
individual voter。
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A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
Children as Nuisances
Experienced parents； when children's rights are preached to them； very
naturally ask whether children are to be allowed to do what they like。 The
best reply is to ask whether adults are to be allowed to do what they like。
The two cases are the same。 The adult who is nasty is not allowed to do
what he likes： neither can the child who likes to be nasty。 There is no
difference in principle between the rights of a child and those of an adult：
the difference in their cases is one of circumstance。 An adult is not
supposed to be punished except by process of law； nor； when he is so
punished； is the person whom he has injured allowed to act as judge； jury；
and executioner。 It is true that employers do act in this way every day to
their workpeople； but this is not a justified and intended part of the
situation： it is an abuse of Capitalism which nobody defends in principle。
As between child and parent or nurse it is not argued about because it is
inevitable。 You cannot hold an impartial judicial inquiry every time a
child misbehaves itself。 To allow the child to misbehave without
instantly making it unpleasantly conscious of the fact would be to spoil it。
The adult has therefore to take action of some sort with nothing but his
conscience to shield the child from injustice or unkindness。 The action
may be a torrent of scolding culminating in a furious smack causing terror
and pain； or it may be a remonstrance causing remorse； or it may be a
sarcasm causing shame and humiliation； or it may be a sermon causing the
child to believe that it is a little reprobate on the road to hell。 The child
has no defence in any case except the kindness and conscience of the adult；
and the adult had better not forget this； for it involves a heavy
responsibility。
And now comes our difficulty。 The responsibility； being so heavy；
cannot be discharged by persons of feeble character or intelligence。 And
yet people of high character and intelligence cannot be plagued with the
care of children。 A child is a restless； noisy little animal； with an
insatiable appetite for knowledge； and consequently a maddening
persistence in asking questions。 If the child is to remain in the room with
a highly intelligent and sensitive adult； it must be told； and if necessary
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forced； to sit still and not speak； which is injurious to its health； unnatural；
unjust； and therefore cruel and selfish beyond toleration。 Consequently
the highly intelligent and sensitive adult hands the child over to a
nurserymaid who has no nerves and can therefore stand more noise； but
who has also no scruples； and may therefore be very bad company for the
child。
Here we have come to the central fact of the question： a fact nobody
avows； which is yet the true explanation of the monstrous system of child
imprisonment and torture which we disguise under such hypocrisies as
education； training； formation of character and the rest of it。 This fact is
simply that a child is a nuisance to a grown…up person。 What is more； the
nuisance becomes more and more intolerable as the grown…up person
becomes more cultivated； more sensitive； and more deeply engaged in the
highest methods of adult work。 The child at play is noisy and ought to be
noisy： Sir Isaac Newton at work is quiet and ought to be quiet。 And the
child should spend most of its time at play； whilst the adult should spend
most of his time at work。 I am not now writing on behalf of persons who
coddle themselves into a ridiculous condition of nervous feebleness； and at
last imagine themselves unable to work under conditions of bustle which
to healthy people are cheerful and stimulating。 I am sure that if people
had to choose between living where the noise of children never stopped
and where it was never heard； all the goodnatured and sound people would
prefer the incessant noise to the incessant silence。 But that choice is not
thrust upon us by the nature of things。 There is no reason why children
and adults should not see just as much of one another as is good for them；
no more and no less。 Even at present you are not compelled to choose
between sending your child to a boarding school （which means getting rid
of it altogether on more or less hypocritical pretences） and keeping it
continually at hom
