the professor at the breakfast table-第9章

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Wants　the　care　of　some　capable　nuss。　　Never　pitied　anybody　more　in

her　lifenever　see　a　more　interestin'　person。



My　intention　was；　when　I　began　making　these　notes；　to　let　them

consist　principally　of　conversations　between　myself　and　the　other

boarders。　　So　they　will；　very　probably；　but　my　curiosity　is　excited

about　this　little　boarder　of　ours；　and　my　reader　must　not　be

disappointed；　if　I　sometimes　interrupt　a　discussion　to　give　an

account　of　whatever　fact　or　traits　I　may　discover　about　him。　　It　so

happens　that　his　room　is　next　to　mine；　and　I　have　the　opportunity　of

observing　many　of　his　ways　without　any　active　movements　of　curiosity。

That　his　room　contains　heavy　furniture；　that　he　is　a　restless　little

body　and　is　apt　to　be　up　late；　that　he　talks　to　himself；　and　keeps

mainly　to　himself；　is　nearly　all　I　have　yet　found　out。



One　curious　circumstance　happened　lately　which　I　mention　without

drawing　an　absolute　inference。　　Being　at　the　studio　of　a　sculptor

with　whom　I　am　acquainted；　the　other　day；　I　saw　a　remarkable　cast　of

a　left　arm。　　On　my　asking　where　the　model　came　from；　he　said　it　was

taken　direct　from　the　arm　of　a　deformed　person；　who　had　employed　one

of　the　Italian　moulders　to　make　the　cast。　　It　was　a　curious　case；　it

should　seem；　of　one　beautiful　limb　upon　a　frame　otherwise　singularly

imperfectI　have　repeatedly　noticed　this　little　gentleman's　use　of

his　left　arm。　　Can　he　have　furnished　the　model　I　saw　at　the

sculptor's？



So　we　are　to　have　a　new　boarder　to…morrow。　　I　hope　there　will　be

something　pretty　and　pleasing　about　her。　　A　woman　with　a　creamy

voice；　and　finished　in　alto　rilievo；　would　be　a　variety　in　the

boarding…house；a　little　more　marrow　and　a　little　less　sinew　than

our　landlady　and　her　daughter　and　the　bombazine…clad　female；　all　of

whom　are　of　the　turkey…drumstick　style　of　organization。　　I　don't　mean

that　these　are　our　only　female　companions；　but　the　rest　being

conversational　non…combatants；　mostly　still；　sad　feeders；　who　take　in

their　food　as　locomotives　take　in　wood　and　water；　and　then　wither

away　from　the　table　like　blossoms　that　never　came　to　fruit；　I　have

not　yet　referred　to　them　as　individuals。



I　wonder　what　kind　of　young　person　we　shall　see　in　that　empty　chair

to…morrow！



I　read　this　song　to　the　boarders　after　breakfast　the　other　morning。

It　was　written　for　our　fellows；you　know　who　they　are；　of　course。







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　THE　BOYS。



Has　there　any　old　fellow　got　mixed　with　the　boys？

If　there　has；　take　him　out；　without　making　a　noise！

Hang　the　Almanac's　cheat　and　the　Catalogue's　spite！

Old　Time　is　a　liar！　　We're　twenty　to…night！



We're　twenty！　　We're　twenty！　　Who　says　we　are　more？

He's　tipsy；young　jackanapes！show　him　the　door！

〃Gray　temples　at　twenty？〃Yes！　　white；　if　we　please；

Where　the　snow…flakes　fall　thickest　there's　nothing　can　freeze！



Was　it　snowing　I　spoke　of？　　Excuse　the　mistake！

Look　close；you　will　see　not　a　sign　of　a　flake；

We　want　some　new　garlands　for　those　we　have　shed；

And　these　are　white　roses　in　place　of　the　red！



We've　a　trick；　we　young　fellows；　you　may　have　been　told。

Of　talking　（in　public）　as　if　we　were　old；

That　boy　we　call　Doctor；〃　（1）　and　this　we　call　Judge　（2）

It's　a　neat　little　fiction；of　course　it's　all　fudge。



That　fellow's　the　Speaker；〃（3）the　one　on　the　right；

Mr。　Mayor；〃（4）　my　young　one；　how　are　you　to…night？

That's　our　〃Member　of　Congress；〃（5）　we　say　when　we　chaff；

There's　the　〃Reverend〃（6）　What's　his　name？don't　make　me　laugh！



That　boy　with　the　grave　mathematical　look（7）

Made　believe　he　had　written　a　wonderful　book；

And　the　ROYAL　SOCIETY　thought　it　was　true！

So　they　chose　him　right　in；　a　good　joke　it　was；　too。



There's　a　boy；we　pretend；with　a　three…decker…brain

That　could　harness　a　team　with　a　logical　chain：

When　he　spoke　for　our　manhood　in　syllabled　fire；

We　called　him　〃The　Justice；〃but　now　he's　〃The　Squire。〃（1）



And　there's　a　nice　youngster　of　excellent　pith；（2）

Fate　tried　to　conceal　him　by　naming　him　Smith；

But　he　shouted　a　song　for　the　brave　and　the　free；

Just　read　on　his　medal；My　country；of　thee！　〃



You　hear　that　boy　laughing？you　think　he's　all　fun；

But　the　angels　laugh；　too；　at　the　good　he　has　done；

The　children　laugh　loud　as　they　troop　to　his　call；

And　the　poor　man　that　knows　him　laughs　loudest　of　all！（3）



Yes；　we're　boys；always　playing　with　tongue　or　with　pen；

And　I　sometimes　have　asked；Shall　we　ever　be　men？

Shall　we　always　be　youthful　and　laughing　and　gay；

Till　the　last　dear　companion　drops　smiling　away？



Then　here's　to　our　boyhood；　its　gold　and　its　gray！

The　stars　of　its　Winter；　the　dews　of　its　May！

And　when　we　have　done　with　our　life…lasting　toys；

Dear　Father；　take　care　of　thy　children；　the　Boys！





1　Francis　Thomas。

2　George　Tyler　Bigelow。

3　Francis　Boardman　Crowninshield。

4　G。　W。　Richardson。

5　George　Thomas　Davis。

6　James　Freeman　Clarke。

7　Benjamin　Peirce。









III



＇The　Professor　talks　with　the　Reader。　　He　tells　a

Young　Girl's　Story。＇



When　the　elements　that　went　to　the　making　of　the　first　man；　father　of

mankind；　had　been　withdrawn　from　the　world　of　unconscious　matter；　the

balance　of　creation　was　disturbed。　　The　materials　that　go　to　the

making　of　one　woman　were　set　free　by　the　abstraction　from　inanimate

nature　of　one　man's…worth　of　masculine　constituents。　　These　combined

to　make　our　first　mother；　by　a　logical　necessity　involved　in　the

previous　creation　of　our　common　father。　　All　this；　mythically；

illustratively；　and　by　no　means　doctrinally　or　polemically。



The　man　implies　the　woman；　you　will　understand。　　The　excellent

gentleman　whom　I　had　the　pleasure　of　setting　right　in　a　trifling

matter　a　few　weeks　ago　believes　in　the　frequent　occurrence　of

miracles　at　the　present　day。　　So　do　I。　　I　believe；　if　you　could　find

an　uninhabited　coral…reef　island；　in　the　middle　of　the　Pacific　Ocean；

with　plenty　of　cocoa…palms　and　bread…fruit　on　it；　and　put　a　handsome

young　fellow；　like　our　Marylander；　ashore　upon　it；　if　you　touched

there　a　year　afterwards；　you　would　find　him　walking　under　the　palm…

trees　arm　in　arm　with　a　pretty　woman。



Where　would　she　come　from？



Oh；　that　's　the　miracle！



I　was　just　as　certain；　when　I　saw　that　fine；　high…colored　youth　at

the　upper　right…hand　corner　of　our　table；　that　there　would　appear

some　fitting　feminine　counterpart　to　him；　as　if　I　had　been　a

clairvoyant；　seeing　it　all　beforehand。



I　have　a　fancy　that　those　Marylanders　are　just　about　near　enough　to

the　sun　to　ripen　well。　How　some　of　us　fellows　remember　Joe　and

Harry；　Baltimoreans；　both！　　Joe；　with　his　cheeks　like　lady…apples；

and　his　eyes　like　black…heart　cherries；　and　his　teeth　like　the

whiteness　of　the　flesh　of　cocoanuts；　and　his　laugh　that　set　the

chandelier…drops　rattling　overhead；　as　we　sat　at　our　sparkling

banquets　in　those　gay　；times！　　Harry；　champion；　by　acclamation；　of

the　college　heavy…weights；　broad…shouldered；　bull…necked；　square…

jawed；　six　feet　and　trimmings；　a　little　science；　lots　of　pluck；　good…

natured　as　a　steer　in　peace；　formidable　as　a　red…eyed　bison　in　the

crack　of　hand…to…hand　battle！　　Who　forgets　the　great　muster…day；　and

the　collision　of　the　classic　with　the　democratic　forces？　　The　huge

butcher；　fifteen　stone；two　hundred　and　ten　pounds；good　weight；

steps　out　like　Telamonian　Ajax；　defiant。　　No　words　from　Harry；　the

Baltimorean；one　of　the　quiet　sort；　who　strike　first；　and　do　the

talking；　if　there　is　any；　afterwards。　　No　words；　but；　in　the　place

thereof；　a　clean；　straight；　hard　hit；　which　took　effect　with　a　spank

like　the　explosion　of　a　percussion…cap；　knocking　the　slayer　of　beeves

down　a　sand…bank；followed；　alas！　by　the　too　impetuous　youth；　so

that　both　rolled　down　together；　and　the　conflict　terminated　in　one　of

those　inglorious　and　inevitable　Yankee　clinches；　followed　by　a

general　melee；　which　make　our　native　fistic　encounters　so　different

from　such　admirably…ordered　contests　as　that　which　I　once　saw　at　an

English　fair；　where　everything　was　done　decently　and　in　order；　and

the　fight　began　and　ended　with　such　grave　propriety；　that　a　sporting

parson　need　hardly　have　hesitated　to　open　it　with　a　devout　petition；

and；　after　it　was　over；　dismiss　the　ring　with　a　benediction。



I　can't　help　telling　one　more　story　about　this　great　field…day；

though　it　is　the　most　wanton　and　irrelevant　digression。　　But　all　of

us　have　a　little　speck　of　fight　underneath　our　peace　and　good…will　to

men；　just　a　speck；　for　revolutions　and　great　emergencies；　you　know；

so　that　we　should　not　submit　to　be　trodden　quite　flat　by　the　first

heavy…heeled　aggressor　that　came　along。　　You　can　tell　a　portrait　from

an　ideal　head；　I　suppose；　and　a　true　story　from　one　spun　out　of　the

writer's　invention。　　See　whether　this　sounds　true　or　not。



Admiral　Sir　Isaac　Coffin　sent　out　two　fine　blood…horses；　Barefoot　and

Serab　by　name；　to　Massachusetts；　something　before　the　time　I　am

talking　of。　　With　them　came　a　Yorkshire　groom；　a　stocky　little

fellow；　in　velvet　breeches；　who　made　that　mysterious　hissing　noise；

traditionary　in　English　stables；　when　he　rubbed　down　the　silken…

skinned　racers；　in　great　perfection。　　After　the　soldiers　had　come

from　the　muster…field；　and　some　of　the　companies　were　on　the　village…

common；　there　was　still　some　skirmishing　between　a　few　individuals

who　had　not　had　the　fight　taken　out　of　them。　　The　little　Yorkshire

groom　thought　he　must　serve　out　somebody。　　So　he　threw　himself　into

an　approved　scientific　attitude；　and；　in　brief；　emphatic　language；

expressed　his　urgent　anxiety　to　accommodate　any　classical　young

gentleman　who　chose　to　consider　himself　a　candidate　for　his

attentions。　　I　don't　suppose　there　were　many　of　the　college　boys　that

would　have　been　a　match　for　him　in　the　art　which　Englishmen　know　so

much　more　of　than　Americans；　for　the　most　part。　　However；　one　of　the

Sophomores；　a　very　quiet；　peaceable　fellow；　just　stepped　out　of　the

crowd；　and；　running　straight　at　the　groom；　as　he　stood　there；

sparring　away；　struck　him　with　the　sole　of　his　foot；　a　straight　blow；

as　if　it　had　been　with　his　fist；　and　knocked　him　heels　over　head　and

senseless；　so　that　he　had　to　be　carried　off　from　the　field。　　This

ugly　way　of　hitting　is　the　great　trick　of　the　French　gavate；　which　is

not　commonly　thought　able　to　stand　its　ground　against　English

pugilistic　science。　　These　are　old　recollections；　with　not　much　to

recommend　them；　except；　perhaps；　a　dash　of　life；　which　may　be　worth　a

little　something。



The　young　Marylander　brought　them　all　up；　you　may　remember。　　He

recalled　to　my　mind　those　two　splendid　pieces　of　vitality　I　told　you

of。　　Both　have　been　long　dead。　How　often　we　see　these　great　red…

flaring　flambeaux　of　life　blown　out；　as　it　were；　by　a　puff　of　wind；

and　the　little；　single…wicked　night…lamp　of　being；　which　some

white…faced　and　attenuated　invalid　shades　with　trembling　fingers；

flickering　on　while