appendix-1-第6章

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studded　door　of　the　apartment；　said　he　believed　he　slept；　for　that　after
raging；　stamping；　and　uttering　the　most　horrid　imprecations；　he　had　been
of　late　perfectly　still。　The　Falconer　gently　drew　back　a　sliding　board；　of
a　foot　square；　towards　the　top　of　the　door；　which　covered　a　hole　of　the
same　size；　strongly　latticed；　through　which　the　warder；　without　opening　the
door；　could　look　in　upon　his　prisoner。　From　this　aperture　he　beheld　the
wretched　Gaston　suspended　by　the　neck；　by　his　own　girdle；　to　an　iron　ring
in　the　side　of　his　prison。　He　had　clambered　to　it　by　means　of　the　table
on　which　his　food　had　been　placed；　and　in　the　agonies　of　shame　and　disappointed
malice；　had　adopted　this　mode　of　ridding　himself　of　a　wretched
life。　He　was　found　yet　warm；　but　totally　lifeless。　A　proper　account　of
the　manner　of　his　death　was　drawn　up　and　certified。　He　was　buried　that
evening　in　the　chapel　of　the　castle；　out　of　respect　to　his　high　birth；　and
the　chaplain　of　Fitzallen　of　Marden；　who　said　the　service　upon　the　occasion；
preached；　the　next　Sunday；　an　excellent　sermon　upon　the　text；　_Radix　malorum
est　cupiditas；）　which　we　have　here　transcribed。

* * * * * * *

　　＇Here　the　manuscript；　from　which　we　have　painfully　transcribed；　and
frequently；　as　it　were；　translated　this　tale；　for　the　reader's　edification；　is　so
indistinct　and　defaced；　that；　excepting　certain　howbeits；　nathlesses；　lo　ye's！
etc。；　we　can　pick　out　little　that　is　intelligible；　saving　that　avarice　is　defined
‘‘a　likourishness　of　heart　after　earthly　things。''　A　little　farther；　there
seems　to　have　been　a　gay　account　of　Margery's　wedding　with　Ralph　the
Tasker；　the　running　at　the　quintain；　and　other　rural　games　practised　on
the　occasion。　There　are　also　fragments　of　a　mock　sermon　preached　by
Gregory　upon　that　occasion；　as；　for　example：…

　　‘‘My　dear　cursed　caitiffs；　there　was　once　a　king；　and　he　wedded　a　young
old　queen；　and　she　had　a　child；　and　this　child　was　sent　to　Solomon　the
Sage；　praying　he　would　give　it　the　same　blessing　which　he　got　from　the
witch　of　Endor　when　she　bit　him　by　the　heel。　Hereof　speaks　the　worthy
Dr。　Radigundus　Potator；　why　should　not　mass　be　said　for　all　the　roasted
shoe　souls　served　up　in　the　king's　dish　on　Saturday；　for　true　it　is；　that
St。　Peter　asked　father　Adam；　as　they　journeyed　to　Camelot；　an　high；　great；
and　doubtful　question；　‘Adam；　Adam；　why　eatedst　thou　the　apple　without
paring？'　''

*　　　This　tirade　of　gibberish　is　literally　taken　or　selected　from　a　mock　discourse
*　pronounced　by　a　professed　jester；　which　occurs　in　an　ancient　manuscript　in　the
*　Advocates'　Library；　the　same　from　which　the　late　ingenious　Mr。　Weber　published
*　the　curious　comic　romance　of　the　Hunting　of　the　Hare。　It　was　introduced　in
*　compliance　with　Mr。　Strutt's　plan　of　rendering　his　tale　an　illustration　of　ancient
*　manners。　A　similar　burlesque　sermon　is　pronounced　by　the　Fool　in　Sir　David
*　Lindesay's　satire　of　the　Three　Estates。　The　nonsense　and　vulgar　burlesque　of　that
*　composition　illustrate　the　ground　of　Sir　Andrew　Aguecheek's　eulogy　on　the　exploits
*　of　the　jester　in　Twelfth　Night；　who；　reserving　his　sharper　jests　for　Sir　Toby；　had
*　doubtless　enough　of　the　jargon　of　his　calling　to　captivate　the　imbecility　of　his
*　brother　knight；　who　is　made　to　exclaim…‘‘In　sooth　thou　wast　in　very　gracious
*　fooling　last　night；　when　thou　spokest　of　Pigrogremitus；　and　of　the　vapours　passing
*　the　equinoctials　of　Quenbus；　'twas　very　good；　i'　faith！''　It　is　entertaining　to　find
*　commentators　seeking　to　discover　some　meaning　in　the　professional　jargon　of　such
*　a　passage　as　this。


　　With　much　goodly　gibberish　to　the　same　effect；　which　display　of　Gregory's
ready　wit　not　only　threw　the　whole　company　into　convulsions　of
laughter；　but　made　such　an　impression　on　Rose；　the　Potter's　daughter；
that　it　was　thought　it　would　be　the　Jester's　own　fault　if　Jack　was　long
without　his　Jill。　Much　pithy　matter；　concerning　the　bringing　the　bride　to
bed；　the　loosing　the　bridegroom's　points；　the　scramble　which　ensued　for
them；　and　the　casting　of　the　stocking；　is　also　omitted　from　its　obscurity。

　　The　following　song；　which　has　been　since　borrowed　by　the　worshipful
author　of　the　famous　‘‘History　of　Fryar　Bacon；''　has　been　with　difficulty
deciphered。　It　seems　to　have　been　sung　on　occasion　of　carrying　home　the
bride。

BRIDAL　SONG。

_To　the　tune　of…‘‘I　have　been　a　Fiddler；''　etc。_

And　did　you　not　hear　of　a　mirth　befell
　　　　The　morrow　after　a　wedding　day；
And　carrying　a　bride　at　home　to　dwell？
　　　　And　away　to　Tewin；　away；　away！

The　quintain　was　set；　and　the　garlands　were　made；…
　　　　'Tis　pity　old　customs　should　ever　decay；
And　wo　be　to　him　that　was　horsed　on　a　jade；
　　　　For　he　carried　no　credit　away；　away。

We　met　a　concert　of　fiddle…de…dees；
　　　　We　set　them　a　cockhorse；　and　made　them　play
The　winning　of　Bullen；　and　Upsey…frees；
　　　　And　away　to　Tewin；　away；　away！

There　was　ne'er　a　lad　in　all　the　parish
　　　　That　would　go　to　the　plough　that　day；
But　on　his　fore…horse　his　wench　he　carries；
　　　　And　away　to　Tewin；　away；　away！

The　butler　was　quick；　and　the　ale　he　did　tap：
　　　　The　maidens　did　make　the　chamber　full　gay；
The　servants　did　give　me　a　fuddling　cup；
　　　　And　I　did　carry't　away；　away！

The　smith　of　the　town　his　liquor　so　took；
　　　　That　he　was　persuaded　that　the　ground　looked　blue；
And　I　dare　boldly　be　sworn　on　a　book；
　　　　Such　smiths　as　he　there's　but　a　few。

A　posset　was　made；　and　the　women　did　sip；
　　　　And　simpering　said；　they　could　eat　no　more；
Full　many　a　maiden　was　laid　on　the　lip；…
　　　　I'll　say　no　more；　but　give　o'er　（give　o'er）。


　　But　what　our　fair　readers　will　chiefly　regret；　is　the　loss　of　three　declarations
of　love：　the　first　by　St。　Clere　to　Matilda；　which；　with　the　lady's
answer；　occupies　fifteen　closely…written　pages　of　manuscript。　That　of
Fitzosborne　to　Emma　is　not　much　shorter；　but　the　amours　of　Fitzallen
and　Eleanor；　being　of　a　less　romantic　cast；　are　closed　in　three　pages　only。
The　three　noble　couples　were　married　in　Queenhoo…Hall　upon　the　same
day；　being　the　twentieth　Sunday　after　Easter。　There　is　a　prolix　account
of　the　marriage…feast；　of　which　we　can　pick　out　the　names　of　a　few　dishes；
such　as　peterel；　crane；　sturgeon；　swan；　etc。　etc。；　with　a　profusion　of　wild…fowl
and　venison。　We　also　see　that　a　suitable　song　was　produced　by
Peretto　on　the　occasion；　and　that　the　bishop　who　blessed　the　bridal　beds
which　received　the　happy　couples；　was　no　niggard　of　his　holy　water；　bestowing
half…a…gallon　upon　each　of　the　couches。　We　regret　we　cannot　give
these　curiosities　to　the　reader　in　detail；　but　we　hope　to　expose　the　manuscript
to　abler　antiquaries；　so　soon　as　it　shall　be　framed　and　glazed　by　the
ingenious　artist　who　rendered　that　service　to　Mr。　Ireland's　Shakspeare
MSS。　And　so　（being　unable　to　lay　aside　the　style　to　which　our　pen　is
habituated）；　gentle　reader；　we　bid　thee　heartily　farewell。＇



No。　III。

ANECDOTE　OF　SCHOOL　DAYS；

UPON　WHICH　MR。　THOMAS　SCOTT　PROPOSED　TO　FOUND　A　TALE　OF　FICTION。


　　It　is　well　known　in　the　South　that　there　is　little　or　no　boxing　at　the
Scottish　schools。　About　forty　or　fifty　years　ago；　however；　a　far　more
dangerous　mode　of　fighting；　in　parties　or　factions；　was　permitted　in　the
streets　of　Edinburgh；　to　the　great　disgrace　of　the　police；　and　danger　of　the
parties　concerned。　These　parties　were　generally　formed　from　the　quarters
of　the　town　in　which　the　combatants　resided；　those　of　a　particular　square
or　district　fighting　against　those　of　an　adjoining　one。　Hence　it　happened
that　the　children　of　the　higher　classes　were　often　pitted　against　those　of
the　lower；　each　taking　their　side　according　to　the　residence　of　their　friends。
So　far　as　I　recollect；　however；　it　was　unmingled　either　with　feelings　of
democracy　or　aristocracy；　or　indeed　with　malice　or　ill…will　of　any　kind
towards　the　opposite　party。　In　fact；　it　was　only　a　rough　mode　of　play。
Such　contests　were；　however；　maintained　with　great　vigour；　with　stones；　and
sticks；　and　fisticuffs；　when　one　party　dared　to　charge；　and　the　other　stood
their　ground。　Of　course；　mischief　sometimes　happened：　boys　are　said　to
have　been　killed　at　these　_Bickers；_　as　they　were　called；　and　serious　accidents
certainly　took　place；　as　many　contemporaries　can　bear　witness。

　　The　Author's　father　residing　in　George　Square；　in　the　southern　side　of
Edinburgh；　the　boys　belonging　to　that　family；　with　others　in　the　square；
were　arranged　into　a　sort　of　company；　to　which　a　lady　of　distinction　presented
a　handsome　set　of　colours。　Now　this　company　or　regiment；　as　a
matter　of　course；　was　engaged　in　weekly　warfare　with　the　boys　inhabiting
the　Crosscauseway；　Bristo　Street；　the　Potterrow…in　short；　the　neighbouring
suburbs。　These　last　were　chiefly　of　the　lower　rank；　but　hardy　loons；
who　threw　stones　to　a　hair's…breadth；　and　were　very　rugged　antagonists　at
close　quarters。　The　skirmish　sometimes　lasted　for　a　whole　evening；　until
one　party　or　the　other　was　victorious；　when；　if　ours　were　successful；　we
drove　the　enemy　to　their　quarters；　and　were　usually　chased　back　by　the　reinforcement
of　bigger　lads　who　came　to　their　assistance。　If；　on　the　contrary；
we　were　pursued；　as　was　often　the　case；　into　the　precincts　of　our
square；　we　were　in　our　turn　supported　by　our　elder　brothers；　domestic
servants；　and　similar　auxiliaries。

　　It　followed；　from　our　frequent　opposition　to　each　other；　that；　though
not　knowing　the　names　of　our　enemies；　we　were　yet　well　acquainted　with
their　appearance；　and　had　nick…names　for　the　most　remarkable　of　them。
One　very　active　and　spirited　boy　might　be　considered　as　the　principal　leader
in　the　cohort　of　the　suburbs。　He　was；　I　suppose；　thirteen　or　fourteen
years　old；　finely…made；　tall；　blue…eyed；　with　long　fair　hair；　the　very　picture
of　a　youthful　Goth。　This　lad　was　always　first　in　the　charge；　and　last　in
the　retreat…the　Achilles；　at　once；　and　Ajax；　of　the　Crosscauseway。　He
was　too　formidable　to　us　not　to　have　a　cognomen；　and；　like　that　of　a　knight
of　old；　it　was　taken　from　the　most　remarkable　part　of　his　dress；　being　a
pair　of　old　green　livery　breeches；　which　was　the　principal　part　of　his　clothing；
for；　like　Pentapolin；　according　to　Don　Quixote's　account；　Green…Breeks；
as　we　called　him；　always　entered　the　battle　with　bare　arms；　legs；
and　feet。

　　It　fell；　that　once　upon　a　time；　when　the　combat　was　at　the　thickest；　this
plebeian　champion　headed　a　sudden　charge；　so　rapid　and　furious　that　all
fled　before　him。　He　was　several　paces　before　his　comrades；　and　had
actually　laid　his　hands　on　the　patrician　standard；　when　one　of　our　party；
whom　some　misjudging　friend　had　entrusted　with　a　_couteau　de　chasse；_　or
hanger；　inspired　with　a　zeal　for　the　honour　of　the　corps；　worthy　of　Major
Sturgeon　himself；　struck　poor　Green…Breeks　over　the　head；　with　strength
sufficient　to　cut　him　down。　When　this　was　seen；　the　casualty　was　so　far
beyond　what　had　ever　taken　place　before；　that　both　parties　fled　different
ways；　leaving　poor　Green…Breeks；　with　his　bright　hair　plentifully　dabbled
in　blood；　to　the　care　of　the　watchman；　who　（honest　man）　took　care　not　to
know　who　had　done　the　mischief。　The　bloody　hanger　was　flung　into　one
of　the　Meadow　ditches；　and　solemn　secrecy　was　s