the professor at the breakfast table-第44章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



were　depending　on　the　words　I　uttered。　　She　followed　me　out　of　the

room；　when　I　had　got　through　my　visit。



How　long？she　said。



Uncertain。　　Any　time；　to…day；next　week；　next　month；I　answered。

One　of　those　cases　where　the　issue　is　not　doubtful；　but　may　be

sudden　or　slow。



The　women　of　the　house　were　kind；　as　women　always　are　in　trouble。

But　Iris　pretended　that　nobody　could　spare　the　time　as　well　as　she；

and　kept　her　place；　hour　after　hour；　until　the　landlady　insisted

that　she'd　be　killin'　herself；　if　she　begun　at　that　rate；　'n'　haf　to

give　up；　if　she　didn't　want　to　be　clean　beat　out　in　less　'n　a　week。



At　the　table　we　were　graver　than　common。　　The　high　chair　was　set

back　against　the　wall；　and　a　gap　left　between　that　of　the　young　girl

and　her　nearest　neighbor's　on　the　right。　　But　the　next　morning；　to

our　great　surprise；　that　good…looking　young　Marylander　had　very

quietly　moved　his　own　chair　to　the　vacant　place。　　I　thought　he　was

creeping　down　that　way；　but　I　was　not　prepared　for　a　leap　spanning

such　a　tremendous　parenthesis　of　boarders　as　this　change　of　position

included。　　There　was　no　denying　that　the　youth　and　maiden　were　a

handsome　pair；　as　they　sat　side　by　side。　　But　whatever　the　young

girl　may　have　thought　of　her　new　neighbor　she　never　seemed　for　a

moment　to　forget　the　poor　little　friend　who　had　been　taken　from　her

side。　　There　are　women；　and　even　girls；　with　whom　it　is　of　no　use　to

talk。　　One　might　as　well　reason　with　a　bee　as　to　the　form　of　his

cell；　or　with　an　oriole　as　to　the　construction　of　his　swinging　nest；

as　try　to　stir　these　creatures　from　their　own　way　of　doing　their　own

work。　　It　was　not　a　question　with　Iris；　whether　she　was　entitled　by

any　special　relation　or　by　the　fitness　of　things　to　play　the　part　of

a　nurse。　　She　was　a　wilful　creature　that　must　have　her　way　in　this

matter。　　And　it　so　proved　that　it　called　for　much　patience　and　long

endurance　to　carry　through　the　duties；　say　rather　the　kind　offices；

the　painful　pleasures；　which　she　had　chosen　as　her　share　in　the

household　where　accident　had　thrown　her。　　She　had　that　genius　of

ministration　which　is　the　special　province　of　certain　women；　marked

even　among　their　helpful　sisters　by　a　soft；　low　voice；　a　quiet

footfall；　a　light　hand；　a　cheering　smile；　and　a　ready　self…surrender

to　the　objects　of　their　care；　which　such　trifles　as　their　own　food；

sleep；　or　habits　of　any　kind　never　presume　to　interfere　with。

Day　after　day；　and　too　often　through　the　long　watches　of　the　night；

she　kept　her　place　by　the　pillow。



That　girl　will　kill　herself　over　me；　Sir；said　the　poor　Little

Gentleman　to　me；　one　day；she　will　kill　herself；　Sir；　if　you　don't

call　in　all　the　resources　of　your　art　to　get　me　off　as　soon　as　may

be。　　I　shall　wear　her　out；　Sir；　with　sitting　in　this　close　chamber

and　watching　when　she　ought　to　be　sleeping；　if　you　leave　me　to　the

care　of　Nature　without　dosing　me。



This　was　rather　strange　pleasantry；　under　the　circumstances。　　But

there　are　certain　persons　whose　existence　is　so　out　of　parallel　with

the　larger　laws　in　the　midst　of　which　it　is　moving；　that　life

becomes　to　them　as　death　and　death　as　life。　How　am　I　getting

along？he　said；　another　morning。　　He　lifted　his　shrivelled　hand；

with　the　death's…head　ring　on　it；　and　looked　at　it　with　a　sad　sort

of　complacency。　　By　this　one　movement；　which　I　have　seen　repeatedly

of　late；　I　know　that　his　thoughts　have　gone　before　to　another

condition；　and　that　he　is；　as　it　were；　looking　back　on　the

infirmities　of　the　body　as　accidents　of　the　past。　　For；　when　he　was

well；　one　might　see　him　often　looking　at　the　handsome　hand　with　the

flaming　jewel　on　one　of　its　fingers。　　The　single　well…shaped　limb

was　the　source　of　that　pleasure　which　in　some　form　or　other　Nature

almost　always　grants　to　her　least　richly　endowed　children。　　Handsome

hair；　eyes；　complexion；　feature；　form；　hand；　foot；　pleasant　voice；

strength；　grace；　agility；　intelligence；how　few　there　are　that　have

not　just　enough　of　one　at　least　of　these　gifts　to　show　them　that　the

good　Mother；　busy　with　her　millions　of　children；　has　not　quite

forgotten　them！　　But　now　he　was　thinking　of　that　other　state；　where；

free　from　all　mortal　impediments；　the　memory　of　his　sorrowful　burden

should　be　only　as　that　of　the　case　he　has　shed　to　the　insect　whose

〃deep…damasked　wings〃　beat　off　the　golden　dust　of　the　lily…anthers；

as　he　flutters　in　the　ecstasy　of　his　new　life　over　their　full…blown

summer　glories。



No　human　being　can　rest　for　any　time　in　a　state　of　equilibrium；

where　the　desire　to　live　and　that　to　depart　just　balance　each　other。

If　one　has　a　house；　which　he　has　lived　and　always　means　to　live　in；

he　pleases　himself　with　the　thought　of　all　the　conveniences　it

offers　him；　and　thinks　little　of　its　wants　and　imperfections。　　But

once　having　made　up　his　mind　to　move　to　a　better；　every　incommodity

starts　out　upon　him；　until　the　very　ground…plan　of　it　seems　to　have

changed　in　his　mind；　and　his　thoughts　and　affections；　each　one　of

them　packing　up　its　little　bundle　of　circumstances；　have　quitted

their　several　chambers　and　nooks　and　migrated　to　the　new　home；　long

before　its　apartments　are　ready　to　receive　their　coming　tenant。　　It

is　so　with　the　body。　　Most　persons　have　died　before　they　expire；

died　to　all　earthly　longings；　so　that　the　last　breath　is　only；　as　it

were；　the　locking　of　the　door　of　the　already　deserted　mansion。　　The

fact　of　the　tranquillity　with　which　the　great　majority　of　dying

persons　await　this　locking　of　those　gates　of　life　through　which　its

airy　angels　have　been　going　and　coming；　from　the　moment　of　the　first

cry；　is　familiar　to　those　who　have　been　often　called　upon　to　witness

the　last　period　of　life。　　Almost　always　there　is　a　preparation　made

by　Nature　for　unearthing　a　soul；　just　as　on　the　smaller　scale　there

is　for　the　removal　of　a　milktooth。　　The　roots　which　hold　human　life

to　earth　are　absorbed　before　it　is　lifted　from　its　place。　　Some　of

the　dying　are　weary　and　want　rest；　the　idea　of　which　is　almost

inseparable　in　the　universal　mind　from　death。　　Some　are　in　pain；　and

want　to　be　rid　of　it；　even　though　the　anodyne　be　dropped；　as　in　the

legend；　from　the　sword　of　the　Death…Angel。　　Some　are　stupid；

mercifully　narcotized　that　they　may　go　to　sleep　without　long　tossing

about。　　And　some　are　strong　in　faith　and　hope；　so　that；　as　they　draw

near　the　next　world；　they　would　fair　hurry　toward　it；　as　the　caravan

moves　faster　over　the　sands　when　the　foremost　travellers　send　word

along　the　file　that　water　is　in　sight。　　Though　each　little　party

that　follows　in　a　foot…track　of　its　own　will　have　it　that　the　water

to　which　others　think　they　are　hastening　is　a　mirage；　not　the　less

has　it　been　true　in　all　ages　and　for　human　beings　of　every　creed

which　recognized　a　future；　that　those　who　have　fallen　worn　out　by

their　march　through　the　Desert　have　dreamed　at　least　of　a　River　of

Life；　and　thought　they　heard　its　murmurs　as　they　lay　dying。



The　change　from　the　clinging　to　the　present　to　the　welcoming　of　the

future　comes　very　soon；　for　the　most　part；　after　all　hope　of　life　is

extinguished；　provided　this　be　left　in　good　degree　to　Nature；　and

not　insolently　and　cruelly　forced　upon　those　who　are　attacked　by

illness；　on　the　strength　of　that　odious　foreknowledge　often　imparted

by　science；　before　the　white　fruit　whose　core　is　ashes；　and　which　we

call　death；　has　set　beneath　the　pallid　and　drooping　flower　of

sickness。　　There　is　a　singular　sagacity　very　often　shown　in　a

patient's　estimate　of　his　own　vital　force。　　His　physician　knows　the

state　of　his　material　frame　well　enough；　perhaps；that　this　or　that

organ　is　more　or　less　impaired　or　disintegrated；　but　the　patient　has

a　sense　that　he　can　hold　out　so　much　longer；sometimes　that　he　must

and　will　live　for　a　while；　though　by　the　logic　of　disease　he　ought

to　die　without　any　delay。



The　Little　Gentleman　continued　to　fail；　until　it　became　plain　that

his　remaining　days　were　few。　　I　told　the　household　what　to　expect。

There　was　a　good　deal　of　kind　feeling　expressed　among　the　boarders；

in　various　modes；　according　to　their　characters　and　style　of

sympathy。　　The　landlady　was　urgent　that　he　should　try　a　certain

nostrum　which　had　saved　somebody's　life　in　jest　sech　a　case。　　The

Poor　Relation　wanted　me　to　carry；　as　from　her；　a　copy　of　〃Allein's

Alarm；〃　etc。　　I　objected　to　the　title；　reminding　her　that　it

offended　people　of　old；　so　that　more　than　twice　as　many　of　the　book

were　sold　when　they　changed　the　name　to　〃A　Sure　Guide　to　Heaven。〃

The　good　old　gentleman　whom　I　have　mentioned　before　has　come　to　the

time　of　life　when　many　old　men　cry　easily；　and　forget　their　tears　as

children　do。　He　was　a　worthy　gentleman；he　said；a　very　worthy

gentleman；　but　unfortunate；very　unfortunate。　　Sadly　deformed　about

the　spine　and　the　feet。　　Had　an　impression　that　the　late　Lord　Byron

had　some　malformation　of　this　kind。　　Had　heerd　there　was　something

the　matter　with　the　ankle…j'ints　of　that　nobleman；　but　he　was　a　man

of　talents。　　This　gentleman　seemed　to　be　a　man　of　talents。　　Could

not　always　agree　with　his　statements；thought　he　was　a　little　over…

partial　to　this　city；　and　had　some　free　opinions；　but　was　sorry　to

lose　him；and　ifthere　was　anythinghecould。　　In　the　midst　of

these　kind　expressions；　the　gentleman　with　the　diamond；　the　Koh…i…

noor；　as　we　called　him；　asked；　in　a　very　unpleasant　sort　of　way；　how

the　old　boy　was　likely　to　cut　up；meaning　what　money　our　friend　was

going　to　leave　behind。



The　young　fellow　John　spoke　up；　to　the　effect　that　this　was　a

diabolish　snobby　question；　when　a　man　was　dying　and　not　dead。　To

this　the　Koh…i…noor　replied；　by　asking　if　the　other　meant　to　insult

him。　　Whereto　the　young　man　John　rejoined　that　he　had　no　particul'r

intentions　one　way　or　t'other。　…The　Kohi…noor　then　suggested　the

young　man's　stepping　out　into　the　yard；　that　he；　the　speaker；　might

〃slap　his　chops。〃　Let　'em　alone；　said　young　Maryland；it　'll　soon

be　over；　and　they　won't　hurt　each　other　much。　So　they　went　out。



The　Koh…i…noor　entertained　the　very　common　idea；　that；　when　one

quarrels　with　another；　the　simple　thing　to　do　is　to　knock　the　man

down；　and　there　is　the　end　of　it。　　Now　those　who　have　watched　such

encounters　are　aware　of　two　things：　first；　that　it　is　not　so　easy　to

knock　a　man　down　as　it　is　to　talk　about　it；　secondly；　that；　if　you

do　happen　to　knock　a　man　down；　there　is　a　very　good　chance　that　he

will　be　angry；　and　get　up　and　give　you　a　thrashing。



So　the　Koh…i…noor　thought　he　would　begin；　as　soon　as　they　got　into

the　yard；　by　knocking　his　man　down；　and　with　this　intention　swung

his　arm　round　after　the　fashion　of　rustics　and　those　unskilled　in

the　noble　art；　expecting　the　young　fellow　John　to　drop　when　his

fist；　having　completed　a　quarter　of　a　circle；　should　come　in　contact

with　the　side　of　that　young　man's　head。　　Unfortunately　for　this

theory；　it　happens　that　a　blow　struck　out　straight　is　as　mu