the dark flower-第5章

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along　the　steaming　grassfelt　happy。　　It　was　wonderful　up　here；
with　the　sun　burning　hot　in　a　sky　clear…blue　already。　　How　tiny
everything　looked　belowhotel；　trees；　village；　chaletslittle　toy
things！　　He　had　never　before　felt　the　sheer　joy　of　being　high　up。
The　rain…clouds；　torn　and　driven　in　huge　white　shapes　along　the
mountains　to　the　South；　were　like　an　army　of　giants　with　chariots
and　white　horses　hurrying　away。　　He　thought　suddenly：　〃Suppose　I
had　died　when　my　heart　pumped　so！　　Would　it　have　mattered　the　least
bit？　　Everything　would　be　going　on　just　the　same；　the　sun　shining；
the　blue　up　there　the　same；　and　those　toy　things　down　in　the
valley。〃　　That　jealousy　of　his　an　hour　ago；　whyit　was　nothinghe
himself　nothing！　　What　did　it　matter　if　she　were　nice　to　that
fellow　in　the　brown　coat？　　What　did　anything　matter　when　the　whole
thing　was　so　bigand　he　such　a　tiny　scrap　of　it？

On　the　edge　of　the　plateau；　to　mark　the　highest　point；　someone　had
erected　a　rude　cross；　which　jutted　out　stark　against　the　blue　sky。
It　looked　cruel　somehow；　sagged　all　crooked；　and　out　of　place　up
here；　a　piece　of　bad　manners；　as　if　people　with　only　one　idea　had
dragged　it　in；　without　caring　whether　or　no　it　suited　what　was
around　it。　　One　might　just　as　well　introduce　one　of　these　rocks
into　that　jolly　dark　church　where　he　had　left　her　the　other　day；　as
put　a　cross　up　here。

A　sound　of　bells；　and　of　sniffing　and　scuffling；　roused　him；　a
large　grey　goat　had　come　up　and　was　smelling　at　his　hairthe
leader　of　a　flock；　that　were　soon　all　round　him；　solemnly　curious；
with　their　queer　yellow　oblong…pupilled　eyes；　and　their　quaint
little　beards　and　tails。　　Awfully　decent　beastsand　friendly！
What　jolly　things　to　model！　　He　lay　still　（having　learnt　from　the
fisherman；　his　guardian；　that　necessary　habit　in　the　presence　of
all　beasts）；　while　the　leader　sampled　the　flavour　of　his　neck。　　The
passage　of　that　long　rough　tongue　athwart　his　skin　gave　him　an
agreeable　sensation；　awakened　a　strange　deep　sense　of　comradeship。
He　restrained　his　desire　to　stroke　the　creature's　nose。　　It
appeared　that　they　now　all　wished　to　taste　his　neck；　but　some　were
timid；　and　the　touch　of　their　tongues　simply　a　tickle；　so　that　he
was　compelled　to　laugh；　and　at　that　peculiar　sound　they　withdrew
and　gazed　at　him。　　There　seemed　to　be　no　one　with　them；　then；　at　a
little　distance；　quite　motionless　in　the　shade　of　a　rock；　he　spied
the　goatherd；　a　boy　about　his　own　age。　　How　lonely　he　must　be　up
here　all　day！　　Perhaps　he　talked　to　his　goats。　　He　looked　as　if　he
might。　　One　would　get　to　have　queer　thoughts　up　here；　get　to　know
the　rocks；　and　clouds；　and　beasts；　and　what　they　all　meant。　　The
goatherd　uttered　a　peculiar　whistle；　and　something；　Lennan　could
not　tell　exactly　what；　happened　among　the　goatsa　sort　of　〃Here；
Sir！〃　seemed　to　come　from　them。　　And　then　the　goatherd　moved　out
from　the　shade　and　went　over　to　the　edge　of　the　plateau；　and　two　of
the　goats　that　were　feeding　there　thrust　their　noses　into　his　hand；
and　rubbed　themselves　against　his　legs。　　The　three　looked　beautiful
standing　there　together　on　the　edge　against　the　sky。　。　。　。

That　night；　after　dinner；　the　dining…room　was　cleared　for　dancing；
so　that　the　guests　might　feel　freedom　and　gaiety　in　the　air。　　And；
indeed；　presently；　a　couple　began　sawing　up　and　down　over　the
polished　boards；　in　the　apologetic　manner　peculiar　to　hotel　guests。
Then　three　pairs　of　Italians　suddenly　launched　themselves　into
spacetwirling　and　twirling；　and　glaring　into　each　other's　eyes；
and　some　Americans；　stimulated　by　their　precept；　began　airily
backing　and　filling。　　Two　of　the　'English　Grundys'　with　carefully
amused　faces　next　moved　out。　　To　Lennan　it　seemed　that　they　all
danced　very　well；　better　than　he　could。　　Did　he　dare　ask　HER？　　Then
he　saw　the　young　violinist　go　up；　saw　her　rise　and　take　his　arm　and
vanish　into　the　dancing…room；　and　leaning　his　forehead　against　a
window…pane；　with　a　sick；　beaten　feeling；　he　stayed；　looking　out
into　the　moonlight；　seeing　nothing。　　He　heard　his　name　spoken；　his
tutor　was　standing　beside　him。

〃You　and　I；　Lennan；　must　console　each　other。　　Dancing's　for　the
young；　eh？〃

Fortunately　it　was　the　boy's　instinct　and　his　training　not　to　show
his　feelings；　to　be　pleasant；　though　suffering。

〃Yes；　sir。　　Jolly　moonlight；　isn't　it；　out　there？〃

〃Ah！　very　jolly；　yes。　　When　I　was　your　age　I　twirled　the　light
fantastic　with　the　best。　　But　gradually；　Lennan；　one　came　to　see　it
could　not　be　done　without　a　partnerthere　was　the　rub！　　Tell　me
do　you　regard　women　as　responsible　beings？　　I　should　like　to　have
your　opinion　on　that。〃

It　was；　of　course；　ironicalyet　there　was　something　in　those
wordssomething！

〃I　think　it's　you；　sir；　who　ought　to　give　me　yours。〃

〃My　dear　Lennanmy　experience　is　a　mere　nothing！〃

That　was　meant　for　unkindness　to　her！　　He　would　not　answer。　　If
only　Stormer　would　go　away！　　The　music　had　stopped。　　They　would　be
sitting　out　somewhere；　talking！　　He　made　an　effort；　and　said：

〃I　was　up　the　hill　at　the　back　this　morning；　where　the　cross　is。
There　were　some　jolly　goats。〃

And　suddenly　he　saw　her　coming。　　She　was　aloneflushed；　smiling；
it　struck　him　that　her　frock　was　the　same　colour　as　the　moonlight。

〃Harold；　will　you　dance？〃

He　would　say　'Yes；'　and　she　would　be　gone　again！　　But　his　tutor
only　made　her　a　little　bow；　and　said　with　that　smile　of　his：

〃Lennan　and　I　have　agreed　that　dancing　is　for　the　young。〃

〃Sometimes　the　old　must　sacrifice　themselves。　　Mark；　will　you
dance？〃

Behind　him　he　heard　his　tutor　murmur：

〃Ah！　　Lennanyou　betray　me！〃

That　little　silent　journey　with　her　to　the　dancing…room　was　the
happiest　moment　perhaps　that　he　had　ever　known。　　And　he　need　not
have　been　so　much　afraid　about　his　dancing。　　Truly；　it　was　not
polished；　but　it　could　not　spoil　hers；　so　light；　firm；　buoyant！　　It
was　wonderful　to　dance　with　her。　　Only　when　the　music　stopped　and
they　sat　down　did　he　know　how　his　head　was　going　round。　　He　felt
strange；　very　strange　indeed。　　He　heard　her　say：

〃What　is　it；　dear　boy？　　You　look　so　white！〃

Without　quite　knowing　what　he　did；　he　bent　his　face　towards　the
hand　that　she　had　laid　on　his　sleeve；　then　knew　no　more；　having
fainted。


VIII


Growing　boyover…exertion　in　the　morning！　　That　was　all！　　He　was
himself　very　quickly；　and　walked　up　to　bed　without　assistance。
Rotten　of　him！　　Never　was　anyone　more　ashamed　of　his　little
weakness　than　this　boy。　　Now　that　he　was　really　a　trifle
indisposed；　he　simply　could　not　bear　the　idea　of　being　nursed　at
all　or　tended。　　Almost　rudely　he　had　got　away。　　Only　when　he　was　in
bed　did　he　remember　the　look　on　her　face　as　he　left　her。　　How
wistful　and　unhappy；　seeming　to　implore　him　to　forgive　her！　　As　if
there　were　anything　to　forgive！　　As　if　she　had　not　made　him
perfectly　happy　when　she　danced　with　him！　　He　longed　to　say　to　her：
〃If　I　might　be　close　to　you　like　that　one　minute　every　day；　then　I
don't　mind　all　the　rest！〃　　Perhaps　he　would　dare　say　that　to…
morrow。　　Lying　there　he　still　felt　a　little　funny。　　He　had
forgotten　to　close　the　ribs　of　the　blinds；　and　moonlight　was
filtering　in；　but　he　was　too　idle；　too　drowsy　to　get　up　now　and　do
it。　　They　had　given　him　brandy；　rather　a　lotthat　perhaps　was　the
reason　he　felt　so　queer；　not　ill；　but　mazy；　as　if　dreaming；　as　if
he　had　lost　the　desire　ever　to　move　again。　　Just　to　lie　there；　and
watch　the　powdery　moonlight；　and　hear　faraway　music　throbbing　down
below；　and　still　feel　the　touch　of　her；　as　in　the　dance　she　swayed
against　him；　and　all　the　time　to　have　the　scent　about　him　of
flowers！　　His　thoughts　were　dreams；　his　dreams　thoughtsall
precious　unreality。　　And　then　it　seemed　to　him　that　the　moonlight
was　gathered　into　a　single　slip　of　pallorthere　was　a　thrumming；　a
throbbing；　and　that　shape　of　moonlight　moved　towards　him。　　It　came
so　close　that　he　felt　its　warmth　against　his　brow；　it　sighed；
hovered；　drew　back　soundless；　and　was　gone。　　He　must　have　fallen
then　into　dreamless　sleep。　。　。　。

What　time　was　it　when　he　was　awakened　by　that　delicate　'rat…tat'　to
see　his　tutor　standing　in　the　door…way　with　a　cup　of　tea？

Was　young　Lennan　all　right？　　Yes；　he　was　perfectly　all　rightwould
be　down　directly！　　It　was　most　frightfully　good　of　Mr。　Stormer　to
come！　　He　really　didn't　want　anything。

Yes；　yes；　but　the　maimed　and　the　halt　must　be　attended　to！

His　face　seemed　to　the　boy　very　kind　just　thenonly　to　laugh　at
him　a　very　littlejust　enough。　　And　it　was　awfully　decent　of　him
to　have　come；　and　to　stand　there　while　he　drank　the　tea。　　He　was
really　all　right；　but　for　a　little　headache。　　Many　times　while　he
was　dressing　he　stood　still；　trying　to　remember。　　That　white　slip
of　moonlight？　　Was　it　moonlight？　　Was　it　part　of　a　dream；　or　was
it；　could　it　have　been　she；　in　her　moonlight…coloured　frock？　　Why
had　he　not　stayed　awake？　　He　would　not　dare　to　ask　her；　and　now
would　never　know　whether　the　vague　memory　of　warmth　on　his　brow　had
been　a　kiss。

He　breakfasted　alone　in　the　room　where　they　had　danced。　　There　were
two　letters　for　him。　　One　from　his　guardian　enclosing　money；　and
complaining　of　the　shyness　of　the　trout；　the　other　from　his　sister。
The　man　she　was　engaged　tohe　was　a　budding　diplomat；　attached　to
the　Embassy　at　Romewas　afraid　that　his　leave　was　going　to　be
curtailed。　　They　would　have　to　be　married　at　once。　　They　might　even
have　to　get　a　special　licence。　　It　was　lucky　Mark　was　coming　back
so　soon。　　They　simply　MUST　have　him　for　best　man。　　The　only
bridesmaid　now　would　be　Sylvia。　。　。　。　　Sylvia　Doone？　　Why；　she　was
only　a　kid！　　And　the　memory　of　a　little　girl　in　a　very　short
holland　frock；　with　flaxen　hair；　pretty　blue　eyes；　and　a　face　so
fair　that　you　could　almost　see　through　it；　came　up　before　him。　　But
that；　of　course；　was　six　years　ago；　she　would　not　still　be　in　a
frock　that　showed　her　knees；　or　wear　beads；　or　be　afraid　of　bulls
that　were　never　there。　　It　was　stupid　being　best　manthey　might
have　got　some　decent　chap！　　And　then　he　forgot　allfor　there　was
SHE；　out　on　the　terrace。　　In　his　rush　to　join　her　he　passed　several
of　the　'English　Grundys；'　who　stared　at　him　askance。　　Indeed；　his
conduct　of　the　night　before　might　well　have　upset　them。　　An　Oxford
man；　fainting　in　an　hotel！　　Something　wrong　there！　。　。　。

And　then；　when　he　reached　her；　he　did　find　courage。

〃Was　it　really　moonlight？〃

〃All　moonlight。〃

〃But　it　was　warm！〃

And；　when　she　did　not　answer　that；　he　had　within　him　just　the　same
light；　intoxicated　feeling　as　after　he　had　won　a　race　at　school。

But　now　came　a　dreadful　blow。　　His　tutor's　old　guide　had　suddenly
turned　up；　after　a　climb　with　a　party　of　Germans。　　The　war…horse
had　been　aroused　in　Stormer。　　He　wished　to　start　that　afternoon　for
a　certain　hut；　and　go　up　a　certain　peak　at　dawn　next　day。　　But
Lennan　was　not　to　go。　　Why　not？　　Because　of　last　night's　faint；　and
because；　forsooth；　he　was　not　some　stupid　thing　they　called　'an
expert。'　　As　if！　　Where　she　could　go　he　could！　　This　was　to　treat
him　like　a　child。　　Of　course　he　could　go　up　this　rotten　mountain。
It　was　because　she　did　not　care　enough　to　take　him！　　She　did　not
think　him　man　enough！　　Did　she　think　that　he　could　not　climb　what
her　husbandcould？　　And