a tale of two cities(双城记)-第36章

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　It　was　but　the　inquiry　of　his　first　confusion　and　astonishment；　the　answer　being　obvious。　If　the　impression　were　not　produced　by　a　real　corresponding　and　sufficient　cause；　how　came　he；　Jarvis　Lorry；　there？　How　came　he　to　have　fallen　asleep；　in　his　clothes；　on　the　sofa　in　Dr。　Manette's　consulting…room；　and　to　be　debating　these　points　outside　the　Doctor's　bedroom　door　in　the　early　morning？　
　Within　a　few　minutes；　Miss　Pross　stood　whispering　at　his　side。　If　he　had　had　any　particle　of　doubt　left；　her　talk　would　of　necessity　have　resolved　it；　but　he　was　by　that　time　clearheaded；　and　had　none。　He　advised　that　they　should　let　the　time　go　by　until　the　regular　breakfast…hour；　and　should　then　meet　the　Doctor　as　if　nothing　unusual　had　occurred。　If　he　appeared　to　be　in　his　customary　state　of　mind；　Mr。　Lorry　would　then　cautiously　proceed　to　seek　direction　and　guidance　from　the　opinion　he　had　been；　in　his　anxiety；　so　anxious　to　obtain。　
Miss　Pross　submitting　herself　to　his　judgment；　the　scheme　was　worked　out　with　care。　Having　abundance　of　time　for　his　usual　methodical　toilette；　Mr。　Lorry　presented　himself　at　the　breakfast…hour　in　his　usual　white　linen；　and　with　his　usual　neat　leg。　The　Doctor　was　summoned　in　the　usual　way；　and　came　to　breakfast。　
　So　far　as　it　was　possible　to　comprehend　him　without　overstepping　those　delicate　and　gradual　approaches　which　Mr。　Lorry　felt　to　be　the　only　safe　advance；　he　at　first　supposed　that　his　daughter's　marriage　had　taken　place　yesterday。　An　incidental　allusion；　purposely　thrown　out；　to　the　day　of　the　week；　and　the　day　of　the　month；　set　him　thinking　and　counting；　and　evidently　made　him　uneasy。　In　all　other　respects；　however；　he　was　so　composedly　himself；　that　Mr。　Lorry　determined　to　have　the　aid　he　sought。　And　that　aid　was　his　own。　
　Therefore；　when　the　breakfast　was　done　and　cleared　away；　and　he　and　the　Doctor　were　left　together；　Mr。　Lorry　said；　feelingly：　
　‘My　dear　Manette；　I　am　anxious　to　have　your　opinion；　in　confidence；　on　a　very　curious　case　in　which　I　am　deeply　interested；　that　is　to　say；　it　is　very　curious　to　me；　perhaps；　to　your　better　information　it　may　be　less　so。'　
　Glancing　at　his　hands；　which　were　discoloured　by　his　late　work；　the　Doctor　looked　troubled；　and　listened　attentively。　He　had　already　glanced　at　his　hands　more　than　once。　
　‘Doctor　Manette；'　said　Mr。　Lorry；　touching　him　affectionately　on　the　arm；　‘the　case　is　the　case　of　a　particularly　dear　friend　of　mine。　Pray　give　your　mind　to　it；　and　advise　me　well　for　his　sakeand　above　all；　for　his　daughter'shis　daughter's；　my　dear　Manette。'　
　‘If　I　understand；'　said　the　Doctor；　in　a　subdued　tone；　‘some　mental　shock…？'　
　‘Yes！'　
　‘Be　explicit；'　said　the　Doctor。　‘Spare　no　detail。'　
　Mr。　Lorry　saw　that　they　understood　one　another；　and　proceeded。　
　‘My　dear　Manette；　it　is　the　case　of　an　old　and　a　prolonged　shock；　of　great　acuteness　and　severity　to　the　affections；　the　feelings；　thetheas　you　express　itthe　mind。　The　mind。　It　is　the　case　of　a　shock　under　which　the　sufferer　was　borne　down；　one　cannot　say　for　how　long；　because　I　believe　he　cannot　calculate　the　time　himself；　and　there　are　no　other　means　of　getting　at　it。　It　is　the　case　of　a　shock　from　which　the　sufferer　recovered；　by　a　process　that　he　cannot　trace　himselfas　I　once　heard　him　publicly　relate　in　a　striking　manner。　It　is　the　case　of　a　shock　from　which　he　has　recovered；　so　completely；　as　to　be　a　highly　intelligent　man；　capable　of　close　application　of　mind；　and　great　exertion　of　body；　and　of　constantly　making　fresh　additions　to　his　stock　of　knowledge；　which　was　already　very　large。　But；　unfortunately；　there　has　been'he　paused　add　took　a　deep　breath‘a　slight　relapse。'　
　The　Doctor；　in　a　low　voice；　asked；　‘Of　how　long　duration？'　
‘Nine　days　and　nights。'　
　‘How　did　it　show　itself？　I　infer；'　glancing　at　his　hands　again；　‘in　the　resumption　of　some　old　pursuit　connected　with　the　shock？'　
　‘That　is　the　fact。'　
　‘Now；　did　you　ever　see　him；'　asked　the　Doctor；　distinctly　and　collectedly；　though　in　the　same　low　voice；　‘engaged　in　that　pursuit　originally？'　
　‘Once。'　
　‘And　when　the　relapse　fell　on　him；　was　he　in　most　respectsor　in　all　respectsas　he　was　then？'　
　‘I　think　in　all　respects。'　
　‘You　spoke　of　his　daughter。　Does　his　daughter　know　of　the　relapse？'　
　‘No。　It　has　been　kept　from　her；　and　I　hope　will　always　be　kept　from　her。　It　is　known　only　to　myself；　and　to　one　other　who　may　be　trusted。'　
　The　Doctor　grasped　his　hand；　and　murmured；　‘That　was　very　kind。　That　was　very　thoughtful！'　Mr。　Lorry　grasped　his　hand　in　return；　and　neither　of　the　two　spoke　for　a　little　while。　
　‘Now；　my　dear　Manette；'　said　Mr。　Lorry；　at　length；　in　his　most　considerate　and　most　affectionate　way；　‘I　am　a　mere　man　of　business；　and　unfit　to　cope　with　such　intricate　and　difficult　matters。　I　do　not　possess　the　kind　of　information　necessary；　I　do　not　possess　the　kind　of　intelligence；　I　want　guiding。　There　is　no　man　in　this　world　on　whom　I　could　so　rely　for　right　guidance；　as　on　you。　Tell　me；　how　does　this　relapse　come　about？　Is　there　danger　of　another？　Could　a　repetition　of　it　be　prevented？　How　should　a　repetition　of　it　be　treated？　How　does　it　come　about　at　all？　What　can　I　do　for　my　friend？　No　man　ever　can　have　been　more　desirous　in　his　heart　to　serve　a　friend；　than　I　am　to　serve　mine；　if　I　knew　how。　But　I　don't　know　how　to　originate；　in　such　a　case。　If　your　sagacity；　knowledge；　and　experience；　could　put　me　on　the　right　track；　I　might　be　able　to　do　so　much；　unenlightened　and　undirected；　I　can　do　so　little。　Pray　discuss　it　with　me；　pray　enable　me　to　see　it　a　little　more　clearly；　and　teach　me　how　to　be　a　little　more　useful。'　
　Doctor　Manette　sat　meditating　after　these　earnest　words　were　spoken；　and　Mr。　Lorry　did　not　press　him。　
　‘I　think　so'　it　probable；'　said　the　Doctor；　breaking　silence　with　an　effort；　‘that　the　relapse　you　have　described；　my　dear　friend；　was　not　quite　unforeseen　by　its　subject。'　
　‘Was　it　dreaded　by　him？'　Mr。　Lorry　ventured　to　ask。　
‘Very　much。'　He　said　it　with　an　involuntary　shudder。　
　‘You　have　no　idea　how　such　an　apprehension　weighs　on　the　sufferer's　mind；　and　how　difficulthow　almost　impossibleit　is；　for　him　to　force　himself　to　utter　a　word　upon　the　topic　that　oppresses　him。'　
　‘Would　he；'　asked　Mr。　Lorry；　‘he　sensibly　relieved　if　he　could　prevail　upon　himself　to　impart　that　secret　brooding　to　any　one；　when　it　is　on　him？'　
　‘I　think　so。　But　it　is；　as　I　have　told　you；　next　to　impossible。　I　even　believe　itin　some　casesto　be　quite　impossible。'　
　‘Now；'　said　Mr。　Lorry；　gently　laying　his　hand　on　the　Doctor's　arm　again；　after　a　short　silence　on　both　sides；　‘to　what　would　you　refer　this　attack？'　
　‘I　believe；'　returned　Doctor　Manette；　‘that　there　had　been　a　strong　and　extraordinary　revival　of　the　train　of　thought　and　remembrance　that　was　the　first　cause　of　the　malady。　Some　intense　associations　of　a　most　distressing　nature　were　vividly　recalled；　I　think。　It　is　probable　that　there　had　long　been　a　dread　lurking　in　his　mind；　that　those　associations　would　be　recalledsay；　under　certain　circumstancessay；　on　a　particular　occasion。　He　tried　to　prepare　himself　in　vain；　perhaps　the　effort　to　prepare　himself　made　him　less　able　to　bear　it。'　
　‘Would　he　remember　what　took　place　in　the　relapse？'　asked　Mr。　Lorry；　with　natural　hesitation。　
　The　Doctor　looked　desolately　round　the　room；　shook　his　head；　and　answered；　in　a　low　voice；　‘Not　at　all。'　
　‘Now；　as　to　the　future；'　hinted　Mr。　Lorry。　
　‘As　to　the　future；'　said　the　Doctor；　recovering　firmness；　‘I　should　have　great　hope。　As　it　pleased　Heaven　in　its　mercy　to　restore　him　so　soon；　I　should　have　great　hope。　He；　yielding　under　the　pressure　of　a　complicated　something；　long　dreaded　and　long　vaguely　foreseen　and　contended　against；　and　recovering　after　the　cloud　had　burst　and　passed；　I　should　hope　that　the　worst　was　over。'　
　‘Well；　well！　That's　good　comfort。　I　am　thankful！'　said　Mr。　Lorry。　
　‘I　am　thankful！'　repeated　the　Doctor；　bending　his　head　with　reverence。　
　‘There　are　two　other　points；'　said　Mr。　Lorry；　‘on　which　I　am　anxious　to　be　instructed。　I　may　go　on？　
　‘You　cannot　do　your　friend　a　better　service。'　The　Doctor　gave　him　his　hand。　
　‘To　the　first；　then。　He　is　of　a　studious　habit；　and　unusually　energetic；　he　applies　himself　with　great　ardour　to　the　acquisition　of　professional　knowledge；　to　the　conducting　of　experiments；　to　many　things。　Now；　does　he　do　too　much？'　
　‘I　think　not。　It　may　be　the　character　of　his　mind；　to　be　always　in　singular　need　of　occupation。　That　may　be；　in　part；　natural　to　it；　in　part；　the　result　of　affliction。　The　less　it　was　occupied　with　healthy　things；　the　more　it　would　be　in　danger　of　turning　in　the　unhealthy　direction。　He　may　have　observed　himself；　and　made　the　discovery。'　
　‘You　are　sure　that　he　is　not　under　too　great　a　strain？'　
‘I　think　I　am　quite　sure　of　it。'　
‘My　dear　Manette；　if　he　were　overworked　now'　
　‘My　dear　Lorry；　I　doubt　if　that　could　easily　be。　There　has　been　a　violent　stress　in　one　direction；　and　it　needs　a　counter…weight。'　
　‘Excuse　me；　as　a　persistent　man　of　business。　Assuming　for　a　moment；　that　he　was　overworked；　it　would　show　itself　in　some　renewal　of　this　disorder？'　
　‘I　do　not　think　so。　I　do　not　think；'　said　Doctor　Manette　with　the　firmness　of　self…conviction；　‘that　anything　but　the　one　train　of　association　would　renew　it。　I　think　that；　hence…forth；　nothing　but　some　extraordinary　jarring　of　that　chord　could　renew　it。　Alter　what　has　happened；　and　after　his　recovery；　I　find　it　difficult　to　imagine　any　such　violent　sounding　of　that　string　again。　I　trust；　and　I　almost　believe；　that　the　circumstances　likely　to　renew　it　are　exhausted。'　
　He　spoke　with　the　diffidence　of　a　man　who　knew　how　slight　a　thing　would　overset　the　delicate　organisation　of　the　mind；　and　yet　with　the　confidence　of　a　man　who　had　slowly　won　his　assurance　out　of　personal　endurance　and　distress。　It　was　not　for　his　friend　to　abate　that　confidence。　He　professed　himself　more　relieved　and　encouraged　than　he　really　was；　and　approached　his　second　and　last　point。　He　felt　it　to　be　the　most　difficult　of　all；　but；　remembering　his　old　Sunday　morning　conversation　with　Miss　Pross；　and　remembering　what　he　had　seen　in　the　last　nine　days；　he　knew　that　he　must　face　it。　
　‘The　occupation　resumed　under　the　influence　of　this　passing　affliction　so　happily　recovered　from；'　said　Mr。　Lorry；　clearing　his　throat；　‘we　will　call…Blacksmith's　work；　Blacksmith's　work。　We　will　say；　to　put　a　case　and　for　the　sake　of　illustration；　that　he　had　been　used；　in　his　bad　time；　to　work　at　a　little　forge。　We　will　say　that　he　was　unexpectedly　found　at　his　forge　again。　Is　it　not　a　pity　that　he　should　keep　it　by　him？'　
　The　Doctor　shaded　his　forehead　with　his　hand；　and　beat　his　foot　nervously　on　the　ground。　
　‘He　has　always　kept　it　by　him；'　said　Mr。　Lorry；　with　an　anxious　look　at　his　friend。　‘Now；　would　it　not　be　better　that　he　should　let　it　go？'　
　Still；　the　Doctor；　with　shaded　forehead；　beat　his　foot　nervously　on　the　ground。　
　‘You　do　not　find　it　easy　to　advise　me？'　said　Mr。　Lorry。　
‘I　quite　understand　it　to　be　a　nice　question。　And　yet　I　think…'　And　there　he　shook　his　head；　and　stopped。　
　‘You　see；'　said　Doctor　Manette；　turning　to　him　after　an　uneasy　pause；　‘it　is　very　hard　to　explain；　consistently；　the　innermost　workings　of　this　poor　man's　mind。　He　once　yearned　so　frightfully　for　that　occu