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speeches-literary & social-第13章

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Now; how it comes to pass that after two hundred years; and many

years after a Reform Bill; the house of Commons is so little

changed; I will not stop to inquire。  I will not ask how it happens

that bills which cramp and worry the people; and restrict their

scant enjoyments; are so easily passed; and how it happens that

measures for their real interests are so very difficult to be got

through Parliament。  I will not analyse the confined air of the

lobby; or reduce to their primitive gases its deadening influences

on the memory of that Honourable Member who was once a candidate

for the honour of your … and my … independent vote and interest。  I

will not ask what is that Secretarian figure; full of

blandishments; standing on the threshold; with its finger on its

lips。  I will not ask how it comes that those personal

altercations; involving all the removes and definitions of

Shakespeare's Touchstone … the retort courteous … the quip modest …

the reply churlish … the reproof valiant … the countercheck

quarrelsome … the lie circumstantial and the lie direct … are of

immeasurably greater interest in the House of Commons than the

health; the taxation; and the education; of a whole people。  I will

not penetrate into the mysteries of that secret chamber in which

the Bluebeard of Party keeps his strangled public questions; and

with regard to which; when he gives the key to his wife; the new

comer; he strictly charges her on no account to open the door。  I

will merely put it to the experience of everybody here; whether the

House of Commons is not occasionally a little hard of hearing; a

little dim of sight; a little slow of understanding; and whether;

in short; it is not in a sufficiency invalided state to require

close watching; and the occasional application of sharp stimulants;

and whether it is not capable of considerable improvement?  I

believe that; in order to preserve it in a state of real usefulness

and independence; the people must be very watchful and very jealous

of it; and it must have its memory jogged; and be kept awake when

it happens to have taken too much Ministerial narcotic; it must be

trotted about; and must be bustled and pinched in a friendly way;

as is the usage in such cases。  I hold that no power can deprive us

of the right to administer our functions as a body comprising

electors from all parts of the country; associated together because

their country is dearer to them than drowsy twaddle; unmeaning

routine; or worn…out conventionalities。



This brings me to objection number two。  It is stated that this

Association sets class against class。  Is this so?  (CRIES OF

〃No。〃)  No; it finds class set against class; and seeks to

reconcile them。  I wish to avoid placing in opposition those two

words … Aristocracy and People。  I am one who can believe in the

virtues and uses of both; and would not on any account deprive

either of a single just right belonging to it。  I will use; instead

of these words; the terms; the governors and the governed。  These

two bodies the Association finds with a gulf between them; in which

are lying; newly…buried; thousands on thousands of the bravest and

most devoted men that even England ever bred。  It is to prevent the

recurrence of innumerable smaller evils; of which; unchecked; that

great calamity was the crowning height and the necessary

consummation; and to bring together those two fronts looking now so

strangely at each other; that this Association seeks to help to

bridge over that abyss; with a structure founded on common justice

and supported by common sense。  Setting class against class!  That

is the very parrot prattle that we have so long heard。  Try its

justice by the following example:… A respectable gentleman had a

large establishment; and a great number of servants; who were good

for nothing; who; when he asked them to give his children bread;

gave them stones; who; when they were told to give those children

fish; gave them serpents。  When they were ordered to send to the

East; they sent to the West; when they ought to have been serving

dinner in the North; they were consulting exploded cookery books in

the South; who wasted; destroyed; tumbled over one another when

required to do anything; and were bringing everything to ruin。  At

last the respectable gentleman calls his house steward; and says;

even then more in sorrow than in anger; 〃This is a terrible

business; no fortune can stand it … no mortal equanimity can bear

it!  I must change my system; I must obtain servants who will do

their duty。〃  The house steward throws up his eyes in pious horror;

ejaculates 〃Good God; master; you are setting class against class!〃

and then rushes off into the servants' hall; and delivers a long

and melting oration on that wicked feeling。



I now come to the third objection; which is common among young

gentlemen who are not particularly fit for anything but spending

money which they have not got。  It is usually comprised in the

observation; 〃How very extraordinary it is that these

Administrative Reform fellows can't mind their own business。〃  I

think it will occur to all that a very sufficient mode of disposing

of this objection is to say; that it is our own business we mind

when we come forward in this way; and it is to prevent it from

being mismanaged by them。  I observe from the Parliamentary debates

… which have of late; by…the…bye; frequently suggested to me that

there is this difference between the bull of Spain the bull of

Nineveh; that; whereas; in the Spanish case; the bull rushes at the

scarlet; in the Ninevite case; the scarlet rushes at the bull … I

have observed from the Parliamentary debates that; by a curious

fatality; there has been a great deal of the reproof valiant and

the counter…check quarrelsome; in reference to every case; showing

the necessity of Administrative Reform; by whomsoever produced;

whensoever; and wheresoever。  I daresay I should have no difficulty

in adding two or three cases to the list; which I know to be true;

and which I have no doubt would be contradicted; but I consider it

a work of supererogation; for; if the people at large be not

already convinced that a sufficient general case has been made out

for Administrative Reform; I think they never can be; and they

never will be。  There is; however; an old indisputable; very well

known story; which has so pointed a moral at the end of it that I

will substitute it for a new case:  by doing of which I may avoid;

I hope; the sacred wrath of St。 Stephen's。  Ages ago a savage mode

of keeping accounts on notched sticks was introduced into the Court

of Exchequer; and the accounts were kept; much as Robinson Crusoe

kept his calendar on the desert island。  In the course of

considerable revolutions of time; the celebrated Cocker was born;

and died; Walkinghame; of the Tutor's Assistant; and well versed in

figures; was also born; and died; a multitude of accountants; book…

keepers; and actuaries; were born; and died。  Still official

routine inclined to these notched sticks; as if they were pillars

of the constitution; and still the Exchequer accounts continued to

be kept on certain splints of elm wood called 〃tallies。〃  In the

reign of George III。 an inquiry was made by some revolutionary

spirit; whether pens; ink; and paper; slates and pencils; being in

existence; this obstinate adherence to an obsolete custom ought to

be continued; and whether a change ought not to be effected。



All the red tape in the country grew redder at the bare mention of

this bold and original conception; and it took till 1826 to get

these sticks abolished。  In 1834 it was found that there was a

considerable accumulation of them; and the question then arose;

what was to be done with such worn…out; worm…eaten; rotten old bits

of wood?  I dare say there was a vast amount of minuting;

memoranduming; and despatch…boxing; on this mighty subject。  The

sticks were housed at Westminster; and it would naturally occur to

any intelligent person that nothing could be easier than to allow

them to be carried away for fire…wood by the miserable people who

live in that neighbourhood。  However; they never had been useful;

and official routine required that they never should be; and so the

order went forth that they were to be privately and confidentially

burnt。  It came to pass that they were burnt in a stove in the

House of Lords。  The stove; overgorged with these preposterous

sticks; set fire to the panelling; the panelling set fire to the

House of Lords; the House of Lords set fire to the House of

Commons; the two houses were reduced to ashes; architects were

called in to build others; we are now in the second million of the

cost thereof; the national pig is not nearly over the stile yet;

and the little old woman; Britannia; hasn't got home to…night。



Now; I think we may reasonably remark; in conclusion; that all

obstinate adherence to rubbish which the time has long outlived; is

certain to have in the soul of it more or less that is pernicious

and destructive; and that will some day set fire to something or

other; which; if given boldly to the winds would have been

harmless; but which; obstinately retained; is ruinous。  I believe

myself that when Administrative Reform goes up it will be idle to

hope to put it down; on this or that particular instance。  The

great; broad; and true cause that our public progress is far behind

our private progress; and that we are not more remarkable for our

private wisdom and success in matters of business than we are for

our public folly and failure; I take to be as clearly established

as the sun; moon; and stars。  To set this right; and to clear the

way in the country for merit everywhere:  accepting it equally

whether it be aristocratic or democratic; only asking whether it be

honest or true; is; I take it; the true object of this Association。

This object it seeks to promote by uniting together large numbers

of the people; I hope; of all conditions; to the end that they may

better comprehend; bear in mind; understand themselves; and impress

upon others; the common public duty。  Also; of which there is great

need; that by keeping a vigilant eye on the skirmishers thrown out

from time to time by the Party of Generals; they may see that their

feints and manoeuvres do not oppress the small defaulters and

release the great; and that they do not gull the public with a mere

field…day Review of Reform; instead of an earnest; hard…fought

Battle。  I have had no consultation with any one upon the subject;

but I particularly wish that the directors may devise some means of

enabling intelligent working men to join this body; on easier terms

than subscribers who have larger resources。  I could wish to see

great numbers of them belong to us; because I sincerely believe

that it would be good for the common weal。



Said the noble Lord at the h

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