屋顶间的哲学家_梭维斯特-第16章
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onforit。aftertryingalittleofeverything；ifelluponcard…boxmaking；andhereiamatcasesforthelaceandbuttonsofthenationalguard；itisworkoflittleprofit；butitiswithinthecapacityofall。bygettingupatfourandworkingtilleight；iearnsixty…fivecentimes；mylodgingandbowlofsouptakefiftyofthem；andtherearethreesousoverforluxuries。soiamricherthanfranceherself；forihavenodeficitinmybudget；andicontinuetoserveher；asisaveherlaceandbuttons。〃
atthesewordsfatherchaufourlookedatmewithasmile；andwithhisgreatscissorsbegancuttingthegreenpaperagainforhiscardboardcases。myheartwastouched；andiremainedlostinthought。
hereisstillanothermemberofthatsacredphalanxwho；inthebattleoflife；alwaysmarchinfrontfortheexampleandthesalvationoftheworld！eachofthesebravesoldiershashiswar…cry；forthisoneitis〃country；〃forthat〃home；〃forathird〃mankind；〃buttheyallfollowthesamestandard鈥斺�攖hatofduty；forallthesamedivinelawreigns鈥斺�攖hatofself…sacrifice。tolovesomethingmorethanonesself鈥斺�攖hatisthesecretofallthatisgreat；toknowhowtoliveforothers鈥斺�攖hatistheaimofallnoblesouls。
CHAPTER XI
moraluseofinventories
november13th；nineoclockp。m。
ihadwellstoppedupthechinksofmywindow；mylittlecarpetwasnaileddowninitsplace；mylamp；providedwithitsshade；castasubduedlightaround；andmystovemadealow；murmuringsound；asifsomelivecreaturewassharingmyhearthwithme。
allwassilentaroundme。but；outofdoorsthesnowandrainswepttheroofs；andwithalow；rushingsoundranalongthegurglinggutters；sometimesagustofwindforceditselfbeneaththetiles；whichrattledtogetherlikecastanets；andafterwarditwaslostintheemptycorridor。
thenaslightandpleasurableshiverthrilledthroughmyveins：idrewtheflapsofmyoldwaddeddressing…gownaroundme；ipulledmythreadbarevelvetcapovermyeyes；and；lettingmyselfsinkdeeperintomyeasy…chair；whilemyfeetbaskedintheheatandlightwhichshonethroughthedoorofthestove；igavemyselfuptoasensationofenjoyment；mademorelivelybytheconsciousnessofthestormwhichragedwithout。myeyes；swimminginasortofmist；wanderedoverallthedetailsofmypeacefulabode；theypassedfrommyprintstomybookcase；restinguponthelittlechintzsofa；thewhitecurtainsoftheironbedstead；andtheportfolioofloosepapers鈥斺�攖hosearchivesoftheattics；andthen；returningtothebookiheldinmyhand；theyattemptedtoseizeoncemorethethreadofthereadingwhichhadbeenthusinterrupted。
infact；thisbook；thesubjectofwhichhadatfirstinterestedme；hadbeepainfultome。ihadetotheconclusionthatthepicturesofthewriterweretoosombre。hisdescriptionofthemiseriesoftheworldappearedexaggeratedtome；icouldnotbelieveinsuchexcessofpovertyandofsuffering；neithergodnormancouldshowthemselvessoharshtowardthesonsofadam。theauthorhadyieldedtoanartistictemptation：hewasmakingashowofthesufferingsofhumanity；asneroburnedromeforthesakeofthepicturesque。
takenaltogether；thispoorhumanhouse；sooftenrepaired；somuchcriticised；isstillaprettygoodabode；wemayfindenoughinittosatisfyourwants；ifweknowhowtosetboundstothem；thehappinessofthewisemancostsbutlittle；andasksbutlittlespace。
theseconsolingreflectionsbecamemoreandmoreconfused。atlastmybookfellonthegroundwithoutmyhavingtheresolutiontostoopandtakeitupagain；andinsensiblyoverebytheluxuryofthesilence；thesubduedlight；andthewarmth；ifellasleep。
iremainedforsometimelostinthesortofinsensibilitybelongingtoafirstsleep；atlastsomevagueandbrokensensationscameoverme。
itseemedtomethatthedaygrewdarker；thattheairbecamecolder。
ihalfperceivedbushescoveredwiththescarletberrieswhichforetelltheingofwinter。iwalkedonadrearyroad；borderedhereandtherewithjuniper…treeswhitewithfrost。thenthescenesuddenlychanged。
iwasinthediligence；thecoldwindshookthedoorsandwindows；thetrees；loadedwithsnow；passedbylikeghosts；invainithrustmybenumbedfeetintothecrushedstraw。atlastthecarriagestopped；and；byoneofthosestageeffectssomoninsleep；ifoundmyselfaloneinabarn；withoutafireplace；andopentothewindsonallsides。isawagainmymothersgentleface；knownonlytomeinmyearlychildhood；thenobleandsterncountenanceofmyfather；thelittlefairheadofmysister；whowastakenfromusattenyearsold；allmydeadfamilylivedagainaroundme；theywerethere；exposedtothebitingsofthecoldandtothepangsofhunger。mymotherprayedbytheresignedoldman；andmysister；rolleduponsomeragsofwhichtheyhadmadeherabed；weptinsilence；andheldhernakedfeetinherlittlebluehands。
itwasapagefromthebookihadjustreadtransferredintomyownexistence。
myheartwasoppressedwithinexpressibleanguish。crouchedinacorner；withmyeyesfixeduponthisdismalpicture；ifeltthecoldslowlycreepinguponme；andisaidtomyselfwithbitterness：
〃letusdie；sincepovertyisadungeonguardedbysuspicion；apathy；andcontempt；andfromwhichitisvaintotrytoescape；letusdie；sincethereisnoplaceforusatthebanquetoftheliving！〃
anditriedtorisetojoinmymotheragain；andtowaitatherfeetforthehourofrelease。
thiseffortdispelledmydream；andiawokewithastart。
ilookedaroundme；mylampwasexpiring；thefireinmystoveextinguished；andmyhalf…openeddoorwaslettinginanicywind。
igotup；withashiver；toshutanddouble…lockit；thenimadeforthealcove；andwenttobedinhaste。
butthecoldkeptmeawakealongtime；andmythoughtscontinuedtheinterrupteddream。
thepicturesihadlatelyaccusedofexaggerationnowseemedbutatoofaithfulrepresentationofreality；andiwenttosleepwithoutbeingabletorecovermyoptimism鈥斺�攐rmywarmth。
thusdidacoldstoveandabadlycloseddooraltermypointofview。
allwentwellwhenmybloodcirculatedproperly；alllookedgloomywhenthecoldlaidholdonme。
thisremindsmeofthestoryoftheduchesswhowasobligedtopayavisittotheneighboringconventonawintersday。theconventwaspoor；therewasnowood；andthemonkshadnothingbuttheirdisciplineandtheardoroftheirprayerstokeepoutthecold。theduchess；whowasshiveringwithcold；returnedhome；greatlypityingthepoormonks。
whiletheservantsweretakingoffhercloakandaddingtwomorelogstoherfire；shecalledhersteward；whomsheorderedtosendsomewoodtotheconventimmediately。shethenhadhercouchmovedclosetothefireside；thewarmthofwhichsoonrevivedher。therecollectionofwhatshehadjustsufferedwasspeedilylostinherpresentfort；whenthestewardcameinagaintoaskhowmanyloadsofwoodhewastosend。
〃oh！youmaywait；〃saidthegreatladycarelessly；〃theweatherisverymuchmilder。〃
thus；mansjudgmentsareformedlessfromreasonthanfromsensation；andassensationestohimfromtheoutwardworld；sohefindshimselfmoreorlessunderitsinfluence；bylittleandlittleheimbibesaportionofhishabitsandfeelingsfromit。
itisnot；then；withoutcausethat；whenwewishtojudgeofastrangerbeforehand；welookforindicationsofhischaracterinthecircumstanceswhichsurroundhim。thethingsamongwhichwelivearenecessarilymadetotakeourimage；andweunconsciouslyleaveinthemathousandimpressionsofourminds。aswecanjudgebyanemptybedoftheheightandattitudeofhimwhohassleptinit；sotheabodeofeverymandiscoverstoacloseobservertheextentofhisintelligenceandthefeelingsofhisheart。bernardindest…pierrehasrelatedthestoryofayounggirlwhorefusedasuitorbecausehewouldneverhaveflowersordomesticanimalsinhishouse。perhapsthesentencewassevere；butnotwithoutreason。wemaypresumethatamaninsensibletobeautyandtohumbleaffectionmustbeillpreparedtofeeltheenjoymentsofahappymarriage。
14th；sevenoclockp。m鈥斺�攖hismorning；asiwasopeningmyjournaltowrite；ihadavisitfromouroldcashier。
hissightisnotsogoodasitwas；hishandbeginstoshake；andtheworkhewasabletodoformerlyisnowbeingsomewhatlaborioustohim。ihadundertakentowriteoutsomeofhispapers；andhecameforthoseihadfinished。
weconversedalongtimebythestove；whilehewasdrinkingacupofcoffeewhichimadehimtake。
m。rateauisasensibleman；whohasobservedmuchandspeakslittle；sothathehasalwayssomethingtosay。
whilelookingovertheaccountsihadpreparedforhim；hislookfelluponmyjournal；andiwasobligedtoacknowledgethatinthiswayiwroteadiaryofmyactionsandthoughtseveryeveningforprivateuse。
fromonethingtoanother；ibeganspeakingtohimofmydreamthedaybefore；andmyreflectionsabouttheinfluenceofoutwardobjectsuponourordinarysentiments。hesmiled。
〃ah！you；too；havemysuperstitions；〃hesaid；quietly。〃ihavealwaysbelieved；likeyou；thatyoumayknowthegamebythelair：itisonlynecessarytohavetactandexperience；butwithoutthemwemitourselvestomanyrashjudgments。formypart。ihavebeenguiltyofthismorethanonce；butsometimesihavealsodrawnarightconclusion。
irecollectespeciallyanadventurewhichgoesasfarbackasthefirstyearsofmyyouth鈥斺�敗�
hestopped。ilookedathimasifiwaitedforhisstory；andhetolditmeatonce。
atthistimehewasstillbutthirdclerktoanattorneyatorleans。hismasterhadsenthimtomontargisondifferentaffairs；andheintendedtoreturninthediligencethesameevening；afterhavingreceivedtheamountofabillataneighboringtown；buttheykepthimatthedebtorshouse；andwhenhewasabletosetoutthedayhadalreadyclosed。
fearingnottobeabletoreachmontargisingoodtime；hetookacrossroadtheypointedouttohim。unfortunatelythefogincreased；nostarwasvisibleintheheavens；andthedarknessbecamesogreatthathelosthisroad。hetriedtoretracehissteps；passedtwentyfootpaths；andatlastwaspletelyastray。
afterthevexationoflosinghisplaceinthediligence；camethefeelingofuneasinessastohissituation。hewasalone；onfoot；lostinaforest；withoutanymeansoffindinghisrightroadagain；andwithaconsiderablesumofmoneyabouthim；forwhichhewasresponsible。hisanxietywasincreasedbyhisinexperience。theideaofaforestwasconnectedinhismindwithsomanyadventuresofrobberyandmurder；thatheexpectedsomefatalencountereveryinstant。
tosaythetruth；hissituationwasnotencouraging。theplacewasnotconsideredsafe；andforsometimepasttherehadbeenrumorsofthesuddendisappearanceofseveralhorse…dealers；thoughtherewasnotraceofanycrimehavingbeenmitted。
ouryoungtraveller；withhiseyesstaringforward；andhisearslistening；followedafootpathwhichhesupposedmighttakehimtosomehouseorroad；butwoodsalwayssucceededtowoods。atlastheperceivedalightatadistance；andinaquarterofanhourhereachedthehighroad。
asinglehouse；thelightfromwhichhadattractedhim；appearedatalittledistance。hewasgoingtowardtheentrancegateofthecourtyard；whenthetrotofahorsemadehimturnhishead。amanonhorsebackhadjustappearedattheturningoftheroad；andinaninstantwasclosetohim。
thefirstwordsheaddressedtotheyoungmanshowedhimtobethefarmerhimself。herelatedhowhehadlosthimself；andlearnedfromthecountrymanthathewasontheroadtopithiviers。montargiswasthreeleaguesbehindhim。
thefoghadinsensiblychangedintoadrizzlingrain；whichwasbeginningtowettheyoungclerkthrough；heseemedafraidofthedistancehehadstilltogo；andthehorseman；whosawhishesitation；invitedhimtoeintothefarmhouse。
ithadsomethingofthelookofafortress。surroundedbyaprettyhighwall；itcouldnotbeseenexceptthroughthebarsofthegreatgate；whichwascarefullyclosed。thefarmer；whohadgotoffhishorse；didnotgonearit；but；turningtotheright；reachedanotherentranceclosedinthesameway；butofwhichhehadthekey。
hardlyhadhepassedthethresholdwhenaterriblebarkingresoundedfromeachendoftheyard。thefarmertoldhisguesttofearnothing；andshowedhimthedogschaineduptotheirkennels；bothwereofanextraordinarysize；andsosavagethatthesightoftheirmasterhimselfcouldnotquietthem。
aboy；attractedbytheirbarking；cameoutofthehouseandtookthefarmershorse。thelatterbeganquestioninghimaboutsomeordershehadgivenbeforeheleftthehouse；andwenttowardthestabletoseethattheyhadbeenexecuted。
thusleftalone；ourclerklookedabouthim。
alanternwhichtheboyhadplacedonthegroundcastadimlightoverthecourtyard。allaroundseemedemptyanddeserted。notatracewasvisibleofthedisorderoftenseeninacountryfarmyard；andwhichshowsatemporarycessationoftheworkwhichissoonto
