options-第30章

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〃I　have　heard　of　it；〃　said　I。　　〃But　for　fragrance　and　tang　and　a　joy　　in　the　nostrils　I　would　not　give　one　puff　of　sea　breeze　across　the　　bay；　down　on　my　little　boat　dock　on　Long　Island；　for　ten　of　your　　turpentine…scented　tornadoes。〃

〃Then　why；〃　asked　North；　a　little　curiously；　〃don't　you　go　there　　instead　of　staying　cooped　up　in　this　Greater　Bakery？〃

〃Because；〃　said　I；　doggedly；　〃I　have　discovered　that　New　York　is　the　　greatest　summer〃

〃Don't　say　that　again；〃　interrupted　North；　〃unless　you've　actually　got　　a　job　as　General　Passenger　Agent　of　the　Subway。　　You　can't　really　　believe　it。〃

I　went　to　some　trouble　to　try　to　prove　my　theory　to　my　friend。　　The　　Weather　Bureau　and　the　season　had　conspired　to　make　the　argument　　worthy　of　an　able　advocate。

The　city　seemed　stretched　on　a　broiler　directly　above　the　furnaces　of　　Avernus。　　There　was　a　kind　of　tepid　gayety　afoot　and　awheel　in　the　　boulevards；　mainly　evinced　by　languid　men　strolling　about　in　straw　　hats　and　evening　clothes；　and　rows　of　idle　taxicabs　with　their　flags　　up；　looking　like　a　blockaded　Fourth　of　July　procession。　　The　hotels　　kept　up　a　specious　brilliancy　and　hospitable　outlook；　but　inside　one　　saw　vast　empty　caverns；　and　the　footrails　at　the　bars　gleamed　brightly　　from　long　disacquaintance　with　the　sole…leather　of　customers。　　In　the　　cross…town　streets　the　steps　of　the　old　brownstone　houses　were　　swarming　with　〃stoopers；〃　that　motley　race　hailing　from　sky…light　room　　and　basement；　bringing　out　their　straw　doorstep　mats　to　sit　and　fill　　the　air　with　strange　noises　and　opinions。

North　and　I　dined　on　the　top　of　a　hotel；　and　here；　for　a　few　minutes；　　I　thought　I　had　made　a　score。　　An　east　wind；　almost　cool；　blew　across　　the　roofless　roof。　　A　capable　orchestra　concealed　in　a　bower　of　　wistaria　played　with　sufficient　judgment　to　make　the　art　of　music　　probable　and　the　art　of　conversation　possible。

Some　ladies　in　reproachless　summer　gowns　at　other　tables　gave　　animation　and　color　to　the　scene。　　And　an　excellent　dinner；　mainly　　from　the　refrigerator；　seemed　to　successfully　back　my　judgment　as　to　　summer　resorts。　　But　North　grumbled　all　during　the　meal；　and　cursed　　his　lawyers　and　prated　so　of　his　confounded　camp　in　the　woods　that　I　　began　to　wish　he　would　go　back　there　and　leave　me　in　my　peaceful　city　　retreat。

After　dining　we　went　to　a　roof…garden　vaudeville　that　was　being　much　　praised。　　There　we　found　a　good　bill；　an　artificially　cooled　　atmosphere；　cold　drinks；　prompt　service；　and　a　gay；　well…dressed　　audience。　　North　was　bored。

〃If　this　isn't　comfortable　enough　for　you　on　the　hottest　August　night　　for　five　years；〃　I　said；　a　little　sarcastically；　〃you　might　think　　about　the　kids　down　in　Delancey　and　Hester　streets　lying　out　on　the　　fire…escapes　with　their　tongues　hanging　out；　trying　to　get　a　breath　of　　air　that　hasn't　been　fried　on　both　sides。　　The　contrast　might　increase　　your　enjoyment。〃

〃Don't　talk　Socialism；〃　said　North。　　〃I　gave　five　hundred　dollars　to　　the　free　ice　fund　on　the　first　of　May。　　I'm　contrasting　these　stale；　　artificial；　hollow；　wearisome　'amusements'　with　the　enjoyment　a　man　　can　get　in　the　woods。　　You　should　see　the　firs　and　pines　do　skirt…　dances　during　a　storm；　and　lie　down　flat　and　drink　out　of　a　mountain　　branch　at　the　end　of　a　day's　tramp　after　the　deer。　　That's　the　only　　way　to　spend　a　summer。　　Get　out　and　live　with　nature。〃

〃I　agree　with　you　absolutely；〃　said　I；　with　emphasis。

For　one　moment　I　had　relaxed　my　vigilance；　and　had　spoken　my　true　　sentiments。　　North　looked　at　me　long　and　curiously。

〃Then　why；　in　the　name　of　Pan　and　Apollo；〃　he　asked；　〃have　you　been　　singing　this　deceitful　paean　to　summer　in　town？〃

I　suppose　I　looked　my　guilt。

〃Ha；〃　said　North；　〃I　see。　　May　I　ask　her　name？〃

〃Annie　Ashton；〃　said　I；　simply。　　〃She　played　Nannette　in　Binkley　&　　Bing's　production　of　The　Silver　Cord。　　She　is　to　have　a　better　part　　next　season。〃

〃Take　me　to　see　her；〃　said　North。

Miss　Ashton　lived　with　her　mother　in　a　small　hotel。　　They　were　out　of　　the　West；　and　had　a　little　money　that　bridged　the　seasons。　　As　press…　agent　of　Binkley　&　Bing　I　had　tried　to　keep　her　before　the　public。　　As　　Robert　James　Vandiver　I　had　hoped　to　withdraw　her；　for　if　ever　one　was　　made　to　keep　company　with　said　Vandiver　and　smell　the　salt　breeze　on　　the　south　shore　of　Long　Island　and　listen　to　the　ducks　quack　in　the　　watches　of　the　night；　it　was　the　Ashton　set　forth　above。

But　she　had　a　soul　above　ducksabove　nightingales；　aye；　even　above　　birds　of　paradise。　　She　was　very　beautiful；　with　quiet　ways；　and　　seemed　genuine。　　She　had　both　taste　and　talent　for　the　stage；　and　she　　liked　to　stay　at　home　and　read　and　make　caps　for　her　mother。　　She　was　　unvaryingly　kind　and　friendly　with　Binkley　&　Bing's　press…agent。　　　Since　the　theatre　had　closed　she　had　allowed　Mr。　　Vandiver　to　call　in　　an　unofficial　role。　　I　had　often　spoken　to　her　of　my　friend；　Spencer　　Grenville　North；　and　so；　as　it　was　early；　the　first　turn　of　the　　vaudeville　being　not　yet　over；　we　left　to　find　a　telephone。

Miss　Ashton　would　be　very　glad　to　see　Mr。　　Vandiver　and　Mr。　　North。

We　found　her　fitting　a　new　cap　on　her　mother。　　I　never　saw　her　look　　more　charming。

North　made　himself　disagreeably　entertaining。　　He　was　a　good　talker；　　and　had　a　way　with　him。　　Besides；　he　had　two；　ten；　or　thirty　millions；　　I've　for　gotten　which。　　I　incautiously　admired　the　mother's　cap；　　whereupon　she　brought　out　her　store　of　a　dozen　or　two；　and　I　took　a　　course　in　edgings　and　frills。　　Even　though　Annie's　fingers　had　pinked；　　or　ruched；　or　hemmed；　or　whatever　you　do　to　'em；　they　palled　upon　me。　　　And　I　could　hear　North　drivelling　to　Annie　about　his　odious　Adirondack　　camp。

Two　days　after　that　I　saw　North　in　his　motor…car　with　Miss　Ashton　and　　her　mother。　　On　the　next　afternoon　he　dropped　in　on　me。

〃Bobby；〃　said　he；　〃this　old　burg　isn't　such　a　bad　proposition　in　the　　summer…time；　after　all。　　Since　I've　keen　knocking　around　it　looks　　better　to　me。　　There　are　some　first…rate　musical　comedies　and　light　　operas　on　the　roofs　and　in　the　outdoor　gardens。　　And　if　you　hunt　up　　the　right　places　and　stick　to　soft　drinks；　you　can　keep　about　as　cool　　here　as　you　can　in　the　country。　　Hang　it！　when　you　come　to　think　of　　it；　there's　nothing　much　to　the　country；　anyhow。　　You　get　tired　and　　sunburned　and　lonesome；　and　you　have　to　eat　any　old　thing　that　the　　cook　dishes　up　to　you。〃

〃It　makes　a　difference；　doesn't　it？〃　said　I。

〃It　certainly　does。　　Now；　I　found　some　whitebait　yesterday；　at　　Maurice's；　with　a　new　sauce　that　beats　anything　in　the　trout　line　I　　ever　tasted。〃

〃It　makes　a　difference；　doesn't　it？〃　I　said。

〃Immense。　　The　sauce　is　the　main　thing　with　whitebait。〃

〃It　makes　a　difference；　doesn't　it？〃　I　asked；　looking　him　straight　in　　the　eye。　　He　understood。

〃Look　here；　Bob；〃　he　said；　〃I　was　going　to　tell　you。　　I　couldn't　help　　it。　　I'll　play　fair　with　you；　but　I'm　going　in　to　win。　　She　is　the　　'one　particular'　for　me。〃

〃All　right；〃　said　I。　　〃It's　a　fair　field。　　There　are　no　rights　for　you　　to　encroach　upon。〃

On　Thursday　afternoon　Miss　Ashton　invited　North　and　myself　to　have　tea　　in　her　apartment。　　He　was　devoted；　and　she　was　more　charming　than　　usual。　　By　avoiding　the　subject　of　caps　I　managed　to　get　a　word　or　two　　into　and　out　of　the　talk。　　Miss　Ashton　asked　me　in　a　make…　conversational　tone　something　about　the　next　season's　tour。

〃Oh；〃　said　I；　〃I　don't　know　about　that。　　I'm　not　going　to　be　with　　Binkley　&　Bing　next　season。〃

〃Why；　I　thought；〃　said　she；　〃that　they　were　going　to　put　the　Number　　One　road　company　under　your　charge。　　I　thought　you　told　me　so。〃

〃They　were；〃　said　I；　〃but　they　won't。。　　I'll　tell　you　what　I'm　going　　to　do。　　I'm　going　to　the　south　shore　of　Long　Island　and　buy　a　small　　cottage　I　know　there　on　the　edge　of　the　bay。　　And　I'll　buy　a　catboat　　and　a　rowboat　and　a　shotgun　and　a　yellow　dog。　　I've　got　money　enough　　to　do　it。　　And　I'll　smell　the　salt　wind　all　day　when　it　blows　from　the　　sea　and　the　pine　odor　when　it　blows　from　the　land。　　And；　of　course；　　I'll　write　plays　until　I　have　a　trunk　full　of　'em　on　hand。

〃And　the　next　thing　and　the　biggest　thing　I'll　do　will　be　to　buy　that　　duck…farm　next　door。　　Few　people　understand　ducks。　　I　can　watch　'em　　for　hours。　　They　can　march　better　than　any　company　in　the　National　　Guard；　and　they　can　play　'follow　my　leader'　better　than　the　entire　　Democratic　party。　　Their　voices　don't　amount　to　much；　but　I　like　to　　hear　'em。　　They　wake　you　up　a　dozen　times　a　night；　but　there's　a　　homely　sound　about　their　quacking　that　is　more　musical　to　me　than　the　　cry　of　'Fresh　strawber…rees！'　under　your　window　in　the　morning　when　　you　want　to　sleep。

〃And；〃　I　went　on；　enthusiastically；　〃do　you　know　the　value　of　ducks　　besides　their　beauty　and　intelligence　and　order　and　sweetness　of　　voice？　　Picking　their　feathers　gives　you　an　unfailing　and　never　　ceasing　income。　　On　a　farm　that　I　know　the　feathers　were　sold　for　400　　in　one　year。　　Think　of　that！　　And　the　ones　shipped　to　the　market　will　　bring　in　more　money　than　that。　　Yes；　I　am　for　the　ducks　and　the　salt　　breeze　coming　over　the　bay。　　I　think　I　shall　get　a　Chinaman　cook；　and　　with　him　and　the　dog　and　the　sunsets　for　company　I　shall　do　well。　　No　　more　of　this　dull；　baking；　senseless；　roaring　city　for　me。〃

Miss　Ashton　looked　surprised。　　North　laughed。

〃I　am　going　to　begin　one　of　my　plays　tonight；〃　I　said；　〃so　I　must　be　　going。〃　　And　with　that　I　took　my　departure。

A　few　days　later　Miss　Ashton　telephoned　to　me；　asking　me　to　call　at　　four　in　the　afternoon。

I　did。

〃You　have　been　very　good　to　me；〃　she　said；　hesitatingly；　〃and　I　　thought　I　would　tell　you。　　I　am　going　to　leave　the　stage。〃

〃Yes；〃　said　I；　〃I　suppose　you　will。　　They　usually　do　when　there's　so　　much　money。〃

〃There　is　no　money；〃　she　said；　〃or　very　little。　　Our　money　is　almost　　gone。〃

〃But　I　am　told；〃　said　I；　〃that　he　has　something　like　two　or　ten　or　　thirty　millionsI　have　forgotten　which。〃

〃I　know　what　you　mean；〃　she　said。　　〃I　will　not　pretend　that　I　do　not。　　　I　am　not　going　to　marry　Mr。　　North。〃

〃Then　why　are　you　leaving　the　stage　？〃　I　asked；　severely。　　〃What　else　　can　you　do　to　earn　a　living？〃

She　came　closer　to　me；　and　I　can　see　the　look　in　her　eyes　yet　as　she　　spoke。

〃I　can　pick　ducks；〃　she　said。

We　sold　the　first　year's　feathers　for　350。




A　POOR　RULE



I　have　always　maintained；　and　asserted　ime　to　time；　that　woman　is　no　　mystery；　that　man　can　foretell；　construe；　subdue；　comprehend；　and　　interpret　her。　　That　she　is　a　mystery　has　been　foisted　by　herself　upon　　credulous　mankind。　　Whether　I　am　right　or　wrong　we　shall　see。　　As　　〃Harper's　Drawer〃　used　to　say　in　bygone　years：　〃The　following　good　　story　is　told　of　Miss　；　Mr。　；　Mr。　and　Mr。　。〃

We　shall　have　to　omit　〃Bishop　X〃　and　〃the　Rev。　；〃　for　they　do　not　　belong。

In　those　days　Paloma　was　a　new　town　on　the　line　of　the　Southern　　Pacific。　　A　reporter　would　have　called　it　a　〃mushroom〃　town；　but　it　　was　not。　　Paloma　was；　first　and　last；　of　the　toadstool　variety。

The　train　stopped　there　at　noon　for　the　engine　to　drink　and　for　the　　passengers　both　to　drink　and　to　dine。　　There　was　a　new　yellow…pine　　hotel；　also　a　wool　warehouse；　and　perhaps　three　dozen　box　residences。　　　The　rest　was　composed　of　tents；　cow　ponies；　〃black…waxy〃　mud；