a tale of two cities(双城记)-第24章

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o　touch　may　not…'　
　He　was　stayed　by　the　Doctor's　putting　out　his　hand　to　stop　him。　When　he　had　kept　it　so　a　little　while；　he　said；　drawing　it　back：　
　‘Is　Lucie　the　topic？'　
　‘She　is。'　
　‘It　is　hard　for　me　to　speak　of　her　at　any　time。　It　is　very　hard　for　me　to　hear　her　spoken　of　in　that　tone　of　yours；　Charles　Darnay。'　
　‘It　is　a　tone　of　fervent　admiration；　true　homage；　and　deep　love；　Doctor　Manette！'　he　said　deferentially。　
　There　was　another　blank　silence　before　her　father　rejoined：　‘I　believe　it。　I　do　you　justice；　I　believe　it。'　
　His　constraint　was　so　manifest；　and　it　was　so　manifest；　too；　that　it　originated　in　an　unwillingness　to　approach　the　subject；　that　Charles　Darnay　hesitated。　
　‘Shall　I　go　on；　sir？'　
　Another　blank。　
　‘Yes；　go　on。'　
　‘You　anticipate　what　I　would　say；　though　you　cannot　know　how　earnestly　I　say　it；　how　earnestly　I　feel　it；　without　knowing　my　secret　heart；　and　the　hopes　and　fears　and　anxieties　with　which　it　has　long　been　laden。　Dear　Doctor　Manette；　I　love　your　daughter　fondly；　dearly；　disinterestedly；　devotedly。　If　ever　there　were　love　in　the　world；　I　love　her。　You　have　loved　yourself；　let　your　old　love　speak　for　me！'　
　The　Doctor　sat　with　his　face　turned　away；　and　his　eyes　bent　on　the　ground。　At　the　last　words；　he　stretched　out　his　hand　again；　hurriedly；　and　cried：　
　‘Not　that；　sir！　Let　that　be！　I　adjure　you；　do　not　recall　that！'　
　His　cry　was　so　like　a　cry　of　actual　pain；　that　it　rang　in　Charles　Darnay's　ears　long　after　he　had　ceased。　He　motioned　with　the　hand　he　had　extended；　and　it　seemed　to　be　an　appeal　to　Darnay　to　pause。　The　latter　so　received　it；　and　remained　silent。　
　‘I　ask　your　pardon；'　said　the　Doctor；　in　a　subdued　tone；　after　some　moments。　‘I　do　not　doubt　your　loving　Lucie；　you　may　be　satisfied　of　it。'　
　He　turned　towards　him　in　his　chair；　but　did　not　look　at　him；　or　raise　his　eyes。　His　chin　dropped　upon　his　hand；　and　his　white　hair　overshadowed　his　face：　
　‘Have　you　spoken　to　Lucie？'　
　‘No。'　
　‘Nor　written？'　
　‘Never。'　
　‘It　would　be　ungenerous　to　affect　not　to　know　that　your　self…denial　is　to　be　referred　to　your　consideration　for　her　father。　Her　father　thanks　you。　
　He　offered　his　hand；　but　his　eyes　did　not　go　with　it。　
　‘I　know；'　said　Darnay；　respectfully；　‘how　can　I　fail　to　know；　Doctor　Manette；　I　who　have　seen　you　together　from　day　to　day；　that　between　you　and　Miss　Manette　there　is　an　affection　so　unusual；　so　touching；　so　belonging　to　the　circumstances　in　which　it　has　been　nurtured；　that　it　can　have　few　parallels；　even　in　the　tenderness　between　a　father　and　child。　I　know；　Dr。　Manettehow　can　I　fail　to　knowthat；　mingled　with　the　affection　and　duty　of　a　daughter　who　has　become　a　woman；　there　is；　in　her　heart；　towards　you；　all　the　love　and　reliance　of　infancy　itself。　I　know　that；　as　in　her　childhood　she　had　no　parent；　so　she　is　now　devoted　to　you　with　all　the　constancy　and　fervour　of　her　present　years　and　character；　united　to　the　trustfulness　and　attachment　of　the　early　days　in　which　you　were　lost　to　her。　I　know　perfectly　well　that　if　you　had　been　restored　to　her　from　the　world　beyond　this　life；　you　could　hardly　be　invested；　in　her　sight；　with　a　more　sacred　character　than　that　in　which　you　are　always　with　her。　I　know　that　when　she　is　clinging　to　you；　the　hands　of　baby；　girl；　and　woman；　all　in　one；　are　round　your　neck。　I　know　that　in　loving　you　she　sees　and　loves　her　mother　at　her　own　age；　sees　and　loves　you　at　my　age；　loves　her　mother　broken＋hearted；　loves　you　through　your　dreadful　trial　and　in　your　blessed　restoration。　I　have　known　this；　night　and　day；　since　I　have　known　you　in　your　home。'　
　Her　father　sat　silent；　with　his　face　bent　down。　His　breathing　was　a　little　quickened；　but　he　repressed　all　other　signs　of　agitation。　
　‘Dear　Doctor　manette　always　knowing　this；　always　seeing　her　and　you　with　this　hallowed　light　about　you；　I　have　forborne；　and　forborne；　as　long　as　it　was　in　the　nature　of　man　to　do　it。　I　have　felt；　and　do　even　now　feel；　that　to　bring　my　loveeven　minebetween　you；　is　to　touch　your　history　with　something　not　quite　so　good　as　itself。　But　I　love　her。　Heaven　is　my　witness　that　I　love　her！'　
　‘I　believe　it；'　answered　her　father；　mournfully。　‘I　have　thought　so　before　now。　I　believe　it。'　
　‘But；　do　not　believe；'　said　Darnay；　upon　whose　ear　the　mournful　voice　struck　with　a　reproachful　sound；　‘that　if　my　fortune　were　so　cast　as　that；　being　one　day　so　happy　as　to　make　her　my　wife；　I　must　at　any　time　put　any　separation　between　her　and　you；　I　could　or　would　breathe　a　word　of　what　I　now　say。　Besides　that　I　should　know　it　to　be　hopeless；　I　should　know　it　to　be　a　baseness。　If　I　had　any　such　possibility；　even　at　a　remote　distance　of　years；　harboured　in　my　thoughts；　and　‘hidden　in　my　heartif　it　ever　had　been　thereif　it　ever　could　be　thereI　could　not　now　touch　this　honoured　hand。'　
　He　laid　his　own　upon　it　as　he　spoke。　
　‘No；　dear　Doctor　Manette。　Like　you；　a　voluntary　exile　from　France；　like　you；　driven　from　it　by　its　distractions；　oppressions；　and　miseries；　like　you；　striving　to　live　away　from　it　by　my　own　exertions；　and　trusting　in　a　happier　future；　I　look　only　to　sharing　your　fortunes；　sharing　your　life　and　home；　and　being　faithful　to　you　to　the　death。　Not　to　divide　with　Lucie　her　privilege　as　your　child；　companion；　and　friend；　but　to　come　in　aid　of　it；　and　bind　her　closer　to　you；　if　such　a　thing　can　be。'　
　His　touch　still　lingered　on　her　father's　hand。　Answering　the　touch　for　a　moment；　but　not　coldly；　her　father　rested　his　hands　upon　the　arms　of　his　chair；　and　looked　up　for　the　first　time　since　the　beginning　of　the　conference。　A　struggle　was　evidently　in　his　face；　a　struggle　with　that　occasional　look　which　had　a　tendency　in　it　to　dark　doubt　and　dread。　
　‘You　speak　so　feelingly　and　so　manfully；　Charles　Darnay；　that　I　thank　you　with　all　my　heart；　and　will　open　all　my　heartor　nearly　so。　Have　you　any　reason　to　believe　that　Lucie　loves　you？'　
　‘None。　As　yet；　none。　
　‘Is　it　the　immediate　object　of　this　confidence；　that　you　may　at　once　ascertain　that；　with　my　knowledge？'　
　‘Not　even　so。　I　might　not　have　the　hopefulness　to　do　it　for　weeks；　I　might　（mistaken　or　not　mistaken）　have　that　hopefulness　to…morrow。　
‘Do　you　seek　any　guidance　from　me？'　
　‘I　ask　none；　sir。　But　I　have　thought　it　possible　that　you　might　have　it　in　your　power；　if　you　should　deem　it　right；　to　give　me　some。'　
　‘Do　you　seek　any　promise　from　me？'　
‘I　do　seek　that。　
‘What　is　it？'　
　‘I　well　understand　that；　without　you；　I　could　have　no　hope。　I　well　understand　that；　even　if　Miss　Manette　held　me　at　this　moment　in　her　innocent　heartdo　not　think　I　have　the　presumption　to　assume　so　muchI　could　retain　no　place　in　it　against　her　love　for　her　father。'　
　If　that　be　so；　do　you　sec　what；　on　the　other　hand；　is　involved　in　it？'　
　‘I　understand　equally　well；　that　a　word　from　her　father　in　any　suitor's　favour；　would　outweigh　herself　and　all　the　world。　For　which　reason；　Doctor　Manette；'　said　Darnay；　modestly　but　firmly；　‘I　would　not　ask　that　word；　to　save　my　life。'　
　‘I　am　sure　of　it。　Charles　Darnay；　mysteries　arise　out　of　close　love；　as　well　as　out　of　wide　division；　in　the　former　case；　they　are　subtle　and　delicate；　and　difficult　to　penetrate。　My　daughter　Lucie　is；　in　this　one　respect；　such　a　mystery　to　me；　I　can　make　no　guess　at　the　state　of　her　heart。'　
　‘May　I　ask；　sir；　if　you　think　she　is…'　As　he　hesitated；　her　father　supplied　the　rest。　
　‘Is　sought　by　any　other　suitor？'　
　‘It　is　what　I　meant　to　say。'　
　Her　father　considered　a　little　before　he　answered：　
　‘You　have　seen　Mr。　Carton　here；　yourself。　Mr。　Stryver　is　here　too；　occasionally。　If　it　be　at　all；　it　can　only　be　by　one　of　these。'　
　‘Or　both；'　said　Darnay。　
　‘I　had　not　thought　of　both；　I　should　not　think　either；　likely。　You　want　a　promise　from　me。　Tell　me　what　it　is。　
　‘It　is；　that　if　Miss　Manette　should　bring　to　you　at　any　time；　on　her　own　part；　such　a　confidence　as　I　have　ventured　to　lay　before　you；　you　will　bear　testimony　to　what　I　have　said；　and　to　your　belief　in　it。　I　hope　you　may　be　able　to　think　so　well　of　me；　as　to　urge　no　influence　against　me。　I　say　nothing　more　of　my　stake　in　this；　this　is　what　I　ask。　The　condition　on　which　I　ask　it；　and　which　you　have　an　undoubted　right　to　require；　I　will　observe　immediately。'　
‘I　give　the　promise；'　said　the　Doctor；　‘without　any　condition。　I　believe　your　object　to　be；　purely　and　truthfully；　as　you　have　stated　it。　I　believe　your　intention　is　to　perpetuate；　and　not　to　weaken；　the　ties　between　me　and　my　other　and　far　dearer　self。　If　she　should　ever　tell　me　that　you　are　essential　to　her　perfect　happiness；　I　will　give　her　to　you。　If　there　wereCharles　Darnay；　if　there　were…'　
　The　young　man　had　taken　his　hand　gratefully；　their　hands　were　joined　as　the　Doctor　spoke：　
　‘any　fancies；　any　reasons；　any　apprehensions；　anything　whatsoever；　new　or　old；　against　the　man　she　really　lovedthe　direct　responsibility　thereof　not　lying　on　his　headthey　should　all　be　obliterated　for　her　sake。　She　is　everything　to　me；　more　to　me　than　suffering；　more　to　me　than　wrong；　more　to　me…Well！　This　is　idle　talk。'　
　So　strange　was　the　way　in　which　he　faded　into　silence；　and　so　strange　his　fixed　look　when　he　had　ceased　to　speak；　that　Darnay　felt　his　own　hand　turn　cold　in　the　hand　that　slowly　released　and　dropped　it。　
　‘You　said　something　to　me；'　said　Doctor　Manette；　breaking　into　a　smile。　‘What　was　it　you　said　to　me？'　
　He　was　at　a　loss　how　to　answer；　until　he　remembered　having　spoken　of　a　condition。　Relieved　as　his　mind　reverted　to　that；　he　answered：　
　‘Your　confidence　in　me　ought　to　be　returned　with　full　confidence　on　my　part。　My　present　name；　though　but　slightly　changed　from　my　mother's；　is　not；　as　you　will　remember；　my　Own。　I　wish　to　tell　you　what　that　is；　and　why　I　am　in　England。'　
　‘Stop！'　said　the　Doctor　of　Beauvais。　
　‘I　wish　it；　that　I　may　the　better　deserve　your　confidence；　and　have　no　secret　from　you。　
　‘Stop！'　
　For　an　instant；　the　Doctor　even　had　his　two　hands　at　his　ears；　for　another　instant；　even　had　his　two　hands　laid　on　Darnay's　lips。　
　‘Tell　me　when　I　ask　you；　not　now。　If　your　suit　should　prosper；　if　Lucie　should　love　you；　you　shall　tell　me　on　your　marriage　morning。　Do　you　promise？'　
　‘Willingly。'　
　‘Give　me　your　hand。　She　will　be　home　directly；　and　it　is　better　she　should　not　see　us　together　to…night。　Go！　God　bless　you！'　
It　was　dark　when　Charles　Darnay　left　him；　and　it　was　an　hour　later　and　darker　when　Lucie　came　home；　she　hurried　into　the　room　alonefor　Miss　Pross　had　gone　straight　upstairsand　was　surprised　to　find　his　reading…chair　empty。　
　‘My　father！'　she　called　to　him。　‘Father　dear！'　
　Nothing　was　said　in　answer；　but　she　heard　a　low　hammering　sound　in　his　bedroom。　Passing　lightly　across　the　intermediate　room；　she　looked　in　at　his　door　and　came　running　back　frightened；　crying　to　herself；　with　her　blood　all　chilled；　‘What　shall　I　do！　What　shall　I　do！'　
　Her　uncertainty　lasted　but　a　moment；　she　hurried　back；　and　tapped　at　his　door；　and　softly　called　to　him。　The　noise　ceased　at　the　sound　of　her　voice；　and　he　presently　came　out　to　her；　and　they　walked　up　and　down　together　for　a　long　time。　
　She　came　down　from　her　bed；　to　look　at　him　in　his　sleep　that　night。　He　slept　heavily；　and　his　tray　of　shoemaking　tools；　and　his　old　unfinished　work；　were　all　as　usual。　

CHAPTER　XI
A　Companion　Picture
　
‘SYDNEY；'　said　Mr。