屋顶间的哲学家_梭维斯特-第3章
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：hemadehimgetup；andhalfdragged；halfsupportedhimtothelodgeoftheporter；whoranforahackneycarriage。
isawthesickmangetintoit；almostfainting；withtheimpatientwaterman；andtheybothsetoff；oneperhapstodie；theothertodineatcourtvillegardens！
sixoclock鈥斺�攊havebeentoknockatmyneighborsdoor；whoopenedithimself；andihavegivenhimhisletter；finishedatlast；anddirectedtohissonswidow。m。antoinethankedmegratefully；andmademesitdown。
itwasthefirsttimeihadbeenintotheatticoftheoldamateur。
curtainsstainedwithdampandhangingdowninrags；acoldstove；abedofstraw；twobrokenchairs；posedallthefurniture。attheendoftheroomwereagreatnumberofprintsinaheap；andpaintingswithoutframesturnedagainstthewall。
atthemomenticamein；theoldmanwasmakinghisdinneronsomehardcrustsofbread；whichhewassoakinginaglassofeausucree。heperceivedthatmyeyesfelluponhishermitfare；andhelookedalittleashamed。
〃thereisnothingtotemptyouinmysupper；neighbor；〃saidhe；withasmile。
irepliedthatatleastithoughtitaveryphilosophicaloneforthecarnival。
m。antoineshookhishead；andwentonagainwithhissupper。
〃everyonekeepshisholidaysinhisownway；〃resumedhe；beginningagaintodipacrustintohisglass。〃thereareseveralsortsofepicures；andnotallfeastsaremeanttoregalethepalate；therearesomealsofortheearsandtheeyes。〃
ilookedinvoluntarilyroundme；asiftoseekfortheinvisiblebanquetwhichcouldmakeuptohimforsuchasupper。
withoutdoubtheunderstoodme；forhegotupslowly；and；withthemagisterialairofamanconfidentinwhatheisabouttodo；herummagedbehindseveralpictureframes；drewforthapainting；overwhichhepassedhishand；andsilentlyplaceditunderthelightofthelamp。
itrepresentedafine…lookingoldman；seatedattablewithhiswife；hisdaughter；andhischildren；andsingingtotheacpanimentofmusicianswhoappearedinthebackground。atfirstsightirecognizedthesubject；whichihadoftenadmiredatthelouvre；andideclaredittobeasplendidcopyofjordaens。
〃acopy！〃criedm。antoine；〃sayanoriginal；neighbor；andanoriginalretouchedbyrubens！lookcloserattheheadoftheoldman；thedressoftheyoungwoman；andtheaccessories。onecancountthepencil…strokesoftheherculesofpainters。itisnotonlyamasterpiece；sir；itisatreasure鈥斺�攁relic！thepictureatthelouvremaybeapearl；thisisadiamond！〃
andrestingitagainstthestove；soastoplaceitinthebestlight；hefellagaintosoakinghiscrusts；withouttakinghiseyesoffthewonderfulpicture。onewouldhavesaidthatthesightofitgavethecrustsanunexpectedrelish；forhechewedthemslowly；andemptiedhisglassbylittlesips。hisshrivelledfeaturesbecamesmooth；hisnostrilsexpanded；itwasindeed；ashesaidhimself；〃afeastfortheeyes。〃
〃youseethatialsohavemytreat；〃heresumed；noddinghisheadwithanairoftriumph。〃othersmayrunafterdinnersandballs；asforme；thisisthepleasureigivemyselfformycarnival。〃
〃butifthispaintingisreallysoprecious；〃repliedi；〃itoughttobeworthahighprice。〃
〃eh！eh！〃saidm。antoine；withanairofproudindifference。〃ingoodtimes；agoodjudgemightvalueitatsomewhereabouttwentythousandfrancs。〃
istartedback。
〃andyouhaveboughtit？〃criedi。
〃fornothing；〃repliedhe；loweringhisvoice。〃thesebrokersareasses；minemistookthisforastudentscopy；heletmehaveitforfiftylouis；readymoney！thismorningitookthemtohim；andnowhewishestobeoffthebargain。〃
〃thismorning！〃repeatedi；involuntarilycastingmyeyesonthelettercontainingtherefusalthatm。antoinehadmademewritetohissonswidow；whichwasstillonthelittletable。
hetooknonoticeofmyexclamation；andwentoncontemplatingtheworkofjordaensinanecstasy。
〃whataknowledgeofchiaroscuro！〃hemurmured；bitinghislastcrustindelight。〃whatrelief！whatfire！wherecanonefindsuchtransparencyofcolor！suchmagicallights！suchforce！suchnature！〃
asiwaslisteningtohiminsilence；hemistookmyastonishmentforadmiration；andclappedmeontheshoulder。
〃youaredazzled；〃saidhemerrily；〃youdidnotexpectsuchatreasure！
whatdoyousaytothebargainihavemade？〃
〃pardonme；〃repliedi；gravely；〃butithinkyoumighthavedonebetter。〃
m。antoineraisedhishead。
〃how！〃criedhe；〃doyoutakemeforamanlikelytobedeceivedaboutthemeritorvalueofapainting？〃
〃ineitherdoubtyourtastenoryourskill；buticannothelpthinkingthat；forthepriceofthispictureofafamilyparty；youmighthavehad鈥斺�敗�
〃whatthen？〃
〃thefamilyitself；sir。〃
theoldamateurcastalookatme；notofanger；butofcontempt。
inhiseyesihadevidentlyjustprovedmyselfabarbarian；incapableofunderstandingthearts；andunworthyofenjoyingthem。hegotupwithoutansweringme；hastilytookupthejordaens；andreplaceditinitshiding…placebehindtheprints。
itwasasortofdismissal；itookleaveofhim；andwentaway。
sevenoclock鈥斺�攚henieinagain；ifindmywaterboilingovermylamp；andibusymyselfingrindingmymocha；andsettingoutmycoffee…things。
thegettingcoffeereadyisthemostdelicateandmostattractiveofdomesticoperationstoonewholivesalone：itisthegrandworkofabachelorshousekeeping。
coffeeis；sotosay；justthemid…pointbetweenbodilyandspiritualnourishment。itactsagreeably；andatthesametime；uponthesensesandthethoughts。itsveryfragrancegivesasortofdelightfulactivitytothewits；itisageniusthatlendswingstoourfancy；andtransportsittothelandofthearabiannights。
wheniamburiedinmyoldeasy…chair；myfeetonthefenderbeforeablazingfire；myearsoothedbythesingingofthecoffee…pot；whichseemstogossipwithmyfire…irons；thesenseofsmellgentlyexcitedbythearomaofthearabianbean；andmyeyesshadedbymycappulleddownoverthem；itoftenseemsasifeachcloudofthefragrantsteamtookadistinctform。asinthemiragesofthedesert；ineachasitrises；iseesomeimageofwhichmymindhadbeenlongingforthereality。
atfirstthevaporincreases；anditscolordeepens。iseeacottageonahillside：behindisagardenshutinbyawhitethornhedge；andthroughthegardenrunsabrook；onthebanksofwhichihearthebeeshumming。
thentheviewopensstillmore。seethosefieldsplantedwithapple…trees；inwhichicandistinguishaploughandhorseswaitingfortheirmaster！fartheron；inapartofthewoodwhichringswiththesoundoftheaxe；iperceivethewoodsmanshut；roofedwithturfandbranches；and；inthemidstofalltheseruralpictures；iseemtoseeafigureofmyselfglidingabout。itismyghostwalkinginmydream！
thebubblingofthewater；readytoboilover；pelsmetobreakoffmymeditations；inordertofillupthecoffee…pot。ithenrememberthatihavenocream；itakemytincanoffthehookandgodowntothemilkwomans。
motherdenisisahalecountrywomanfromsavoy；whichsheleftwhenquiteyoung；and；contrarytothecustomofthesavoyards；shehasnotgonebacktoitagain。shehasneitherhusbandnorchild；notwithstandingthetitletheygiveher；butherkindness；whichneversleeps；makesherworthyofthenameofmother。
abravecreature！leftbyherselfinthebattleoflife；shemakesgoodherhumbleplaceinitbyworking；singing；helpingothers；andleavingtheresttogod。
atthedoorofthemilk…shopihearloudburstsoflaughter。inoneofthecornersoftheshopthreechildrenaresittingontheground。theywearthesootydressofsavoyardboys；andintheirhandstheyholdlargeslicesofbreadandcheese。theyoungestisbesmeareduptotheeyeswithhis；andthatisthereasonoftheirmirth。
motherdenispointsthemouttome。
〃lookatthelittlelambs；howtheyenjoythemselves！〃saidshe；puttingherhandontheheadofthelittleglutton。
〃hehashadnobreakfast；〃putsinoneoftheothersbywayofexcuse。
〃poorlittlething；〃saidthemilkwoman；〃heisleftaloneinthestreetsofparis；wherehecanfindnootherfatherthantheall…goodgod！〃
〃andthatiswhyyoumakeyourselfamothertothem？〃ireplied；gently。
〃whatidoislittleenough；〃saidmotherdenis；measuringoutmymilk；〃buteverydayigetsomeofthemtogetheroutofthestreet；thatforoncetheymayhaveenoughtoeat。dearchildren！theirmotherswillmakeupforitinheaven。nottomentionthattheyrecallmynativemountainstome：whentheysinganddance；iseemtoseeouroldfatheragain。〃
herehereyesfilledwithtears。
〃soyouarerepaidbyyourrecollectionsforthegoodyoudothem？〃
resumedi。
〃yes！yes！〃saidshe；〃andbytheirhappiness；too！thelaughteroftheselittleones；sir；islikeabirdssong；itmakesyougay；andgivesyouhearttolive。〃
asshespokeshecutsomefreshslicesofbreadandcheese；andaddedsomeapplesandahandfulofnutstothem。
〃e；mylittledears；〃shecried；〃puttheseintoyourpocketsagainstto…morrow。〃
then；turningtome：
〃to…dayiamruiningmyself；〃addedshe；〃butwemustallhaveourcarnival。〃
icameawaywithoutsayingaword：iwastoomuchaffected。
atlastihavediscoveredwhattruepleasureis。afterbeholdingtheegotismofsensualityandofintellect；ihavefoundthehappyself…sacrificeofgoodness。pierre；m。antoine；andmotherdenishadallkepttheircarnival；butforthefirsttwo；itwasonlyafeastforthesensesorthemind；whileforthethird；itwasafeastfortheheart。
CHAPTER III
whatwemaylearnbylookingoutofwindow
march3d
apoethassaidthatlifeisthedreamofashadow：hewouldbetterhaveparedittoanightoffever！whatalternatefitsofrestlessnessandsleep！whatdisfort！whatsuddenstarts！whatever…returningthirst！
whatachaosofmournfulandconfusedfancies！wecanneithersleepnorwake；weseekinvainforrepose；andwestopshortonthebrinkofaction。twothirdsofhumanexistencearewastedinhesitation；andthelastthirdinrepenting。
whenisayhumanexistence；imeanmyown！wearesomadethateachofusregardshimselfasthemirrorofthemunity：whatpassesinourmindsinfalliblyseemstousahistoryoftheuniverse。everymanislikethedrunkardwhoreportsanearthquake；becausehefeelshimselfstaggering。
andwhyamiuncertainandrestless鈥斺�攊；apoorday…laborerintheworld鈥斺�攚hofillanobscurestationinacornerofit；andwhoseworkitavailsitselfof；withoutheedingtheworkman？iwilltellyou；myunseenfriend；forwhomtheselinesarewritten；myunknownbrother；onwhomthesolitarycallinsorrow；myimaginaryconfidant；towhomallmonologuesareaddressedandwhoisbuttheshadowofourownconscience。
agreateventhashappenedinmylife！acrossroadhassuddenlyopenedinthemiddleofthemonotonouswayalongwhichiwastravellingquietly；andwithoutthinkingofit。tworoadspresentthemselves；andimustchoosebetweenthem。oneisonlythecontinuationofthatihavefollowedtillnow；theotheriswider；andexhibitswondrousprospects。
onthefirstthereisnothingtofear；butalsolittletohope；ontheotheraregreatdangersandgreatfortune。briefly；thequestionis；whetherishallgiveupthehumbleofficeinwhichithoughttodie；foroneofthoseboldspeculationsinwhichchancealoneisbanker！eversinceyesterdayihaveconsultedwithmyself；ihaveparedthetwoandiremainundecided。
whereshallifindlight鈥斺�攚howilladviseme？
sunday；4th鈥斺�攕eethesuningoutfromthethickfogsofwinter！
springannouncesitsapproach；asoftbreezeskimsovertheroofs；andmywallflowerbeginstoblowagain。
wearenearthatsweetseasonoffreshgreen；ofwhichthepoetsofthesixteenthcenturysangwithsomuchfeeling：
nowthegladsomemonthofmay。
allthingsnewlydotharray；fairestlady；letmetoo。
inthylovemyliferenew。
thechirpingofthesparrowscallsme：theyclaimthecrumbsiscattertothemeverymorning。iopenmywindow；andtheprospectofroofsopensoutbeforemeinallitssplendor。
hewhohaslivedonlyonafirstfloorhasnoideaofthepicturesquevarietyofsuchaview。hehasnevercontemplatedthesetile…coloredheightswhichintersecteachother；hehasnotfollowedwithhiseyesthesegutter…valleys；wherethefreshverdureoftheatticgardenswaves；thedeepshadowswhicheveningspreadsovertheslatedslopes；andthesparklingofwindowswhichthesettingsunhaskindledtoablazeoffire。hehasnotstudiedthefloraofthesealpsofcivilization；carpetedbylichensandmosses；heisnotacquaintedwiththemyriadinhabitantsthatpeoplethem；fromthemicroscopicinsecttothedomesticcat鈥斺�攖hatreynardoftheroofswhoisalwaysontheprowl；orinambush；hehasnotwitnessedthethousandaspectsofaclearoracloudysky；northethou
