屋顶间的哲学家_梭维斯特-第17章
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sibleofthedisorderoftenseeninacountryfarmyard；andwhichshowsatemporarycessationoftheworkwhichissoontoberesumedagain。
neitheracartforgottenwherethehorseshadbeenunharnessed；norsheavesofcornheapedupreadyforthreshing；noraplowoverturnedinacornerandhalfhiddenunderthefreshly…cutclover。theyardwasswept；thebarnsshutupandpadlocked。notasinglevinecreepingupthewalls；everywherestone；wood；andiron！
hetookupthelanternandwentuptothecornerofthehouse。behindwasasecondyard；whereheheardthebarkingofathirddog；andacoveredwallwasbuiltinthemiddleofit。
ourtravellerlookedinvainforthelittlefarmgarden；wherepumpkinsofdifferentsortscreepalongtheground；orwherethebeesfromthehiveshumunderthehedgesofhoneysuckleandelder。verdureandflowerswerenowheretobeseen。hedidnotevenperceivethesightofapoultry…yardorpigeon…house。thehabitationofhishostwaseverywherewantinginthatwhichmakesthegraceandthelifeofthecountry。
theyoungmanthoughtthathishostmustbeofaverycarelessoraverycalculatingdisposition；toconcedesolittletodomesticenjoymentsandthepleasuresoftheeye；andjudging；inspiteofhimself；bywhathesaw；hecouldnothelpfeelingadistrustofhischaracter。
inthemeantimethefarmerreturnedfromthestables；andmadehimenterthehouse。
theinsideofthefarmhousecorrespondedtoitsoutside。thewhitewashedwallshadnootherornamentthanarowofgunsofallsizes；themassivefurniturehardlyredeemeditsclumsyappearancebyitsgreatsolidity。
thecleanlinesswasdoubtful；andtheabsenceofallminorconveniencesprovedthatawomanscarewaswantinginthehouseholdconcerns。theyoungclerklearnedthatthefarmer；infact；livedherewithnoonebuthistwosons。
ofthis；indeed；thesignswereplainenough。atablewiththeclothlaid；thatnoonehadtakenthetroubletoclearaway；wasleftnearthewindow。theplatesanddisheswerescattereduponitwithoutanyorder；andloadedwithpotato…paringsandhalf…pickedbones。severalemptybottlesemittedanodorofbrandy；mixedwiththepungentsmelloftobacco…smoke。
afterseatinghisguest；thefarmerlightedhispipe；andhistwosonsresumedtheirworkbythefireside。nowandthenthesilencewasjustbrokenbyashortremark；answeredbyawordoranexclamation；andthenallbecameasmuteasbefore。
〃frommychildhood；〃saidtheoldcashier；〃ihadbeenverysensibletotheimpressionofoutwardobjects；laterinlife；reflectionhadtaughtmetostudythecausesoftheseimpressionsratherthantodrivethemaway。isetmyself；then；toexamineeverythingaroundmewithgreatattention。
〃belowtheguns；ihadremarkedonentering；somewolftrapsweresuspended；andtooneofthemstillhungthemangledremainsofawolfspaw；whichtheyhadnotyettakenofffromtheironteeth。theblackenedchimneypiecewasornamentedbyanowlandaravennailedonthewall；theirwingsextended；andtheirthroatswithahugenailthrougheach；afoxsskin；freshlyflayed；wasspreadbeforethewindow；andalarderhook；fixedintotheprincipalbeam；heldaheadlessgoose；whosebodyswayedaboutoverourheads。
〃myeyeswereoffendedbyallthesedetails；anditurnedthemagainuponmyhosts。thefather；whosatoppositetome；onlyinterruptedhissmokingtopourouthisdrink；oraddresssomereprimandtohissons。
theeldestofthesewasscrapingadeepbucket；andthebloodyscrapings；whichhethrewintothefireeveryinstant；filledtheroomwithadisagreeablefetidsmell；thesecondsonwassharpeningsomebutchersknives。ilearnedfromaworddroppedfromthefatherthattheywerepreparingtokillapigthenextday。
〃theseoccupationsandthewholeaspectofthingsinsidethehousetoldofsuchhabitualcoarsenessintheirwayoflivingasseemedtoexplain；whileitformedthefittingcounterpartof；theforbiddinggloominessoftheoutside。myastonishmentbydegreeschangedintodisgust；andmydisgustintouneasiness。icannotdetailthewholechainofideaswhichsucceededoneanotherinmyimagination；but；yieldingtoanimpulseicouldnotovere；igotup；declaringiwouldgoonmyroadagain。
〃thefarmermadesomeefforttokeepme；hespokeoftherain；ofthedarkness；andofthelengthoftheway。irepliedtoallbytheabsolutenecessitytherewasformybeingatmontargisthatverynight；andthankinghimforhisbriefhospitality；isetoffagaininahastewhichmightwellhaveconfirmedthetruthofmywordstohim。
〃however；thefreshnessofthenightandtheexerciseofwalkingdidnotfailtochangethedirectionsofmythoughts。whenawayfromtheobjectswhichhadawakenedsuchlivelydisgustinme；ifeltitgraduallydiminishing。ibegantosmileatthesusceptibilityofmyfeelings；andthen；inproportionastherainbecameheavierandcolder；thesestricturesonmyselfassumedatoneofill…temper。isilentlyaccusedmyselfoftheabsurdityofmistakingsensationforadmonitionsofmyreason。afterall；werenotthefarmerandhissonsfreetolivealone；tohunt；tokeepdogs；andtokillapig？wherewasthecrimeofit？
withlessnervoussusceptibility；ishouldhaveacceptedthesheltertheyofferedme；andishouldnowbesleepingsnuglyonatrussofstraw；insteadofwalkingwithdifficultythroughthecoldanddrizzlingrain。
ithuscontinuedtoreproachmyself；until；towardmorning；iarrivedatmontargis；jadedandbenumbedwithcold。
〃when；however；igotuprefreshed；towardthemiddleofthenextday；iinstinctivelyreturnedtomyfirstopinion。theappearanceofthefarmhousepresenteditselftomeunderthesamerepulsivecolorswhichtheeveningbeforehaddeterminedmetomakemyescapefromit。reasonitselfremainedsilentwhenreviewingallthosecoarsedetails；andwasforcedtorecognizeinthemtheindicationsofalownature；orelsethepresenceofsomebalefulinfluence。
〃iwentawaythenextdaywithoutbeingabletolearnanythingconcerningthefarmerorhissons；buttherecollectionofmyadventureremaineddeeplyfixedinmymemory。
〃tenyearsafterwardiwastravellinginthediligencethroughthedepartmentoftheloiret；iwasleaningfromthewindow；andlookingatsomecoppicegroundnowforthefirsttimebroughtundercultivation；andthemodeofclearingwhichoneofmytravellingpanionswasexplainingtome；whenmyeyesfelluponawalledinclosure；withaniron…barredgate。insideitiperceivedahousewithalltheblindsclosed；andwhichiimmediatelyrecollected；itwasthefarmhousewhereihadbeensheltered。ieagerlypointeditouttomypanion；andaskedwholivedinit。
〃nobodyjustnow；repliedhe。
〃butwasitnotkept；someyearsago；byafarmerandhistwosons？
〃theturreaus；saidmytravellingpanion；lookingatme；didyouknowthem？
〃isawthemonce。
〃heshookhishead。
〃yes；yes！resumedhe；formanyyearstheylivedtherelikewolvesintheirden；theymerelyknewhowtotillland；killgame；anddrink。thefathermanagedthehouse；butmenlivingalone；withoutwomentolovethem；withoutchildrentosoftenthem；andwithoutgodtomakethemthinkofheaven；alwaysturnintowildbeasts；yousee；soonemorningtheeldestson；whohadbeendrinkingtoomuchbrandy；wouldnotharnesstheplow…horses；hisfatherstruckhimwithhiswhip；andtheson；whowasmaddrunk；shothimdeadwithhisgun。〃
16th；p。m鈥斺�攊havebeenthinkingofthestoryoftheoldcashierthesetwodays；itcamesoopportunelyuponthereflectionsmydreamhadsuggestedtome。
haveinotanimportantlessontolearnfromallthis？
ifoursensationshaveanincontestableinfluenceuponourjudgments；howesitthatwearesolittlecarefulofthosethingswhichawakenormodifythesesensations？theexternalworldisalwaysreflectedinusasinamirror；andfillsourmindswithpictureswhich；unconsciouslytoourselves；beethegermsofouropinionsandofourrulesofconduct。
alltheobjectswhichsurroundusarethen；inreality；somanytalismanswhencegoodandevilinfluencesareemitted；anditisforustochoosethemwisely；soastocreateahealthyatmosphereforourminds。
feelingconvincedofthistruth；isetaboutmakingasurveyofmyattic。
thefirstobjectonwhichmyeyesrestisanoldmapofthehistoryoftheprincipalmonasteryinmynativeprovince。ihadunrolleditwithmuchsatisfaction；andplaceditonthemostconspicuouspartofthewall。whyhadigivenitthisplace？oughtthissheetofoldworm…eatenparchmenttobeofsomuchvaluetome；whoamneitheranantiquarynorascholar？isnotitsrealimportanceinmysightthatoneoftheabbotswhofoundeditboremyname；andthatishall；perchance；beabletomakemyselfagenealogicaltreeofitfortheedificationofmyvisitors？
whilewritingthis；ifeelmyownblushese；downwiththemap！
letusbanishitintomydeepestdrawer。
asipassedmyglass；iperceivedseveralvisitingcardsplacentlydisplayedintheframe。bywhatchanceisitthatthereareonlynamesthatmakeashowamongthem？hereisapolishcount鈥斺�攁retiredcolonel鈥斺�攖hedeputyofmydepartment。quick；quick；intothefirewiththeseproofsofvanity！andletusputthiscardinthehandwritingofouroffice…boy；thisdirectionforcheapdinners；andthereceiptofthebrokerwhereiboughtmylastarmchair；intheirplace。theseindicationsofmypovertywillserve；asmontaignesays；matermasuperbe；andwillalwaysmakemerecollectthemodestyinwhichthedignityofthelowlyconsists。
ihavestoppedbeforetheprintshanginguponthewall。thislargeandsmilingpomona；seatedonsheavesofcorn；andwhosebasketisoverflowingwithfruit；onlyproducesthoughtsofjoyandplenty；iwaslookingathertheotherday；whenifellasleepdenyingsuchathingasmisery。letusgiveheraspanionthispictureofwinter；inwhicheverythingtellsofsorrowandsuffering：onepicturewillmodifytheother。
andthishappyfamilyofgreuzes！whatjoyinthechildrenseyes！
whatsweetreposeintheyoungwomansface！whatreligiousfeelinginthegrandfatherscountenance！maygodpreservetheirhappinesstothem！
butletushangbyitssidethepictureofthismother；whoweepsoveranemptycradle。humanlifehastwofaces；bothofwhichwemustdaretocontemplateintheirturn。
letmehide；too；theseridiculousmonsterswhichornamentmychimneypiece。platohassaidthat〃thebeautifulisnothingelsethanthevisibleformofthegood。〃ifitisso；theuglyshouldbethevisibleformoftheevil；and；byconstantlybeholdingit；themindinsensiblydeteriorates。
butaboveall；inordertocherishthefeelingsofkindnessandpity；letmehangatthefootofmybedthisaffectingpictureofthelastsleep！
neverhaveibeenabletolookatitwithoutfeelingmyhearttouched。
anoldwoman；clothedinrags；islyingbyaroadside；herstickisatherfeet；andherheadrestsuponastone；shehasfallenasleep；herhandsareclasped；murmuringaprayerofherchildhood；shesleepsherlastsleep；shedreamsherlastdream！
sheseesherself；againastrongandhappychild；keepingthesheeponthemon；gatheringtheberriesfromthehedges；singing；curtsyingtopassers…by；andmakingthesignofthecrosswhenthefirststarappearsintheheavens！happytime；filledwithfragranceandsunshine！shewantsnothingyet；forsheisignorantofwhatthereistowishfor。
butseehergrownup；thetimeiseforworkingbravely：shemustcutthecorn；threshthewheat；carrythebundlesoffloweringcloverorbranchesofwitheredleavestothefarm。ifhertoilishard；hopeshineslikeasunovereverythinganditwipesthedropsofsweataway。
thegrowinggirlalreadyseesthatlifeisatask；butshestillsingsasshefulfillsit。
by…and…byetheburdenbeesheavier；sheisawife；sheisamother！
shemusteconomizethebreadofto…day；havehereyeuponthemorrow；takecareofthesick；andsustainthefeeble；shemustact；inshort；thatpartofanearthlyprovidence；soeasywhengodgivesushisaid；sohardwhenheforsakesus。sheisstillstrong；butsheisanxious；shesingsnolonger！
yetafewyears；andallisovercast。thehusbandshealthisbroken；hiswifeseeshimpineawaybythenowfirelesshearth；coldandhungerfinishwhatsicknesshadbegun；hedies；andhiswidowsitsonthegroundbythecoffinprovidedbythecharityofothers；pressinghertwohalf…nakedlittleonesinherarms。shedreadsthefuture；sheweeps；andshedroopsherhead。
atlastthefuturehase；thechildrenaregrownup；buttheyarenolongerwithher。hersonisfightingunderhiscountrysflag；andhissisterisgone。bothhavebeenlosttoherforalongtime鈥斺�攑erhapsforever；andthestronggirl；thebravewife；thecourageousmother；ishenceforthonlyapooroldbeggar…woman；withoutafamily；andwithoutahome！sheweepsnomore；sorrowhassubduedher；shesurrenders；andwaitsfordeath。
death；thatfaithfulfriendofthewretched；ise：nothideousandwithmockery；assuperstitionrepresents；butbeautiful；smiling；andcr
