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misc writings and speeches(米斯克说与写)-第31章

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held    intercourse     with    beings    of   another    world。     I   solemnly      declare; 

therefore; that I never saw a ghost; like Lord Lyttleton; consulted a gipsy; 

like Josephine; or heard my name pronounced by an absent person; like Dr 

Johnson。      Though it is now almost as usual for gentlemen to appear at the 

moment of their death to their friends as to call on them during their life; 



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none of my acquaintance have been so polite as to pay me that customary 

attention。     I have derived my knowledge neither from the dead nor from 

the living; neither from the lines of a hand; nor from the grounds of a tea… 

cup; neither   from  the   stars   of   the   firmament;   nor   from  the   fiends   of   the 

abyss。     I have never; like the Wesley family; heard 〃that mighty leading 

angel;〃 who 〃drew after him the third part of heaven's sons;〃 scratching in 

my   cupboard。   I   have   never   been   enticed   to   sign   any   of   those   delusive 

bonds which have been   the ruin of so   many poor creatures; and;  having 

always been an indifferent horse man; I have been careful not to venture 

myself on a broomstick。 

     My insight into futurity; like that of George Fox the quaker; and that of 

our    great   and   philosophic     poet;   Lord    Byron;    is  derived    from    simple 

presentiment。       This   is   a   far   less   artificial   process   than   those   which   are 

employed by some others。             Yet my predictions will; I believe; be found 

more correct than theirs; or; at all events; as Sir Benjamin Back bite says 

in the play; 〃more circumstantial。〃 

     I  prophesy     then;   that;  in  the   year   2824;   according     to  our   present 

reckoning; a grand national Epic Poem; worthy to be compared with the 

Iliad; the Aeneid; or the Jerusalem; will be published in London。 

     Men   naturally   take   an   interest   in   the   adventures   of   every   eminent 

writer。    I   will;   therefore;   gratify   the   laudable   curiosity;   which;   on   this 

occasion; will doubtless be universal; by pre fixing to my account of the 

poem a concise memoir of the poet。 

     Richard Quongti will be born at Westminster on the 1st of July; 2786。 

He   will   be   the   younger   son   of   the   younger   branch   of   one   of   the   most 

respectable      families   in  England。     He     will  be  linearly   descended      from 

Quongti; the famous Chinese liberal; who; after the failure of the  heroic 

attempt of his party to obtain a constitution from the Emperor Fim Fam; 

will    take   refuge    in  England;     in  the   twenty…third     century。    Here     his 

descendants   will   obtain considerable   note;   and   one branch of   the  family 

will be raised to the peerage。 

     Richard; however; though destined to exalt his family to distinction far 

nobler than any which wealth or titles can bestow; will be born to a very 

scanty fortune。       He will display in his early youth such striking talents as 



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will attract the notice of Viscount Quongti; his third cousin; then secretary 

of   state   for  the   Steam    Department。       At    the   expense    of   this  eminent 

nobleman;   he   will   be   sent   to   prosecute   his   studies   at   the   university   of 

Tombuctoo。        To that illustrious seat of the muses all the ingenuous youth 

of every country will then be attracted by the high scientific character of 

Professor   Quashaboo;   and   the   eminent   literary   attainments   of   Professor 

Kissey      Kickey。      In   spite   of   this   formidable      competition;     however; 

Quongti       will   acquire    the   highest     honours     in   every    department      of 

knowledge; and will obtain the esteem of his associates by his amiable and 

unaffected   manners。        The   guardians   of   the   young   Duke   of   Carrington; 

premier peer of England; and the last remaining scion of the ancient and 

illustrious house of Smith; will be desirous to secure so able an instructor 

for their ward。       With the Duke; Quongti will perform the grand tour; and 

visit the polished   courts of   Sydney and   Capetown。              After prevailing   on 

his pupil; with great difficulty; to subdue a violent and imprudent passion 

which      he   had   conceived      for  a   Hottentot    lady;   of   great   beauty    and 

accomplishments indeed; but of dubious character; he will travel with him 

to the United States of America。            But that tremendous war which will be 

fatal   to American   liberty  will;  at   that   time;  be   raging through   the   whole 

federation。      At New York the travellers will hear of the final defeat and 

death of the illustrious champion of freedom; Jonathon Higginbottom; and 

of the elevation of Ebenezer Hogsflesh to the perpetual Presidency。 They 

will not choose to proceed in a journey which would expose them to the 

insults    of   that  brutal   soldiery;    whose     cruelty   and   rapacity    will   have 

devastated Mexico and Colombia; and now; at length; enslaved their own 

country。 

     On   their   return   to   England;   A。D。   2810;   the   death   of   the   Duke   will 

compel   his   preceptor   to   seek   for   a   subsistence   by  literary   labours。    His 

fame will be raised by many small productions of considerable merit; and 

he will at last obtain a permanent place in the highest class of writers by 

his great epic poem。 

     The celebrated work will become; with unexampled rapidity; a popular 

favourite。      The   sale   will   be   so   beneficial   to   the   author   that;   instead   of 

going about the dirty streets on his velocipede; he will be enabled to set up 



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his balloon。 

     The character of this noble poem will be so finely and justly given in 

the    Tombuctoo        Review      for   April    2825;    that   I  cannot     refrain    from 

translating     the   passage。     The     author    will  be   our   poet's   old   preceptor; 

Professor Kissey Kickey。 

     〃In pathos; in splendour of language; in sweetness of versification; Mr 

Quongti has long been considered as unrivalled。 In his exquisite poem on 

the   Ornithorhynchus   Paradoxus   all   these   qualities   are   displayed   in   their 

greatest perfection。        How exquisitely does   that work arrest and   embody 

the   undefined   and   vague   shadows   which   flit   over   an   imaginative   mind。 

The cold worldling may not comprehend it; but it will find a response in 

the   bosom   of   every   youthful   poet;   of   every   enthusiastic   lover;   who   has 

seen   an   Ornithorhynchus   Paradoxus by  moonlight。                 But  we   were   yet   to 

learn that he possessed the comprehension; the judgment; and the fertility 

of mind indispensable to the epic poet。 

     〃It   is  difficult    to  conceive     a   plot   more    perfect    than    that  of   the 

'Wellingtoniad。'        It is most faithful to the manners of the age to which it 

relates。      It   preserves      exactly    all   the   historical     circumstances;       and 

interweaves        them     most    artfully    with    all   the   speciosa      miracula     of 

supernatural agency。〃 

     Thus     far   the   learned    Professor     of   Humanity      in   the  university     of 

Tombuctoo。         I   fear  that   the  critics   of  our   time    will  form   an    opinion 

diametrically   opposite   as   to   these   every   points。        Some   will;   I   fear;   be 

disgusted      by   the  machinery;      which     is  derived    from   the    mythology   of 

ancient   Greece。       I   can   only   say   that;   in   the   twenty…ninth   century;   that 

machinery will be universally in use among poets; and that Quongti will 

use   it;   partly   in   conformity   with   the   general   practice;   and   partly   from   a 

veneration; perhaps excessive; for the great remains of classical antiquity; 

which will then; as now; be assiduously read by every man of education; 

though   Tom   Moore's   songs   will   be   forgotten;   and   only   three   copies   of 

Lord Byron's works will exist:             one in the possession of King George the 

Nineteenth;   one   in   the   Duke   of   Carrington's   collection;   and   one   in   the 

library     of  the   British   Museum。        Finally;    should     any   good    people     be 

concerned   to   hear   that   Pagan   fictions   will   so   long   retain   their   influence 



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over literature; let them reflect that; as the Bishop of St David's says; in his 

〃Proofs of the Inspiration of the Sibylline Verses;〃 read at the last meeting 

of the Royal Society of Literature; 〃at all events; a Pagan is not a Papist。〃 

     Some   readers   of   the   present   day   may   think   that   Quongti   is   by   no 

means entitled to the compliments which his Negro critic pays him on his 

adherence   to   the   historical   circumstances   of   the   time   in   which   he   has 

chosen his subject; that; where he introduces any trait of our manners; it is 

in   the   wrong   place;   and   that   he   confounds   the   customs   of   our   age   with 

those   of   much   more   remote   periods。        I   can   only   say   that   the   charge   is 

infinitely more applicable to Homer; Virgil; and Tasso。                    If; therefore; the 

reader     should    detect;   in  the   following     abstract    of  the   plot;   any   little 

deviation   from   strict   historical   accuracy;   let   him   reflect;   for   a   moment; 

whether   Agamemnon   would   not   have   found   as   much   to   censure   in   the 

Iliad;Dido   in   the   Aeneid;or   Godfrey   in   the   Jerusalem。         Let   him   not 

suffer   his   opinions   to   depend   on   circumstances   which   cannot   possibly 

affect the truth or falsehood of the representation。                If it be impossible for 

a single man to kill hundreds in battle; the impossibility is not diminished 

by distance of time。         If it be as certain that Rinaldo never disenchanted a 

forest in Palestine as it is that the Duke of Wellington never disenchanted 

the forest of Soignies; can we; as rational men; tolerate the one story and 

ridicule the other?        Of this; at least; I am certain; that whatever excuse we 

have for admiri

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