lazy tour of two idle apprentices-第11章

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this　is　it！'



'A　watering…place；'　retorted　Thomas　Idle；　with　the　pardonable

sharpness　of　an　invalid；　'can't　be　five　gentlemen　in　straw　hats；　on

a　form　on　one　side　of　a　door；　and　four　ladies　in　hats　and　falls；　on

a　form　on　another　side　of　a　door；　and　three　geese　in　a　dirty　little

brook　before　them；　and　a　boy's　legs　hanging　over　a　bridge　（with　a

boy's　body　I　suppose　on　the　other　side　of　the　parapet）；　and　a

donkey　running　away。　　What　are　you　talking　about？'



'Allonby；　gentlemen；'　said　the　most　comfortable　of　landladies　as

she　opened　one　door　of　the　carriage；　'Allonby；　gentlemen；'　said　the

most　attentive　of　landlords；　as　he　opened　the　other。



Thomas　Idle　yielded　his　arm　to　the　ready　Goodchild；　and　descended

from　the　vehicle。　　Thomas；　now　just　able　to　grope　his　way　along；　in

a　doubled…up　condition；　with　the　aid　of　two　thick　sticks；　was　no

bad　embodiment　of　Commodore　Trunnion；　or　of　one　of　those　many

gallant　Admirals　of　the　stage；　who　have　all　ample　fortunes；　gout；

thick　sticks；　tempers；　wards；　and　nephews。　　With　this　distinguished

naval　appearance　upon　him；　Thomas　made　a　crab…like　progress　up　a

clean　little　bulk…headed　staircase；　into　a　clean　little　bulk…headed

room；　where　he　slowly　deposited　himself　on　a　sofa；　with　a　stick　on

either　hand　of　him；　looking　exceedingly　grim。



'Francis；'　said　Thomas　Idle；　'what　do　you　think　of　this　place？'



'I　think；'　returned　Mr。　Goodchild；　in　a　glowing　way；　'it　is

everything　we　expected。'



'Hah！'　said　Thomas　Idle。



'There　is　the　sea；'　cried　Mr。　Goodchild；　pointing　out　of　window；

'and　here；'　pointing　to　the　lunch　on　the　table；　'are　shrimps。　　Let

us　…　'　here　Mr。　Goodchild　looked　out　of　window；　as　if　in　search　of

something；　and　looked　in　again；　…　'let　us　eat　'em。'



The　shrimps　eaten　and　the　dinner　ordered；　Mr。　Goodchild　went　out　to

survey　the　watering…place。　　As　Chorus　of　the　Drama；　without　whom

Thomas　could　make　nothing　of　the　scenery；　he　by…and…by　returned；　to

have　the　following　report　screwed　out　of　him。



In　brief；　it　was　the　most　delightful　place　ever　seen。



'But；'　Thomas　Idle　asked；　'where　is　it？'



'It's　what　you　may　call　generally　up　and　down　the　beach；　here　and

there；'　said　Mr。　Goodchild；　with　a　twist　of　his　hand。



'Proceed；'　said　Thomas　Idle。



It　was；　Mr。　Goodchild　went　on　to　say；　in　cross…examination；　what

you　might　call　a　primitive　place。　　Large？　　No；　it　was　not　large。

Who　ever　expected　it　would　be　large？　　Shape？　　What　a　question　to

ask！　　No　shape。　　What　sort　of　a　street？　　Why；　no　street。　　Shops？

Yes；　of　course　（quite　indignant）。　　How　many？　　Who　ever　went　into　a

place　to　count　the　shops？　　Ever　so　many。　　Six？　　Perhaps。　　A

library？　　Why；　of　course　（indignant　again）。　　Good　collection　of

books？　　Most　likely　…　couldn't　say　…　had　seen　nothing　in　it　but　a

pair　of　scales。　　Any　reading…room？　　Of　course；　there　was　a　reading…

room。　　Where？　　Where！　why；　over　there。　　Where　was　over　there？　　Why；

THERE！　　Let　Mr。　Idle　carry　his　eye　to　that　bit　of　waste　ground

above　high…water　mark；　where　the　rank　grass　and　loose　stones　were

most　in　a　litter；　and　he　would　see　a　sort　of　long；　ruinous　brick

loft；　next　door　to　a　ruinous　brick　out…house；　which　loft　had　a

ladder　outside；　to　get　up　by。　　That　was　the　reading…room；　and　if

Mr。　Idle　didn't　like　the　idea　of　a　weaver's　shuttle　throbbing　under

a　reading…room；　that　was　his　look　out。　　HE　was　not　to　dictate；　Mr。

Goodchild　supposed　（indignant　again）；　to　the　company。



'By…the…by；'　Thomas　Idle　observed；　'the　company？'



Well！　（Mr。　Goodchild　went　on　to　report）　very　nice　company。　　Where

were　they？　　Why；　there　they　were。　　Mr。　Idle　could　see　the　tops　of

their　hats；　he　supposed。　　What？　　Those　nine　straw　hats　again；　five

gentlemen's　and　four　ladies'？　　Yes；　to　be　sure。　　Mr。　Goodchild

hoped　the　company　were　not　to　be　expected　to　wear　helmets；　to

please　Mr。　Idle。



Beginning　to　recover　his　temper　at　about　this　point；　Mr。　Goodchild

voluntarily　reported　that　if　you　wanted　to　be　primitive；　you　could

be　primitive　here；　and　that　if　you　wanted　to　be　idle；　you　could　be

idle　here。　　In　the　course　of　some　days；　he　added；　that　there　were

three　fishing…boats；　but　no　rigging；　and　that　there　were　plenty　of

fishermen　who　never　fished。　　That　they　got　their　living　entirely　by

looking　at　the　ocean。　　What　nourishment　they　looked　out　of　it　to

support　their　strength；　he　couldn't　say；　but；　he　supposed　it　was

some　sort　of　Iodine。　　The　place　was　full　of　their　children；　who

were　always　upside　down　on　the　public　buildings　（two　small　bridges

over　the　brook）；　and　always　hurting　themselves　or　one　another；　so

that　their　wailings　made　more　continual　noise　in　the　air　than　could

have　been　got　in　a　busy　place。　　The　houses　people　lodged　in；　were

nowhere　in　particular；　and　were　in　capital　accordance　with　the

beach；　being　all　more　or　less　cracked　and　damaged　as　its　shells

were；　and　all　empty　…　as　its　shells　were。　　Among　them；　was　an

edifice　of　destitute　appearance；　with　a　number　of　wall…eyed　windows

in　it；　looking　desperately　out　to　Scotland　as　if　for　help；　which

said　it　was　a　Bazaar　（and　it　ought　to　know）；　and　where　you　might

buy　anything　you　wanted　…　supposing　what　you　wanted；　was　a　little

camp…stool　or　a　child's　wheelbarrow。　　The　brook　crawled　or　stopped

between　the　houses　and　the　sea；　and　the　donkey　was　always　running

away；　and　when　he　got　into　the　brook　he　was　pelted　out　with　stones；

which　never　hit　him；　and　which　always　hit　some　of　the　children　who

were　upside　down　on　the　public　buildings；　and　made　their

lamentations　louder。　　This　donkey　was　the　public　excitement　of

Allonby；　and　was　probably　supported　at　the　public　expense。



The　foregoing　descriptions；　delivered　in　separate　items；　on

separate　days　of　adventurous　discovery；　Mr。　Goodchild　severally

wound　up；　by　looking　out　of　window；　looking　in　again；　and　saying；

'But　there　is　the　sea；　and　here　are　the　shrimps　…　let　us　eat　'em。'



There　were　fine　sunsets　at　Allonby　when　the　low　flat　beach；　with

its　pools　of　water　and　its　dry　patches；　changed　into　long　bars　of

silver　and　gold　in　various　states　of　burnishing；　and　there　were

fine　views　…　on　fine　days　…　of　the　Scottish　coast。　　But；　when　it

rained　at　Allonby；　Allonby　thrown　back　upon　its　ragged　self；　became

a　kind　of　place　which　the　donkey　seemed　to　have　found　out；　and　to

have　his　highly　sagacious　reasons　for　wishing　to　bolt　from。　　Thomas

Idle　observed；　too；　that　Mr。　Goodchild；　with　a　noble　show　of

disinterestedness；　became　every　day　more　ready　to　walk　to　Maryport

and　back；　for　letters；　and　suspicions　began　to　harbour　in　the　mind

of　Thomas；　that　his　friend　deceived　him；　and　that　Maryport　was　a

preferable　place。



Therefore；　Thomas　said　to　Francis　on　a　day　when　they　had　looked　at

the　sea　and　eaten　the　shrimps；　'My　mind　misgives　me；　Goodchild；

that　you　go　to　Maryport；　like　the　boy　in　the　story…book；　to　ask　IT

to　be　idle　with　you。'



'Judge；　then；'　returned　Francis；　adopting　the　style　of　the　story…

book；　'with　what　success。　　I　go　to　a　region　which　is　a　bit　of

water…side　Bristol；　with　a　slice　of　Wapping；　a　seasoning　of

Wolverhampton；　and　a　garnish　of　Portsmouth；　and　I　say；　〃Will　YOU

come　and　be　idle　with　me？〃　　And　it　answers；　〃No；　for　I　am　a　great

deal　too　vaporous；　and　a　great　deal　too　rusty；　and　a　great　deal　too

muddy；　and　a　great　deal　too　dirty　altogether；　and　I　have　ships　to

load；　and　pitch　and　tar　to　boil；　and　iron　to　hammer；　and　steam　to

get　up；　and　smoke　to　make；　and　stone　to　quarry；　and　fifty　other

disagreeable　things　to　do；　and　I　can't　be　idle　with　you。〃　　Then　I

go　into　jagged　up…hill　and　down…hill　streets；　where　I　am　in　the

pastrycook's　shop　at　one　moment；　and　next　moment　in　savage

fastnesses　of　moor　and　morass；　beyond　the　confines　of　civilisation；

and　I　say　to　those　murky　and　black…dusty　streets；　〃Will　YOU　come

and　be　idle　with　me？〃　　To　which　they　reply；　〃No；　we　can't；　indeed；

for　we　haven't　the　spirits；　and　we　are　startled　by　the　echo　of　your

feet　on　the　sharp　pavement；　and　we　have　so　many　goods　in　our　shop…

windows　which　nobody　wants；　and　we　have　so　much　to　do　for　a　limited

public　which　never　comes　to　us　to　be　done　for；　that　we　are

altogether　out　of　sorts　and　can't　enjoy　ourselves　with　any　one。〃

So　I　go　to　the　Post…office；　and　knock　at　the　shutter；　and　I　say　to

the　Post…master；　〃Will　YOU　come　and　be　idle　with　me？〃　　To　which　he

rejoins；　〃No；　I　really　can't；　for　I　live；　as　you　may　see；　in　such　a

very　little　Post…office；　and　pass　my　life　behind　such　a　very　little

shutter；　that　my　hand；　when　I　put　it　out；　is　as　the　hand　of　a　giant

crammed　through　the　window　of　a　dwarf's　house　at　a　fair；　and　I　am　a

mere　Post…office　anchorite　in　a　cell　much　too　small　for　him；　and　I

can't　get　out；　and　I　can't　get　in；　and　I　have　no　space　to　be　idle

in；　even　if　I　would。〃　　So；　the　boy；'　said　Mr。　Goodchild；　concluding

the　tale；　'comes　back　with　the　letters　after　all；　and　lives　happy

never　afterwards。'



But　it　may；　not　unreasonably；　be　asked　…　while　Francis　Goodchild

was　wandering　hither　and　thither；　storing　his　mind　with　perpetual

observation　of　men　and　things；　and　sincerely　believing　himself　to

be　the　laziest　creature　in　existence　all　the　time　…　how　did　Thomas

Idle；　crippled　and　confined　to　the　house；　contrive　to　get　through

the　hours　of　the　day？



Prone　on　the　sofa；　Thomas　made　no　attempt　to　get　through　the　hours；

but　passively　allowed　the　hours　to　get　through　HIM。　　Where　other

men　in　his　situation　would　have　read　books　and　improved　their

minds；　Thomas　slept　and　rested　his　body。　　Where　other　men　would

have　pondered　anxiously　over　their　future　prospects；　Thomas　dreamed

lazily　of　his　past　life。　　The　one　solitary　thing　he　did；　which　most

other　people　would　have　done　in　his　place；　was　to　resolve　on　making

certain　alterations　and　improvements　in　his　mode　of　existence；　as

soon　as　the　effects　of　the　misfortune　that　had　overtaken　him　had

all　passed　away。　　Remembering　that　the　current　of　his　life　had

hitherto　oozed　along　in　one　smooth　stream　of　laziness；　occasionally

troubled　on　the　surface　by　a　slight　passing　ripple　of　industry；　his

present　ideas　on　the　subject　of　self…reform；　inclined　him　…　not　as

the　reader　may　be　disposed　to　imagine；　to　project　schemes　for　a　new

existence　of　enterprise　and　exertion　…　but；　on　the　contrary；　to

resolve　that　he　would　never；　if　he　could　possibly　help　it；　be

active　or　industrious　again；　throughout　the　whole　of　his　future

career。



It　is　due　to　Mr。　Idle　to　relate　that　his　mind　sauntered　towards

this　peculiar　conclusion　on　distinct　and　logically…producible

grounds。　　After　reviewing；　quite　at　his　ease；　and　with　many　needful

intervals　of　repose；　the　generally…placid　spectacle　of　his　past

existence；　he　arrived　at　the　discovery　that　all　the　great　disasters

which　had　tried　his　patience　and　equanimity　in　early　life；　had　been

caused　by　his　having　allowed　himself　to　be　deluded　into　imitating

some　pernicious　example　of　activity　and　industry　that　had　been　set

him　by　others。　　The