the professor at the breakfast table-第47章

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We　look　with　reverence　and　affection　upon　all　symbols　which　give

peace　and　comfort　to　our　fellow…creatures。　　But　the　value　of　the

new…born　child's　passive　consent　to　the　ceremony　is　null；　as

testimony　to　the　truth　of　a　doctrine。　　The　automatic　closing　of　a

dying　man's　lips　on　the　consecrated　wafer　proves　nothing　in　favor　of

the　Real　Presence；　or　any　other　dogma。　　And；　speaking　generally；　the

evidence　of　dying　men　in　favor　of　any　belief　is　to　be　received　with

great　caution。



They　commonly　tell　the　truth　about　their　present　feelings；　no　doubt。

A　dying　man's　deposition　about　anything　he　knows　is　good　evidence。

But　it　is　of　much　less　consequence　what　a　man　thinks　and　says　when

he　is　changed　by　pain；　weakness；　apprehension；　than　what　he　thinks

when　he　is　truly　and　wholly　himself。　　Most　murderers　die　in　a　very

pious　frame　of　mind；　expecting　to　go　to　glory　at　once；　yet　no　man

believes　he　shall　meet　a　larger　average　of　pirates　and　cut…throats

in　the　streets　of　the　New　Jerusalem　than　of　honest　folks　that　died

in　their　beds。



Unfortunately；　there　has　been　a　very　great　tendency　to　make　capital

of　various　kinds　out　of　dying　men's　speeches。　　The　lies　that　have

been　put　into　their　mouths　for　this　purpose　are　endless。　　The　prime

minister；　whose　last　breath　was　spent　in　scolding　his　nurse；　dies

with　a　magnificent　apothegm　on　his　lips；　manufactured　by　a　reporter。

Addison　gets　up　a　tableau　and　utters　an　admirable　sentiment；or

somebody　makes　the　posthumous　dying　epigram　for　him。　　The　incoherent

babble　of　green　fields　is　translated　into　the　language　of　stately

sentiment。　　One　would　think；　all　that　dying　men　had　to　do　was　to　say

the　prettiest　thing　they　could；to　make　their　rhetorical　point；

and　then　bow　themselves　politely　out　of　the　world。



Worse　than　this　is　the　torturing　of　dying　people　to　get　their

evidence　in　favor　of　this　or　that　favorite　belief。　　The　camp…

followers　of　proselyting　sects　have　come　in　at　the　close　of　every

life　where　they　could　get　in；　to　strip　the　languishing　soul　of　its

thoughts；　and　carry　them　off　as　spoils。　　The　Roman　Catholic　or　other

priest　who　insists　on　the　reception　of　his　formula　means　kindly；　we

trust；　and　very　commonly　succeeds　in　getting　the　acquiescence　of　the

subject　of　his　spiritual　surgery；　but　do　not　let　us　take　the

testimony　of　people　who　are　in　the　worst　condition　to　form　opinions

as　evidence　of　the　truth　or　falsehood　of　that　which　they　accept。　　A

lame　man's　opinion　of　dancing　is　not　good　for　much。　　A　poor　fellow

who　can　neither　eat　nor　drink；　who　is　sleepless　and　full　of　pains；

whose　flesh　has　wasted　from　him；　whose　blood　is　like　water；　who　is

gasping　for　breath；　is　not　in　a　condition　to　judge　fairly　of　human

life；　which　in　all　its　main　adjustments　is　intended　for　men　in　a

normal；　healthy　condition。　　It　is　a　remark　I　have　heard　from　the

wise　Patriarch　of　the　Medical　Profession　among　us；　that　the　moral

condition　of　patients　with　disease　above　the　great　breathing…muscle；

the　diaphragm；　is　much　more　hopeful　than　that　of　patients　with

disease　below　it；　in　the　digestive　organs。　　Many　an　honest　ignorant

man　has　given　us　pathology　when　he　thought　he　was　giving　us

psychology。　　With　this　preliminary　caution　I　shall　proceed　to　the

story　of　the　Little　Gentleman's　leaving　us。



When　the　divinity…student　found　that　our　fellow…boarder　was　not

likely　to　remain　long　with　us；　he；　being　a　young　man　of　tender

conscience　and　kindly　nature；　was　not　a　little　exercised　on　his

behalf。　　It　was　undeniable　that　on　several　occasions　the　Little

Gentleman　had　expressed　himself　with　a　good　deal　of　freedom　on　a

class　of　subjects　which；　according　to　the　divinity…student；　he　had

no　right　to　form　an　opinion　upon。　　He　therefore　considered　his

future　welfare　in　jeopardy。



The　Muggletonian　sect　have　a　very　odd　way　of　dealing　with　people。

If　I；　the　Professor；　will　only　give　in　to　the　Muggletonian　doctrine；

there　shall　be　no　question　through　all　that　persuasion　that　I　am

competent　to　judge　of　that　doctrine；　nay；　I　shall　be　quoted　as

evidence　of　its　truth；　while　I　live；　and　cited；　after　I　am　dead；　as

testimony　in　its　behalf。　　But　if　I　utter　any　ever　so　slight　Anti…

Muggletonian　sentiment；　then　I　become　incompetent　to　form　any

opinion　on　the　matter。　　This；　you　cannot　fail　to　observe；　is　exactly

the　way　the　pseudo…sciences　go　to　work；　as　explained　in　my　Lecture

on　Phrenology。　　Now　I　hold　that　he　whose　testimony　would　be　accepted

in　behalf　of　the　Muggletonian　doctrine　has　a　right　to　be　heard

against　it。　　Whoso　offers　me　any　article　of　belief　for　my　signature

implies　that　I　am　competent　to　form　an　opinion　upon　it；　and　if　my

positive　testimony　in　its　favor　is　of　any　value；　then　my　negative

testimony　against　it　is　also　of　value。



I　thought　my　young　friend's　attitude　was　a　little　too　much　like　that

of　the　Muggletonians。　　I　also　remarked　a　singular　timidity　on　his

part　lest　somebody　should　〃unsettle　〃　somebody's　faith；as　if　faith

did　not　require　exercise　as　much　as　any　other　living　thing；　and　were

not　all　the　better　for　a　shaking　up　now　and　then。　　I　don't　mean　that

it　would　be　fair　to　bother　Bridget；　the　wild　Irish　girl；　or　Joice

Heth；　the　centenarian；　or　any　other　intellectual　non…combatant；　but

all　persons　who　proclaim　a　belief　which　passes　judgment　on　their

neighbors　must　be　ready　to　have　it　〃unsettled；〃　that　is；　questioned；

at　all　times　and　by　anybody；just　as　those　who　set　up　bars　across　a

thoroughfare　must　expect　to　have　them　taken　down　by　every　one　who

wants　to　pass；　if　he　is　strong　enough。



Besides；　to　think　of　trying　to　water…proof　the　American　mind　against

the　questions　that　Heaven　rains　down　upon　it　shows　a　misapprehension

of　our　new　conditions。　　If　to　question　everything　be　unlawful　and

dangerous；　we　had　better　undeclare　our　independence　at　once；　for

what　the　Declaration　means　is　the　right　to　question　everything；　even

the　truth　of　its　own　fundamental　proposition。



The　old…world　order　of　things　is　an　arrangement　of　locks　and　canals；

where　everything　depends　on　keeping　the　gates　shut；　and　so　holding

the　upper　waters　at　their　level；　but　the　system　under　which　the

young　republican　American　is　born　trusts　the　whole　unimpeded　tide　of

life　to　the　great　elemental　influences；　as　the　vast　rivers　of　the

continent　settle　their　own　level　in　obedience　to　the　laws　that

govern　the　planet　and　the　spheres　that　surround　it。



The　divinity…student　was　not　quite　up　to　the　idea　of　the

commonwealth；　as　our　young　friend　the　Marylander；　for　instance；

understood　it。　　He　could　not　get　rid　of　that　notion　of　private

property　in　truth；　with　the　right　to　fence　it　in；　and　put　up　a　sign…

board；　thus：



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　ALL　TRESPASSERS　ARE　WARNED　OFF　THESE

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　GROUNDS！



He　took　the　young　Marylander　to　task　for　going　to　the　Church　of　the

Galileans；　where　he　had　several　times　accompanied　Iris　of　late。



I　am　a　Churchman；the　young　man　said；by　education　and　habit。　　I

love　my　old　Church　for　many　reasons；　but　most　of　all　because　I　think

it　has　educated　me　out　of　its　own　forms　into　the　spirit　of　its


highest　teachings。　　I　think　I　belong　to　the　〃Broad　Church；〃　if　any

of　you　can　tell　what　that　means。



I　had　the　rashness　to　attempt　to　answer　the　question　myself。　Some

say　the　Broad　Church　means　the　collective　mass　of　good　people　of　all

denominations。　　Others　say　that　such　a　definition　is　nonsense；　that

a　church　is　an　organization；　and　the　scattered　good　folks　are　no

organization　at　all。　　They　think　that　men　will　eventually　come

together　on　the　basis　of　one　or　two　or　more　common　articles　of

belief；　and　form　a　great　unity。　　Do　they　see　what　this　amounts　to？

It　means　an　equal　division　of　intellect！　　It　is　mental　agrarianism！

a　thing　that　never　was　and　never　will　be　until　national　and

individual　idiosyncrasies　have　ceased　to　exist。　　The　man　of　thirty…

nine　beliefs　holds　the　man　of　one　belief　a　pauper；　he　is　not　going

to　give　up　thirty…eight　of　them　for　the　sake　of　fraternizing　with

the　other　in　the　temple　which　bears　on　its　front；　〃Deo　erexit

Voltaire。〃　　A　church　is　a　garden；　I　have　heard　it　said；　and　the

illustration　was　neatly　handled。　　Yes；　and　there　is　no　such　thing　as

a　broad　garden。　　It　must　be　fenced　in；　and　whatever　is　fenced　in　is

narrow。　　You　cannot　have　arctic　and　tropical　plants　growing　together

in　it；　except　by　the　forcing　system；　which　is　a　mighty　narrow　piece

of　business。　　You　can't　make　a　village　or　a　parish　or　a　family　think

alike；　yet　you　suppose　that　you　can　make　a　world　pinch　its　beliefs

or　pad　them　to　a　single　pattern！　　Why；　the　very　life　of　an

ecclesiastical　organization　is　a　life　of　induction；　a　state　of

perpetually　disturbed　equilibrium　kept　up　by　another　charged　body　in

the　neighborhood。　　If　the　two　bodies　touch　and　share　their

respective　charges；　down　goes　the　index　of　the　electrometer！



Do　you　know　that　every　man　has　a　religious　belief　peculiar　to

himself？　　Smith　is　always　a　Smithite。　　He　takes　in　exactly　Smith's…

worth　of　knowledge；　Smith's…worth　of　truth；　of　beauty；　of　divinity。

And　Brown　has　from　time　immemorial　been　trying　to　burn　him；　to

excommunicate　him；　to　anonymous…article　him；　because　he　did　not　take

in　Brown's…worth　of　knowledge；　truth；　beauty；　divinity。　　He　cannot

do　it；　any　more　than　a　pint…pot　can　hold　a　quart；　or　a　quart…pot　be

filled　by　a　pint。　　Iron　is　essentially　the　same　everywhere　and

always；　but　the　sulphate　of　iron　is　never　the　same　as　the　carbonate

of　iron。　　Truth　is　invariable；　but　the　Smithate　of　truth　must　always

differ　from　the　Brownate　of　truth。



The　wider　the　intellect；　the　larger　and　simpler　the　expressions　in

which　its　knowledge　is　embodied。　　The　inferior　race；　the　degraded

and　enslaved　people；　the　small…minded　individual；　live　in　the

details　which　to　larger　minds　and　more　advanced　tribes　of　men　reduce

themselves　to　axioms　and　laws。　　As　races　and　individual　minds　must

always　differ　just　as　sulphates　and　carbonates　do；　I　cannot　see

ground　for　expecting　the　Broad　Church　to　be　founded　on　any　fusion　of

intellectual　beliefs；　which　of　course　implies　that　those　who　hold

the　larger　number　of　doctrines　as　essential　shall　come　down　to　those

who　hold　the　smaller　number。　　These　doctrines　are　to　the　negative

aristocracy　what　the　quarterings　of　their　coats　are　to　the　positive

orders　of　nobility。



The　Broad　Church；　I　think；　will　never　be　based　on　anything　that

requires　the　use　of　language。　Freemasonry　gives　an　idea　of　such　a

church；　and　a　brother　is　known　and　cared　for　in　a　strange　land　where

no　word　of　his　can　be　understood。　　The　apostle　of　this　church　may　be

a　deaf　mute　carrying　a　cup　of　cold　water　to　a　thirsting

fellow…creature。　　The　cup　of　cold　water　does　not　require　to　be

translated　for　a　foreigner　to　understand　it。　　I　am　afraid　the　only

Broad　Church　possible　is　one　that　has　its　creed　in　the　heart；　and

not　in　the　head；that　we　shall　know　its　members　by　their　fruits；

and　not　by　their　words。　　If