the professor at the breakfast table-第25章

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out　the　first　of　the　two　words；　to　gratify　his　diabolical　love　of

injustice？



So；　I　say；　we　owe　a　genuine；　substantial　tribute　of　respect　to　these

filtered　intellects　which　have　left　their　womanhood　on　the　strainer。

They　are　so　clear　that　it　is　a　pleasure　at　times　to　look　at　the

world　of　thought　through　them。　　But　the　rose　and　purple　tints　of

richer　natures　they　cannot　give　us；　and　it　is　not　just　to　them　to

ask　it。



Fashionable　society　gets　at　these　rich　natures　very　often　in　a　way

one　would　hardly　at　first　think　of。　　It　loves　vitality　above　all

things；　sometimes　disguised　by　affected　languor；　always　well　kept

under　by　the　laws　of　good…breeding；but　still　it　loves　abundant

life；　opulent　and　showy　organizations；the　spherical　rather　than

the　plane　trigonometry　of　female　architecture；plenty　of　red　blood；

flashing　eyes；　tropical　voices；　and　forms　that　bear　the　splendors　of

dress　without　growing　pale　beneath　their　lustre。　　Among　these　you

will　find　the　most　delicious　women　you　will　ever　meet；women　whom

dress　and　flattery　and　the　round　of　city　gayeties　cannot　spoil；

talking　with　whom；　you　forget　their　diamonds　and　laces；and　around

whom　all　the　nice　details　of　elegance；　which　the　cold…blooded　beauty

next　them　is　scanning　so　nicely；　blend　in　one　harmonious　whole；　too

perfect　to　be　disturbed　by　the　petulant　sparkle　of　a　jewel；　or　the

yellow　glare　of　a　bangle；　or　the　gay　toss　of　a　feather。



There　are　many　things　that　I；　personally；　love　better　than　fashion

or　wealth。　　Not　to　speak　of　those　highest　objects　of　our　love　and

loyalty；　I　think　I　love　ease　and　independence　better　than　the　golden

slavery　of　perpetual　matinees　and　soirees；　or　the　pleasures　of

accumulation。



But　fashion　and　wealth　are　two　very　solemn　realities；　which　the

frivolous　class　of　moralists　have　talked　a　great　deal　of　silly　stuff

about。　　Fashion　is　only　the　attempt　to　realize　Art　in　living　forms

and　social　intercourse。　　What　business　has　a　man　who　knows　nothing

about　the　beautiful；　and　cannot　pronounce　the　word　view；　to　talk

about　fashion　to　a　set　of　people　who；　if　one　of　the　quality　left　a

card　at　their　doors；　would　contrive　to　keep　it　on　the　very　top　of

their　heap　of　the　names　of　their　two…story　acquaintances；　till　it

was　as　yellow　as　the　Codex　Vaticanus？



Wealth；　too；what　an　endless　repetition　of　the　same　foolish

trivialities　about　it！　　Take　the　single　fact　of　its　alleged

uncertain　tenure　and　transitory　character。　　In　old　times；　when　men

were　all　the　time　fighting　and　robbing　each　other；in　those

tropical　countries　where　the　Sabeans　and　the　Chaldeans　stole　all　a

man's　cattle　and　camels；　and　there　were　frightful　tornadoes　and

rains　of　fire　from　heaven；　it　was　true　enough　that　riches　took　wings

to　themselves　not　unfrequently　in　a　very　unexpected　way。　　But；　with

common　prudence　in　investments；　it　is　not　so　now。　　In　fact；　there　is

nothing　earthly　that　lasts　so　well；　on　the　whole；　as　money。　　A　man's

learning　dies　with　him；　even　his　virtues　fade　out　of　remembrance；

but　the　dividends　on　the　stocks　he　bequeaths　to　his　children　live

and　keep　his　memory　green。



I　do　not　think　there　is　much　courage　or　originality　in　giving

utterance　to　truths　that　everybody　knows；　but　which　get　overlaid　by

conventional　trumpery。　　The　only　distinction　which　it　is　necessary

to　point　out　to　feeble…minded　folk　is　this：　that；　in　asserting　the

breadth　and　depth　of　that　significance　which　gives　to　fashion　and

fortune　their　tremendous　power；　we　do　not　indorse　the　extravagances

which　often　disgrace　the　one；　nor　the　meanness　which　often　degrades

the　other。



A　remark　which　seems　to　contradict　a　universally　current　opinion　is

not　generally　to　be　taken　〃neat；〃　but　watered　with　the　ideas　of

common…sense　and　commonplace　people。　　So；　if　any　of　my　young　friends

should　be　tempted　to　waste　their　substance　on　white　kids　and　〃all…

rounds；〃　or　to　insist　on　becoming　millionaires　at　once；　by　anything

I　have　said；　I　will　give　them　references　to　some　of　the　class

referred　to；　well　known　to　the　public　as　providers　of　literary

diluents；　who　will　weaken　any　truth　so　that　there　is　not　an　old

woman　in　the　land　who　cannot　take　it　with　perfect　impunity。



I　am　afraid　some　of　the　blessed　saints　in　diamonds　will　think　I　mean

to　flatter　them。　　I　hope　not；if　I　do；　set　it　down　as　a　weakness。

But　there　is　so　much　foolish　talk　about　wealth　and　fashion；　（which；

of　course；　draw　a　good　many　heartless　and　essentially　vulgar　people

into　the　glare　of　their　candelabra；　but　which　have　a　real

respectability　and　meaning；　if　we　will　only　look　at　them

stereoscopically；　with　both　eyes　instead　of　one；）　that　I　thought　it

a　duty　to　speak　a　few　words　for　them。　　Why　can't　somebody　give　us　a

list　of　things　that　everybody　thinks　and　nobody　says；　and　another

list　of　things　that　everybody　says　and　nobody　thinks？



Lest　my　parish　should　suppose　we　have　forgotten　graver　matters　in

these　lesser　topics；　I　beg　them　to　drop　these　trifles　and　read　the

following　lesson　for　the　day。



　　　　　THE　TWO　STREAMS。



Behold　the　rocky　wall

That　down　its　sloping　sides

Pours　the　swift　rain…drops；　blending；　as　they　fall；

In　rushing　river…tides！



Yon　stream；　whose　sources　run

Turned　by　a　pebble's　edge；

Is　Athabasca；　rolling　toward　the　sun

Through　the　cleft　mountain…ledge。



The　slender　rill　had　strayed；

But　for　the　slanting　stone；

To　evening's　ocean；　with　the　tangled　braid

Of　foam…flecked　Oregon。



So　from　the　heights　of　Will

Life's　parting　stream　descends；

And；　as　a　moment　turns　its　slender　rill；

Each　widening　torrent　bends；



》From　the　same　cradle's　side；

》From　the　same　mother's　knee；

One　to　long　darkness　and　the　frozen　tide；

One　to　the　Peaceful　Sea！









VII



Our　landlady's　daughter　is　a　young　lady　of　some　pretensions　to

gentility。　　She　wears　her　bonnet　well　back　on　her　head；　which　is

known　by　all　to　be　a　mark　of　high　breeding。　　She　wears　her　trains

very　long；　as　the　great　ladies　do　in　Europe。　　To　be　sure；　their

dresses　are　so　made　only　to　sweep　the　tapestried　floors　of　chateaux

and　palaces；　as　those　odious　aristocrats　of　the　other　side　do　not　go

draggling　through　the　mud　in　silks　and　satins；　but；　forsooth；　must

ride　in　coaches　when　they　are　in　full　dress。　　It　is　true；　that；

considering　various　habits　of　the　American　people；　also　the　little

accidents　which　the　best…kept　sidewalks　are　liable　to；　a　lady　who

has　swept　a　mile　of　them　is　not　exactly　in　such　a　condition　that　one

would　care　to　be　her　neighbor。　　But　then　there　is　no　need　of　being

so　hard　on　these　slight　weaknesses　of　the　poor；　dear　women　as　our

little　deformed　gentleman　was　the　other　day。



There　are　no　such　women　as　the　Boston　women；　Sir；he　said。

Forty…two　degrees；　north　latitude；　Rome；　Sir；　Boston；　Sir！　　They　had

grand　women　in　old　Rome；　Sir；and　the　women　bore　such　menchildren

as　never　the　world　saw　before。　　And　so　it　was　here；　Sir。　　I　tell

you；　the　revolution　the　Boston　boys　started　had　to　run　in　woman's

milk　before　it　ran　in　man's　blood；　Sir！



But　confound　the　make…believe　women　we　have　turned　loose　in　our

streets！　where　do　they　come　from？　　Not　out　of　Boston　parlors；　I

trust。　　Why；　there　is　n't　a　beast　or　a　bird　that　would　drag　its　tail

through　the　dirt　in　the　way　these　creatures　do　their　dresses。

Because　a　queen　or　a　duchess　wears　long　robes　on　great　occasions；　a

maid…of…all…work　or　a　factory…girl　thinks　she　must　make　herself　a

nuisance　by　trailing　through　the　street；　picking　up　and　carrying

about　with　her　pah！　that's　what　I　call　getting　vulgarity　into　your

bones　and　marrow。　　Making　believe　be　what　you　are　not　is　the　essence

of　vulgarity。　　Show　over　dirt　is　the　one　attribute　of　vulgar　people。

If　any　man　can　walk　behind　one　of　these　women　and　see　what　she　rakes

up　as　she　goes；　and　not　feel　squeamish；　he　has　got　a　tough　stomach。

I　wouldn't　let　one　of　'em　into　my　room　without　serving　'em　as　David

served　Saul　at　the　cave　in　the　wilderness；cut　off　his　skirts；　Sir！

cut　off　his　skirts！



I　suggested；　that　I　had　seen　some　pretty　stylish　ladies　who　offended

in　the　way　he　condemned。



Stylish　women；　I　don't　doubt；said　the　Little　Gentleman。　Don't

tell　me　that　a　true　lady　ever　sacrifices　the　duty　of　keeping　all

about　her　sweet　and　clean　to　the　wish　of　making　a　vulgar　show。　　I

won't　believe　it　of　a　lady。　　There　are　some　things　that　no　fashion

has　any　right　to　touch；　and　cleanliness　is　one　of　those　things。　　If

a　woman　wishes　to　show　that　her　husband　or　her　father　has　got　money；

which　she　wants　and　means　to　spend；　but　doesn't　know　how；　let　her

buy　a　yard　or　two　of　silk　and　pin　it　to　her　dress　when　she　goes　out

to　walk；　but　let　her　unpin　it　before　she　goes　into　the　house；there

may　be　poor　women　that　will　think　it　worth　disinfecting。　　It　is　an

insult　to　a　respectable　laundress　to　carry　such　things　into　a　house

for　her　to　deal　with。　　I　don't　like　the　Bloomers　any　too　well；in

fact；　I　never　saw　but　one；　and　sheor　he；　or　ithad　a　mob　of　boys

after　her；　or　whatever　you　call　the　creature；　as　if　she　had　been

a…



The　Little　Gentleman　stopped　short；flushed　somewhat；　and　looked

round　with　that　involuntary；　suspicious　glance　which　the　subjects　of

any　bodily　misfortune　are　very　apt　to　cast　round　them。　　His　eye

wandered　over　the　company；　none　of　whom；　excepting　myself　and　one

other；　had；　probably；　noticed　the　movement。　　They　fell　at　last　on

Iris；his　next　neighbor；　you　remember。



We　know　in　a　moment；　on　looking　suddenly　at　a　person；　if　that

person's　eyes　have　been　fixed　on　us。



Sometimes　we　are　conscious　of　it　before　we　turn　so　as　to　see　the

person。　　Strange　secrets　of　curiosity；　of　impertinence；　of　malice；

of　love；　leak　out　in　this　way。　　There　is　no　need　of　Mrs。　Felix

Lorraine's　reflection　in　the　mirror；　to　tell　us　that　she　is　plotting

evil　for　us　behind　our　backs。　　We　know　it；　as　we　know　by　the　ominous

stillness　of　a　child　that　some　mischief　or　other　is　going…on。　　A

young　girl　betrays；　in　a　moment；　that　her　eyes　have　been　feeding　on。

the　face　where　you　find　them　fixed；　and　not　merely　brushing　over　it

with　their　pencils　of　blue　or　brown　light。



A　certain　involuntary　adjustment　assimilates　us；　you　may　also

observe；　to　that　upon　which　we　look。　　Roses　redden　the　cheeks　of　her


who　stoops　to　gather　them；　and　buttercups　turn　little　people's　chins

yellow。　　When　we　look　at　a　vast　landscape；　our　chests　expand　as　if

we　would　enlarge　to　fill　it。　　When　we　examine　a　minute　object；　we

naturally　contract；　not　only　our　foreheads；　but　all　our　dimensions。

If　I　see　two　men　wrestling；　I　wrestle　too；　with　my　limbs　and

features。　　When　a　country…fellow　comes　upon　the　stage；　you　will　see

twenty　faces　in　the　boxes　putting　on　the　bumpkin　expression。　　There

is　no　need　of　multiplying　instances　to　reach　this　generalization；

every　person　and　thing　we　look　upon　puts　its　special　mark　upon　us。

If　this　is　repeated　often　enough；　we　get　a　permanent　resemblance　to

it；　or；　at　least；　a　fi